Chapter twenty-four

Even though it had been a decade since he last saw his family, Connor remembered a lot about where he came from. He remembered the name of the city where he lived and the place he went to school. He remembered the street, the building, and even the apartment number where he'd grown up with his parents and older sister. Over their days of travel — first through the forest and then through the rambling countryside — Connor talked about his first home in detail so vividly that Audrey felt like she had been there too.

"You have a crazy good memory," she said one evening as the pair of them sat watching the sunset from the edge of a farmer's field. "I barely remember what I had for breakfast most days, let alone what I was doing when I was seven." They could see their destination waiting for them in the distance — just a hazy silhouette of a city skyline on the horizon — but they decided to wait until morning before dropping in unannounced on Connor's unsuspecting family.

Connor brushed some golden locks from his face and smiled. "I just like thinking about happier times. I learned pretty fast that fixating on all the bad stuff wasn't going to make life any easier."

"I'm sorry." Audrey shrank into herself, made uncomfortable by her own lack of tact. "I didn't think of it that way."

"Don't worry about it," Connor replied. He dismissed her apology with a indifferent wave of his hand. "It is what it is."

For some reason, this triggered a wave of frustration in Audrey that rippled outward from her heart like a stone dropped in water. She wasn't frustrated with Connor, but rather with what he had been reduced to.

"Why do you do that?" she asked, peering at him through blades of long grass that swayed between them. He glanced at her, eyebrows quirked with confusion.

"Do what?

"Act like what happened to you was no big deal?"

Connor took a moment to consider the question. He was so measured and patient (when he wasn't running for his life, that is); a tranquil stream compared to the wild rapids of Audrey's unpredictable temper. As he lifted his face to the twilit sky, Audrey watched him and wondered if she could ever learn to be like him.

"It's not like I don't know it was bad," he said. "I guess I just never saw the point in being angry about it. Up until now I figured I was just lucky to be alive."

Audrey wasn't sure how to argue with that logic, so she didn't. Instead she gave him a friendly nudge with her shoulder. "Well, you're definitely a better person than I am."

Connor's expression fell. "I don't know about that..." He folded his legs and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin on his knees. In the blink of an eye he had transformed from peaceful and content to someone weighed down with shame. After a moment's hesitation, Audrey laid her hand on his shoulder and gave him a squeeze.

"You know none of it was your fault, right?" she asked quietly.

He huffed a humorless laugh. "That's what Phoebe always says too."

"Well, she's right. And what about Rue? Do you really think someone like her would fall in love with you if you were a bad person?"

"Someone like her?" A hint of a smile twitched at the corner of Connor's mouth. "You've literally never even spoken to her."

"Are you accusing your girlfriend of being a bad judge of character?"

"Shut up," Connor laughed. He gave her a playful shove, but even though Audrey could tell he was holding back, it still knocked her over. "Oh, shit!" he cried. "I'm sorry!"

Audrey sat back up with a wince. "It's fine — I'm sure I'll get used to your godlike strength eventually."

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of rustling. They turned their faces in unison just as Emandi emerged from the tall grass. Their traveling cloak was wrapped tightly around their long feline body as they strode over to meet them.

"How was the hunt?" Connor asked.

Emandi took a moment to shake, sending dried bits of grass and other debris scattering from their mane and cloak. "Fruitful, though not in the way I anticipated." From the folds of their cloak they pulled a thickly folded and somewhat battered pamphlet of sorts and handed it to Audrey. "Let's have a look at this before we lose the light, shall we?"

Curious, Audrey turned the pamphlet over and discovered that it was actually a map of the city.

"Woah!" Connor exclaimed as he plucked it from her hand and started unfolding it, scanning the tangle of streets and landmarks with wide-eyed excitement. "Where did you get this?"

"I found it discarded along the road, not far from a charming little rest stop." Emandi stretched long and then paced a few circles in the grass before settling down into it. "I thought it would be helpful to plot your course in advance."

"So, you're really not coming with us?" Audrey asked with a pout.

Emandi shook their head. "I already told you — one does not gain the reputation of being an elusive legendary creature by gallivanting through crowded cities. There's a reason most people think my kind has died out, and to be quite honest I prefer it that way."

"Ugh, you're so dramatic," Audrey quipped. Though she made a show of sighing and rolling her eyes, the truth was that she was nervous. For all her bravado and insistence that Wishes like Connor weren't hunted for sport the way he'd been led to believe, she still wasn't sure what to expect. Would people be able to tell what he was? And if they did, would she and Connor be in danger? "You'll still be close though, right? Like, just in case things go sideways?"

"I'm not going to abandon you in the city, if that's what you're asking," Emandi replied. "Welkin would slaughter me."

Before Audrey would come up with a sassy response, Connor let out a gasp. Crouching on all fours, he jabbed his finger to a quadrant of the map with a triumphant grin. "There! That's where I used to live! My mom made me memorize all of the street names in the neighborhood so I wouldn't get lost." He traced his finger a couple of blocks east and made a right turn. "My sister's best friend lived right along this street, and over here—" he pointed to an intersection in the same area "—is where I went to school." He sank slowly back onto his heels. "I wonder how much it's changed since the last time I was there."

Audrey studied the map. Connor's old neighborhood was fairly central, which she hoped meant it would be easy enough to get to. "Okay, what's our plan if your family doesn't live there anymore?" she asked. "Do you have any other family in the city?"

She watched as Connor's eyes raked over the map, looking for things she couldn't see.

"My parents were pretty involved in the community," Connor replied. "If they've moved, I'm sure it won't be too hard to find someone who knows where they went."

Audrey didn't love the idea of knocking on the doors of random strangers. What if one of those neighbors turned out to be a Loyal?

But she didn't have the heart to say that to Connor — not while he was sitting there, lit up with a hopeful sort of joy she'd never seen from him before. Besides, she was the one who came up with this stupid idea in the first place. Connor had put his faith in her; the least she could was put on a brave face.

*

After a restless night of napping between nightmares — the sneaky ones that vanished upon waking — Audrey and the others rose with the sun and tore down their camp in groggy, anxious silence. On the way to the city's outskirts, Emandi stopped at the "charming little reststop" they'd found the previous day and demanded that Audrey and Connor use the facilities to get cleaned up.

"Goodness knows I don't mind the smell, but perhaps we should try to make a good impression with Connor's family," they teased.

While washing up in a sink was a poor substitute for a proper shower, it sure beat bathing in icy streams or lake water warmed over a fire. By the time she was finished, Audrey felt like a brand new person. She practiced smiling at herself in the streaky mirror above the sink as she imagined meeting Connor's parents for the first time. What would they make of her tell-tale golden eyes? Making a mental note to pick up a pair of sunglasses somewhere along the way, she slid out of the bathroom and trudged across the gravel lot to where Connor waited with Emandi in a sparse bluff of trees.

"How do I smell now?" she asked, throwing her arms out to present herself for inspection.

"Marginally less offensive," Emandi replied.

Choosing to take the high road for a change, Audrey ignored their barb. Instead she turned to Connor and smiled. "Well? Are you ready to go home?"

Connor, who had been fussing with the cuff of his sweater sleeve, swallowed hard and lifted his gaze to meet Audrey's. The color had completely drained from his face, and his green eyes were glassy with the threat of tears.

"What's wrong?" Audrey asked, alarmed. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Is this a mistake?" he whispered, so quietly that Audrey had to lean in to hear him better. "What if the reason they never came back for me is because they were glad that I was gone? What if... what if they don't want me anymore?"

Audrey's breath hitched in her throat. She'd be lying if she said the same worries hadn't crossed her mind. But Connor didn't need to know that: he needed her brave face.

"Then it'll be their loss," she said. She pulled Connor in and hugged him hard. "Whatever happens, we'll figure it out, okay?"

She waited until Connor's rigid posture softened in her arms and she felt his head nod against her ear. Only then did she let go. When she looked at him again, Audrey clocked the glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Okay," he agreed.

Emandi rose to their feet with an impatient flick of their tail. "Are we ready?"

"As we'll ever be," Audrey replied. "Let's go meet the parents."