Chapter 4

The following three weeks had to be the most thrilling and exhilarating of Cassie's life. Her adventure had begun on the morning after his departure from Hadlands, when Major Ellington had left her a note in the prearranged place, behind the loose brick in the wall of the churchyard. Her heart had raced with excitement and anticipation as she read the brief message detailing the arrangements of their first assignation. He would be sending Lord Melrose's carriage, to the North entrance of Highfields to collect her that very afternoon and bring her to a place where they could be alone and not disturbed.

Cassie felt no guilt or shame as she climbed into the grand looking carriage, her heart just fluttered with anticipation. Once she had seated herself, on the plush velvet seat, she noticed a small parcel on the bench opposite her. She picked it up and read the attached note. "Dear Cass," it said, "please accept this gift as a token of my undying gratitude."

She untied the red ribbon, that fastened the box together, and opened it slowly. She almost cried when she saw what was inside: it was a small silver heart-shaped locket. Cassie knew that the gift itself was not expensive, but to her, someone who had received very few gifts during her life; it was beautiful. And, at that moment, she fell a little more in love with him.

When the carriage had stopped, and Ellington had opened the door and helped Cassie out, she smiled at him. 'Oh Stephan,' she said as she touched the locket lightly with her fingers, 'it is beautiful. I will treasure it forever.'

'I am glad you like it, my dear,' he said as he took her in his arms and kissed her, 'come in, I have more surprises for you inside.'

Over the next three weeks, Cassie had met with Ellington nearly every afternoon in the folly situated in Lord Melrose's estate. During the afternoons they spent together, he introduced her to the finer things of life; he brought to the folly bottles of expensive champagne; he gave her beautiful silk stockings and other exquisite lace undergarments; he also gave her a small bottle of French perfume. He had made her feel, for the first time in her life, like the sophisticated woman of the world she always dreamt of becoming.

Cassie was young and naïve and mistook all the gifts he had given her as a sign of his love and affection. She thought that each gift had been given to her as a token of a future commitment they would be sharing. Never, not even in her wildest dreams, did she ever imagine that he was toying with her emotions, and using her feelings for him as though they were pieces in a game of chess. Where the end of the game signalled her ruin and ultimate humiliation.

During the second week, Cassie noticed that his moods became erratic. The constant stream of gifts that Cassie had always looked forward to receiving had started to wane. However, what worried Cassie, more than the absence of gifts, was that he would often not even talk to her. She missed, most of all, their conversations and the tenderness of his caress. His once gentle touch had been replaced by something that was far rougher and more possessive: and, it terrified her.

'Are you quite well?' She had asked him the first time it had happened, her voice a little shaky from the shock of his rough physical treatment of her.

Cassie had recoiled, as his expression became dark and foreboding, and his eyes became hard as flint.

'What business is it of yours?' he had snarled.

As she looked at him, looming over her as she lay on the cold stone floor, for the first time she felt ashamed of her state of undress. She gathered together the bodice of her dress and pulled it up to cover her shame. Ever since she had arrived, she had known that there had been something wrong. He had not greeted her with his usual tenderness; instead, he had grabbed her arms and thrown her to the floor. Cassie had tried to push him away with the palms of her hands, but he was too strong.

'I only asked you what was wrong,' she replied looking down, pulling up the bodice of the dress he had ripped in the struggle, 'I am only worried about you.'

He bent down, took hold of her shoulders and shook her hard, 'I told you, it is none of your business.'

His fingers dug painfully into her arms, and she cried out in pain. 'Stephan, Stephan, you are hurting me again. Please let me go,' she said weakly as she began to cry.

His expression became even more threatening. 'Stop it,' he had said as he slapped her hard on the cheek. 'I cannot abide a woman who cries.'

Cassie immediately stopped crying. It was the first time in her life that anyone had ever hit her. Even her father, who was famous for having a short temper, had never used force to discipline her. Cassie, her eyes still wet with tears, put her hand up against her cheek and looked at him in disbelief. How could someone, who had been so kind and gentle, change so suddenly?

'Now look what you have made me do,' Ellington said, a softer tone had replaced his harsh voice. He sat next to her on the floor and put his arm around her shoulder. 'Cass, you must never question me. Is that understood?'

She looked up at him shyly. 'Yes, I understand.'

'You do love me, don't you?' He said as he put his hand on her head and caressed her hair.

Cassie nodded.

'You see, my dear,' he said seriously, 'I expect loyalty from those who are closest to me. And loyalty, in your case, means that you should never question me.'

'Yes, Stephan,' she said weakly as she buried her head in his shoulder, 'I understand, but...'

He pushed her away, and then growled, 'but what?'

'You hurt me,' she said, her eyes still downcast, 'and I did not like it.

'If you do not want to see me anymore, then...' he said as he stood up and walked towards the door, 'I will take my leave, and you will never see me again.'

'No,' Cassie cried out in despair, 'I did not say that. I do love you. Please do not go.'

He turned back towards her and crouched in front of her. 'Then you must never question me. Is that understood?'

She nodded. 'Yes, Stephan, I will never question you again.'

'Cass,' he said, the tenderness in his voice returning. He sat back down again next to her and put his arm around her shoulder. 'If I did hurt you, I am sorry. It is just that I have experienced so much death and destruction. Now I am back home, I sometimes find it difficult to...' He put his head down before finishing his sentence.

Cassie put her hand on his shoulder, 'I understand,' she said softly, 'I really do. I never want to be a burden to you. And, I will never question you again.'

Despite the change in their relationship and the ever-present possibility that he would treat her harshly once more, Cassie continued to meet him at the folly. She had convinced herself that she loved him, and, more importantly, that he loved her. On the first night they had met, she had given him the most precious gift she possessed. A gift that she knew should have been reserved for her future husband on their wedding night. But Cassie, in her youth and naivety, had genuinely thought that he would indeed be her intended. Otherwise, she would have never have gone to him. And why should she doubt him? At nearly every meeting he continued to mention his forthcoming marriage. Surely, he would not have done that, if she was not his intended bride.

Cassie was aware that her sister was becoming continually suspicious of her whereabouts. In order to quash these suspicions, Cassie had solicited the help of her best friend. Miss Taylor, the vicar's daughter, was the same age as Cassie and they had spent a good deal of time together as children before Cassie had gone away to school. Miss Taylor was a hopeless romantic, who, just like Cassie, longed for a story-book hero to come and take her away from her dreary life. She had immediately agreed to help her friend deceive her sister, and the pair of them had concocted a story, regarding Cassie's absences from home.

Cassie knew, that once she had married Ellington, Verity, her sister, would soon forgive her indiscretions. Verity would be free from the obligation of her familial commitments, as her new husband, Major Ellington, would be able to take full responsibility for the Stanford family's affairs. Her sister would also have the luxury of never having to work again. Cassie had convinced herself that when she was married, she would be able, with the help of Ellington, to find a husband for Verity.

It was on some morning three weeks after her first meeting with Ellington. Verity, for once, had been happy. Earlier that morning, she had told Cassie that their family's problems had been solved. The debt that Cassie knew existed, but Verity refused to discuss, had been repaid. Not only was her brother no longer in financial trouble, but he had money to invest in the estate. Just after luncheon, Verity had left Hadlands on the afternoon stage so that she could meet with the solicitors in Bath, to arrange her brother's affairs. She would not return to Hadlands, she would just travel back to Bristol to resume teaching at the school.

The two sisters had had a rather emotional parting. Verity thought that her sister would shortly travel to Scotland to begin her new life as a governess. Cassie did not want to tell her that her future lay in a different direction. Within a few weeks, she would be married, and their circumstances would drastically change. Cassie shut her eyes to imagine the look of surprise on Verity's face when she would visit her at the school in the next few weeks, fresh from her honeymoon as the new Mrs Ellington.

Cassie was pursuing this thought when she heard the sound of a carriage on the drive. She watched its progress, puzzled by the identity of its occupant.

The carriage stopped at the porch, and to her delight, the subject of her daydream alighted onto the driveway. She immediately ran out of the room towards the front door. Once she had opened the door, Cassie ran towards him. 'Oh Stephan,' she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck, 'you have come for me, at last.'

He removed her hands from around his neck, 'Cass,' he said solemnly, 'we must talk.'

'Please, come in,' she said as she took his arm and guided him into the house, 'Verity has gone, and we have the place to ourselves.'

Cassie led him, in silence, to the drawing-room and motioned towards the love seat where they had shared their first kiss. Once they were both seated, she turned towards him and held both his hands. 'Stephan,' she said, at last breaking the silence, 'you look awfully tired. Did you get any sleep last night?'

Ellington continued to stare blankly at the fire. 'Stephan,' she said, now with a touch of desperation in her voice, 'please tell me what is wrong?'

'Oh Cass,' he said in despair, 'I have to leave today before it is too late.'

'What has happened? Why do you have to leave?' Cassie answered quickly.

'I have been foolish and reckless. Everything is ruined and by my own hands. I am so sorry.'

As she looked at his face, she could see tears welling up in his eyes. Then she noticed, for the first time, a purple bruise under his left eye. She lifted up her hand and gently touched it with her fingertips. She saw him flinch as she delicately traced the outline of the bruise. 'Who did this to you?' She said as she continued to caress his cheek, 'please tell me.'

'I cannot,' he said as he took hold of her hand and brought it back to her lap. He kissed her on the cheek and said, 'I only came to say goodbye.'

As he stood up to leave, Cassie could see that her carefully constructed castle of dreams was crumbling away. He was leaving, and she would never see him again. It was at this moment, the moment when she thought all was lost, she realised how much she loved him. Her future that had been full of happiness and contentment was beginning to feel empty and devoid of meaning. As he walked across the room, towards the door, she realised that she would not let him go without a fight. Whatever the consequences of her decision, she had to stop him from leaving her.

Cassie ran across the room. She grabbed him by the arm and said desperately, 'do not go.' Then she pleaded. 'Please, Stephan, please do not go. I beg you.'

He drew her close and put his chin on the top of her head. 'I must,' he whispered, 'but you are making it very difficult for me to leave.'

'Then do not go,' she said burying her head in his shoulder, 'or, at least, take me with you.'

'You will soon change your mind when you hear how foolish I have been.'

'You must let me decide, whether I think you are foolish or not,' Cassie said defiantly.

Ellington nodded in agreement. 'I will tell you everything and let you decide,' he said as he led her back to the love seat. Once they were seated next to each other, he took her hand in his and looked directly into her eyes. 'Ever since I came back to England, after my injury, I have been in a good deal of pain. My left side, as you well know, was badly wounded and I may never be able to walk without a limp. It was also a blow to discover that my injuries would prevent me from returning to the front line. It was a life that I enjoyed. And I am full of guilt and regret, knowing that I will not be able to return and fight alongside my comrades.'

He stopped and bowed his head. 'When I returned to England, a broken man, I began to drink. I only drank to dull the constant pain.'

'There is no shame in that,' Cassie said breaking the silence. 'If that is all, I...'

He silenced her by squeezing her hand. 'No, Cass, that is not all.' He looked into her eyes and said, 'the more I drank, the more money I spent. My family is not wealthy, and I have no additional income apart from my pension. I quickly spent any money I did have, until I had nothing.'

'If this is about money,' Cassie interrupted, 'you do know I do not care for it. I would be happy living on a shoestring as long as it is with you.'

'Oh, Cass, if only it were just the money,' he said with a sigh. 'I needed to pay off my immediate debts, so I took out a loan. Instead of paying my creditors, I gambled with it. At first, I won, and I soon had enough to pay back the debt. But I was foolish and thought I could place just one more wager. I knew if I won, I would then have enough money to buy a small estate and retire to the country. It would have been perfect. I would no longer be dependent on my family, and I would have enough income to support a wife.'

'Did you lose all the money?' She asked in a whisper.

'Yes, I lost everything. That is why I came to the country to visit my cousin. I came because I could not pay the debt. I was going to ask my cousin's help to disappear and start a new life. Then I met you, and that changed everything.'

'Your cousin is wealthy,' she answered him, 'surely he can pay back the debt.'

He shook his head. 'The amount I owe is too large. I could not ask him to pay the full amount. It would not be honourable. Anyway, last night he found me and...'

'Who found you?' Cassie said with a gasp of horror.

'The man who originally lent me the money,' he answered shaking his head.

'Did they do this to you?' she said, as she touched his black eye tenderly.

He flinched as she touched it, and then he nodded. 'Yes, my past has well and truly caught up with me. And I have to find a way to pay them back quickly.'

'How will you do that?' she asked, 'you have no money.'

'I will think of something. I always do,' he sighed in resignation, 'but now, I must be on my way.'

He got up to leave once more, but she grabbed onto his sleeve in desperation. 'No, no, you must not go,' she cried, 'there must be a way we could pay them back. I could ask my brother. He has recently come into some money.'

'My dear, dear, lovely Cass,' he said holding her close to his chest. He kissed her gently and said, 'I do not deserve you. However, I doubt very much that your brother and his guardians would be able, or even willing, to lend the amount I need.'

'There must be something I can do,' she said, as she grabbed the collar of his coat, desperately trying to stop him from leaving. Cassie knew that if he left, through that door, he would be gone forever. 'I would do anything for you, my love. Anything.' She cried out, both her hands had grasped onto the collar of his jacket, and her knuckles had turned white.

Ellington stopped. 'Oh! my dear,' he said, still holding her close, 'I know you would, but...'

She interrupted him, cupping his cheeks with her hands, 'I love you, Stephan. I do not care what trouble you are in, or how you managed to get yourself into it. I just want to help you.' Tears began to well up in her eyes as she said, 'tell me what I must do. I could not bear to see you go.'

He took her hands and brought them down to his lap. 'I must go, my dear, I must... Goodbye, Cass.' Ellington turned his back on her and began to walk towards the door.

Cassie felt like her heart had been torn into little pieces. The man she loved and adored was about to leave, and she would never see his face again. She cried out again in desperation. 'Please, Stephan, there must be something I can do. I will do anything.'

Ellington stopped, and with his back still to her, and his head bowed, 'you could help me, but... No, I cannot, it is asking too much of you.'

'Tell me, Stephan, let me decide for myself,' Cassie pleaded through her tears.

He turned around and grasped her by the shoulders. 'If you agree to help me now, and do everything I say, there will be no turning back. Never.'

'Oh Stephan,' she said again through her tears. 'Of course, I will do anything to help you rid yourself of this debt and these horrid people. What do you want me to do?'

He held her close one more time. 'I am afraid, I will be asking far too much of you. Are you sure you would do anything for me?'

'Yes! Of course,' Cassie said burying her head in his shoulder. 'What must I do?'

'There is a man at Highfields,' he began, 'the man that threatened me last night. He has seen you walking around the estate in my company. He told me that he would cancel part of the debt if you would...' He stopped and held her close once more. 'No, I cannot possibly...' he said shaking his head. 'I told him you were not for sale.'

'What does he want me to do?' Cassie asked. She had stopped crying, and her voice was returning back to normal.

'Go to Highfields, tonight, and stay the night with him.'

Cassie left the comfort of his arms and walked towards the fire. She stared at the flames for several minutes and then wrapped her arms around herself, clutching the tops of her shoulders with her fingers. She then took a deep breath and nodded. 'I will go.'

'But, Cass, do you know what I ask of you?'

'Of course,' she said coolly, 'I may be fresh out of the schoolroom, but I am not that innocent schoolgirl you met only a few weeks ago. It is not as though I am still a virgin.'

'You would do this for me?' He asked, as he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

'I told you, Stephan, I love you, and I would do anything to help you.' Cassie said as she melted into his embrace.

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