Dance with Death

SYN

Anger.

Pain.

Sadness.

Him.

It was all because of him.

This lowly creature kneeling at my feet, knowing that surrender to me was inevitable.

Good.

He knew his place.

He did not defend himself as my claws clipped the side of his head, knocking him to his side.

I raked my claws down his back, the skin beneath my paws tearing open, coating my fur in sticky red liquid.

He would pay for this. His death would fix this. He could heal me.

I needed him to heal me.

I needed him.

I paused, my forepaws pressing down heavily on his back. He made no sound, never uttered a scream or a cry, as I mauled him.

I buried my snout in his neck, smelling him and scenting myself entwined within him.

Mine. He was mine.

I struggled between the urge to sink my jaws into his throat and end his life, the creator of my suffering, and to lick his wounds clean, to nuzzle into his warmth.

I breathed heavily, my chest rising and falling, my claws curling and uncurling on the male.

My male.

Mine.

No.

Not mine.

Someone else’s.

Betrayed me.

Hurt me.

I snarled, my rage resurfacing.

~Kill him!~

My jaws lowered again, but instead of clamping down, my wet nose pressed against his neck, trying to smell him again but losing his scent in the overwhelming iron tang of blood.

My bones cracked and my muscles shifted as my body shrank into my hairless form. My snout turned to lips that were pressed against the warm flesh beneath me.

Warm flesh that was losing color rapidly.

He was losing a lot of blood. He could die from it.

Lune would decide. My Goddess would kill him or save him. I would do nothing.

I turned to leave but was unable to pull away completely.

Huffing, I picked up the male.

I guess this form had some uses after all.

My territory was compromised. I would have to find somewhere new.

Forest Kingdom.

Yes, that was where I would go.

***

I dumped the body on the ground inside the interrogation cave.

I had been here before, had used this cave during the lycan wars.

I sat against the cave wall, looking at the unconscious body covered in blood and filth.

I waited.

And waited.

Waited for him to die.

For this pain to leave me.

He woke, stared back at me wordlessly, motionless, and then went back to sleep. This was repeated several times. He never spoke and neither did I. We just watched, watched and waited for something.

After he had fallen asleep again, closing bleary eyes that couldn’t focus for too long, I hesitantly shifted closer to him.

I crouched next to him and pushed on his cheek with my finger.

His skin was soft, and I found that I liked touching it. So I let the pad of my finger run up and down his cheekbone, then up across his brow and down his nose, around his eyes, on his lips, tracing everything.

He did not stir, but he did not look relaxed. Even while asleep, his expression was pinched and strained. One of pain.

Pain.

I was in pain.

I moved my hand, placing it over my chest. This was where I hurt the most. Here. This was where I felt pain.

My eyes slid to the male laying prone, his gruesome wounds on full display.

His fault. It was his fault I felt this way.

I retreated back to my corner and watched from a distance.

If he was meant to live, Lune would save him.

If not, then he would die.

I didn’t leave the cave. Not when day turned to night and night turned to day and then night again.

The male woke up several more times, unable to resist groaning in pain now.

The rancid smell of rot tickled my nose. I could smell it coming from his wounds. Infection was setting in. He was radiating heat, another bad sign.

A high fever could kill him, considering the state he was in.

I still did nothing.

I just watched.

And I waited.

He was dying.

I knew it. He knew it. The gods knew it.

Those hazel eyes opened, eyelids fluttering in his effort to lift them. I knew this would be the last time they would do so. He was at the end of the line, and he would be forced to let go soon.

Those piercing eyes aimed straight at me, locking gazes.

I bristled, instincts rearing at the challenge before calming when I saw he held no authority. Just sadness.

Why was he so sad?

I didn’t like him sad.

I didn’t want the last time we locked eyes to be like this. I didn’t want him to be sad.

His hand twitched. He lifted the appendage that hadn’t moved in days.

He could hardly get his arm off the ground as he reached for me, pushing out three words from his lungs. “I am sorry.”

I knew what they meant.

It was an apology. For this. To me. And a goodbye.

The pain in my chest lessened slightly.

My hand pressed against that spot over my heart. I looked down as if expecting to see the cause of the shift.

He had said those words, and now I felt like this.

My eyes snapped back over to the male, and I felt panic in seeing his arm outstretched, fingers slightly curled, as it lay dead on the ground.

Those hazel eyes were closed, and his breathing was so shallow that his chest didn’t appear to be moving any longer.

I sprang to my feet and darted over to his side.

Alive.

Mine.

Couldn’t go.

I shook his body harshly, but his head only lolled from one side to the other. Those eyes did not open again.

“No go.” My tongue lifted strangely in my mouth to make these sounds to express what I was feeling inside.

“No go,” I said again, slashing a sharp nail across my wrist and forcing my skin to his pale lips. The light pink of his lips was soon stained crimson.

When I felt a wet, warm tongue touch my wrist, I pulled it away.

I found bandages and healing supplies in the cave.

I washed his body clean of dirt and blood.

I sterilized a blade by heating it over the fire and cut out the infection on his back before cauterizing the long gashes that marred his skin from his shoulders to the small of his back.

I dressed his wounds and bandaged his head. Three sharp lines dragged across the left side of his scalp, starting at the corner of his eye and ending in line with the shell of his ear.

I gave him water every time he awoke.

Alive. Good. He was still alive.

But the fever worsened, and his shivers increased tenfold. All of the blankets I had piled on him seemed to serve no purpose.

So I cast those blankets aside and crawled up to him, pulling his back into my chest. Wrapping him in my own warmth felt so right.

But then water started leaking from his eyes.