CH 22
I Was a Good Person, and Then a Lot of Things Betrayed Me
After returning home from the library, I tried to go back to my room.
âH-hey, Yusei.â
Then Mifuyu called out to me.
I tried to ignore her and started walking away.
âW-wait!â
Mifuyu shouts a little louder and grabs the sleeve of my shirt.
âWhat?â
I turn to Mifuyu with a slightly grumpy voice.
â Ah, eh.â
Mifuyu seemed to shrink a little when I turned to her with a sour voice.
But she still speaks to me.
âYou know? Iâve been thinking about it since then.â
âAbout what?â
I asked, aware of my accusing tone.
âI was imposing my ideals on you, and it never occurred to me that I was causing you so much pain.â
It never occurred to you huh.
â So, you see? I donât want to make you suffer any more. Iâll accept any kind of Yusei, so please forgive me.â
Mifuyu said this to me as if she was looking at my face.
ââ¦you know, donât you think itâs too convenient to do that now?â
âT-thatâsâ¦â
Mifuyu interrupted.
âWhen Mifuyu told me that it wasnât me, I was really sad and bitter.â
This is my true feelings.
âIâm really sorry.â
This apology sounded empty to me.
It doesnât matter anymore. Because Iâm not the real me.
âWith that, I went back to my room.â
âW-wait!â
She grabbed me by my sleeve again.
âWhat do you want?â
I naturally ended up speaking more strongly.
âI-I want to make up with Yusei.â
[What is she saying]
It appeared again.
But this time, I sympathize with what heâs saying.
âWhat are you saying?â
âYusei?â
âThereâs no way such words are going to make things go back to the way they were now, is there?â
I said coldly.
âI know. I know. Yusei has suffered a deep wound in his heart. And that it is not something that can be easily healed.â
You understand?
âYou donât understand. You donât understand anything. Why are you talking like you understand me? Didnât you do that before? Donât act like you understand me.â
A low voice with a dash comes out of my mouth.
âEven if you donât understand me, I want to understand you from now on.â
What the hell is that?
Itâs too late now.
If you had said those words to me a little earlier, it might have been different.
âThatâs why you donât understand me.â
I want you to leave me alone now.
âHaa, I donât need a sister if this is what itâs going to be like.â
I muttered this in a small voice.
Mifuyu seemed to have heard me.
She had tears in her eyes that were brimming with tears.
âIâm sorry, Iâm really sorry. I canât believe I pushed you to that point. Iâm sorry Iâm such a bad sister. Iâm truly sorry.â
Mifuyu then returned to her room.
[Oi, did you hear that? She apologized four times. Thatâs funny.]
â¦â¦Well, no matter what she says to me now, I will never open my heart to Mifuyu again.
Or should I say, I canât open my heart to Mifuyu anymore.
[Itâs ironic, isnât it? That you canât open your heart even though she is your family.]
Itâs ironic, really.
Family means people who are related by blood.
But it is also someone you can open your heart to.
I couldnât do that anymore.
If anything, Mifuyu might be the one who rejects me the most.
But even so, I donât think anything of it.
Even when I saw Mifuyuâs tears, I really didnât think anything of it.
[Hahaha! Youâre really beginning to break down, right!]
Iâm broken.
Thatâs right.
[Well, thatâs okay. Itâs all the people around you who are to blame.]
Itâs all the people around me who are to blame.
Thatâs right.
Itâs not me thatâs bad.
Itâs everyone around me.
I desperately told myself that.
As if I was desperately trying to escape from something.
[Youâre not running away. Itâs really the people around you who are to blame.]
Hahaha.
Right
Itâs their fault.
Itâs all their fault.
Itâs all their fault that Iâm in pain, that everyone is crying, that Iâve changed.