Chapter 8

It was already dark out. I needed to leave for a while the place I used to call home and the people I used to call family.

Before heading to the forest I picked up my bow and arrow and hung it on my back.

I hated being mad at my family, I always thought it was only my fault, but it wasn’t. I thought to myself. ‘My dad will not marry me off to someone I don’t even know. I won’t follow his orders,’ I was my own person, I was still me.

I ran to the lake in my wolf form with my clothes and archery equipment in my teeth. I ran to the furthest lake. Away from everyone. To be alone…

As I changed back in my human form I dropped my clothes, bow and arrow down. I walked further naked up to the shore. I didn’t even make it in, I broke down on my knees. The little bit of water brushed my naked knees.

I cried out loud with my broken voice. I cried because here I was all alone, no one to say that it would be okay and no one to pretend that they understand me, it wasn’t just this time and place I was alone, I have been alone my whole life. Even Adrian wasn’t someone to be there for me. He had always been someone else’s. Now I understood that the only thing keeping him close to me was the mate feelings with my sister, he may have only ever felt the family feeling with me. He didn’t feel that Magdalena was his mate, but he felt something between us and now I knew it was always the family he felt with me. And I always stupidly wondered why he hung out with me when no one else did.

I felt the tears hitting my knees. I looked up to the sky and let my voice echoed in the forest. Finally letting everything out of me and I didn’t care if any passerby would hear me or see me, I was broken, the only thing left to live for was my nymph duty and my wolf. I felt my throat throbbing from all the crying, I was shaking and stuttering because it was colder than most nights and the cold waves were hitting my naked figure. My teeth started to chatter together and lips were shaking. After a few minutes my whole body started to shake.

I heard leaves crunching behind me... someone was here. Who would actually walk up to me like that? Every pack member knew not to go up to nymphs at night, we had made that clear before that nymphs are not to be disturbed or watched while they were in their natural habitat. Only someone unfamiliar would actually go up to me, more like when I was like this. The walking got louder with each step. My arrows were next to me and I clutched my hand around one with leaves and a few little branches in between too. My cries had stopped now and I was waiting for the person to make a move. But I didn’t dare to move myself. I was completely naked. And who would dare to walk up to a woman who was so broken.

After a while I felt that person right behind me stopped. I adjusted my hand on the arrow which made a noise louder than it should. I closed my eyes out of my stupidity because there was no possible way the person didn’t hear that, the person now knew my move for sure and if it would attack I was doomed. Even if I couldn’t shoot it, I could still hurt the person.

“I don’t think that will be enough to fight me off,” the person spoke and I let out a little whimper with a stutter breath. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as if it could save me. I knew exactly who it was from that voice. The same voice that had been haunting me for the past days... I didn’t hear that usual smirk in his voice that was usually there.

I didn’t even try to answer to him I gave up... if he wanted to torture me than I would let him, maybe that’s the only thing that would make me feel like a person. Fear. Or maybe he would end me on the spot. Take whatever was left of my soul and let the ground eat up my body.

He dropped something next to me in the spot where the water didn’t reach. I flinched a little too hard considering it was only my dress. “Usually, I wouldn’t mind the view but I do mind when women choose to freeze to death,” He said, now with a smirk. “Considering how poorly you are dressed…”’ he paused, “or not at all… It won’t take you long.”

I remained at the same place still sitting on my knees. I put on my dress but held the dress’s lower part up to not wet it. “If I wanted to hurt you I would have already done it, you standing up won’t magically make me want to kill you... besides it really doesn’t go well with my work policy.” He said. I knew he was trying to joke. But I couldn’t take anything he says as a joke.

Out of nowhere I saw something lit up from behind me. Like a light bulb. Heard him throwing something around. Rocks? He threw one beside me. A little crystal thing that illuminated light like a flashlight.

For the first time I looked back at him. He looked at me in an expression I couldn’t read. I realized how red and puffy my eyes must have been and looked away, back to the water.

“What I mean is... I don’t actually kill anyone,” he continued his previous statement. .

“But you’re Death,” I tried to reason with him even though my voice was quiet and scared.

“I don’t kill anyone... I can, but that is not what I do. I take people’s souls when they die, I guide them in the afterlife. I help them continue their journey in peace.” He explained.

“Afterlife?” I asked, trying to understand.

“When someone dies they go to the afterlife,” he explained.

“Is that like heaven and hell?” I asked him, focusing my stare at the water, I felt my lips starting to tremble from the cold wind.

“Not exactly,” he said.

“Then... what...what’s it like?” I asked.

“That is the only thing that I am never telling a living soul,” he said.

“Is...Is it that bad?” I asked.

“It’s the only thing that has no evidence of being real. They only think what they imagine. And that’s why most of you hate Death... That includes you,” he almost whispered the last part.

“I don’t ....” I started to say but he cut me off. And I almost cursed myself. Why would I say that to him?

“You don’t hate Death? You just despise Death taking away the ones you care about, you hate that part of life. “He explained. “You are afraid of Death, terrified of Death taking your people.”

“People are afraid of the unknown,” I said, recalling what Vincent once said to me. “Is the ... that hiding of what the afterlife is, something you just have to do or you choose to?”

“I don’t think that’s how you play twenty one questions...” he said. “When will I get my questions?” I could tell that he was smiling saying that.

“Don’t you already know everything about everyone?” I asked not understanding how this Death thing worked.

“I am not Santa Claus,” he cut at me like it was the stupidest question ever asked to him.

“There is only one thing I know about people.”

He wasn’t saying what. It irritated me. “Which is?”

“…not important... to me it is… to you, not so much,” he kept quiet after that for some time. “And to answer your question... I don’t have to do anything. I choose to.” He explained.

“Why? If people knew maybe they would be more understanding.”

“I don’t want them to understand Death. I want them to have at least something to imagine, even if they know everything,” he said. “Even if that is fear,” a long pause of silence filled surroundings and I tried to focus on the water and not on Death being there. “You should get up it’s getting colder,” he said but I ignored his statement and asked him something.

“Why are you following me?” I asked.

“Following?” He questioned.

“You came here and at the hospital you walked up to me... why do you need to torture me?” I asked with my voice exhausted.

He ignored my question. “Get up!” He said this time ordering me but I shook my head at him. “I will not hurt you, you are sitting in freezing cold water.”

“Werewolf’s don’t get sick easily.” I tried to make him understand that I was fine the way I was.

“alright… now it’s my question,” he said and felt him near me a little.

“What made you so miserable that you are now talking to me when earlier you were frightened by me, I know that you still are but what so horrible happened that you are now putting yourself on a platter for me to kill if I wanted to? You’re too young to have a mid-life crisis,” he said but I wasn’t going to tell him that I am just too lonely to care, too lonely to think about me.

When I didn’t answer him he spoke again.

“I am not leaving until you get up and go back home,” he said. I didn’t really feel like getting up, I didn’t want to fight to get the energy for it.

Eventually I did get up. He was still facing my back. I felt water dripping down my legs. The wet fabric of my dress was now stuck to my legs like glue.

For the first time I turned towards him, and I actually looked at him, not like I used to look at him but now I looked at him almost like at another person. I was confused by the next thing he did. He took some things out of his coat pockets and put them in his pants pockets, then he took off his black coat and he offered it to me. I quickly shook my head. “It wasn’t a question,” he said instead.

“What about you?” I asked him but he just raised his eyebrow at me. I again felt stupid asking him. What was so wrong with my question?

He didn’t answer me. I took the coat from him slowly and slipped inside of the oversized clothing. I felt like I was wrapped in a warm blanket. It made me tired, cozy… and it smelt of him. I didn’t realize he had a particular scent to him… but he did. It wasn’t bad.

I looked up at him. “Why are you following me?” I asked.

“Your welcome!” he said referring to the coat he gave me, I looked down in shame because all my mom has ever taught me was how to be polite but I wasn’t even good at that. “I am not following because I want to, I don’t care what you do or why you do anything, I don’t care your life or your death for that matter, I just need to figure out why you are seeing me when you shouldn’t. I need to know because I already had someone inspect your whole life and there is no reason of why you are now talking to me.” He explained.

It took some time for me to understand. “that women…” I started.

“Jasmin was working for me I made her find out everything about you and there was nothing useful.”

“How can I help with it then?” I asked. He looked at me for a moment, surprised. Or weirded out.

He shrug his shoulders, “I am trying to figure it out.”

I didn’t wait any longer and I bent down to pick up my arrows and as I got back up he was gone, he vanished only thing left was his coat that was hugging my body. I took a few steps forward and picked up my bow. I was going to shoot today but now I just wanted to go back to somewhere warm.

“In just these few minutes it feels like you have cared the most and you don’t even care at all.” I whispered to thin air…