30. Gracie

Grace

I couldn't help this feeling inside of me... my wolf hating me. Being on oposite ends of a spectrum of black and white..

But we were carrying a pup inside of us.. one that belonged to someone other than our mate. My wolf had become maternal.. but she was angry at me... taking our mate away from us..

Nic is our mate..

"Grace. Are you alright?" Aunt Anita's sharp voice, soft with concern for me brought me out of my reverie. I peered up at her dark eyes as they lingered over my swollen stomach, i couldn't hide it anymore. My stomach was too large now. My broken arm resting in the sling, hurt less now.. the pup inside me speeding up the healing.

"I'm fine aunt anita." My tone let her know i really wasn't as she eyed me skeptically.

I kept my gaze on the crackling fire, watching the embers float upwards toward the chimney... wishing my life could be different as i rocked back and forth in the cozy den of our cabin.

"Its for the best sweetheart. Trust me. You're doing the right thing." She smiled down at me, a hand brushing over mine reassuringly.

Aunt Anita was constantly trying to coax me into helping me feel better about everything.. she wanted the best for me but I wasnt the only one who benefited from everything that has transpired. I watched as she walked back to the kitchen table which was covered with open books, taking the pestal in her hand as she ground more herbs into the morter... humming a tune my mother, her sister, had sung to me as a pup.

Aunt Anita had always had many gifts from the moon.. she was always the most beautiful of all the wolves and had many admirers in her life.. but she never took a mate so that she could continue with her life's work.. using her gifts to better other's lives. Somehow though, she ended up in that darker area of the spectrum with her methods.. her once bright hazel eyes turned a dark deep almost black colored brown long ago once she gave up working in the moon goddesses favor.

She wanted me to believe this was all for the best.. what I was going through...

Somehow i had to disagree.

I didnt want to be this wolf.. this wolf that takes other females mates.. one who does disgusting things like that which caused me to get my arm broken. That isnt me.

A knock at the polished wooden door brought me out of my reverie as Aunt Anita smirked, placing her mortar and pestal down as she waltzed over, opening the door to reveal a familiar wolf, his face holding a blank stare.

"Ahh if it isn't my favorite soldier. Come on in sweetheart." Aunt Anita winked at me, ushering the dazed and confused wolf inside. I rolled my eyes,  she had gone too far this time.

I couldnt be here for this.. this was all too much. So many wolves were hurting at the expense of myself. I hated myself... getting up slowly out of the old wooden rocker, i made my way to the back bedroom which was mine. Passing all the drying herbs and  flowers as they hung from the rafters on my way, i thought of how deadly most of these would be to a wolf if they were to ingest any of these plants.

The shadow of depression hung low over my head as I entered my room, all done sea foam green and purples. But i had no reason to smile at it.. even though Zaryn made sure i had the things i needed and liked inside of it . I thought of the kiss we shared at the cliffs..  that kiss that held no spark.. no current.. it just... was.

He was my friend.. and now here we are.

Im such a horrible friend..

How could i not know? How could i not see?

When Nova saw us at the cliffs, which was apparently her spot.. Zaryn had spent the first half of our conversation crying to me over her.. i knew he didnt love me. But feeling her there... knowing she hated me so much that she wanted me dead... it hurt inside. Nova was the kind of wolf i would have befriended. But all that has changed.. i just try to stay out of the way now. Aunt Anita was spitting mad when she heard how Nova attacked me because of my taunting her.. i deserved that. Now aunt anita agrees it's best to stay out of her way for now.. shes a strong wolf. A crazy wolf.. doing what she can to hold onto her mate. The wolf side anyway. Her skin side just hates me..

Nothing can happen to my pup.

Looking down, i smiled as i felt movement from inside me. He was kicking.. my alpha pup..

"Mommy will love you no matter what.. one day you will hate me when i tell you the truth.. but i hope you forgive me. I love you." I whispered, tears falling down my cheeks and onto the swollen mass beneath my shirt.

It was then I caught a scent.. a familiar one that made my bones shiver and my skin goose up immediately, sending a pleasureable jolt through me. The pup seemed to kick harder whenever he was near..

"Nic...." i breathed, walking to the back door inside my bedroom that led out to the woods behind our cabin. Nic couldn't seem to stay away.. he was a good wolf. Too good for someone like me.

Listening to my aunt talk to the male in the front room, i quietly opened the back door, sneaking out .. tip toeing out onto the back porch as i shut the door softly. A low whine came from the tree line and I could see Nic's wolf's eyes.. golden orbs.. watching me like he's done for countless nights.

I've felt too guilty to actually talk to him.. the moment i first met him, i wanted to die inside..

"Nic?" My voice whispered, his wolf coming out from the trees, slowly... one paw at a time with careful ease as to not frighten me. I couldn't help the smile on my face... seeing him.

Crackling and shifting, i watched in awe as his huge cobalt grey wolf shifted, skin replacing fur. In the next moment, he sat crouching.. naked.. his head lifting up as mossy green eyes met mine beneath the moon light.

"Hey..." his voice was deep.. sad.. filled with pain but he attempted to smile at me showing no teeth.. a smile that made my knees weak and excitement shiver through my entire body.

"H-hey." I lamely responded, watching his tall muscular body stand to his 6'3 height.. i couldn't help my eyes as they roved over his bare form.. he was such a large wolf. Embarassment flushed my cheeks as he watched me.. visibly shivering under my gaze. Bending behind a tree, he grabbed a pair of shorts that had been placed there and put them on slowly, as i watched and just stood there.. watching me.

He must think im a vile female..

My first encounter with his skin side since my night in the hospital.. where I tried to tell him i didn't... couldn't be with him.. i lied.. i wanted him just as much as i thought he maybe wanted me. Looking down at my belly, i knew there would never be a way...

Unless i had a miscarriage which was still a very big possibility. Aunt Anita was doing everything in her power to prevent that though... that couldn't happen. I had to keep this pup.

My dress swished lightly in the breeze as i walked over to him, barefoot.. into the thick forrest, away from the cabin. His eyes ... so beautiful as they watched me... i could hear the audible intake of air once i stood mere inches in front of him.. giving him a slight smile as i held my nearly healed arm against me in the sling. My eyes moved over his muscled shoulders, memorizing every dent and every bulge as my gaze drifted down to those muscular pecks.. his strong firm eight pack .. the V at his hips that disappeared into the waistband of his shorts.. his forearms so strong that the veins were visibly pulsating.

A ripple occured at his bicep as his hand reached up, brushing a lock of long blonde curls behind my ear. My lips parted in surprise and a need.. a hunger i felt inside me for him engorged my body with the mate pull...

His eyes... i felt like i was the only female in the world when he looked at me like that. But if my father finds out he's my mate... everyone will know the truth about me. I can't let that happen.. though im sure it already has..

"You're so beautiful." His deep whisper made my skin shiver..

To have someone right in front of you.. someone that was made for you.. never being able to have them.. it was like telling a pup that fairy tales dont exist.. that a girl would never be a princess and she would never have a prince charming.

His moonlight lit form began to blur as i felt the tears sting my eyes, building up, feeling them fall down my cheeks as i collapsed in front of him onto the ground, clutching my stomach with my good hand. I wanted to die in this moment.. standing right here in front of my one true love that i could never have. A silent sob wracked my body and soon i could feel him squatting, hovering over me as arms went around me, pulling me into him.

"Hey hey.. shhhh.. im sorry.. i shouldn't come here but i just cant stop my wolf from wanting to be around you.. please don't cry. It breaks my heart to hear you cry." His voice broke, his arms around me giving me pleasure i didnt deserve. I was disgusting...

I wiped my tears fiercely, looking up into his eyes that now shimmered with unshed tears. How could he cry over someone like me?

I never thought i would find my mate so soon.. i never thought the bond was as strong as this.. i thought I could reject my mate and be fine. But i was so wrong.

"You are too good for me.. you shouldn't come here.. you're better than me. You deserve better than me." I sobbed quietly as i bowed my head. His hands never once wavered from the reassuring strokes on my back, coaxing me to relax. He was like a drug to me..

"Dont say that. I know you arent a bad wolf. I can sense that." The huskiness of his saddened tone made me want to die in his arms.. for him to be the one that held me until the moon took me ...

Goddess knows im no good...

"Don't say that. I need you to hate me." I cried, pleading at him with my eyes.

"Never." He whispered, his fingers lightly tilting my chin up to meet his face. His handsome face.. such structured cheek bones.. sharp jaw. I wanted to kiss that jaw. He had such faith in me that i didnt deserve..

My heart hammered inside my chest like it could explode any moment as he leaned in slowly, my eyes wideneing by the second. His lips.. so warm and so soft met mine.. touching only slightly, brushing against mine so delicately in a ghost of a kiss... it stole my breath away. I closed my eyes, giving in to the bliss and pleasure that he was able to give me in this moment as my lips pressed into his. Kissing him back once before pulling away.

I've kissed two males on this day. I'm horrid.

A broken sigh left his lips.. his minty breath warming mine as he leaned back to stare down at me.. confusion and desperation in that face that was specifically made for me..

"Would you ever want me? If i became Alpha someday... would you ever want me? I know you aren't supposed to be mated to me but you are... and i think i know why. But i would work to be that wolf you need. An alpha wolf. By title alone." His words and the expression on his face broke my heart even more.. if he only knew i would have him regardless of his title if things were different...

Closing my eyes, i let the tears stream down my face.. i deserved this. This broken feeling. Taking a shaky breath, "It's a little late for all that now." I rubbed my belly as my eyes found his green ones that were staring down where my hand rested.

His large hand moved toward my stomach, resting on top of my pregnant belly, his other hand gently holding my broken arm before his eyes found mine. "You're still my mate. I wouldn't turn either of you away."

I breathed in sharply, my heart swelling at his words as my gut wrenched, my soul twisting inside of myself as i cried with my head bowed. He was so good! Such a perfect male. He still wanted me even after all i have done.. even after how i did his sister..

What have i done?

"You dont mean that" i croaked, moving his hand away gently. "Im a horrible wolf.. i ruined your family.. i embarassed your own sister.. how could you-"

"You're my mate. I can sense you.. you're not the wolf you act like you are. You aren't like that..  i can tell. I can tell you're sorry about it.. i can see the pain you're in. I want to make it all go away.. to help you. I want you Gracie."

Gracie... oh goddess the way he called me that.. it sent every ounce of pleasure to every nerve ending. This wolf... he would be my undoing. Pregnant by another.. his own best friend yet here he is proclaiming his want for me.

I loved this wolf....

Shaking my head as tears ceased to stop flowing, i rose from the ground as he did the same.. i started to inch away but his large hands rested on my waist, pulling me gently into his arms.. sorrow seeping from his pores as he brought me into his broad naked chest.. muscles against my body.. fitting perfectly against my slender willowy form. His arms locked around my back, face burrying into my neck as I cried. He stood there.. just holding me.. letting me cry as my tears dropped down on his skin, rolling down slopes of muscle. He was much bigger than Zaryn.

I couldnt resist the urge to feel him.. lacing my good arm behind his back, feeling the tight muscles at the small of his back before traveling up.. his skin so smooth against my hand. He relaxed instantly from my touch.

His scent was intoxicating.. pleasing every sense in my body with sight and touch.. his heart beat soothing my ears..

He inhaled deeply one last time, placing a kiss on my temple before he let me go, backing away so I could look up into his eyes.

My skin begged his to come back to me.. the wolf inside my head that had been hidden away since the pregnancy, whining for him.

"Grace." I visibly shook when he spoke my name. "I will wait for you.. i know you have secrets.. I love my sister and I want her happy... but you are my mate and that means something to me. Knowing how it feels to have a mate now..  i know what she is going through. And i will always be her big brother and do whatever i can to help her.. but you need help too. You can trust me. I don't know how you really feel about Zaryn.. if you feel anything at all.. but you don't have to be with him out of pressure. I will care for you. I'll steal the title if that's what it takes. I want you whether the pup makes it or not...  my sister doesn't care about the title, she cares about him... but somehow im sensing you need the title. Please.. just hold on ... let me win that title.. let me be yours. I know I can. Im strong. Just... wait. Don't let him mark you. Please." He slumped down onto his knees, pleading up at me with those big green eyes. Desperately.

I scrunched my eyes close, sobs working over time, his hands holding mine. He knew i had something to hide... and never once did he say a word to anyone. Guilt overwhelmed me in that instant.. this truly good wolf professing his need for me.. for me and a pup that wasn't his...

He acted as a mate was supposed to act. He did love his sister.. loves her greatly.. but wolves.. once they find their mate, unlike humans who stick with blood before anyone, even other males or females...  well wolves do everything they can for their mates. They will walk through hell and high water for their mate... as long as it didn't compromise their family ties, they would do it. And mated wolves who have completed the bond will put their mate before any of their family.. thats just how it went..

If only it was that simple just to wait.. he may have had an inkling as to why we were mated.. be he didnt understand the obstacles and i couldn't tell him.

"I-I need to go." Pressing a hand over my mouth, crying hard, i backed away..

Nic stood, pleading with his eyes for me to say something.. anything..

"I wish things were different." I sniffled. "I wish i didn't have the family i do. I wish i would have met you first... so you could have taken me far away. I would have let you. You break me down so easy.. I do want you Nic.. but.. i.. i just cant. I need to go.." my words were whispered and i felt my heart break.  His heart break as i began to retreat up the stairs.

"Just please Grace. Don't let him mark you yet. Just wait. Because he may not have his rank once im finished. Im sorry... but im challenging him either way. I will be alpha, Grace." His tone was one of surety. He believed he would.. he would do anything to have it ... because it meant something to me.

I looked back over my shoulder but he was gone.. rustling leaves he left in his wake taunted me..

Taking a deep breath, i stepped back inside my room, closing the door with my back as i slid down it.. sitting on the floor, holding my head as i cried in despair.. for him.. for me... for zaryn.. for Nova.. for my Aunt and my father...

All of this is on me.

If he challenges Zaryn for title .. that will be after next year. I would have to have been marked already. I dont know how challenges worked here but in my pack.. the loser has to die.

If i was mated to Zaryn... and Nic killed him for his title.. i would break from the bond and Nic wouldn't have me after I let Zaryn mark me. Everything would be taken away from me.. and my maybe pup.

He couldn't do that...

But.. what if i could wait?

What if i could hold off on being marked?

I could have a chance to be with my mate.. if he won..

But my father wouldn't allow that. Never would he allow me to bear a pup without a mark...

Worry filled me as i wiped my eyes.. i knew Nic wasn't bluffing. The determination in his voice made me believe him with all my heart..

He's too good for me.

I should just meet the moon before i ruin anyone elses lives..

Standing slowly, i decided to go shower.. remove his scent from my body before my Aunt noticed.

As i drug myself toward my ensuite bathroom, suddenly a sharp crippling pain stabbed through my abdomen, shooting me down as i fell to my knees, screaming at the white hot burning sensation. I gripped my stomach with my good hand, eyes going wide, mouth hanging open as I fell to my side.. my throat burning as I screamed louder.. tears running down my temples as the agony rushed through me.

"Grace! Grace what is it!?" My aunt burst through my bedroom door, rushing to me as i lay on the floor, crying out. Her dark eyes assessed me with worry before her face turned stone cold.. a look that would have pups wetting themselves.

All I could make out before everything went black, were her angry words...

"Their bond has been completed on the wolf side. She's marked him..."

Dun dun dun! The plot thickens. Oh what will happen now!? Maybe Grace isnt who we think she is... All of you must be angry at Nic for betraying Nova this way but this is how mates are supposed to act. He loves Nova and now sees she needs to be with Zaryn. I think Nic will work for that..

But... we don't know how the challenges are at this pack. Would Nic saccrifice his sister's happiness and kill her mate for a title to keep his mate happy?

Or do you think this pack does things differently?

Thoughts?

Until next time!

(Next update will be Sunday around 4pm  Central time for the USA.. i live in alabama ;)