16 - The day i met you

Since I was born, I have been blessed with many advantages.

People always say that I am a genius child. The ability to solve all problems, the ability to learn various things easily, the ability to empathize deeply—these are all gifts I have possessed since birth.

Everyone is always amazed whenever they see my talent. The high expectations they place on me, made me want to constantly improve and fulfill all their hopes.

Six years ago— inside the classroom of Shinrai elementary school.

Just like the previous times, I scored a hundred in all subjects on this exam.

"Ueda-san, congratulations. Once again, you've ranked first in the entire class."

"Waaa..!" Upon hearing the announcement from the teacher, the other children immediately clapped enthusiastically.

"Just as expected from Yuichi-kun!"

"Yuichi-kun, I hope you can teach me for the next exam."

I received various compliments like water flowing endlessly; I had worked hard, so I should be proud of the results I achieved.

I felt happy when I saw people starting to rely on and trust me because of that.

Even though the learning process was not easy, even sacrificing my break time, the results and praise I received, always kept me from that one sentence, or so called, "give up."

I didn't want to disappoint those, who had high expectations of me.

***

"Mom! Look! I got a hundred again on this exam!" I said enthusiastically, proudly showing her my test paper.

"Oh? Is that so? Good," she replied coldly. The person I called "mom" didn't even glance at my test paper, nor did she give me even the smallest compliment or attention.

I just stared at her blankly. Her response was so cold. Her praise felt insincere. Her eyes were more focused on the book she was reading than on me, her son.

"Mom..." I called weakly.

"Be quiet. Don't disturb my focus."

I gripped the hem of my clothing tightly, looking down as my eyes started to well up. How could she be so cold?

Like other children, I also needed attention and support from a mother figure.

I was curious about what it felt like to receive a reward after passing an exam.

Other kids always seemed happy even if they didn't achieve such high rankings; smiles were always on their faces, as well as on their parents' faces. Honestly, it made me jealous.

So, why was my mother different?

I tightened my grip on my clothing. But I knew— I must not cry.

I had to be strong... I couldn't let this temporary emotion take over me. If I did, I would ruin the "perfect" image of myself that those who placed their hopes on me imagined.

I should leave before this feeling worsened.

"Mom, I'm going out for a bit to play."

"Hm.. Okay." My mother didn't even look at me when she answered, it felt like she just answered randomly.

Once I received her approval, I immediately headed to the nearest playground. I didn't forget to bring a book. I had to study harder to maintain my ranking.

I sat on one of the swings there, watching kids my age happily playing soccer.

Ugh.. I couldn't focus— they were too noisy.

I might have thought at that moment that the reason I couldn't focus on studying was a combination of various more complex reasons, like my recent sadness and the noise from the kids playing.

However— in reality, it was nothing more than jealousy.

I didn't want to admit it, but that was the truth.

I closed the book I was reading. Then I stared blankly at the children playing soccer.

"It must be nice," those words slipped out of my mouth without me realizing it.

Because all this time I had been too focused on studying, I ended up without any close friends.

Even though my name was always displayed on the ranking board in front of the school, I still felt like an invisible person.

Besides that, my high empathetic ability allowed me to see deep inside everyone. I could easily guess when someone was lying. Because of that, people often felt uncomfortable being near me.

Seeing other people's emotions and even guessing someone's goodness or badness, just by looking at their face.

Maybe someone would call me an "superficial person", but the truth is, my guesses were almost never wrong.

Is the ability I have a blessing? Or a curse? I couldn't tell the difference. Honestly, I always wished I had been born normal.

Like everyone else, I wanted to feel happy about little things, even if they weren't significant. Having caring parents. Making friends with someone trustworthy. I longed for that.

Indeed, the attention and expectations I received from others because of my talent made me who I am now.

But it burdened me.

I sighed.

"What am I thinking... I better get back to studying, or else.. Maybe I'll disappoint their expectations."

I have to work harder.

***

"Ueda-san..." The teacher called out nervously. Seeing her strange reaction made me feel a bit anxious.

"In this exam.. you ranked twelfth."

"Eh?"

I felt like a needle had pierced my heart. That statement shocked me greatly.

What went wrong? Was it because I wasn't focused? Or lacked sleep? Was it because I had too many thoughts lately?

Various guesses kept running through my mind; I couldn't help but feel shocked and worried.

The entire class immediately filled with whispers from many children, merging into one.

The expectations people had placed on me... I had shattered them.

My breath slowly became shallow, accompanied by my racing heartbeat. While my eyes started to feel watery. I wanted to cry. However, I had to hold on as hard as I could, at least, not here.

I didn't want to show my weak side to them.

***

One month later.

I realized that the effect of "one" failure I had experienced felt so swift. My friends began to distance themselves, as soon as they realized I had become "someone not so smart" in their eyes.

The kids who usually relied on me for group work, immediately chose the new rank one as their partner.

"Um.. Can I join?" I approached my old friends. They were talking about a game I played, so.. I felt a bit interested in joining their conversation.

"Ah.." The boy's reaction looked confused and awkward. "Sorry, but it seems like there are too many people already..."

"Huh..?"

I didn't understand his answer. But I just wanted to join the conversation... What did he mean by "too many people"?

If I wasn't allowed to talk because of that, I could just stay silent and listen, right? Why was that not allowed?

Slowly, they started to sound like my mother. That cold response and indifferent gaze...

"Okay... Sorry if I'm disturbing." I left them, realizing that my presence there was just a mere "nuisance."

I sat on the swing, my favorite spot to be alone. However, the difference was, this time I didn't bring a book.

Time kept passing. The people who usually praised and paid attention to me slowly disappeared one by one.

Meanwhile, the kids who once felt awkward around me now truly regarded me as an invisible person.

This affected many aspects of my life. I lost my self-confidence and my motivation to study.

Now I began to understand what was the means of "value" in a person. If you couldn't prove yourself, people would consider you nonexistent.

Humans always see each other in terms of how beneficial it is for them to have that person nearby.

If you are valuable and seen as useful, you will be considered a friend. Conversely, if you are seen as worthless, you will be avoided.

Humans are selfish; I know that. This was my fault for expecting too much from them.

If only I hadn't hoped in the first place, perhaps I would never feel this sad.

This— was all my fault...

A drop of water began to trickle down from my eye. All this time, I had tried to strengthen myself and struggled not to show my weakness in front of others.

But just for once— i wanted to lean on someone.

"Hey! You..."

Hearing someone call me, I quickly wiped away all my tears from my face.

A boy appeared from a distance, approaching me with a clumsy demeanor. "Your name is Ueda Yuichi, right?" His face was a bit flushed, and his habit of scratching his head when embarrassed or confused reminded me of someone...

Even though I wasn't very close to him, his unique name and behavior made it easy for me to recognize him.

Nagi Nagi.

That was our first meeting.

TO BE CONTINUED.