♦⊱ Chapter 36 - Family ⊰♦

Kichiro sama pov:

I groaned as I awoke, feeling extremely exhausted despite having slept rather deeply. I recalled that I had been poisoned by the foolish elders of this village through the sake that they had served. They should have known that something as weak as this poison would not hurt me when I was resistant to most poisons, even ones that were considered the most deadly.

The first thing I noticed when I came to was the light weigh on my chest. Peeling my eyes open, I looked down only to see Ruka asleep on me. I felt warmed and instantly calmed by her presence. I placed a hand on her head and the other on her fist that was gripping my clothes.

"Your Majesty, you're awake," I heard Kijima speak. Looking to the side, I saw him on one knee on the floor. "My deepest apologies, Your Majesty. I was careless and gave those b******* a chance to harm you."

I looked back at Ruka, caressing her head as she snoozed comfortably. "This kind of poison is nothing to me, Kijima, surely you are aware of that. What happened doesn't matter – Ruka is safe."

"I understand, Your Majesty."

"Was she beside me the whole time?" I asked, relishing how good it felt to have her close to me.

"Yes, she was tending to you when you were unconscious. However, she fainted due to exhaustion a little after midnight," answered Kijima.

I looked at Kijima with narrow eyes immediately. "She fainted? Was the food poisoned?"

If the elders had harmed Ruka, they would pay with their lives! I came here to attend the festival solely because I thought Ruka would enjoy it. She was excited after I had mentioned it and I had assumed that we would not be put in any sort of harm if we attended a simple village festival. However, if she had been harmed in any way, I would wipe out this entire village as punishment and as a warning that no one should try something so foolish again.

I, however, narrowed my eyes further when Kijima chuckled. He shook his head as he stood. His smile widening, he spoke, "It is not something you need to get so worked up about, Your Majesty. Her highness was not harmed in any way. In fact, I must congratulate the two of you."

"Congratulate? For what reason?" I questioned sharply. Ruka had fainted and Kijima was congratulating us for it?

"Your Majesty, Her Highness, Ruka sama is pregnant."

I didn't quite understand what he meant. Frowning, I repeated, "Pregnant?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. It means that she is with child now. She is carrying your child, the heir to the throne, the heir of royal blood," he explained.

I didn't get to react to what he said for Ruka shifted with a sigh. It was moments before she awoke and sat up. I watched as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and ran her hands through her hair to set it down neatly. She looked beautiful and the desire to kiss her washed over me.

I sat up with a grunt in pain from the after effects the poison had on my body. Ruka became alert at that, immediately holding my shoulder with one hand and placing her other hand on my chest.

"Kichiro sama, are you alright?" she asked, worry swirling in her deep, dark eyes.

I didn't answer her and merely wrapped an arm around her shoulder to pull her closer to me. I placed my lips on hers, closing my eyes in satisfaction when she responded. We parted much too soon for my liking but I held the side of her face with one hand to caress her.

"Ruka, how do you feel?"

She smiled in response to my question, placing her hand over mine that was on her face. "I'm alright. I was a little tired yesterday but I'm fine now."

"Kijima said you fainted," I stated.

"A-ah, I did, didn't I? I don't know why that happened...this isn't the first time I've stayed up late," she said, her voice soft.

"You fainted because you're pregnant, Ruka sama!" the maid spoke up, her smile wide.

Ruka was blank for a moment. Her eyes soon went wide and redness rose to her cheeks and went all the way till her ears. "Oh my goodness, really?" she asked.

"Yes, Ruka sama! You're just over six weeks through!" answered the maid.

"That explained the fatigue I've been feeling off late..." she mumbled before placing both of her hands on her abdomen while looking down at it. I glanced at her abdomen as well though unsure of why she was looking at it.

She looked up with an expression of sheer excitement through her fluster and shifted closer to me. She covered her face before hiding it in the folds of my clothes over my chest. Still confused, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders to hold her to me.

"I'm going to be a mother," she mumbled. It elicited a smile from Kijima and a soft laugh from the maid.

Ruka was still flushed when she moved away from me. But she met my eyes with a tender smile that made my heart squeeze. It faltered though when she noticed that I was watching her with a frown. She touched the side of my face with her hand, rubbing my cheek with her thumb without breaking eye contact.

"Kichiro sama, are...are you not happy about this?" she asked, sounding sad. It worsened the tightness in my chest to almost unbearable – I never liked seeing her sad.

"I don't know," I responded, earning an expression of mild surprise.

"Your Highness, if I may," spoke Kijima, looking somewhat amused, "His Majesty doesn't know what it means to start a family. But I'm sure that if you explain to him and show him what it means to be a family, he will surely be happy. He will surely look forward to the events that are yet to come with having your own children."

I suppose it was right to say that I was happy and pleased. We were having a child of our blood, a child that was only ours and would carry my name, be my heir. It made me proud.

"Your Majesty, if it not uncomfortable for you, would you like to visit my family? I think it will help you understand what I'm trying to say," Kijima added.

I narrowed my eyes slightly. I was yet to fully comprehend my emotions, the attachment and immense protectiveness I felt over Ruka. I never wanted her to leave my side even if we were inside the palace and I was busy with official work. I always wanted her to be close to me, in my arms, where she fit perfectly and made me feel immensely comfortable. I despised letting anyone close to her unless I trusted them very much. I always had my men watching her, guarding her, known to her and even in the shadows with Kijima leading them.

She was always on my mind and every day I would be so eager for when I could see her, when we could be alone and I could drown in the completeness I felt with her. My possessiveness and protectiveness over her had only increased after I had seen her bare herself to me, to be most vulnerable any person could possibly be in their lives, but only for my eyes to see. The memories of how she lay beneath me breathing heavily, her eyes focused on me as she called out my name over and over again, the way she clung to me with her slender arms around my shoulder, her smooth skin pressed up against mine, the soft kisses she would give me on my neck when she hid her face there...it made my chest swell. Then I would watch her as she slept, exhausted but happy to have been in my embrace.

Ruka was the first person to treat me with so much importance and accept me as Kijima had. No, she treated me with even more warmth than anything that I had received from anyone, even Kijima. Never before had I felt so desperate to have someone by my side always...so, having a child of our own was alright, was it not? It was apt...perhaps.

I didn't know what it would be like, what it would mean for I had never really been with any family of sorts before, let alone children. But Ruka was so happy about this so it was good, wasn't it?

"We shall meet your family, Kijima," I said.

"Of course, Your Majesty. I will make preparations," he said and excused himself. The maid bowed too and left the room with a skip in her step. Ruka and I were alone now.

"Kichiro sama," Ruka spoke softly, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing the side of my head. I held her back and placed my lips on her neck just like the way I remember her doing to me. She shivered and tightened her hold around my neck at that. When she pulled away, she had a flushed smile on her face.

"I'm really happy, Kichiro sama," she said.

I pushed some strands of her hair behind her ears before kissing her. She responded almost shyly but shifting so she was pressed up against me. After a few caresses, she moved away so would could get ready for the day. I let her shower first so her maid could help her dress while I got ready. It was not long after that we were prepared to leave the village and go to Kijima's house.

I held my hand out for Ruka to take and she did so with no hesitation. As soon as we stepped out of the inn, we were greeted by the village elders who had poisoned me. Some of them whispered amongst themselves, obviously surprised to see me alive and well. I suppressed my anger as we walked to the carriage. Ruka noticed that I was tense and gave my hand a slight squeeze. When I met her eyes, she smiled, making my anger subside so easily. We got into the carriage after that, post a halfhearted wish for a pleasant trip from the village elder.

When we were out of the village, I scoffed in annoyance. I felt Ruka's hand on my trembling once. I looked at her when she asked, "Kichiro sama, are you alright?"

"Ruka," I said, cupping her face with my hand. She smiled as she held my hand in place.

"I'm really happy that we're going to be parents, Kichiro sama. I'm so glad that I returned with you and get to spend every moment of my life with you. I hope that everything that happens in our future will make you as happy as I am."

Any bit of self-control I had shattered from her words. I pulled her forward to kiss her deeply, tilting my head sideways and parting my lips to caress her. She responded, wrapping her arms around my neck. When we parted, she was slightly out of breath.

She let go of me but leaned her head against my shoulder sideways. With a sigh, she said, "I love you, Kichiro sama."

The journey back to the capital was pleasant. It was early noon when we reached Kijima's house. Kijima opened the doors of the carriage when we had come to a stop, "Your Majesty, Your Highness, we have arrived at my house. Please come inside and have lunch – it would be a great honor for me and my family."

Just as we got off the carriage, three children ran out of the house in front of us and collided into Kijima. "Tou san, welcome home!" they said together and Kijima lifted the second child in his arms to embrace him.

I watched as Ruka stepped to the youngest child, a girl who was hiding behind Kijima's legs. She kneeled in front of the child and said in a soft voice, "Hello, what's your name?"

"I-I'm Matsuri," the child mumbled, hiding a little more behind Kijima's legs.

"That's a lovely name, Matsuri!" Ruka said, placing her hand on her head. I hadn't spoken or moved for I was not sure what to do in this situation.

"Are you really our emperor?" I looked down at the boy who interrupted my jumbled thoughts, Kijima's eldest son. He was looking at me curiously, with no hint of fear. It was surprising and unusual and I narrowed my eyes slightly.

"Yes," I answered curtly.

He grinned wide, his eyes going wide too. "Whoa! That's so cool! I can't believe the emperor is actually visiting us! Come inside, Your Majesty!!"

I was mildly startled when he took a hold of my hand without hesitance and pulled me behind him into the house. I watched him as he laughed while leading me inside until I looked up at the interiors of the house. The house wasn't as big as the palace, obviously, but cozy and welcoming. I felt rather comfortable here.

We were led to what appeared to be a dining room and we took seats on pillows on the floor around a low height table. I glanced at Ruka as she spoke to Kijima's children who were sitting around her – she seemed comfortable and happy with them, a radiant smile on her face in the middle of laughs and lighthearted words exchanged.

It was a few minutes later that Kijima's wife stepped into the dining room with a variety of foods. They were placed on the table in front of us so we could eat. I was hesitant for a moment, worried about Ruka more than myself, but I trusted Kijima so I was certain that the food here would not have been tampered with. We began to eat – it was good and the type of food we were served somehow reminded me of the food Ruka always made. I wanted to eat the food she cooked right now...

After finishing our meal, Ruka requested her maid to bring her musical instrument. She wanted to play a song for everyone even though I was more eager to return to the palace where I felt most comfortable. I had seen what it meant to be with children, to get their unconditional affection as Kijima was getting from them – they were sort of noisy but their innocence, laughter, unhesitating behavior was pleasant. It only made me more curious about how it would be for me and Ruka when we had our own child born into the world.

"Kichiro sama, here," Ruka said whilst holding out some papers to me. I took the sheets from her and read the contents. When I met her gaze after reading a few lines, she said, "That's the translation of the song that I will sing now. I want you to know the meaning of the song because it's the emotions that I want to convey to you, about how I feel about you."

I read through what she had written again only to have something in my chest tighten. I clenched my jaw, involuntarily tightening my grip on the sheets to create wrinkles.

I had always been possessive of her but at the same time, constantly uneasy. She had always said that she loved me, that she would always be with me – she had even left her family forever to be with me – and yet, I was uneasy. I knew that I was cruel, that people feared me, loathed me for how ruthless I always was in any matter. I had come to the conclusion that there was no one who would truly respect me for who I was, not even Kijima even though he had been the only one to watch over me since I was a child and remain by my side until now. I had assumed that he only did so out of his sense of duty.

I did not believe that even Ruka who I had brought back with me as a prisoner would show me any sort of affection let alone feel genuinely comfortable in my presence. But so much had changed because of her – I had seen the truth in Kijima's loyalty, in Ruka's affection for me. She had kissed me, been intimate with me, sung songs to me, left her family for me...how? How did she show me so much affection so easily? How was she so happy to be with me, to have a family with me, to love me so much that she would say such words to me?

While I was shunned as a monster by every single person in this world, how was Ruka so confident and open about her affection for me?

After everything that she had said to me, done for me, taught me, I couldn't even imagine a life without her by my side. I couldn't imagine, for even a moment, not being with her. She was now a presence that I needed to survive. She was more important than anything else in this world. She was so weak in comparison to me and yet, without her, I felt powerless and unable to think straight...and I desperately wished to fall into her tender embrace right now to feel the reassurance and safety I always felt with her.

She was a delicate lamb that had fallen into the hands of a deadly monster. She had never seen me that way though...how?

I clenched my jaw and watched as she laughed with the children and let them pluck the strings of her instrument before she could begin her song. I knew that she would never leave me. She was mine and mine alone, and I would never let her go!

When she finally began to play the song, I looked to the sheets, my chest clenching up when she began to sing.

"Heart beats fast, colors and promises

How to be brave, how can I love when I'm afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died every day, waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still, beauty in all she is

I will be brave, I will not let anything, take away

What's standing in front of me

Every breath, every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died every day, waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed, I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer (x2)

I have died every day, waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed, I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more..."

As she finished singing, the children cheered and asked her to sing another song. However, I stood up swiftly, my fists clenched so tightly that I could feel my nails digging into my skin. Everyone's attention was on me at that but I was looking only into Ruka's eyes.

"Kichiro sama?" she questioned.

Unable to control the rush of emotions I was feeling, I took a hold of her wrist and pulled her up. I pulled her out of the house and through the capital, earning stares and whispers from people we passed by besides respectful bows. She didn't resist as I led her out of the village and into the light forest just bordering the capital. I made her come to a stop in front of me and I let go of her hand.

"Kichiro sama, what's wrong? Are you not comfortable in Kijima san's house?" she asked, placing a hand over my chest.

I lost the last bit of control I had at that. Clenching my jaw, I pulled her forward to hold her in my arms tightly. She was still for a moment, perhaps surprised by my gesture, but wrapped her arms around me soon enough, leaning into me. I tightened my arms more as she gently patted my back.

"Ruka," I mumbled, my body trembling. I felt so overwhelmed right now, unable to comprehend the gushing emotions that made me breathless and weak. I could feel something cool on my face but I ignored it as I continued to just hold Ruka tightly, unwilling to let her go anytime soon. My heart was pounding but calmed under the soothing caresses Ruka gave me on my back.

When I was finally sure that my heart wouldn't burst out of my chest, I let her go. She was smiling as she met my eyes but her expression turned to one of sheer surprise almost immediately. She gasped and lifted her hands to cup my face gently, "Kichiro sama, why are you crying?"

I twitched at her words. I was...crying?

I raised one hand to touch the wetness on my face – sure enough, they were tears. I couldn't even remember a time when I had cried, perhaps it was only when I was child who didn't understand anything. So, why was this happening now? Why was I showing such pathetic weaken?! Damn it!

I snapped out of my thoughts when Ruka embraced me again, though with her arms around my neck this time. She held the back of my head with one hand and placed a kiss on my neck that only made me breathless again.

"You don't have to hold it in, Kichiro sama," she said softly. "I won't let anyone see you so if you need to let it out, you can without hesitance."

She raised herself onto her toes so that my face was in the crook of her neck. It overwhelmed me again and I could do nothing my wrap my arms around her and hold her flush against me with my eyes closed. I don't know for how long I held her though the wetness on my cheeks didn't let up for even a moment. Ruka cooed softly to me every now and then, kissed the side of my head every now and then, and ran her fingers through my hair every now and then. It soothed me and soon calmed me as well.

Ruka cupped my face again when I let her out of the embrace. She caressed my cheeks with her thumbs and then let me go only to hold my hands in hers, "Are you better now?"

I nodded slowly and her smile widened. She closed her eyes as I leaned down to kiss her, a sort of desperation stirring within me. She responded slowly, but made me tense when she ran her tongue over my lips once before pulling away. She laughed softly once before holding my hand in hers.

"We should head back. I'm sure Kijima san and his family are worried because of how suddenly we left," she said.

I let her guide me back to Kijima's house. As I watched her, her petite physique, her long hair that swayed in the wind, and her soft hand holding me, I made a strong resolution just as I had done to become the Supreme Ruler of Nihon. I wanted Ruka to be happy. I wanted her to always smile, to smile for me, because of me. Whatever I didn't know about love, I would let her teach me. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted her and the child that was ours to be happy.

And I would never let them go no matter what.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

TwT What a rush of emotions Kichiro sama has had for the first time in his life. My heart hurts for him...but I'm so happy that Ruka is with him to heal his heart bit by bit. It will be soon that their son or daughter will heal his heart too!

Gyaaahh! I'm so happy for them! This calls for a celebrations! *hands out chocolate cake to everyone*

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