36: permanent

"So, how did you know I was there?" Nila asked, sitting on Vijay's lap as she speared pasta and put it in her mouth. "Did Krish tell you?"

"They were in on this?"

Nila chuckled. "So, they kept their promise. That's nice to hear."

"I can't believe they didn't tell me. Those traitors. Farah even told me I was hallucinating," Vijay grumbled and took a bite of pasta that Nila fed him.

"You never answered my question."

"I just knew, silver. Call it boyfriend instincts."

"Sure. That makes a lot of sense," Nila said. "You expect me to believe that you relied on your instincts and came all the way to my flat?"

"For that, I might have had some help," Vijay said and told her about Kayal's message. Her sister was someone who disliked meddling in others' business but the fact that she'd done it for her made her feel somewhat special. Nila made a mental note to bring it up and make Kayal admit her undying love for her. "I also called her. A while back. I was worried---"

"Yeah, I know. She told me."

"I'm sorry. I kinda panicked that day."

"It's fine. We had a long talk. I told her everything. The conversation went much better than I expected."

"When Nishanth used to talk about her, I thought he was exaggerating. But your sister is actually pretty fucking cool."

"I know right?" Nila grinned.

She placed the empty bowl on the table and leaned back against Vijay's chest. Vijay slid his arms around her and pressed his lips against her shoulder. She brought her hand up to card through his dark curls. "Are you talking to your mother now?"

"Yeah. I couldn't stay mad at her for long. But I think it worked to an extent, you know. Apparently, Pa had been talking to her about us a lot and somehow, he changed her mind. She sat me down and talked to me about the entire thing one day. It's not that she didn't like you. She really did. But she also liked your sister when Nishanth brought her home. Ma had judged Kayal to have a rebellious air around her. But even she chose her family over Nishanth in the end. In you, she didn't see that rebellious nature. So, she assumed you wouldn't fight for us. That you would let me go in the end."

Nila felt guilty. "I almost did," she whispered.

Vijay released a weak laugh and held her tight. "You could've tried all you want, silver. You wouldn't have succeeded."

"I wish I was as confident as you."

"Nila, listen," he said, grabbing her face by the chin and making her face him. "I don't care about that. I just want you to talk to me when you're not confident. I want you to tell me so that I can give you the security and strength you need. I can remind you that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you in this world."

She nodded. "But you should know that me faltering once in a while doesn't mean I love you less."

"No, it doesn't mean you love me less. I will never think that. And you shouldn't ever think the same about me when I fuck things up. Because I don't know what is permanent in this world, silver, except for us. And the past month without you just made me believe in it more because I couldn't spend a day without thinking about you. And I aim to be obsessed and devoted to you for the rest of my life."

Nila placed her palm on his cheek and traced his angled jaws. She met his eyes and smiled. "So does that mean you think about marriage and a family with me?"

"Every fucking day."

She placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I think about it too but can we consider it together? For real?" Vijay's eyes flickered with eagerness. Nila laughed. "Not now, you idiot. In the future. I want us to seriously plan our future together. I want to discuss our career, our personal goals, our dreams and all that."

"I want to be married to you as soon as possible. That is my only condition."

"That's flattering but not accepted, sorry. I still haven't figured out what I want to do after postgraduation. Working is the sensible option but I'm still open to other opportunities. And you've got your big dream. Being an athlete is not an easy career path and you know that. Both of us are at the starting line. I want to us to make it at least a little further where we are confident and then get married. Plus, when I'm making money on my own and have my own identity well-established, it'll be easier to fight for us with my parents."

Vijay grumbled. "Fine, I'll wait."

"So, you're all in with me?"

"I've been all in since day one. You're the one who had to catch up, slowpoke," Vijay said, poking her side.

"No going back on your words. If we fight, we make up—"

"I've heard make up sex is hot as fuck---"

She glared at him. "With clear and honest communication."

"And sex."

Nila slapped her palm over his mouth. "What is wrong with you today?"

"I can't concentrate. Having you on my lap is not doing me good, silver," he groaned.

Nila jumped out of his lap, face red. "You should've just told me before!"

"It was fine before you started moving too much," Vijay said. Nila didn't understand how he was so calm and casual about it. She was turning redder. "It's fine. Just come back. I miss you."

"No. I'll just--- um, dispose this," she picked up the empty container, "and be back. You get some air or something." Nila scurried off to the kitchen. She heard Vijay chuckle in the background.

"You can't blame me, silver. You turn me on by simply existing," Vijay yelled from the living room.

"Will you shut up and stop being corny?"

"Unfortunately, no."

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Vijay was feeling so happy he was afraid he'd accidentally taken a shot of dopamine or something. He absent-mindedly ran his hands over Nila's back as she slept in his arms – head tucked underneath his chin, cheek resting on his chest, one hand tangled in his curls and the other tucked underneath his body and ankles twisted around each other's.

Nila had let him look around in her room and he had almost cried when he found printed pictures of them stuck in her closet door. She had the tiny stupid notes he'd written to her when they went to the library and the wrapper of the snicker bar that he'd gotten for her saved inside a notebook. Having to see her bed, her space, her study desk--- it all felt personal and intimate, as if he was privy to a secret locker that he'd been dying to open. He couldn't believe he was standing in her room when more than half a year ago, he had been standing next to her in the bus for the first time.

Oh, how he'd fallen for her. It cannot be anything less than magic.

Because one glance her way and he'd been bewitched for life.

Such unfairness too. He didn't even have a chance against it. He became powerless when it came to her.

Nila shifted in her sleep, inching her body slightly upwards so that her hair tickled his nose.

Nila had been talking about the plant Vijay gifted her when she'd joined him in her room. She had given it to the family next door to take care of it when she went home. Apparently, the leaves began drying up in the middle but she'd somehow saved it. Now there was a beautiful striking violet in bloom.

"Looking at it makes me so happy. It reminds me of you. And us," she'd said.

"Because this little plant is our baby. The first living thing to mean a lot to us," Vijay said and Nila agreed with a big smile. "Helps that it's named after me."

"Since I raised it on my own, the least you could do is share its name."

"Are you implying I've been a bad plant dad?" Vijay played along making Nila giggle at the silliness of the conversation. And maybe she'd liked it so much because she'd climbed him after that, leading them to bed and a lot of cuddles. And not less than five minutes passed before she'd drifted off to sleep in his arms.

It had been evident in her face that she'd been getting poor sleep for the past few days. Vijay hadn't asked much about it because he knew the reason for it. That's why he was happy she finally let sleep catch up to her that too when she lay in his arms. She slept like a baby and it gave him a bit of pride when he knew she felt like his arms were safe, comfortable and cozy enough to be vulnerable and completely unaware of the world. And soon after that, he'd fallen asleep too.

Vijay carded her hair gently before taking his phone to check the time. It was around six-thirty in the evening. If it wasn't for his parents waiting for him to celebrate his win, he wouldn't have left the room. Vijay would have gladly stayed with her through the night, just holding her in his arms. But he had to go and it killed him that he had to leave her alone in the flat. Of course, she had been alone before but now that he saw a possibility of him being with her, he couldn't feel settled with this predicament.

He already had a few messages from his mother, asking if he wanted mutton or chicken for dinner. He had to at least show them his medal. Maybe he should've stopped by his place first and come to Nila's apartment later. His brain hadn't bothered to think this far ahead when he'd gotten to know she was back in the city. Now he regretted it.

In order to leave, Vijay had to move and if Vijay moved, Nila would wake up.

What a tragedy this was.

Vijay tightened his arms around her waist and moved her up a little so he could kiss her forehead. "Nila," he whispered, wishing he didn't have to interrupt her sleep.

No response.

"Silver," he tried again.

"Hmm," Nila mumbled, wrapping her fingers around the curls in his head. He slowly pried her fingers away from his hair and shifted sideways so she'd rest on the bed.

"I have to go home," he said.

She opened her eyes slowly and looked at him. He smiled and moved away her hair from her forehead. Then, he traced the skin below her eyes. "You really have to?" she asked, her voice husky and sleepy.

Vijay has never been this apologetic in his life. "I'm sorry, silver. I promised I'd be home for dinner. If it was any other day, I would just stay here. But it's the day of the tournament."

Nila's eyes widened with realization, as if she'd forgotten it. "Yes, of course. You should celebrate with your family. I'm sorry. I didn't even think of it."

"I'll come back tomorrow."

Nila smiled and nodded.

"I'll stay the night if you'll let me."

"I'd like that," she said.

Honestly, Vijay hadn't expected she'd want him to stay. The last time they had the opportunity to room together, she'd kicked him out. "Really?"

"Yes, of course. I just... missed you too much the past month. I'll take any chance I get to keep you with me," she said, a little shy.

"When is Anamika and Priya coming back?"

"Anamika will come after a week. Priya will come next month. She's doing her internship at her hometown."

"So... it's just you for a week. And you have nowhere to be for the week," Vijay summarised. "What if... I stay the week?"

Nila laughed. "No way. Stop joking."

He caught her wrists. "No, I'm serious. I can come up with some convincing lie at home. Just say yes."

Nila bit her lip. He could tell she was calculating, her mind mapping out every possible thing to consider from every side. Slowly, she said, "Are you sure it won't be a problem? I feel like I should be saying No but I don't want to."

Vijay grinned. "Should doesn't matter. Want and need are the only words that matter."

"Then I guess I can't wait," Nila said, clutching his shirt and pulling him closer to kiss him. Vijay kissed her back, tenderly, promising her he'll be back soon. With a goodbye kiss on her cheek, he pulled away.

"I'll walk you out," Nila offered.

"No, just go back to sleep."

Nila stifled a yawn and tried to prop herself up. "No. I have to go get groceries to make dinner anyway."

"We'll do all that together tomorrow. Cleaning, unpacking and shopping and everything you were complaining about earlier. Today, your job is to take rest. Okay?"

"Yes, sir."

He smoothed her hair one last time and stepped out of bed. "I love you," he said before walking out the door.

"Me more you," she said mid yawn, waving him goodbye from her bed.

Vijay shook his head. So fucking cute.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

a/n: one more chapter to go and then we have the epilogue. how are we feeling?