Chapter 807: Consoled (2)

“We have to go to bed already?”

Kang Jin-Ho nodded. “Yeah, you must.”

“But I wanna play more~.”

“No, you can’t.”

“Why not?”

Kang Jin-Ho was left momentarily speechless.

Despite not possessing a gift of gab, he still believed he'd not lose to anyone when it came to making logical arguments. But a little child innocently hitting him in blindspots still left him flustered and uncertain.

Kang Jin-Ho quickly thought of something to say. “Well, you gotta go to bed early so you can wake up early tomorrow.”

“But why do I have to get up early?"

“So you can get ready alongside everyone and have breakfast together.”

“Do I have to eat breakfast?”

Kang Jin-Ho grew a little paler, sweat beads forming on his forehead. “That’s the only way you can grow taller, you know? And healthier, too.”

“I don’t like being tall, though?”

“...Is that right?” Kang Jin-Ho forced himself to reply, then shifted his pleading gaze to his side.

The orphanage caregiver putting the children to bed noticed Kang Jin-Ho’s gaze and did her best to hide her cramped smile. She walked up and lightly picked up the unwilling child.

While watching the little demon moving away from him, Kang Jin-Ho sighed in defeat.

‘I prefer fighting over this…’

Kang Jin-Ho would grow unbelievably weak while ‘confronting’ opponents he couldn’t physically fight back.

The caregiver auntie spoke to Kang Jin-Ho. “It’s okay now, Mister Jin-Ho. We’ll look after the children.”

“No, uh, I…”

“The truth is, the children are unwilling to go to bed because they have someone to play with.”

“Oh…” Kang Jin-Ho nodded slowly, then sneakily scanned his surroundings. All the children under the blankets were staring back at him with sparkling eyes.

At this rate, they might stay awake for the next hour, maybe more!

“M-mm, in that case…”

Kang Jin-Ho cautiously got up to leave, but that prompted one of the little girls to shove aside her blanket and jump up to her feet.

“Oppa!”

“Y-yeah?”

“Are you gonna go home now?”

Kang Jin-Ho immediately grew awkward after a new realization hit him.

‘Ah. It’s not that they wanted to play for longer…’

He thought the kids wanted to play, and that was why they were staying awake. However, that wasn't it. They were actually scared of Kang Jin-Ho going away while they were asleep.

Kang Jin-Ho patted the little girl on the head. “Nah. I’m staying here tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here tomorrow, too.”

“Okay!”

The girl energetically nodded, then lied down obediently before pulling the blanket up.

“Okay! I gotta sleep quickly now! Let’s sleep!”

“Okay!”

Other kids seemed relieved as well, judging from their voices. They obediently tucked themselves in and closed their eyes. Kang Jin-Ho chuckled wryly at this sight before exiting the room.

Clack…

Kang Jin-Ho cautiously closed the door and headed to the living room, but not before glancing back at the doorway with a contemplative look on his face. Behind that closed doorway… Those children should drift off to sleep soon.

‘Things are now a little different from the past.’

In the past, Kang Jin-Ho didn't have much trouble handling these kids. Not because he possessed a noteworthy parenting skill, though. Since he was usually stern-faced and sometimes emitted a people-crushing aura, children naturally obeyed him without raising a fuss.

That was because… He was scary! Not scary enough to make the children burst into tears, no, but still just enough to make them squeamish in his presence. It was the same principle as being wary about approaching a muzzled vicious dog despite knowing it couldn't hurt anyone.

Children were also more sensitive toward qi, so they would've found Kang Jin-Ho even more scary to speak to. That was why he could handle these young children without too many issues.

However, what about now?

‘I’m dying here…’

If he carried a child in his arms, they'd start pulling at his hair and pinch his face. Some of them even headbutted Kang Jin-Ho in the butt, too. And... What about those who clung to his pants and wailed nonstop?

A massive army of one million-strong shouting at the same time still wouldn't have created a commotion this disorientating! However, this development also indicated that these children had become a lot more comfortable with Kang Jin-Ho's presence now.

It didn't take a genius to figure out which of the two situations was better.

A genuinely-pleased grin floated up on Kang Jin-Ho's face. The kids being scared of him, like in the past, could've made his life a little bit easier, but he wouldn't have felt this way. Acquiring something in return for losing something else—that was one of the indisputable laws of the world.

Kang Jin-Ho leisurely strode outside the orphanage building, then settled on one of the park benches some distance away. He looked up to find the pitch-black night sky above.

Even without any stars, this night sky still looked back at him with somewhat gentle eyes.

Even though Kang Jin-Ho didn't have to look up in the sky in longing anymore, he still felt nostalgic for some reason.

Maybe it was par for the course for him. He spent almost a century longing for this starless night sky, after all. And it had been less than a decade since he started looking at this night sky, which wasn't long enough for someone like him to get over such nostalgia.

Click…

Kang Jin-Ho mouthed a cigarette and lit it up with a lighter. He slowly sucked in the unhealthy smoke and let it fill his lungs. And then, the gray smoke leaked out of his mouth to drift away in the night's breeze, eventually disappearing into the ether.

It felt like he had finally found his answer.

Although he was still unsure of what he should do, coming here helped Kang Jin-Ho feel a little more at ease with himself.

‘Gratitude, was it…?’

Kang Jin-Ho forcibly suppressed the corners of his lips from curling up.

It wasn't because he was unhappy, though. If he allowed himself to become too pleased with someone thanking him… Kang Jin-Ho feared that he'd instantly morph into a man who only did all these nice things to the orphanage just to hear the words of gratitude.

Regardless of the children's reactions and responses, Kang Jin-Ho believed he must remain the same. Even the tiniest little hint of him expecting something in return would force these kids to think about how to show their gratitude.

There might be no one around him right now, but he should still do his absolute best to keep himself in check. There was a limit to how much he could hide. In order to convincingly fool everyone, one must fool himself first.

Kang Jin-Ho took out his phone and tapped on the familiar number. He wordlessly stared at the phone’s screen until the call got through.

-You know, it’s kinda old hat to greet you with, 'What a big surprise! You called me first, Mister Jin-Ho!'

Wouldn’t you agree?

“…”

What Choi Yeon-Ha said just now also didn't seem all that appropriate as a greeting over the phone, though…?

“Kuh-hum. I wasn’t sure if you were still awake, Miss Yeon-Ha.”

-I'm pretty sure that's not what you should say after calling me first, Mister Jin-Ho. Of course I'm not asleep yet. Don't you know what the three elements of a successful actress are? It's insomnia, nervous breakdown, and irrational irritability.

“...That sounds problematic.”

-I’ve been trying to be less irritable lately, though.

“I’m relieved to hear that.”

-You’re supposed to praise me, not feel relieved.

“...Of course, you did well.”

-Geez, you’re totally hopeless…

Kang Jin-Ho could hear Choi Yeon-Ha’s laughter over the phone. Her voice helped to soothe his mind even more.

-Okay, so! I wonder what made you so gloomy this time.

“I’m sorry?”

-I'd love to say your voice alone is enough to figure out what's what with you, but… That's not really true, so… The thing is, you never call me first unless something serious has happened to you.

Kang Jin-Ho clamped his mouth shut. Choi Yeon-Ha was right. He only called her whenever a problem was troubling him.

“That is, uh…"

-It's fine. You don't have to cook up an excuse. It's not like I'm unhappy, you know? Remember what we talked about the last time? This much is totally understandable, you see? And when I thought about it… This arrangement isn't actually all that bad for me.

“Really?”

-It means so much for someone to look for you whenever he’s in trouble, don’t you agree? Doesn’t that mean, I’m like your mom? To think you’d think so highly of me, Mister Jin-Ho! I’m deeply moved. Moved, I tell you.

“…”

How far was she thinking of taking this joke?

‘No, wait a minute.’

Maybe Choi Yeon-Ha's observation was right, in a way. Even if he was facing some kind of a problem, Kang Jin-Ho never thought of talking to his mother about it. As a matter of fact, the people he'd seek out for advice were Jo Gyu-Min, Park Yu-Min, and Choi Yeon-Ha. That was about it.

‘Wow. I’ve been a terrible son.’

A hint of guilty conscience sneaked into Kang Jin-Ho's thoughts just then. However, he didn't think he'd change his ways anytime soon as he loathed the idea of making his mother worry.

“In any case, I’m sorry for bothering you like this.”

-Let’s not waste time with unnecessary apologies, okay? Okay, so! What troubles you this time, Mister Jin-Ho? There, there. Don’t sweat about a thing and tell this noona everything, okay~?

‘Noona, is it…?’

Kang Jin-Ho chuckled softly. Maybe Choi Yeon-Ha really believed that was the case.

“Well, what happened was…”

Kang Jin-Ho began explaining his situation, although he took his time doing so.

***

-Are you an idiot?

“…”

Kang Jin-Ho's horizons had been broadened lately.

As far as renown and the number of people who knew him were concerned, the current Kang Jin-Ho couldn't even hold a candle to his past Zhongyuan self. His title of Crimson Heavenly Demon Emperor alone was enough to send a powerful shiver throughout the vast land of Zhongyuan back then!

Such was his impact that people often said they'd heard about the demon emperor but not the actual emperor of the nation. So, in terms of influence on the world at large, Kang Jin-Ho of now would never match up to his past self.

Even so, Kang Jin-Ho still believed his horizons were broadening in the modern era. As it turned out, it didn’t matter how many knew you. No, what mattered was how many people wanted to know more about you.

There was no meaning to your name and renown spreading everywhere one-sidedly. One's horizons could only be broadened by how many people they could interact with on a more personal basis.

In that sense, Kang Jin-Ho's life had become a looot more ‘broadened’ than ever before. He had come into contact with many, many people, and they were all happy to spend their precious time talking to him, after all.

Back in the past, Kang Jin-Ho only had Azure Demon to chat with, so it was no exaggeration to say his horizons had broadened dozens of times in this life.

Even then… Only one person within this broad horizon could speak to Kang Jin-Ho this way. And that was Choi Yeon-Ha!

-Why are you worrying about something like that, Mister Jin-Ho?

“I’m sorry?”

-That’s what other people are for.

“…?” Kang Jin-Ho furrowed his brow after failing to understand Choi Yeon-Ha. Why would other people worry about Kang Jin-Ho’s problem?

-Okay, listen closely, Mister Jin-Ho!

“I’m listening.”

-I’m an actor, okay?

“I’m… sorry?”

Why was she bringing that up here? Kang Jin-Ho was puzzled, but Choi Yeon-Ha didn’t give his confusion a chance to grow by explaining herself first.

-An actor's job is to act, Mister Jin-Ho. But it's not as straightforward as that. An actor's real job is to be a part of a production. And an actor's acting simply exists as a tool to fulfill their role. With me so far?

“Yes.”

-A production can only be completed when many elements come together. Scripts, filming, the director's vision, even the marketing… As you can imagine, there aren't a lot of places an actor can butt in during this process. Even if I produce my finest performance, a dumbass director will still ruin the production. Even if we managed to produce something amazing, terrible marketing will still screw everything up, and we won't get to recoup our investments.

“Mm…”

Kang Jin-Ho understood what she was saying, but what did this have to do with his situation?

-In that case, what do you think I must do to ensure the production's success?

“...Oh.” Kang Jin-Ho clamped his mouth shut.

-Yes, it's to act. That's all I can do. Imagine what might happen if I interfere with what the director is doing and raise my voice because I'm obsessed with success at any cost. Or change the screenplay because I didn't like the angle of some shots. Or barge into the marketing team's meeting and shout at them to spend more money. What do you think will happen if I do that?

“...Mm. Your hidden personality will be revealed to the world?”

-There’s nothing wrong with my personality, you dummy!

‘Oh? That wasn’t the right answer?’

Kang Jin-Ho began sweating bullets and searched for what to say next, only for his phone to spit out Choi Yeon-Ha's flushed voice at a rapid rate.

-The production will go down the drain, okay? The drain! Lots of actors did exactly that only to film a turkey and become pariahs in the industry, never to get another job again. But those people didn't butt in because they have rubbish personalities, you know?

Choi Yeon-Ha took a brief pause before setting off again.

-They think the end product will be better if they are more hands-on with the process and interfere as much as they can! That's why they froth at their mouths and go insane trying to 'help out.' Aaaand everything goes to the crapper soon afterward. Do you finally get what I'm saying? The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, Mister Jin-Ho.

Kang Jin-Ho slowly nodded. He began figuring out what Choi Yeon-Ha wanted to tell him. When a person was convinced their ideas were better than everyone's, they would try to jump into the thick of things without considering other people's boundaries… All because they believed they could improve the end result better than anyone could.

But this interference only served as a catalyst to bring everything down instead.

-One of the things I've told myself while working in this industry is this. That I should stick to my job. That I should produce a better performance. If my director is a dumbass, I should act my butt off even more so the audience doesn't get the chance to notice the crappy direction. In other words… Instead of wasting time interfering with the director, I should focus on my job even more! Do you now get what I'm saying, Mister Jin-Ho?

“...I do.”

-Mister Jin-Ho?

“Yes?”

-Don’t forget that you’re a human, too.

Kang Jin-Ho’s gaze subtly wavered just then.