Chapter Twelve

I wake up to the ungodly sound of the generic iPhone alarm. Letting out a muffled groan, I try to melt deeper into the sheets. There's a shift on the bed next to me and the ringing meets its end.

"Come on," whispers Christian as he lightly nudges my shoulder.

Ignoring him, I attempt to pull the sheet over my head. Before I can do this, he grabs the comforter and throws it off of the bed. This results in me shooting him a cold glare and him returning it with a cheeky grin.

"What time is it?" I rub my eyes and search for my phone.

While he replies, "Time to go," my phone lights up and reveals that it is now 5:02 in the morning.

I almost collapse onto the bed again, but Christian counter attacks by turning on the lights. The brightness causes me to squint and I currently want nothing more than to punch him in the face. Once my eyes adjust, I see him standing by his closet throwing on a sweater. While he stretches out his arms, his shirt rises slightly, and I try not to get caught up in the sight of his muscular torso.

Still not happy to be up this early, I rip open my bag and begin to pull on a pair of sweatpants. While my head is down looking for my own sweater, something flies across the room and whacks me in the head.

I almost begin to yell at him, but catch myself when I remember that his mom and sister are probably still asleep. I pull the article off of my head and my expression softens when I realize that it's one of his hoodies. Hiding my smile, I slip the black sweater over my head. It smells of Christian and the inside is unbelievably soft. The feeling of it against my bare arms sends ripples down my spine.

At the same moment, we both begin to walk to his bathroom. I raise an eyebrow at him, but don't say anything as we both pick up our toothbrushes. He sticks his tongue out at me and I suppress a smile as we stand next to each other brushing our teeth.

From this point of view, we look like a couple. It's funny how close we've gotten in the short time we've known each other, despite my efforts at doing the exact opposite. Somehow it feels like we know so much about each other, but also nothing at all. He catches my eye in the mirror and I playfully push him over with my hip, going to wash out my mouth.

"This better be worth it," I grumble as I follow him out the door and to his car.

Instead of replying, he lets out a husky laugh and we begin our drive.

The sky is still fairly dark, but I can tell that soon it will be full of blue, yellow, and orange. We drive for about fifteen minutes before pulling up to a parking lot. At the entrance, there is a large wooden sign reading "Mitsky Conservation Area".

The engine cuts off and Christian looks over at me. "It's a little bit of a hike, so bear with me."

"You're lucky it's too late to turn back," I roll my eyes.

When I join him on his side of the car, he grabs ahold of my hand and leads me into a dark thicket of trees. He seems to know where he's going, even in the blanket of night that surrounds us. Every so often, I can hear the rustles of creatures scattering among the bushes.

The smell of earth is strong, and the air feels significantly clearer than what we get closer to the city. We walk along a path for a while, before Christian pulls me to the left.

This would be the perfect place for him to kill me. Since when do I walk through fucking forests with guys I barely know? As we continue to push through the trees, the birds begin to wake up and fill the space with their chirps. I take a deep breath and allow all of my senses to be immersed in the wildlife.

Eventually, the trees begin to appear more sporadic, and we arrive at a little clearing that ends at a cliff. We walk over to the ledge and I take in the scene. Below us is another dense forest and more hills continue into the distance. My heartbeat quickens as I peer over the edge, and I feel Christian squeeze my hand.

I look back, only now noticing that he hasn't let go of my hand once. He flashes me a boyish smile and pulls me to sit down with him. Because of the way we were standing, I find myself sitting between his legs and leaning against his chest.

As if on cue, a breeze blows past us. Christian wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on top of my head. I settle into his embrace, thankful for the extra warmth. The smell of his sweater coupled with his close proximity causes my heart to flutter and I struggle to focus on what is happening in front of me.

"Should be rising soon," he says into my hair. His voice is still raspy from waking up only half an hour ago.

A few minutes of silence pass before a light begins to appear before us. Rising above a hill right in front of us, the sun litters the sky with warm colours. I have never seen anything like it before. Of course, I had watched the sunrise from my room after many sleepless nights, but here, it's different. The view is clear and calming, and more beautiful than anything I'd seen before. This, paired with the two strong arms around me, causes a tear to prick the corner of my eye.

I sniffle and quickly wipe the tear before it falls. This doesn't go unnoticed by Christian, who lightly grasps my chin between his thumb and index finger, pulling my head towards him.

"What's wrong?" His eyebrows knit together as he studies my expression.

It's my self-sabotaging behaviour. No matter how happy I think I am, I know that nothing can last. I'm going to miss out on so much when I'm gone, and now, it devastates me. So far, I have been breezing through the summer, but here, with him, it feels real. For the first time since I started this little list, I'm truly afraid of whether I'm making the right decision. Still, a deeper part of me knows that this can never work.

My thoughts begin to overwhelm me. I softly shake my head, but he doesn't let me go.

"Amaya," he presses. Usually, I hate when people say my full name. My nickname is only one letter off, so how hard could it be to just call me Maya? How does he make my name sound soft and sweet like powdered sugar? It holds so much emotion that I can't begin to fathom.

Finally, I decide on replying simply, "Thank you for bringing me here. It's amazing."

Something flashes through his eyes, only for an instant, but it causes him to release my chin. I shuffle and turn my body slightly to face him.

"Amaya," he says again, reaching up and wiping my cheeks. I don't even realize that I'm crying. "Talk to me, please."

I try to pull away, but he won't let me. Rubbing away the tears that he manages to miss, I say, "I'm fine! Honestly, I don't even know why I'm crying right now."

He ignores my awkward chuckle and leans in to kiss my forehead. His lips are warm and slightly wet, a good contrast from the dry wind that whirls around us. At this, the tears begin to fall harder and I spring out of his grip. I take a few steps and turn my back to him, wiping my tears profusely.

I can hear him standing up, but I don't feel him getting closer.

"Am I doing something wrong?" he asks, his voice just a whisper that gets carried away in the wind.

I shake my head, not daring to face him again. "No, that's not it."

You're doing everything right, you dumbass.

"Then what is it?" His voice is now closer.

"I don't know," I sigh, my red eyes finally having run out of tears. With a bit of honesty, almost inaudibly, I say, "I just get sad sometimes."

Christian whips me around and pulls me into a bone crushing hug. It takes everything in me to not have a complete breakdown on his shoulder. I allow him to hold me for several minutes and I let out a real laugh, signalling that I'm okay.

We sit back down side by side and continue to watch the sun, which is now sitting several degrees higher.

"It really is pretty out here. How'd you find it?" I ask.

A rare genuine smile spreads across his face as he says, "Marissa would take me here a lot when we were younger. Her parents didn't really get along much so as soon as she learned how to drive she would find new spots to escape to. This is my favourite."

"Thank you," I say, again, almost apologetic that he had to share this intimate place with me. All because I was being an emotional brat and he felt the need to comfort me.

God, am I annoying.

Feeling a mood about to come on as a result of my spiraling, I decide not to say anything else until around six, when we're on our way back. After politely declining a breakfast invitation, I ask him to drop me off at my house. I really want to get in before my mother wakes up and I have to deal with her.

When we arrive outside my house, he puts the car in park. I fiddle with the straps on my bag as I think about the past few days. I am completely conflicted about the amount of time I have been spending with this boy.

Suddenly, I realize that my dad thinks that I slept over at Ariel's last night. What is he going to say when I tell him that I'm going back to her's tonight? Christian really fucked that up for me.

I sigh and reach for the door before he stops me, saying, "Forgetting something?"

Looking down at his sweater, I sit back in the seat. I'm about to take it off, offering an apology, "I'm so sorry, I didn't even remember."

"Relax, Maya, I'm joking," When I turn to look at him, he's leaning over the console with his hand on my forearm. "You look better in it than me anyway."

He's close enough that I can still smell the mint on his breath from this morning. I find myself at a loss for words, looking into his platinum eyes. All I can muster up is, "I didn't want to give it back anyway."

All of a sudden, the gap between us is getting smaller and smaller. Whether it's me or him, I'm not sure. When our faces are mere inches away from each other, his hand comes up and caresses my cheek. My gaze flits between his eyes and his parted lips. The look in his eyes isn't lust; lust is what I'm used to. This feels like uncharted territory.

"Tell me to stop, Maya," he whispers breathily, pausing to wait for my answer.

It takes all of my resolve to take a deep breath as I pull away. "I can't, Christian."

I don't bother to glance at his hurt and confused face as I throw open the door and run to my house.

Distance, that's what we need.

I take the stairs two at a time until I'm in my room.

Or should I just tell him the truth?

Once in my room, I slam the door shut and throw myself onto my bed.

No, because I know he'll try to stop me.

Burying my face in my pillow, I struggle to contain the scream that wishes to escape my lungs.

Am I... developing feelings for him?

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Distance it is.

________

And that's another chapter down! Again, I don't really like how most of this was written but I really can't do any better than that LOOL. Hopefully you have some ideas about what the end of the book is gonna look like? Well, the next thing on the list is learning to drive >.< can you guess who's going to teach her that??? haha hope everyone's doing well x