Chapter 20

The next day, I wasn’t able to convince Graham to change the day or time of the date. I also couldn’t discern any details regarding it. Graham was a closed vault.

“What kind of date are you taking me on?” I asked him in the hallway. He had my books in one arm and my hand in his other one. “Are you planning to bury someone? Because that’s not the type of date I’d call fun.”

Graham looked down at me with an amused face. “It isn’t. Try at least to have an open mind, baby.”

“Graham!” That didn’t sound reassuring at all.

I knew he was kidding. Or, at least, I hoped. I knew Graham was capable of doing lots of things, according to his crazy stories. Was he going to create a night to remember with embarrassment?

I gulped.

“I need to know where we are going,” I pressed.

“Anywhere you want.”

I frowned. “That doesn’t work. Most places will be closed by then. Also, what should I wear?”

“As little as possible.” He cast me a smirk, running his tongue over his lips.

My spine stiffened and my muscles clenched.

I removed my hand from his and threw him a serious stare. “It’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking.”

“Tell me or I’m not going.”

“I’m not scared of dragging you out of bed. I like your skimpy pajamas and I don’t mind the fight,” he said, and my eyes widened. Then he chuckled. “Relax, I’m joking.”

I shook my head.

“Come on, baby,” he said, grabbing my hand again. “I promise you’ll like it.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “It doesn’t involve anything illegal, right?”

“It doesn’t,” he said. “But that depends—”

~Oh, my God!~ “Graham!”

“It depends on if we get caught. Which we won’t.”

“I’m not going,” I declared, trying to take my books from Graham’s muscular arms. But he didn’t release them. He grabbed my waist instead and chuckled at me.

“It’s funny how we can joke about anything but irresponsibility. The mere mention of breaking the rules gets you all wired up,” he pointed out. His face was full of fondness. “You’re adorable.”

I tried not to melt at his charming dimples. I resumed frowning at him. “Stop messing with my head.”

“We are not going to injure anyone or steal anything. Relax.”

“Are we doing drugs?” I asked. “Or selling them?”

“No, baby.” He chortled. “Nothing like that. You have to stop reading fiction.”

My overactive mind was capable of imagining Graham as the leader of an underground fight club. It could explain his muscles as well. Football could be a façade for something else.

I pressed my lips together to stop the protest as he kissed my cheek and handed me my books. I was far from appeased.

“I’ll see you tonight at ten p.m., okay? Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

I didn’t say anything else.

Deep in my gut, I believed him; however, it didn’t stop my worrying.

***

It was nine fifty-five p.m. when Graham sent me a message.

~I’m here.~

I went downstairs without making much sound. Dad was asleep, but he was a heavy sleeper like me. Mom was out at work again. I wondered how many night shifts she’d have to cover until she could take a break. They took a toll on her; I could see it from the bags under her eyes.

I decided to wear something casual, even though I still didn’t know where we were going and what we were doing. I wore sneakers in case we needed to run because apparently, we couldn’t get caught.

I was going to kill Graham.

As I descended the stairs, something came into my mind. Were we spraying graffiti? It sounded tempting but scary. Or getting a tattoo? I mean, it wasn’t illegal, but if my parents found out…not great.

The more I overthought everything, the less inclined I was to open the door and leave. However, I pushed myself into exiting my happy comfort zone and skipping to Graham’s car.

I hopped in and turned to Graham. He had a sweet, not mischievous or devilish smile, which was reassuring. He started driving. No music on, windows down. The breeze of the night was cool against my skin and my heart was beating wildly.

The moment left me speechless. I liked the silence and Graham seemed to think the same thing since he never opened his mouth as he drove us around, but the silence also kept my head spinning, overthinking the outcome of the date. We entered the interstate and drove a few miles north. There were few cars, with nothing to slow us down. We exited and drove up a small hill to an empty field.

The field was surrounded by a few trees, and you could see the ocean from here, or that was what I thought. Everything was dark, save for the starry night. If I were calmer, I would gape at the view. It was mesmerizing.

But I kept twisting my hands over my sweater instead.

“Let me guess,” I managed to croak. “You are dropping me off the cliff.” I was teasing to lighten the mood but couldn’t stop my brain from freaking out.

Graham turned to me with amusement on his face. “Is this you with an open mind?” He shook his head. “Hazel, you have to relax, or you won’t enjoy the date.”

~What is there to enjoy? The overthinking? The fact that I might destroy my favorite sweater spraying graffiti, even though there aren’t any walls to vandalize? Or that my parents might find out I did something illegal or marked my body with permanent ink? Nothing is enjoyable when you are in the dark, thinking the worst—~

“Breathe in slowly, and then out,” he said. I managed to follow his instructions. “Come here.” He patted his thighs and I frowned at him but didn’t question. I unfastened my seatbelt and climbed onto Graham’s lap. He positioned the seat back, giving me more space to settle. I sat on his lap, facing the front. His big chest was behind me, radiating warmth. Graham’s arms came around me and landed on my legs. His face was over my shoulder and my butt was snuggled against his cock. I was aware of his growing erection. My breathing came faster.

“Do you trust me, Miller?” he whispered, and I shuddered, feeling his breath ruffling my hair.

I hesitated for a brief second before nodding.

He grabbed my hands and put them on the steering wheel. “I noticed you don’t drive.”

“I don’t know how,” I confessed. Dad didn’t have the time to teach me, and I was swarmed with schoolwork, swimming practice, and shifts at Ashton’s. I didn’t mind walking, though, and Melissa took me around.

Next year, I’d have to amend that, though. College was a different matter.

“You don’t know what you’re missing,” he continued. “But tonight, you drive.”

I scowled at him. Didn’t he hear the part where I said I didn’t know how?

“There’s nothing hard about it,” he reassured me. I was far from reassured.

“I can’t reach the pedals,” I protested.

“I’ll handle them,” he answered. “You’re in charge of the steering wheel. I bet you know how.”

I pressed my lips together.

“You can’t always control everything. You have to trust me too,” he said, and I had a feeling he was talking about something else other than the car. However, I didn’t have a clear headspace to think about it. “Ready?” he asked.

I wasn’t. This didn’t sound like a good idea, but I nodded. I had a feeling Graham wasn’t dropping it.

He put the car in drive and started pressing the pedal slowly as we rounded the cliff for a while. It felt daunting and my hands were shaking, but I managed to keep breathing in slowly.

He slowed down while we were turning. As we drove more, I felt more secure. Then he told me to drive down the cliff and onto the highway around the coast.

Every second that passed, Graham pressed the pedal deeper.

We were rushing on the highway, the air fanning our faces. Something mixed with anxiety mingled in my chest and I started laughing hard. A rush of adrenaline.

We could only hear our laughter, the air, and the motor speeding down the highway. Even though it was dangerous and illegal, I didn’t feel unsafe with Graham’s body tangled around mine.

Finally, Graham asked me to drive back to the cliff. We moved slowly up, reaching the field. He stopped.

His arms wrapped around my waist. “Did you like it?”

“It was great.” ~Crazy, maddening, anxious, but great. ~

He smiled and kissed my shoulder. “Let’s go.”

He opened the door and waited for me to climb out of the car. He hopped off and moved to the truck, where he fetched a blanket and food. He had white chocolate this time.

“White chocolate and watching the stars?” I teased him.

He grinned at me a bit sheepishly.

“This is incredibly romantic,” I followed him to an open space where he settled the blanket down and tossed the white chocolate on top. “Have you ever done this before?” I asked as I sat down beside him. I didn’t know why I asked it; I didn’t want to ruin the night. I was curious, though.

“No,” he confessed. “You’re my first one.”

The admission left me hot and breathless.

He opened the white chocolate and fed me while kissing me. After a moment, we started making out under the stars. He started to remove my clothes, kissing me everywhere like he couldn’t get enough. He removed his clothes too, until we were naked.

The friction of our bare skin was delicious and breathtaking.

Graham kissed me harder. I felt every muscle press against my body. His chest was squeezing my breasts, his abs were against my stomach, and our thighs were tangled.

“I want you so much, baby,” he groaned between kisses. His hands groped my back and butt.

“Graham,” I whimpered as he kissed my nipples and brushed my clit with his finger. I squirmed, on the edge, when Graham parted my legs and settled between them. I felt his hot erection against my core.

His tongue continued lavishing my skin, around my breasts and under. He nipped and sucked like he couldn’t get enough. I arched my back with a gasp. One of his arms wrapped behind my back, lifting my hips.

I rubbed my hips against him until I felt his tip on my entrance against my pussy, and I stopped.

“Fuck,” Graham groaned, throwing his head forward. His grip on me tightened, afraid of letting me go. “You feel so good, baby.”

It felt good, but I wasn’t ready yet. For the past few years, I’d thought about waiting until marriage. Everything felt fast, even though I was tempted. ~Very, very~ tempted.

“Graham,” I said, moving my hips away.

I gasped when I felt him tracing his cock all over my entrance and inserting a bit. “You are so wet,” he growled. His eyes were shining with desire. “I swear, it’ll hurt for a moment, but I promise it’ll feel much better. You’ll see.”

I believed him, but still wasn’t ready to give in yet. Our relationship was recent, despite all we’d done so far.

“Not yet,” I gasped as I felt the walls inside my channel clenching.

“What?” He frowned. He seemed out of a fog, confused.

“Too fast,” I managed to say as his tip entered another inch. It was amazing, the stretching and filling of an inexplicable emptiness. “You said…we could go slow.” My throat was dry. It was harder to keep my mind on the topic at hand than on the delicious stretch between my legs.

My chest was heaving against his. His weight on my body made it harder to breathe.

Graham stopped at the realization. He dropped his head forward, between my shoulder and neck. He buried his face there. I felt his tip inside but unmoving.

Graham’s grip was tight as he breathed hard, composing himself. Any slight movement and he could lose control.

“I swear it is you who’s trying to kill me,” he muttered. I was sure he didn’t mean to say it out loud.

I bit my lip, breathing hard.

“Fuck,” he managed to say after a moment and rolled off me. He shut his eyes and pressed an arm over his chest. The sight was familiar. “Sorry about that. Got carried away, again,” he said and cursed more and more.

I suddenly felt cold without his warmth and weight on top of me. I pressed my thighs together, aching for the release. Graham looked the same.

“We don’t have to stop entirely,” I managed to say, feeling my cheeks blushing. “We can do…other stuff.” I didn’t know why I felt sheepish saying it. It wasn’t like we hadn’t done anything before.

Graham removed his arm and looked at me. His eyes were dark. He swallowed. “I don’t—”

“I want to try something,” I confessed.