What Have I Done?

KAIA

The moment Aleksandr was out of sight, I crumbled onto the cold concrete bench, my head hanging low. I was emotionally spent. Crying wouldn’t do any good with a man like Aleksandr.

He was serious about his intentions. He was determined to make me his wife, whether I agreed or not. He didn’t care about my feelings, as long as he got what he wanted.

But if he planned to use me, I was going to use him too. He had something I needed, and this was my opportunity to get it. I’d made a deal with Cristo before, so why not with Aleksandr?

Especially when I could gain so much more from the pakhan than just information.

~You’re vulnerable to him~. My mind teased me.

I pushed the thought away, frustrated. Aleksandr had revealed his true nature. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know he was ruthless.

I just had to learn to play his game as well as he did. Convincing my body to cooperate with that plan would be a challenge, but if I could avoid Aleksandr, I’d be okay.

We were living under the same roof and he’d insisted I share his bed, so avoiding him was easier said than done.

Speaking of Aleksandr’s bed…

I placed a hand on my stomach. Aleksandr had made it clear he had no plans to use protection with me. My period was due in about a week, so hopefully, I was safe from pregnancy.

I’d have to remind him to call the doctor for the shot he’d promised.

My stomach growled beneath my hand. I got up and headed back to the house for some breakfast. Luckily, I didn’t run into Samuil or any of the other men on my way back.

I’d just entered the kitchen when Feliks startled me. He turned from the stove to place an egg white omelet on the counter in front of me.

“You’re just in time,” he said, placing a knife and fork next to the plate.

I noticed he was avoiding my gaze, probably still upset about finding me in Aleksandr’s office.

I sighed. I liked Feliks. He was like the uncle I never had. He always had a warm smile for me and cooked whatever I wanted.

I slid onto the high stool and pulled the plate closer, watching him.

“Don’t be mad, Feliks,” I said, picking up my fork and giving him a small pout. If I was going to be married to Aleksandr for a year, I needed allies.

“I had to try,” I told him. “I’m looking for someone.”

Feliks draped a dish towel over his broad shoulder and placed his large hands on his hips, frowning down at me.

“Boss is a good man,” he said. “You can trust him. No need to sneak around.”

I took a bite of the omelet and nearly moaned at the smooth texture and explosion of flavor.

“Boss likes you. You like boss,” Feliks continued in his slightly broken English. “Haven’t seen him like this in a long time.”

I put down my fork as his words sunk in, their meaning clear.

“Aleksandr loved his wife.”

It was more of a statement than a question, but Feliks nodded.

“~Da~.”

“What happened to her?”

I hadn’t found much about Nadya in my research, only that she was killed by Aleksandr’s enemies in retaliation against him.

Feliks looked away nervously.

“I can’t say—”

“No, he can’t.” A harsh voice interrupted as Niko stormed into the kitchen, a large package under his arm.

He glared at Feliks. The big man dropped the dish towel and disappeared from the kitchen.

“You shouldn’t question Feliks, Kaia. If you have questions, ask me or Aleksandr.”

He placed the package next to me, and I frowned at the MacBook Pro box.

“And you would tell me?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

He smirked.

“You’re about to marry the pakhan, aren’t you?” he teased. “Congratulations, by the way.”

I turned up my nose at his comment and focused on the box next to my plate.

“What’s this?” I asked. A peace offering, perhaps.

Niko tapped the box.

“Aleksandr said you needed a computer for your research,” he explained.

I gasped and grabbed the box like it was a lifeline.

“He’s giving me access to his network?”

Niko glanced at how tightly I was holding the box.

“As soon as you sign the contract…yes.”

My face fell.

Right. The contract.

“Mikhail’s working on it as we speak. It’ll be ready in about sixty minutes.”

My heart pounded in my chest.

“Mikhail?”

Niko nodded curtly.

“He’s our attorney.”

Sixty minutes. In just sixty minutes, my life would no longer be my own.

“He’ll be here soon. You can ask him anything you want then. In the meantime, have your breakfast.”

Niko was about to leave when my question halted him.

“How did she pass away?”

Niko turned back slowly, his lips tightening at my question. For a moment, I thought he wouldn’t respond. But then he walked back over to me, leaning in close.

“Here’s a piece of advice for you, Kaia,” he murmured. “Don’t ever ask Aleksandr about Nadya.”

“But—”

“No ‘buts’,” he interrupted sharply.

“Then you tell me.”

He scoffed and turned away.

“I’ll find the answers myself. Is that what you want?” I challenged.

Niko spun back around, getting right in my face.

“She was abducted by our enemies. Her own family. Violated and tortured by her father’s men. Is that what you want to hear?” he spat out, his eyes blazing with fury that made me recoil.

“They recorded the whole thing and sent the video to Aleksandr. By the time we found out where she was, they had already burned the place to the ground. We couldn’t recover her body. Aleksandr never got closure. Not until every single one of those bastards was dead.”

I gasped, tears streaming down my face as I imagined the pain Aleksandr must have felt. The rage.

No wonder he went on a killing spree. Revenge. Love.

“He loved her.” It echoed what Feliks had implied, even if he hadn’t said it outright.

Niko ran a hand down his face.

“She was stunning. Headstrong. She could command a room like no other. She was Aleksandr’s perfect match.”

His words sent a pang of disappointment through me. Aleksandr had already found his soulmate. I would never be that for him.

Hold on. ~What~? Why was I even considering that?

“We’re done discussing this,” Niko said sternly. “Don’t bring it up again, got it?”

I nodded, unable to speak.

Satisfied, Niko turned and left the kitchen, leaving me with more questions than answers.

I glanced down at the box in front of me, pulling the tab to open it.

I traced my finger along its sleek edges.

I had my phone, a laptop, and I was in Aleksandr’s house.

I had everything I needed to start digging for answers.