Chapter 38: A Promise

“So, you’re really selling fur?”

We’d changed the bedsheets and climbed under the covers, partially undressed. Jared found that a bit strange; to take our clothes ~off~ when it always was colder at night. That wasn’t logical to him.

But he seemed comfortable enough and ate the last piece of toast I fed him.

Enthralled by the way his lips moved while he chewed and talked, I was too deep in my thoughts to hear what he said. I sighed happily when he kissed the tip of my finger.

“…So, to summarize; yes, I do,” he finished, chuckling. He was lying on his back, resting on his arm, while the other one was wrapped around my shoulders.

I had cuddled up against his chest with my leg between his, twirling a lock of his hair around my finger. But just as I felt that I couldn’t be happier, dark memories overshadowed my thoughts.

“What happened to you that day?” I whispered, and I knew he could tell what I was talking about just by looking me in the eyes. “I thought you were dead.”

Reliving the traumatic minutes like so many times before made me tear up.

Even though my body was literally wrapped around Jared’s and I knew he was alive and well, I still felt devastated when the image of him stumbling backward and falling off the cliff and into the darkness.

“And you had to be out there in the forest all by yourself while you were injured, and…”

I felt overpowered by sadness for what he’d gone through because of me and started crying into the crook of his neck.

“Shh…I’m okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“But you could have died!” I exclaimed and looked at him with teary eyes.

“And so could you because of that piece of sh…Skylar. Look at me. I hate Buck for what he did to you. But most of all I hate myself for not being able to keep you safe.”

His eyes were big and filled with a strange kind of anger. One that wasn’t directed at me.

“Buck…He was my uncle.”

I gasped. I killed his uncle?

“But I knew how he was, and that you were in danger around him. That’s why I wanted you to go as far away as possible. I only hunt rabbits and deer when I’m…myself, I guess.

“But when it's a full moon, I’m no longer in control. I’m just glad I recognized you before…But Uncle Buck, he hunted all the time, whenever he felt like it.

“And the day he tricked me, and he attacked you…I heard you, Skylar. I heard you scream inside my head. And I felt the fear that was in your heart. And that’s when I knew.”

I was stunned by the words that poured out of him like a flood. But when he didn’t say more, I swallowed and turned his head so I could see his eyes properly.

“That’s when you knew…?”

“Who you were.”

A tear slipped from the corner of his eye, and he turned away and stared at the ceiling. His breath was superficial and irregular like mine, another sign of how upset he was, just talking about it all.

“In this life, I’ve always been a lone wolf. The only reason I stayed with Uncle Buck was because it’s easier to hunt as a team. And when he brought you to our camp that day, I knew it was…” He sighed.

“…to hunt,” I finished. “I was his prey.”

Jared nodded and shut his eyes.

“He’s done it several times before. And I’ve just ignored the whole thing. But when you came…”

He clenched his jaw several times.

“Wolves are monogamous. When we first find someone, we stay with them for the rest of our lives. But when I saw what it did to my father when my mother…I swore I would stay alone my whole life.”

I felt so sad about what he told me. It made so much sense now. But he wasn’t done.

“Buck saw it. He saw that I was head-over-heels in love with you. He knew before I did. But you are a human, Skylar, and all I could see was the same pain that my father went through when he lost my mom.

“And that scared me. That’s why I talked less and less to you. I tried to keep my distance and convince myself that everything would be fine as soon as you were gone.

“But at the same time, I needed to keep you safe from Buck, so I had no choice but to stay close. And I found that there was nothing in the whole world I wanted more than to stay right there by your side.”

Jared was silent for a while, lost in his own thoughts, until I mustered enough courage to ask.

“Your Mom…Was she human like me?”

He smiled sadly but shook his head.

“No. She wasn’t. She was a werewolf, but a little girl who needed help lured her into a house.”

I felt all the hairs on my body rise at once and my blood become cold as ice. “The girl in the blue dress! And the…”

Jared looked at me and both of us knew, even though neither of us wanted to call it what it was: A demon.

“It almost got me, too,” I whispered, and felt a pang of panic that made me start to breathe faster until it turned into a suffocating anxiety attack. It was real! It had been real all along!

Now that I’d just managed to put it behind me, labeling it as wild imagination in a brain that was suffering from physical trauma, shock, and starvation—It was real.

“No…” I sobbed, and Jared pulled me to his chest with both of his arms and stroked my back repeatedly. He didn’t say anything. He just kissed the top of my hair and held me until I calmed down.

“And I thought I was going insane…,” he mumbled.

“What do you mean?”

“Was it the day before the full moon?”

I hummed and sniffled, and wiped away some snot with the corner of the bedsheet. So much for clean sheets…

“I thought it was just me turning into a werewolf combined with my feelings for you. Oh, my God…Skylar. I’m so sorry. I should have been there.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Besides, there was nothing you could have done anyway. I don’t think anyone could have saved me. I still don’t know how I got away. I barely understand what happened.”

“Yeah, but…”

He frowned and stared into the air, like if he was trying to remember something.

“Wait—Nine days ago.” He swallowed and stared out into the air with an expression so serious that I shuddered. “Were you in danger again?”

I didn’t want to tell him. I was afraid he would get angry or more upset than he already was. But I didn’t have to tell him.

“He tried to kill you.”

It was like he could see it all through my eyes, and I could see how he was tense and agitated, until he suddenly started chuckling.

“You stabbed him? With the silver knife?” He kissed my forehead and laughed in relief.

“You fight monsters better than I do, Louve.”

I smirked, partly shy and partly proud. “It’s all thanks to you, Jared. I’m alive because of you.”

He kissed my lips. “And I’m alive because of you,” he stated bluntly, but I just laughed it off.

“It’s true. I didn’t want to live anymore after you left. I’d checked to see that Buck was dead, and I tracked your smell to the river and saw the boat was gone, so I hoped you were all right.

“But even though my injuries healed fast, I knew that my heart would always be broken. I’d become exactly like my father.”

He sighed so his ribcage felt twice as big as normal.

“But then I felt you again, and I have this incredible need to protect you. And now I understand why. It was from him.”

I nodded and pulled myself impossibly closer to his chest.

“And on my way here I figured out a way we can be together without…me being selfish.”

“Selfish?” I lifted my head and captured his eyes, but he was quick to hide the sadness in them.

“I would much rather be happy with you for a short human lifetime, even if it means that I’ll be unhappy like my father after you’re gone.”

The last part of the sentence came out as a whisper, and I could see his lip tremble a bit. It made me think.

“When you were talking about living for centuries, you weren’t kidding, were you?”

Jared shook his head. “Unfortunately, no.”

“So, you’ll live until someone kills you?” I said and was quite startled. But he shook his head calmly.

“No. But a werewolf can get as old as seven to eight hundred years. Some have even turned nine hundred.”

~Wow…!~ “That’s…Well…Uhm…So…”

Jared giggled.

“Just ask, Skylar. How old am I? Two hundred and twenty-six.”

He put up an overly satisfied grin and wiggled his eyebrows.

“I’ll be damned! Talk about an age gap…Don’t ever tell my parents that!” I said and didn’t realize how rude it sounded until I saw him pout. Only playfully, but still.

“I’m sorry. But it’s good to know that you are a young werewolf, then.”

He glanced at me with the most loving eyes a man can give his chosen one, and my heart fluttered so much that I blushed. He was so handsome. What in the world did he see in me?

“So…Our baby. Will it become a werewolf like you?” I asked after a short pause in pleasant silence.

He shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. Like I said, I was planning on going solo, so stuff like that was…”

“Ah, come on. You must have seen several beautiful women stumbling around in the woods when you’ve lived there for over two centuries?”

He pursed his lips and sighed through his nose. He was sad again. “I always looked at them as prey.”

I poked his chest.

“Hey, you. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Just because I’m a pathetic human, doesn’t mean I can’t understand that a werewolf’s life is completely different.”

“You’re not pathetic,” he interrupted, but I pretended to not have heard him.

“Question is, where do we go from here? How do we make this work?”

“I don’t know yet. I just know that I need to be close to you and our baby as long as it’s not full moon.”

I smiled at him. He was literally giving up his life for me. And I knew that if he could, he would probably have given up being a werewolf too.

“I know, but…”

“And I don’t want to take you away from your family. You belong here with them. Not out in the wilderness.”

I felt sad when he said that. There would always be this huge obstacle between us. Who knew how long it would take until he was fed up with going back and forth from Alaska all the time?

Probably not long. It would cost a buttload of money too.

“Louve? Why are you sad?” he asked and searched my eyes. But I didn’t have any answers yet. I just tried to find a compromise we both could live with.

“What if…” My eyes suddenly beamed with determination when I got an idea. “What if I moved to Alaska after the baby’s born?”

Jared was about to object.

“I can live in an apartment near the national park. Then my parents can visit us, and we can live…uhm…civilized, like I’m used to. And you can live the way you’re used to, but we would still be close to each other.”

He was quiet while he stroked my belly, and I felt the little bubble pop inside there again. Maybe it was our little one saying hello to his or her dad.

“Are you sure about that?” he finally asked and studied me in all seriousness. I nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. I knew it would be a lot harder to get an education that way, but hopefully I would manage over time.

“And what do you think your parents will say about that?”

I pursed my lips and made a half-shrug. “No idea. But they’ll understand. After a while. Hopefully.”

Jared sighed deeply. “Do you want me to tell them?”

“Absolutely not! I…Hm. I think I’ll do it when you’re not here. And probably after the baby’s born so they can’t murder either of you.”

We both chuckled and hugged again, and my thigh accidentally touched his bulge. He was hard, and I knew he had been for a while.

“I’m sorry,” I said and hid my face in embarrassment.

“Just pretend it’s not there,” he said, equally embarrassed. But my mind had already started drifting back to earlier.

“Are you sure?” I asked with a very suggestive squint. I could see it had an effect on him, because he clenched his jaw several times and swallowed hard.

“I promised your father.”

I groaned, but knew he was right. Being caught after sex is one thing, but I’d seriously die if my parents entered my room ~during~.

I gave him a goodnight kiss and closed my eyes while I dragged in his smell, and smiled to myself when he did the same.

“I love you, Jared,” I mumbled.

“I love you too, my Louve.”

And not long after, we’d both drifted off to sleep.