32. Discovery

Hello lovelies! Shatter was #34 yesterday! Ermigerd! I can't believe it. Can i just say im gonna crap myself if it gets up to the top 10!?!?

🎵🎶started from the bottom now we here🎶🎵

Haha anyways.. heres a POV we have all been waiting for!!!

Next chapter Grace's daddy comes to town 😲😲😲😲

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Zaryn

I stared down at my beautiful mate.. so many emotions flooding through me at once..

Love.. guilt.. rage.. hatred.. agony.. sadness..

She lay in the hospital bed, her hair a gorgeous dark brown with highlights of chestnut and caramel.. an array of shimmering color wrapped into one.. beautiful waves cascading around her sleeping form.

Such long beautiful hair.. my fingers itched to touch it.. so i did. Stroking silky strands between my fingers lightly as i studied her usually tanned face which was now pale from the bloodloss.. dark circles under her eyes and her pouty pink lips now a flesh tone...dry..

My lips still ached to kiss hers..

The bond between us was like standing in the ocean.. feeling light, weightless as waves lapped at your skin.. this was the affect that she had on me. It was even more of a pull now that our wolves were one..

My wolf tried to reach out to hers but she wasn't answering. My own brother had poisoned her with herbs that put the wolf side in a deep sleep, leaving the skin side helpless... doing that to a werewolf is unforgivable.  If I hadn't shown up in time, I hate to think what would have happened..

My fist clenched when i thought of Deacon.. my so called brother. The one who attempted to take advantage of my mate.. to forcibly mark and mate her as his own when he has a mate out there somewhere. He has always wanted what I had.

Deacon was no longer my brother.

Nic was more of a brother to me that Deacon would ever be..

But i would deal with Deacon later. Right now i needed to focus on Nova.

It broke my heart that she had seen me kiss Grace. I don't even know what happened or why i did it.. i just felt.. compelled to kiss her. It was just a friendly kiss which happened to be on the lips but i felt nothing from it. I cant even remember why i did it!

The pain in Nova's eyes.. it hurt her. Deeply. And for that i will forever feel horrible... i can't stand to see her hurt. Especially now that i can feel her wolf's emotions too.

Thinking of the letters she left me...

They hurt. Her words saying she didnt want me anymore.. that i should be with Grace when i didn't want to be. I just want Nova. I'll always only ever want Nova. I wish she could see that.

I put my hand under Nova's, feeling her soft skin as i let the welcomed electric current soothe my emotions.. so many I was feeling right now as I held her hand.

"Zaryn?"

I turned quickly to see Nic standing in the doorway with my dad and Beta Jack, Nova and Nic's dad. Jack peered down at Nova with helpless green eyes.. her entire family had green eyes, just all different shades... Nova's was the best by far.. her eyes were always so bright like rich clovers, flecks of gold around the inner part..

"Dad. Beta Jack. Nic." I nodded my head, stepping toward them, my skin crawling, wanting to be close to Nova's once more. I clenched my jaw, preparing myself for my next words.

"What is going to be done with Deacon?" My brow rose in curiosity, daring him to say something i didn't want to hear. He better not let him off with easy punishment for this.. this kind of behavior was supposed to be dealt with according to wishes of her mate.

But we arent fully mated so i get no say.

Dad sighed, his tired eyes focusing on Nova's still form. "Your brother is locked in one of the cellars. He is to stay down there for two weeks. Afterwards, he will be chained to the dog house, forced to stay in wolf form for a month. I think embarassment will work better for your brother than lashes. And you cant decide his fate since you aren't mated to Nova fully. I hope you and Jack think this is fair.." he trailed off, looking up at Jack who nodded solemnly.

"I dont agree." Nic scowled at my dad, puffing up his chest. "You weren't there. He almost forcibly marked her and raped her.. gashes in her flesh.. everywhere. Blood all over her.." he seethed angrily. I felt that same anger. Deacon deserved more than that. Finally Nic and I could agree on something.

I stood beside Nic, nodding in agreement. "The night of the party, he also tried to take advantage of her. She told me. He has been harassing her for some time now." I pursed my lips.

"What!?!" Beta Jack yelled.."Deacon tried to take advantage of my daughter!? I want Nic to fight Deacon after his punishment is over. Fuck being chained up for a month, that's too easy. I want him to suffer a little, Blake. He almost defiled my daughter!" He pounded his fist on the metal table, veins popping out of his skin as his wolf's eyes peered out at us, protecting what's his. His pup.

Nic chuckled darkly. "I will accept that."

Nodding in agreement, i decided to make it more interesting. "I want a piece of him as well." He hurt my mate.. he wont survive without losing the hands that did that, brother be damned.

Dad glared at both Nic and I. "No. He is still your brother you cant just kill him. What he did to Nova is unacceptable but we arent monsters like Dark Moon. After a few weeks in the cellar, he will have the option of being chained for a month or fighting challengers. He will make the decision. Whatever happens after that is out of my hands. If either of you fight him without cause however, i will have to punish you. So if you're going to do it.. he needs to attack you first. That's all i will say on that matter. I don't want either of you in the dog house. Literally. " he commanded in his Alpha tone as we bowed our heads in submission.. but Nic just stared at my Dad.. conflicted and perturbed.

A low growl resonated from Nic's chest as his eyes stayed on my dad's.. a direct challenge to the Alpha. Dad's wolf peered out, snarling at Nic. "Boy, put your claws away unless you want to do this.. but you better take me out if you challenge me." He growled, Beta Jack tugging on Nic's arm.

"Nic. Stop it." Jack rumbled low. Reluctantly, Nic dropped his eyes from dad's stare with a glare and moved away to watch Nova's sleeping form.

"I've been such an awful brother.." he whispered, his mossy eyes sparkling with unshed tears. I wanted to tell him he wasnt... but i knew about his guilt.. always trying to protect Grace when she was in danger from Nova's wolf two times..

just like i did.

With Grace being his mate, i knew exactly how hard it was for his wolf. He couldn't stay away.. the wolf urged to protect Grace just like mine urged to protect our unborn pup..

Its a maddening feeling .

"Nic. You're a good brother.. you cant help what your wolf wants.. its something we cant stop. I know your pain." I kept my voice low.. soft.

He let out a strangled sob, clutching Nova's hand as Dad and Jack left the room to give us some privacy.

"But.. i love her." He croaked as tears ran down his face.

I rested a hand on his shoulder. "She knows you love her Nic. You're her brother.."

"No!" He turned to me, eyes hard. "I love my sister but im talking about Grace! I love her! And i know i shouldn't but i do! I want to do anything i can to help her! My wolf... my wolf even wants to take you out of the equation so he can have her! The fact that my wolf would risk my own sister having a mate hurts me.. because i would never do that for a female like Grace.. " he seethed.. seeming pained. "But she's not really a bad wolf like everyone thinks.. and you.. you just couldn't keep it in your pants and had to ruin not only my life but my sisters!!! I should hate you. And i try.. but.. i can't help but feel a connection with you because I guess because you're my friend.. but i wont let you have Grace. My wolf won't let you have her. When the time comes Zaryn.. i cant promise you that my wolf wont challenge you for title of Alpha. Its something i can't control." He admitted, wiping the tears from his eyes angrily.

I took a step forward, feeling my wolf scratch the surface from Nic's open threat. "You won't win a challenge with me. And Grace is carrying my pup. Her father wants her to be mated to me . I dont want her. I never did. But my wolf is another story..  he wants the pup and will protect her but other than that, we feel nothing for her." I growled lowly, Nic's eyes finding mine.

"It seems we both are on opposite sides of our wolves. You dont want her yet your wolf wants the pup.. i do want her.. and so does my wolf. I would take her whether she had the pup or not. I would love both of them.. my wolf.. I know he would love her regardless as well.. but i know she wont want me unless i have a title. You know i would never do that to my sister.. take her rightful position as Luna away from her and possibly her mate.. but my wolf would and that scares the shit out of me... but let me ask you something. Do you want my sister? What are your plans Z? I know you fucked up but what do you want?" He pressed me.. studying me with a tight jaw, eyes not letting mine go.

We weren't having a fight.. just an aggresive conversation.. two wolves talking about our feelings and the what ifs. Its how males handle their differences.... other than fighting.

I held his angry green eyes with mine, pushing down the wolf inside me. I had thought about this question many times.. many many times.

"I want Nova. I want to be with Nova. I love her. But she doesn't want me anymore.. she wrote me a letter telling me to pursue Grace and do the right thing.. something happened earlier.. i was talking to Grace.. screaming at her for embarassing Nova.. trying to get her punished by baiting her wolf.. when i calmed, i told her about how much i loved Nova and how hurt i was that she doesn't want me anymore.. something compelled me.. Grace leaned in and i just.. pecked her." I sighed, running my hands through my hair as a growl came from Nic. I glanced up to see his eyes darkening in anger.

"Hold up Nic i said i didnt want to. I felt compelled. But Nova got upset.. i thought she didn't want me anymore? But then her wolf marked mine.. i mean.. hell we have completed half the bond already! I cant just let her go.. i.. I love her. But her letter...." i looked over at Nova longingly.. her beautiful face was all i could see in my mind.. always.

I felt Nic walk closer to me.. agression radiating from his wolf as he tried to reign him in.. my wolf was angry at him too.. for wanting to be with Grace even if she had my pup. My wolf didnt want another male around his offspring.

Feeling this way is so complicated.. for both of us. Both of us loving the same wolves.. my loving Nova as a mate.. him loving her as a sister.. my wolf loving our unborn pup as well as myself but my skin side wishing it wouldn't have happened.. while Nic's wolf and skin side loved that female carrying my pup..

Either choice we both made would hurt Nova.. our one common denominator.

We both wanted her to be happy.

"Zaryn.. can I see the letter Nova wrote you? You said she wrote a letter telling you to move on with Grace. Can i see it?" His tone was human like once more.. calming down.

"Um. Yeah.." i furrowed my brows in confusion as i stuffed my hand in my pocket, fishing out the one letter that broke my heart.. the one that made me cry like a baby over the love of my life telling me she no longer wanted me anymore.. I handed the letter to Nic, watching with curious eyes as he scanned the worn letter.

His wolf must be hurt that his sister was pushing her own mate to be with her brothers own mate..

This whole situation is a headache.

Nic's eyes found mine, "You're an idiot." He shoved the letter to my chest, laughing darkly.

My brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

Shaking his head in disbelief, he let out a sarcastic laugh. "My sister would never tell you something like that. At first i thought you were lying.. but now i just think you're an idiot because that's not my sister's handwriting." He mused as I dropped my mouth open, brows knitting together.

"Then whose is it?" Narrowing my eyes, i watched him in his relaxed stance.

"Its your brothers. He tried to write it differently.. but its him. In Beta training, fighting isnt the only thing we are trained to do.. we are also trained to catch scents.. and familiarize ourselves with handwriting in instances the Alpha is being played when it comes to messages since it happened with your great great grandfather.. and that, my friend, is your Dear brother's writing, altered to seem more feminine." He chuckled.

The fury pulsating through me now was like nothing I had felt so far.. my jaw clenched.. nostirls flaring as i scanned the paper. I felt like an idiot for what i believed Nova had said.. it was Deacon's plan all along and i knew he was up to no good with her. I felt it. I could also feel my eyes darkening as my muscles clenched in anger... the betrayel that he had caused ... forcing me to think my mate had given up.. that she had wanted me to pursue a life with Grace even though our wolves were bonded..

Taking a step back, i glared at Nic who seemed amused at my pain before turning on my heel, letter fisting in my hand as I rushed out of Doc's clinic.

I knew what i had to do next...

Break into Deacon's room and find some answers as to what he has been up to.

There's no way i was letting my mate go without a fight. And I'll be damned if Deacon ever layed a filthy paw on her ever again. She was mine. I was hers. Regardless of Grace being pregnant.. all i wanted was Nova.

My wolf wanted Nova.

Knowing she watched me in the clinic with Grace.. my wolf wanting to comfort Grace because of the simple fact she was carrying our pup and nothing more.. she watched me place a kiss on Grace's stomach that was for my pup only.. thinking that i had some sort of feelings for Grace.

I dont! I dont want Grace. I never did...

I have confused feelings about my pup.. but any soon to be dad would want their pup..

I think of humans.. if a man was married and got another woman pregnant.. which humans don't go through heats so it would have been able to be controlled but just thinking about that scenario.. even if the man didn't want to be with the other woman... he would still want his baby..

Wouldn't he?

Am I a bad wolf for wanting my pup? To be a good father?

I just wish she had never gotten pregnant...

I stormed past my dad and Beta Jack, my shoulders back, gliding past all the watching eyes with purpose as I made my way down the dark dirt road, ignoring my dad calling out to me.

Picking up speed, i ran, needing to find amswers.. craving to find something .. anything that incriminated my brother for tampering with the bond between my mate and I. The cool air whipped past me as i ran, muscles gorging with blood, veins pulsating with the blood flow that my quickening heart pumped through my body. I was a wolf on a mission.

Reaching the pack house, i wasted no time in wrenching the front door open and racing up to the third floor as wolves eyed me in contempt.

Not being with my mate was causing an uproar already...i knew what I had to do now after this was all over.

Once i found myself on the third floor, i busted Deacon's bedroom door open, sending it flying off the hinges as i flicked the lights open, eyes searching around, contemplating where to start..

Deciding with the dresser drawers in his armoire, I pulled them all open, rummaging through his belongings.

I searched everywhere.. high and low.. going throigh every pocket of every piece of clothing.. every nook and cranny.. finding nothing.

I sat on his bed, trying to catch my breath as I forced myself to think..

Deacon being Deacon... he always liked to copy me.. if he had written a fake letter and put it back in our hiding spot... then...

"He would have a hiding spot too." I breathed, reality setting in as i fell onto my knees, using my wolf senses to smell the wooden floor, sniffing around as i crawled.. trying to locate where Deacon's scent was most concentrated.

I'm sure I looked like an idiot.

It was under the rug...

How obvious..

I quickly threw back the rug and noticed a wooden board that was slightly off kilter from the rest. I tucked my fingers inside the crevice and pulled up, wrenching the board away from the floor and stared open mouthed at what I saw.

My heart sped up as well as my breathing as i reached  down and picked up a few loose letters.. written from both me and Nova .. to each other.. the one on top being the one I wrote when I cried .. my tears smudging the ink. Feeling my heart hammer inside my chest at the anger that swept through me, i layed it down before going to the next.. it was from Nova.

One i never recieved.

I scanned it, realizing now that Nova would never tell me to be with Grace. Im such an idiot. Nova is so kind.. smart.. generous.. shes funny and strong.. so strong..

And she's mine..

Left in my hand next was a journal and a sachet of herbal tea bags. Chunking the tea bags back in the floorboard, I opened the journal and flipped it open as i started to read..

An entry that caught my attention was one from a few days ago..

The day Grace sauntered in the kitchen, embarassing her ...

I felt the anger inside me increase by tenfold as i read the entry..

Today she told me i had to keep following Z. Said if i wanted to keep Nova that i needed to follow him.

As usual, they met at the treehouse when they knew they werent supposed to. I hated the fact that she needed him.. that he was her mate. I wish anyone was her mate other than Z. My love for Nova runs deep.. and until she found her mate, i wasn't sure how deep. Until now.

I watched them from.afar.. worrying that Z might get too close but soon, he left. He was on edge.. I think he had heard me. I climbed up the top of a tree close to the tree house.. my scent masked by the spray he keeps up in the tree house.. i discovered it and began using it on myself for when i needed to spy.

After he left, i followed him.. he got into one of the motor boats and sped off down the lake so i followed.. in wolf form. Running along the bank trying to keep up. He didnt stop until he was out of the pack lands and into human territory.. pulling up to the bank and tying the boat off .. disappearing into the woods.

I waited all night... watching. The next morning when he finally left on the boat heading back to the pack , i swam across the lake and followed his scent leading me to a camp site covered in his scent.. it appeared to be his getaway.. but another scent mingled with his.. it was Nova's.

As i sniffed around in wolf form.. i uncovered a pair of ripped lace thongs.. covered in her arrousal but stale.. the scent of wet earth masking most of it but it was still very evident, having soured over the weeks.

It pained me. I hope she didnt give herself to him.. he would only hurt her.

Sniffing around more, i smelled what i thought to be the familiar scent of Zaryn, my wolfs claws digging into the earth, i came across a plastic bag. My claws had punctured the bad, sending its soured smell out for me to sniff. It was a tissue with Zaryn's arrousal on it mixed with Nova's...

She gave herself to him. Here. Or at least they had a heated session of foreplay...

The torture i felt was ridiculous. He was her mate.. it should be okay.. but Zaryn had betrayed Nova and now all i wanted to do was get back at him for hurting my best friend. She deserves better. Far better. Far better than someone like him or me.. i love her as a friend and as of now.. something more.. But the urge to protect her runs deep inside of me.

Shes my pack. Not just part of the pack but my wolf sees her as his pack.

Taking the items with me, i shifted back to skin and tied them to my ankle with some rope i found at the campsite before making the journey back home. It took me forever..

As soon as I came back, i took them to my room and hid them. Grace asked if i had found anything and i told her i did but i needed to decide what to do with it. I had agreed to help her spy on Z because i didnt want Nova hurt. I just wanted her to see me in a new light and i wanted Zaryn to hurry up and mark Grace... get him out of Nova's life. Grace would be happy... and so would i. I would reject my mate for Nova. Any day of the week. I don't care what people say... there is no way i would love someone more than i love Nova.

The night of the welcoming bbq was the nigjt i met Anita for the first time. I didnt like that wolf.. she seemed more witch than wolf. Her creepy black eyes kept staring at me.. when Grace told her i had been helping her and that i was Zaryn's brother, she seemed delighted.. offered me to come inside their new cabin they now shared.. and gave me a delicious drink she made herself. Then she started asking me questions.. personal ones.. but i felt like i couldn't lie to her.. so i told her the truth.

She insisted that Nova deserved me.. that i deserved her.. and i believed her. She asked me if i had found anything that would help keep Nova away from Zaryn and i told her about what i had found at the camp site. I couldn't lie no matter how badly i wanted to.. it was as if she had control over me.. i wound up delivering the items to her per her request and she rewarded me with another drink... some special alcohol she made herself.

After i drank it.. i felt so alive.. but Nova was on my mind heavily. I sought her out... finding her at the party that Eden had thrown. She looked so amazing. Wearing tight short shorts that made her legs seem a mile long.. i kept giving her shots.. wanting her to loosen up. Then i took her out to the hot springs. She was so beautiful and she seemed so uncomfortable around me but the alcohol was taking affect in her. I wound up using that to my advantage and sat her on my lap.. i began feeling guilty because she was clearly out of it but when i began stroking her thighs and she didnt stop me.. i took it a step forward and rubbed her before i put my fingers inside of her, giving her a release. Something inside me was telling me to take her.. when i turned her around in my lap and kissed her lips, i took her panties off of her.. ready to put myself inside of her but she wasn't there... it was as if she was overly intoxicated, her head bobbing to the side. That's when she told me.. slurring her words.. that she felt like she was going to pass out. Resigning, i gave up.. i couldn't do this to her no matter how much something inside me was telling me to go for it. I got her out of the water and placed her on the stone. She told me she had taken a xanax from her mom and it angered me. Thats why she was incoherent and i felt so guilty for what i had done...

Especially when the next day at breakfast she didnt remember a thing. I wont tell her.. i cant. Then Grace came in with the garnment I had given to her aunt.. she embarassed Nova in front of everyone and it took all my effort to not rip her throat out.

But something inside the pack had changed. They were all on Nova's side. They even held Z back. He stands no chance against the pack when it comes to Nova. They love her. And it came out of nowhere..

Something inside me is changing too.. i feel... almost loyal to Grace's aunt.. i dont know how to explain it. She kissed me that night.. and i didn't want it but it felt.. i dont know. I felt like i was doing something she liked. She was proud of me.. i like it when Anita is proud of me.

I don't know what's happening to me.

I glared at the page as i read the last sentence.. fury sweeping through me...my wolf wanting his blood. He touched my mate.. touched her without her sober and willing concent.. then come to find out he has been working with Grace and now her aunt this entire time....

I was going to kill him.