9 - I have to live as a girl now

After pulling Nagi into the clothing store, I was immediately greeted by a variety of neatly arranged clothes.

Moreover, as I looked deeper into the store, I noticed a lot of mannequins dressed in different styles and types of clothing.

I swallowed hard.

Additionally, the design of this store looked quite intricate, yet luxurious at the same time. I started to doubt that the clothes here were only priced in the thousands of yen.

I could have used the card Akane gave me for shopping, but—

"Let’s just leave, Nagi..."

I gripped Nagi's hand tighter, then gently pulled him as I slowly walked towards the store's exit.

"Ah, excuse me, customer!"

"—!?"

I immediately started sweating nervously when I heard a voice calling from behind me.

Did she realize we were trying to leave?

I planned to ignore it and walk out without responding. But... suddenly Nagi stopped in his tracks and turned around.

Na-Nagi?!

"Good afternoon, miss," Nagi said, bowing his head slightly. "Is there something you need?"

I squeezed Nagi's hand tightly. "Why are you answering, you idiot?" I whispered.

"Well, I feel bad for the cashier. Besides, we're already here, right?"

The store clerk sighed in relief after catching Nagi's attention. "Oh... there's nothing wrong. I just felt a bit happy seeing a customer come into our store."

"It's been so long since we've had anyone visit. I don't even know why. Our clothes aren't that expensive, you know?" the clerk continued.

Why did she say "not that expensive"? Doesn’t that mean they're still pricey..?

"Um... Yeah... we were just looking aroun—"

Before I could finish my sentence, the clerk grabbed one of the displayed outfits and held it up to my body.

"Look. Doesn't it suit you?"

How is the size so perfect?!

"It's only 7,400 yen. If you're looking for casual wear, the price might be even lower. Would you be interested in buying it?" Hearing the store clerk’s explanation, I was shocked to find out the actual price.

I wouldn't call it cheap, but... considering the design of the clothes and the store’s luxurious scale... I guess it's reasonable.

Really?

"We can talk about this... May I see more clothes?" I started to feel a bit intrigued by the offer, considering I lacked female clothing, so maybe this wasn't a bad decision.

The store clerk's expression immediately brightened after seeing my reaction.

"Of course! Please, follow me!"

***

She led us further into the store, showing us the variety of clothes on display. The clerk spoke nonstop, eagerly explaining each outfit with enthusiasm.

"Ah! As for this one—oh, sorry. Am I talking too much?"

I did feel that way. But seeing her so enthusiastic... I hesitated to say yes.

I shook my head slightly. "No, not at all."

"I see, I was worried I might make you uncomfortable. Oh, by the way, I haven't introduced myself yet, have I? My name is Akasaka Hana. You guys seem around my age, nice to meet you!"

"I'm Ueda Yuichi, nice to meet you."

"And I'm Nagi Nagi."

"Ueda-san and Nagi-san..? For some reason, those names sound familiar..."

"Ah... Never mind. Let's keep looking around. If there's an outfit you like or if you want to ask about anything, just let me know, okay?" I nodded in response to Hana’s words.

I guess Hana is the energetic type, like Akane, although they’re a little different.

Akane usually acts graceful and only speaks when necessary in front of others, showing her lively side only to me and Nagi.

Meanwhile, Hana is the type of person who freely shows her personality to others. If the two were in the same place... I can't imagine how chaotic and noisy it would be...

I walked while slightly leaning forward. "Um, can I call you... Hana-san?" I asked.

"Oh, of course."

"In that case... Could Hana-san pick an outfit for me?" I asked with a shy smile.

***

I entered one of the fitting rooms in the store. After hearing my request, Hana quickly rushed to find the perfect outfit for me. But, after she handed it to me, I was left confused.

I stared at myself in the mirror, seeing my beautiful short hair, long lashes, and small, pretty face.

I've always thought about it.

Over the past few days, I had constantly denied it. But, sooner or later, I would have to accept the reality that my gender had changed, and my attraction to women had completely vanished.

I am a girl now.

As long as there's no way for me to go back...

Then—I have to live my life as a woman.

For some reason, my heart started to ache at the thought.

Imagining that I would have to act graceful every day, always maintaining my demeanor and behavior... It sounded utterly exhausting.

Moreover, there were so many things I could no longer do that I used to when I was still a boy.

I used to complain a lot about how only men had to do the hard labor.

But, now that I'm a girl, I kind of miss the times when I hadn’t yet changed gender...

You don’t think much when you're a guy. You can act freely without worrying about appearance or rigid social expectations.

Ah! I remember when I was a kid, the first time I read a harem novel. I screamed enthusiastically at Nagi, saying that one day I would create a harem just like in the story and show it off to him.

But look at me now? It’s Nagi who's ended up creating a harem.

That brat should've been the one who got a gender change.

...

Even so, I’m still happy to have Nagi and Akane by my side, and I hope it stays that way forever.

Maybe, when the time is right, I’ll tell Akane about my gender change.

But what I have to deal with now—

Thump-thump.

Is this strange feeling I have toward Nagi...

I swear, for the rest of my life, I will NEVER admit that this is love.

***

I slowly pulled open the curtain from the fitting room, catching a glimpse of Nagi outside, waiting patiently.

"Nagi... Sorry for the wait."

"Huh? You didn't change clothes? Didn’t Hana-san give you an outfit?" Nagi asked, confused.

"NO. And why would I show it to you?"

"You're stingy! I waited here just to see you wear it," Nagi protested.

"That’s your problem."

"Come on, let's go to the cashier. There’s still a lot more I need to buy," I said while pulling Nagi's hand.

***

After picking out several clothes I needed, I went to the cashier. I only took a lot of casual wear to make sure the total wouldn't be too high.

I glanced at the black card Akane had given me earlier.

Ugh...

I stuffed the card back into my wallet. Even though it was tempting, I didn’t feel like using it.

I could have used it, especially knowing Akane comes from a wealthy family; this small amount of money wouldn’t be a burden for her.

But—

Akane often confided in me about her issues with her old friends from middle school.

Most of them just tried to take advantage of her to boost their popularity and even asked for money. Don’t they have any shame?

I don’t want to look like someone who would exploit a friend, especially after everything that's happened. Besides, we’ve only just reconnected after several years.

Besides, I don’t have any right to that money.

We have somewhat similar pasts, so I can understand a little of what Akane feels.

I sighed.

I pulled out my own debit card from my wallet and used it to pay for all my purchases.

All of my savings...

TO BE CONTINUED.