Chapter 12

SAMANTHA

Dr. Martin discharged me the next morning, just as she had promised. She advised me to take it easy, which I interpreted as no heavy lifting or strenuous exercise.

Emerick, however, seemed to think this meant that even picking up a pencil was too much for me.

I took a moment to call Luke and my parents, assuring them that I was okay and that I had emerged victorious. Apparently, Stephen had already called, but they were still relieved to hear from me.

I tried to spare them the gore, but Luke wouldn’t let up and was as thrilled as a child on Christmas morning to hear about every cut and broken bone.

Still, I left out the part about losing consciousness.

Dad and I agreed it was better they stayed away for a time while things settled down.

The pack house was still on lockdown, but I insisted some of the staff be allowed back inside so they could work, and more importantly, so I could start meeting them.

Emerick wasn’t thrilled about this, but I silenced his protests by reminding him that I had a whole host of adviser positions to fill.

I knew I had scared him, so I tried to cut him some slack, but by lunchtime, I was feeling suffocated.

“You know, I think it might be really good for me to get some fresh air,” I said, standing up from the couch Emerick had insisted I sit on to “take a break.”

~A break from what? I haven’t really done anything all day.~

He jumped up. “Let’s have lunch on the back patio then. I know a great spot—”

“Em,” I said, cutting him off, “I love that you want to take care of me; I do.”

“But I need some space for a bit. A lot has happened over the last two days. I need to take a walk to process things. Alone.”

He frowned and ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I’ve been a little…overbearing.”

I smiled. “It’s fine. I get your concern, but I also need you to understand that what happened yesterday isn’t the only thing on my mind. I’m still trying to get my head around being the alpha.”

He nodded. “You’re right. I’ll, uh, catch up on some paperwork. You…do your thing, I guess.”

“I’m just going to go sit by the pond. I saw it on the way to the fight yesterday. I’ll call you if I need anything.” I pecked him on the cheek and hurried out before he could say anything more.

In the hallway, I took a deep breath and laughed at myself. I had been on my own for so long that I had forgotten what it was like to have someone fuss over me.

Looking back, it was one of the major challenges I faced after Travis passed away. I went from being part of a team to being on my own. Taking care of Luke had seemed impossible back then.

Eventually, I made it to the wall of windows I recognized as the rear of the building.

The outside air hit me like a welcome release. I breathed deeply, closed my eyes, and basked in the feeling of the sun shining on my face.

After a moment, I scanned for the pond I had noticed the day before and picked my way over to it.

Frogs croaked quietly, and dragonflies hovered over the surface. Low branches hung with shaggy leaves, and the water was still.

It was beautiful—a perfect escape.

One bench stood off to the side in the shade of one of the larger trees. I sat on it and closed my eyes for what felt like an eternity, just taking in the sounds and smells.

I was still getting used to my heightened werewolf senses and had barely had a moment to truly appreciate them.

I could hear more without feeling confused; the colors were sharper so I could distinguish things more easily, and my sense of smell was like another set of eyes altogether.

Indeed, I didn’t so much hear someone approaching but smell them, and when I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see Stephen sitting down next to me.

“I see you found my favorite part of the pack house,” he said with a smile.

I smiled back. “Did I take your lunch spot?” I noticed he was holding a bag of what looked like takeout.

“Actually, I brought us both something. I figured you might need it.”

He handed me a sub sandwich and then took one for himself. “I wasn’t sure what you liked but figured turkey and ham was a safe bet. There are chips and some lemonade for you, also, if you like.”

“Thank you. That’s very thoughtful.”

He nodded. “I’m very sorry for everything you have gone through the last two days. I understand that every bit of it is my fault, and I don’t know that I can ever make up for my mistakes.”

I stared at him. I didn’t know what to say.

“When my father told me that I would be mating with Emilia, I was furious,” he continued. “I had already met your grandmother, Jane, and fallen for her.

“Back then, it was all but unheard of for a future alpha to have a relationship with a human woman.

“My father gave me the ultimatum: mate with Emilia, or see Jane hunted down and lose my chance to lead the pack.

“Emilia was and is beautiful, of course, and she comes from a very powerful werewolf family. She has several relatives who are also alphas. It was a smart match.

“But I wanted no part of it. I didn’t mind giving up becoming the alpha at the time, but I couldn’t let my father hurt Jane.

“And so, I mated with Emilia. And I hated myself and her for it. She tried to make me happy, but she never stood a chance. She wasn’t Jane.

“Anyway, Emilia and I had William, and my world changed for the better. For a time, I devoted myself to being the best husband and father I could be. But I never felt complete.

“Then I ran into Jane again while I was in town, and every feeling that I’d ever had for her came rushing back. We were teenagers in love again, and I wanted everything she was and made me feel.

“I made the most terrible mistake of my life. I betrayed my mate. The worst part was I couldn’t even find it in myself to feel bad about it.”

He paused, looking lost in thought. I could see the torment on his face.

“When I got home, Emilia was a wreck. I hadn’t realized she would know what was happening—that she would feel that I was with Jane. Or maybe I just hadn’t wanted to admit it.

“Infidelity is almost unheard of among werewolves. We mate for life, so my situation was rare, to say the least.

“She threatened to leave the pack and take William with her. Or worse, tell my father and have him hunt down Jane.

“I begged for her forgiveness. She told me the only way we could move forward was if I never spoke to Jane again and if we never spoke about my unfaithfulness with anyone, including each other.

“I agreed, of course. I didn’t think I had much of a choice and I certainly didn’t want my father to find out.

“I took over as alpha only a couple of months later and threw myself into my work as a distraction. Emilia and I remained civil, but there was a new coldness about her. I had broken a part of her.

“Then one day, I got a letter from Jane telling me she was pregnant.”

He stopped, and I could see the tears in his eyes. Again, I had no idea what to say. There wasn’t really much to say. I imagined he had never really sat and told anybody the full truth.

When he spoke again, his voice was lower as he searched for the right words. “I didn’t know what to do. There is no undoing a mating bond, so one way or another, Emilia and I were stuck together.

“I was a brand-new alpha, finding my footing in the pack. Above all else, I knew my duty to them was bigger than myself. So…I wrote Jane back and told her to end it.”

He rubbed a hand over his face. “Obviously, she refused. Said she couldn’t imagine how I could be so heartless. How I could abandon her and reject our child.

“I hated myself for it—but I was trying to protect her also. Even though my father was no longer the alpha, he still held tremendous power within the pack.

“In the end, Jane sent the baby, your father, to live with her sister and brother-in-law. The people you know as your grandparents.

“I prayed every day he wouldn’t be a werewolf. Your grandparents raised him into a fine young man, and he was thriving. But as his sixteenth birthday grew closer, I could feel that he would shift.

“I finally gave Emilia the whole truth and told her about Elias. She was furious, but at that point, there was not much she could do. To me at least.

“I told her I was bringing your father to live with us, and she accepted it with as much dignity as I suppose a person can.

“I told William as well. He was twenty at the time and felt betrayed. In a different way though. He had always wanted a sibling and felt he had been robbed of the opportunity.”

He sighed. “As you can imagine, Emilia did not make life easy for Elias. She felt that every success he had was an affront to her directly, and a threat to her son as heir to the alpha call.

“Of course, your father wanted no part of being alpha and tried desperately to fit in, but she never let him. Any affection or positive word I spoke about him, she would make him pay for it threefold.

“And so, when he turned eighteen, he told me he was leaving, and I couldn’t blame him.”

Staring out at the water, I thought about how my father had lied to me all these years.

~“He wanted to protect you from all the pain he experienced when he was still such a young man,” ~Ayisha said.

I squeezed my eyes shut. ~“He didn’t have the right. He could have talked to us about what werewolves can be like, he could have kept us hidden, but he didn’t have to curse us.”~

“Why are you telling me all this, Stephen?”

“I want you to know the whole truth—my whole truth—for two reasons.

“First, I want you to understand why Emilia is the way she is toward your family. As you decide her punishment, remember my misgivings. I don’t condone her actions, but as her mate, I ask for mercy.”

I hadn’t even thought about what to do with Emilia. To be honest, I hadn’t considered that I ~could~ do anything to her.

Emerick had told me that my word was law among my pack, but I hadn’t fully comprehended what that meant at the time.

“And the second reason?”

He took a breath. “The second reason is that you need to understand you can never trust her.”

I turned to meet his eyes and found his face serious.

“Emilia punished a child for the sins of his father without a second thought. She has spent decades despising Elias and his entire family.

“I fear, had I not sworn her to leave him alone under a threat to her own life, she would’ve had him killed long ago.

“I should’ve done more to protect your father and make sure he felt welcomed here as part of the pack.

“Instead, I let her run him off because I was ashamed of my own faults. It was easier to allow her to be the way she was…is…than to stand up to her and face her wrath.

“I fear that my giving her that power without consequence has led her to believe I will allow it to continue.”

“What are you telling me to do, Stephen?” I asked. “I refuse to live in fear. I will protect my son above all else. Asking me for mercy but telling me she will always be a threat is a mixed message.”

“I can’t tell you what to do,” he said quietly. “What I can tell you is that I regret every day I didn’t fight for my son. I failed to protect him.”

I thought of Dad. He would have been about the same age as Luke was now, trying to start a life among werewolves he didn’t know. It must have been terrifying, let alone while living with Emilia.

It was a small insight as to why he left and kept me hidden for so long.

“Thank you for your candor,” I finally told Stephen. “You have given me a lot to consider, and I want you to know I won’t make my next move lightly.”

Stephen gave me a sad smile. “Thank you, Samantha. One more piece of unsolicited advice, if you don’t mind?”

I nodded, giving him the go-ahead.

“I’m sure you have been warned that males will come sniffing around for what they feel you can offer them.

“If you find a man who you care about, who you believe to be genuine in his feelings for you, you should strongly consider mating with him. Having a mate will offer you some level of protection.”

I thought on his words for a moment. “But if every man I meet might have an ulterior motive, how will I know who I can trust?”

Stephen’s voice was serious. “You can’t.”