Part 55 | Home feels like you - 1

NAIRA

Arms wrap around me, pulling me into a hard chest as I sobbed.

" Shss.... It's okay. I got you." He shush, rocking me back and forth.

" I failed them, Dhruv. " My body racked as I cry with hiccups, clinging to his shirt.

" No, Naira... You didn't. " His voice cracks, as he held my vulnerable self closer to his body. " You are so brave. "

I jerk his hands, peeling myself away from him. Concern etches on his face. " I'm not brave. I'm a c-coward. "

" I am the sole reason for all the mishap my family had to go through.

Dad could have been arrested, the company could have gone bankrupt, Kartik and Rudy's career would have been in stake.... And the baby.

Instead of being happy about my pregnancy, I am blatantly avoiding the topic so as to escape the reality. What kind of a mother does that! " I rant in a single breath.

" Naira, you are just scared and that's because you care for your baby.

It's totally fine to be scared. Infact everyday as a Parent new fears will be unlocked. But we learn to deal with it. Every parent go through this.

Trust me, At the end of the day When you hold your kid, nothing else really matters. "

" So do you mean to say, fear makes us perfect parents? " He chuckled amused, at my statement.

" Naira... There's no way to be a perfect Parent for it doesn't exist, but a million ways to be a good one. That's the goal. To make best of your imperfections and enjoy the process. To grow with your kids. To love them, To be there for them. "

Dhruv shifts so that he's beside me now. He points at a couple playing with a little girl and asks, " Do you see them? "

I hum in response.

" That couple were trying to conceive for about 10 years, before they adopted Jenny, who we found abandoned as a 6 month old. She is 3 years old now and her perfect family drawing is complete.

It's weird how life works, isn't it? "

I watch their happy faces, Jenny giggling in her father's arms as her mother tickled her. The trio look happy in their own world.

" I didn't know I was pregnant when I was in the warehouse. Had something happened, I could have lost - " I swallow hard my words. Even the mere thought send chills down my spine.

Dhruv pressed my hand, reassuring me. " After What happened, your fears are completely justified Naira.

But Being afraid doesn't make you weak!

You aren't alone in this. We have got your back and Kartik.... He's never gonna leave you, even if you push him away. If not he wouldn't have called me and asked me to check on you. "

I glanced at him through my glossy eyes.

He looks at me with empathy, "For once Keep your fears aside and think. Aren't you happy about your pregnancy? Do you really want to give this up? "

A quick tear trickle down my eyes.

I have always dreamt of my happy family, why in hell will I not be happy having a baby with the man I love!

My hands curl around my stomach and I look down at my right palm pressed over my abdomen. " I want this baby. " A whispery confession.

Dhruv smiles softly, caressing my hair. " I know. "

I drop my head to his shoulder, staring at the memorial stone.

" It wasn't your fault, Naira. " He mutters after a while, " Nothing was your fault. I'm sorry we weren't able to reach you sooner. " Guilt evident in his words.

Pulling my head back, I met his gaze. " You fired a freaking gun to save your husband, that's nothing close to being a coward.

You are so strong, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise." My lips tug upwards in a genuine smile.

I throw my arms around his shoulders and he leans forward, reciprocating my hug. " I'm sure they are proud of their daughter. " he whispered in my ear.

Words won't be enough to tell how incredibly grateful I am, to have a brother-figure like him in my life.

I say nothing, but snuggle more into his chest.

After a few good seconds we pulled back, " Now, Can I take you home? I forgot my jacket and it's pretty cold. " He says rubbing his palms together. I nod, getting on my feet.

I glance at the Memorial stone for one last time before leaving. This time with a smile.

" By the way how did you find me? " I question him as we walked out of the lawn.

" That wasn't hard. I know all your hideouts. " He shrugs his shoulders with a smug smile. " Now you know why You always lose to me in hide and seek. Cause I am wiser than you. "

I roll my eyes at him lazily,  " Whatever! "

" I have a question though. How do you girls manage to get a glow after crying. Like how! Does it even happen to men?" He questions.

" Seriously Dhruv! " I gave him an incredulous look and we broke into laughter as he drove me back to the mansion.

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" Rudy, Where's your brother? "

Without Lifting his eyes off the football game for even a fraction of second, he replied " Guess he's in the Terraceee.... Woah!!! On your face Punk!"

Rudra jumped on his feet, yelling enthusiastically. I shook my head hopelessly watching him struggle to grab his snacks from the side table. If only he could move his eyes off the screen!

" Here!" I grab the tub of popcorn and place it on his hands.

" Don't rip off the cushion like last time. This one's my favourite. " I warn, ascending the stairs.

Rudra gave me a quick gleeful smile before focusing on the screen, " I'll try, beautiful. "

I made my way to the rooftop and There he was.

In a plain blue t-shirt paired with a track pant, leaning on the ledge looking down at the streets, lost in his thoughts.

My heart starts to race, I rub my sweaty palms on the fabric of my pant. I suck in several deep breaths and try to calm myself.

The night was still young, and the moon had taken a beautiful crescent shape. I crept towards him with small steps and slowly wrap my arm around his waist. His body stiffens for a moment before relaxing.

I drop a kiss on the nape of his neck before pressing my face to his back.

" Are you mad at me? "

Ofcourse he is.

" You have every reason to be. I acted like an Idiot. I shouldn't have said all that... " I mumble quietly.

Kartik just stood stoically and so I continued.

" When Raghav held a knife to your waist, It scared the shit out of me. All I could think was how I'm ruining your life. If not for me, Malhotra wouldn't have come after dad, you or the business. The thought of something happening to you hurts but when I'm the reason, It kills me Kartik.

I know it doesn't justify my behaviour. But I am truly sorry. Forgive me, babe. "

Stupid.

I can't believe I behaved like a certified nutcase.

I panicked and pushed him away, despite knowing I need him and only him.

What was I even thinking!

His knuckles turned white around the railing.

" Why did you go to the court, even after I warned you not to. "

Oh boy! How did he know. I didn't see that coming.

" I-I.... " My voice trails away.

A tired sigh escapes his lips.

Kartik slowly ripped my hands from his waist, refusing to meet my eyes, his jaw clenched as he stares into the distance.

" You should go, Naira. You haven't recovered yet, you need to rest. Just go. " His voice so gentle that it actually hurts.

Him screaming at me instead, would have been a lot better!

" I'm not l-leaving you. "

" I just wanna be alone. " He mumbles lowly, leaning more into the ledge.

The breeze brush past my skin, but unlike everytime it wasn't comforting.

It was cold. Punishing.

And I hate it because he wouldn't pull me close and cocoon me within that long brown jacket of his.

I hate it because there's no bonfire and we aren't dancing hand in hand.

" I went to the court, hoping I could show him some compassion. That's the reason. " My words caught his attention. Kartik turns around and grips the ledge behind him with both his hands.

His eyes caught mine for the first time in the day.

Those hazel orbs, beautiful as ever, lacked life in them.

And that's on me.

" I felt sorry for him. To have your own father abandon you, consider you a mistake. To watch your mother commit suicide and to grow up watching your dad with a family you are deprived of. And to go through all this alone as a kid! " I quickly brush the lone tear that rolled down my cheek.

I know I'm not supposed to feel like this but I can't help.

If we are slaves of our circumstances, then do we really have a choice to make?

Is an eye for an eye, really a solution?

My vision begins to haze. " I know you don't get me. I don't either. Despite knowing he killed my parents, I went to see him, for one last time so I can forgive him and move on.

And I hoped.... that it would make me feel better and hurt a little less." I choked on my tears, " But It was horrible. "

I let my guard down and release the weight of my emotions.

The next instant I'm pulled into his chest and I let my tears spring free.

" It was h-horrible" I whimper loud in agony, both my hands folded in front of me, resting on his chest.

Kartik cradles me in his arms, trying to calm my sobs. He didn't say anything, just held me close. But It was more than enough to soothe my wound.

By this point, I was an emotional wreck.

The hardest part is to forgive someone who isn't sorry. It feels like you take the knife out of your back and there's this intense want, to plunge the dagger into their skull. But then, you drop it to the ground and walk away.

Even though you're hurt and the pain is excruciating, you don't seek revenge.

You make a choice to raise above and be a better person.

It's never easy and perhaps that's why they say, forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

I forgave Malhotra but that doesn't mean I am okay with what he did to my parents. I forgave him for me, not because he deserves it. He wrecked my past but I won't allow him sabotage my future. I'm leaving it all behind.

I'm putting an end to this, for once and all.

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Part 2

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The end of the emotional roller coaster is here.

Give this chapter a quick 100

I'll see you in a couple of hours.

Oo.. quick ques! How many expected Kartik to find Naira instead of Dhruv!?

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