Chapter Thirty-Eight

2013

Warm, big arms were wrapped around me, and I sighed and snuggled close to them. The arms pushed me forward strongly, gave me the same safe and sound feeling I’d always felt with him.

I leaned my body against Fred, letting myself relax. The night had been one of the worst in my life - the nightmares were never-ending, and the screams that were ripped out of my throat went on and on, until I want nothing but die.

But then I felt someone hugging me - Fred, I now knew - and it was all over. I’d been sleeping a total of two hours until morning came, and Fred had stayed with me all night, caressing my head, kissing my forehead softly, until I felt the tears watering my eyes from feeling so much affection, like nothing I’d ever felt before.

“Thank you,” I whispered, soaking myself in his warmth, “thank you…”

“Shhh…” he played with my hair, putting another kiss on my forehead. “There’s no need for gratitude. Rest now…”

And so I did rest in his arm for about an hour until I felt calm enough to wake up. The absence of Fred’s body was almost intolerable, but I forced myself to part with him. After I got dressed in the toilet, Fred waited for me near the door. Apollo and Strider had already gone to breakfast, and when I asked Fred if they had even been in the room the previous night, he shook his head. “They were on a nightly mission,” he explained as we walked to the dining hall. “Therefore it’s all right.”

I nodded stiffly, feeling embarrassed after this terrible night. We walked silently side by side and reach the dining hall in time. After we grabbed some food and settled at our usual table, I found myself seated next to Fred. Brom, Greg, Megan and Sally were now with Lachlan and the eastern Millennium Force, while Alessandro replaced her here. He chatted with Melinda excitedly, and it was obvious he took a liking to her. Melinda, on the other hand, tried to avoid talking to him at all costs.

Other than them, Maria, Rachel, Jason, Albert, Cora and Samantha were at our table as well. Memories of their crying, bleeding and screaming states from back in the nightmare invaded my head, and a shudder went through my body before I could stop it. Fred put an arm around me and tightened me to him, seemingly attuned to my state of mind. I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes.

When breakfast was over, there was still no sign of Apollo and Strider. Fred said they were supposed to be back, but it was better for me not to worry, and then he himself left with Maria and Albert for some meetings and the sort he needed to attend to. Alessandro tried to get Melinda to go on a date with him but she rejected him by saying she was busy. She glanced at me when she said it, and for some reason, the bad feeling in my stomach toward her returned. She’d walked away then, her back to us, and Alessandro scowled; he probably wasn’t used to be rejected.

Samantha and Cora chatted and chuckled and went shopping. Cora asked me in a drawl if I wanted to join them, but I knew she didn’t really mean that so I obviously said no.

Out of pure boredom, I went to the library. It was the last day for the winter recess, and I was already done with all of my homework. I then decided to pick up The Tales of England and Magnus again out of lack of something better to do, and also because it was basically a biography for everything concerning Spirits and the like.

In the deserted library, I went to the shelf where the volumes were places. I was searching for the book when I suddenly heard two familiar voices that made me freeze in my place. My hand stopped on one of the books while I heard one of the voices say, “What you’re doing isn’t fair and you know it.”

Strider. I swallowed hard.

“I don’t see where the problem is,” Apollo’s fake calm voice. How many times had I heard this voice and knew it was just his repressed anger. “I only went out with her on a date. I didn’t break any law, and need I remind you that you also took her out on a date not too long ago?”

“But you look like the two of you did something more than just a kiss, Apollo!” Strider snapped. “We said we wouldn’t try to have sex with her - not me, not you, and not Fred!”

“I didn’t sleep with her, you idiot!” Apollo lost his forced-calm and I felt a burnt stench in the air. In my head, Tempest hissed, Pyro, and I knew that his hands must’ve caught fire, like they did every time he got angry.

“I know what I saw!” Strider growled, his voice full of so much hatred it almost sounded like he was arguing with an enemy and not an old friend. “When you two kissed you were so into it until - “

“Have you ever wondered if she might’ve wanted me more than she wanted you?” Apollo barked back. “Or is the thought that someone would rather choose me over you is beyond you egocentric ass?”

Apollo’s mocking voice really reached Strider, because the moment he spoke again, I knew something bad was going to happen. “Angel is mine,” he snarled.

“You have no claim on her!” Apollo almost yelled.

“But we both know that there isn’t a better suitor for her than me,” Strider hissed, “and we both know that she’ll choose me in the end.”

A snarl escaped Apollo’s throat, as though he could barely hold Pyro back inside. And then I decided I heard enough.

The rage I felt at the same moment was so strong and wild, I wondered why Tempest wasn’t shattering or quaking things. I don’t do this for the sole reason your love life has nothing to do with me, she explained in a bored voice inside my head. Even though it’s like an interesting telenovela.

I couldn’t even reply, I was so angry.

I went to the front yard to calm down, and there I focused on a group of wolves playing soccer. I tried to forget what I’d just heard, but it was impossible. Apollo and Strider’s conversation played over and over in my head, and I felt like my fuse was at a breaking point. I couldn’t believe Strider for thinking I was his, like I was some pair of sparkly shoes he wanted. As if I wasn’t a person with my own mind and my own choices. And where did his confidence come from? He acted as if he didn’t even know me!

I didn’t know who I would choose when it was time for me to do so, but I knew now that for me, Strider had just taken himself out of the Mating Race big time.

I avoided conversation with anyone for the rest of the day. I was so angry and upset I had no power to deal with anyone right now. But not everything went according to what I wanted, and at dinnertime, I had to see everyone whether I wanted to or not.

I was sitting between Alessandro and Cora on purpose, pointedly avoiding the guys, and felt the three staring at me, but I ignored it. I was so fucking done with this Mating Race.

If they thought it would make me feel wanted and appealing, then they were wrong. Instead, all this Race made me feel was rage and sadness and I was sick of it. I was tired of thinking every time again whose heart would get broken in the end, and I was through with being fought over as if I was some cute little puppy. And the worst thing was, they didn’t even let me choose who I wanted to be with. And what if it wasn’t one of them three? Did I have no freedom in choosing that?

The thought only made my fury rise more and it was apparent on my face because Alessando asked me if I was all right. I couldn’t respond so I simply nodded.

I finished eating first and left the dining hall without a look back. I went to my room and there to bathroom to wash my face, trying to calm down the storm inside me. Afterward, I got dressed in my pajamas and just as I left the bathroom, I saw the guys were there. I ignored them entirely when I went to my bed.

They felt that I wasn’t completely okay because Apollo asked, “What’s wrong?”

I didn’t reply. I was afraid that if I opened my mouth I would scream at them.

“Angela,” Fred’s voice held a sense of warning, “tell us what’s going on, because it’s obvious you’re not well.”

For some reason, his demanding voice made my anger quadruple and I found myself walking toward them. Usually the sight of all three of them without a shirt would’ve made me blush or stare but not it just pissed me off. “Why should I say anything to you?” I asked, my voice cold and an octave lower than usual. “So you can fight over who would help me?”

Strider winced. “You heard us,” he murmured.

I ignored him. “I don’t need some knight in shining armor,” my voice rose, “I can take care of myself.”

The three stared at me in surprise - even Fred, who was usually so indifferent. But I didn’t care, not now. “I’m not your property!” I snapped. “I’m an independent person! I don’t need to ask for permission from any of you to do what I want! If I want to sleep with anyone - be it you or another - I can do it! If I don’t want any of you it’s also my decision! This Mating Race can go fuck itself because I. Don’t. CARE!”

I didn’t wait for them to reply. I didn’t want them to even talk. “So stop fighting over me like I’m some whore you all share and leave me the fuck alone!”

There was no chance I was going to sleep with them in the same room, so I took some of my stuff and left the room, slamming the door after me. I went down the hallway to Cora and Samantha’s room, knowing that because Sally was away they had an empty bed. I knocked on the door when I arrived and Samantha opened, looking shocked to see me there.

“I know you and Cora can’t stand me and it’s mutual,” I said shakily, “but I will only ask this favor once of you, and it is to sleep in your room tonight. I need space from… them.” I lowered my gaze, knowing they would get what I was talking about.

Samantha nodded quietly and let me in. She closed the door after me, and I went to the available bed before either of them could speak, and fell asleep with the stormy emotions whirling inside me.