Chapter 25: Secrets uncovered

Today marks 2 months of being at the White Household. Parts of it have been joyous others not so much. Plus the rest of the week went by with tension so heavy you could cut it.

I had just finished Part 3: Alabama, when James knocked on my door Saturday and literally got on his knees and begged for my forgiveness. I, of course was so astounded that I immediately forgave him.

I was tired of staring at the same walls so I determined I would go to the crafts room.

When I got there I sat down on the sorta window seat and began to read. Within two minutes of reading I groaned  and slammed shut my book. My mind kept wandering to the emo boy. Donavon was his name. He just made me so mad but also, warm? Do I- do I like him? No, no I can't like him. I like Ian. Wait but if Ian makes me feel warm inside and Donavon makes me feel warm inside then, who do I like?

I shook my head. I can't think about them right now. I need to think about how I got to skip school on Monday and my brothers didn't. My face plastered a smirk onto it. Yeah, yeah that's right. Just think about your brothers.

Hm. Who's my favorite brother? Well although I lov- wait, how do I know I love them? I don't know what love feels like so how could I know if I love them? Am I suppose to feel the same thing I feel towards Ian and Donavon? Here's another reason why I hate Carl and mom. I never knew what love feels like so now I don't know if my brothers love me or I love them.

Jeez I need to stop thinking.

I looked out the window. I wish I could just live a life secluded from society. A life in the woods with a cat or a dog and the person I love with

a kid or two. I sighed, my life will never be like that. I have too much baggage to be able to have that.

My butt was starting to hurt from sitting on the seat so I laid down on the white throw rug. I gazed at the ceiling and started to imagine the life I would've had if mom stayed with my biological dad. I wouldn't have so much pain that's for sure. I would give anything to just have lived my full life here with my brothers. I smiled softly at that. Brothers. The word feels so foreign yet so familiar on my tongue.

I laid there for God knows how long with just my mind wandering. I think I drifted off to sleep because the next thing I knew I heard a hard slap. I immediately jumped up, scared that Carl was going to beat me because I was 'sleeping on the job'. What I saw was two immature boys looking at me, one with mischief written on their face and the other with a 'I'm so done with you' look. Jesse gave a small wave and said "Why hello little sibling. How are you today?"

I chuckled but James glanced at him and said "Dude, she was sleeping so softly and you just had to wake her, didn't you?"

Jesse nodded sheepishly. "Yeah I did."

James took ahold of his face and slapped it. Not hard but enough to make me remember things I never wanted to. I started to hyperventilate. Panic rang through my brain. I looked every which way and saw a bathroom. I high tailed there and shut and locked the door.

Flashes of what Carl did came back in a wave. Memories I buried down kept rising up and peaking through my wall that I tried to hard to make. This is it. Why in the world would I think I could be happy? Tears were streaming down my face as I swallowed back a sob. I scratched and hit myself trying to get his God awful hands off of me.

I remembered that mom used to laugh in entertainment while I was beaten with the belt. Cigarettes. Beer. Gnats. Blood. Glass. Broken.

That's what I am.

Broken.

I sat down and held my knees to my chest. I heard a knock "Hey Lidia? Baby sis are you okay? Do I need to call Luke or Zack?" I heard Jesse say.

I wipes my tears and cleared my throat "No no, it's um, it's alright I'm just," I tried to think of a lie but my head was clouded with thoughts of Carl and mom. Wait- that's it! I continued to speak, "Jesse I just really, really miss mom. The way you woke me up reminded me of her and I just kinda broke down." I said through the door.

"Oh uh okay. Are you sure you're fine?" I hummed through the door, "Okay then. Well me and James will be outside if you need anything."

"Okay!" I called out.

That was close. I need to be more careful. I took a good look at the bathroom in front of me and saw that it looked like a master bathroom in a normal house. The door I was leaning on was white and the walls around it are a sky blue, just like the crafts room. Huh. I never really got a good look at the crafts room. It was a sky blue with paintings by professional people and some pictures drawn by my brothers when they were little. It had a white throw rug on the floor.

I sighed, I have to get off this floor at some point. I got up and walked towards the sink and splashed cold water on my face. My makeup is ruined. Mascara running down my face. I looked like a little kid when they smear their face paint.

I unlocked the door and went to the only other place where no one can see me, the theater room. I sat down in one of the chairs  and pressed play on the remote. I clicked on a Netflix show I haven't watched yet, The deep. Seems like a good show. I pressed play and fell in love instantly.

After binging five episodes my eyes started to hurt. I realized once I stood up and stretched that I was hungry. Definitely a new feeling.

Deciding against eating since I would probably have a big dinner, I wandered the halls of my home. I ventured into halls I had never seen before. They were tan like the rest of the house.

Slowly with my hand dragging on the walls I elegantly strolled the hallway. A small smile adoring my face as I stopped at a T intersection. Hm which way? Right or left? Right always was right after all.

I chose the right path and walked down that hallway. I looked from one wall back to the other. My hand was gliding across the walls like a bulldozer smoothing out dirt. I felt a little lump where there shouldn't be and decided to check it out and seen if my brothers need to know about it. They didn't.

I inspected it and eventually I clicked it. A sliding iron door painted the color of the other walls slid to the side allowing me access. I cautiously stepped inside and looked around. There was a Chinese take out order laying half empty on the counter of a computer screen. I moved closer and saw a horrific sight. The computer screen held a picture of a tan, bloody Italian man with one  of his eyes plucked out and several fingers were chopped off.

Anyone who's normal would've screamed and ran off but not me. I stared at the screen with my eyes bulged open and didn't scream. I have it installed in my brain that if I scream I get in serious trouble. My legs started to shake whilst I stood there.

Just when I was having a normal life this had to happen.

After a few seconds it clicked in my brain.

My brothers are in the mafia.

Ooooooo. She finally knows! What do you think about this chapter? Fun fact: this was supposed to be chapter 24 but obviously it didn't happen. I hope you like it and don't forget to vote, comment and obviously like :)