9. the past

Her boots crunched along the snowy ground behind Erlin whose bare feet shuffled through it.

"Did Al say what she wanted to talk to me about?" Nyx asked the faerie who walked a few feet ahead of her, raising her voice over the snowy wind that sharply bit at her nose.

"No," Erlin yelled back at her over the whistling wind. "She never explains anything to me!"

"That makes two of us," she grumbled.

She watched his chestnut brown wings twitch, pieces of snow falling from them. She could only imagine how out of place Erlin must have felt. He was quite obviously the runt of the pack, and was apparently mostly used as a messenger or servant.

They made it past the tall, frozen willow tree and to the other side with the bigger cottages underneath the tree cabins. She continued to follow Erlin where he led her to one of the cottages' front door, immediately grabbing the doorknob and barging right in.

As they started to enter through the door, the two were immediately met with a loud and slicing, "What have I told you about knocking, you foul beast!"

Erlin immediately froze in his steps, earing perking upwards as Nyx halted to a stop right behind him. Her eyes locked onto the fae who leaned back in a wooden chair in front of a fireplace right across from the door. Another empty wooden chair sat across from it, and they were both pointing towards each other, parallel to the fire. Nyx's stomach dropped as she assumed that chair was for her.

"S-Sorry, Al—Alastair," Erlin rushed, averting from using her nickname to using her full name out of respect.

"Don't be sorry and especially don't be ignorant," the fae snapped, her red eyes glowing from about her pale face in the dim room where the only light was the faint beam from the window and the orange glow from the fire. Her dark, large wings were spread about and cupping herself as she sat in the chair, legs crossed and elbows resting on the wooden arms. She glanced over to the girl who stood behind Erlin, her dark lips pursing. "Leave us," her velvety voice echoed.

Erlin, with his pointed ears dropping down and his mouth kept in a taut line as if he was trying not to cry, scurried away and left Nyx standing there alone at the door, eyes locked with the fire fae's.

The woman tilted her head slightly, an unreadable look on her shadowed face. Then, without breaking eye contact, she lifted her hand and smoothly twirled her fingers towards the empty chair across from her in a motion that signaled for Nyx to sit.

Gulping down her nerves as best she could, the girl took a silent intake of breath and carefully closed the front door of the cottage that consisted of a single, large room with a few more chairs over in the corner and a table that had scrolls of paper laying messily atop it. She could assume that it was some sort of planning area. Once the door was closed, the room was even darker and quieter. The dense trees surrounding cottage and the cloudy skies about did not allot much light to come through the few windows.

Flattening the skirt of her dress nervously, Nyx removed the hood of her cloak from her head, hesitantly taking steps towards the empty chair. The nearer she came to Alastair, the brighter the fae's eyes seemed to glow. They were darker that day, but Nyx couldn't tell if it was because of the lighting and lack thereof or not. Unable to hold the fae's stare any longer, she shifted her eyes to the floor as she took a gentle and slow seat in the chair. The wood was cold against her backside, but the fire only a couple feet next to her warmed the tip of her frozen nose.

She brought her numb, nearly trembling fingertips to the button of her cloak which suddenly felt as if it were choking her. Struggling to undo the clasp due to how cold her hands were, she flickered her eyes back up to the fae who watched her intently. Her pecan hair with a glaze of mahogany rested over her shoulders and at her chest, the locks straight but thick in their visual softness. The fae wore her all-leather apparel, with the loose black shirt and tight black pants accompanied with the trademark bare feet of the fae people. Bulky silver rings sat on nearly every one of her fingers, some engraved bands, some chunky rubies, and some sparkling garnets.

Then came the sudden sound of the faerie's voice which jolted Nyx from her not-so-subtle observations. "I suppose Caspian and Catori did feed you, yes?"

The girl watched the way the fae's plump rose lips tilted into somewhat of a smirk, blood red eyes sparkling. The way she worded her question made Nyx feel like a dog, but Nyx didn't feel like being too reactive with the pesky fae.

"Yes," Nyx responded in a soft voice that came out higher pitched than she intended. She then remembered the raspberries in her pocket. "Oh..." She carefully twisted around to the side pocket of her cloak, scooping out the handful of berries. "Catori wanted me to give these to you." She turned her eyes back to the fae whose own orbs were still concentrated on hers, even as the girl slowly held her handful of berries out to her.

Smiling impishly, the fae leaned forward, holding her hand out beneath the girl's. Nyx eyed her for a moment before she concentrated her eyes on her hands which parted and let the berries fall into the fae's single hand which was capable of holding all the berries in it.

"Thank you," Alastair murmured, bringing her hand to her lap before plopping one of the raspberries into her mouth. Nyx noticed how her nails were painted black and how her hands were so lean that she could see all the veins lining the bones of her fingers through her pale skin, yet they somehow looked strong and steady.

Nyx nodded in response, bringing her hands back to her lap and intertwining them. Under Al's stare as she chewed the raspberry, Nyx averted her gaze to the fireplace, wondering if Al had lit the wooden logs with her own hands.

"I assume you have many questions to ask me," Alastair began, rising from her seat which caused Nyx to snap her eyes back to her. She watched as the tall fae walked across the room, her black and auburn wings dragging behind her feet. Nyx couldn't help but admire the elegance and majesty of her instruments of flight. She had never seen birds with such anatomy of wings—originating at her mid-back behind her clothing and concaving upwards, where she could tell was hard bone beneath the feathers, and coming to sharp points of bone similar to tiny horns. From there, they bulged outwards in curved lines until they turned into uneven ends of feathers.

The mesmerized girl remembered that the fae had said something to her. Clearing her throat, she replied, "So many, I... don't know where to begin."

Al placed the handful of berries down onto the table across the room before turning around and making her way back over to the girl. Humans were always interesting to her, but this one in particular was quite a specimen. Al assumed it was only because she knew the girl's father and saw such a resemblance in her.

Alastair hummed as she sat back down in the chair and crossed her legs. "I'll begin for you, then," she spoke, her voice deep yet feminine. She spoke properly and enunciated every syllable like she had her words memorized off a script.

Nyx nodded, inhaling deeply and attempting to exhale her nervousness over both the intimidating fae before her and whatever it was she was going to explain to her about her father and why she was there. Her clasped palms were sweating against one another but she dared not move.

"Nikolaus was his name—your father," Al began, a nostalgic look crossing over her crimson eyes. "Hence why your name is Nyx."

When Al and Catori had offhandedly mentioned her father's name before, she had never grasped the fact that his name was so similar to hers. She was surprised at the fact that she was named after a man she had never met, and she didn't know quite how to feel about it.

"He was King of the Fae, and so was your healing fae grandfather before him, and your water fae great grandmother the Queen before him," Al continued, clicking her fingernails on the arm of the wooden chair as she finally averted her stare away from the girl and to the fire, which immediately made Nyx feel like she could breathe easier. "He was a healing fae, the last of the line." Her jaw jutted sideways as she chewed the inside of her cheek. "The first line we've lost."

She recalled Catori explaining that to her, gently nodding her head as she stared at the fae's tapping fingers. She had only ever met her mother's parents a few times when she was younger, for they lived far away and died when she was still young. Now she knew that her other grandparents were not only fae, but were royalty. She really was a descendant of royal blood—fae, nonetheless—and that fact was finally beginning to reluctantly sink into her.

"I was very close with your father, the best of friends, you could say. I led his army during his rule, not that he much needed one until Eira came along," Al sighed, pursing her dark pink lips as she stared into the fireplace blankly.

Nyx used the moment to watch her closely, mentally putting all the pieces together. That was why Al was now the leader of these ragtag rebel fae—she was a leader back when Nyx's father ruled. The girl shifted in her seat as she remembered Eira, the one who had tried to kill her back in the woods, the one who started this entire fever dream of a situation. "So... you said Eira killed him—my father." The fae's eyes returned to hers, bringing back that gnarly anxiety. "Why did she?"

Alastair's jaw visibly clenched, her fingertips grasping the very end of the chair's arms as something in her eyes hardened. "That was what I wanted to tell you myself," she spoke more softly, her voice holding a rasp that mimicked the crackling of the fire beside them. She took a small breath in, again turning back to the fire. She was never much for sentimental moments, and she didn't want to bear the discomfort if the girl were to burst into tears before her. But she owed it to Nikolaus.

The blonde tried to relax herself, tuning her ears in closely as the stoic fae began to speak.

"Nikolaus and Eira were engaged long ago. Eira was born into a family who was close with all the royals and the richer of the fae, but Eira was a... bad apple." She shifted her eyes back to the girl momentarily. "Nikolaus didn't love her, but it was sort of tradition to marry into the most well-off family, to secure royal heritage and blood... but then Nikolaus met Valerie."

Nyx's lips parted as she restrained a gasp. "My mother," she whispered.

The fae gave some sort of smile at the girl whose golden brown eyes were wide with intrigue. "Yes. They were madly in love. I had never seen Nikolaus so fond of a person." Nyx watched as the first genuine smile she had seen on the fae's face slowly stretched across her lips. "But they had to keep it a secret, not only because he was set to marry Eira, but because human-fae relationships were unheard of. We had never mingled with the humans or even let them know of our existence, let alone mate with them. But nothing would tear Nikolaus away from your mother."

The girl listened intently, a foreign feeling filling her. This was all so new to her in the first place, but now all the pieces she had been scrambling to put together throughout her life were finally falling together. The reason that her mother never told her anything about her father was because he was a fae, and their love was forbidden.

"But a King can only keep so many secrets," Al continued slowly, a grim look crossing her face and shadowing her sharp cheekbones. "When Eira found out about the affair, she was furious. Naturally, everyone assumed she was heartbroken over the betrayal, which maybe she was at first. But Eira never really wanted or needed Nikolaus. She only wanted the crown."

Nyx blinked and unknowingly held her breath, already knowing what was probably going to come next.

"Nikolaus was her key to the throne. If she wasn't going to kill him before they were married, she was only going to do it after and take the throne that way." Al sighed and glanced down to her crossed legs, seeing in the black leather of her pants all the memories of that ill-fated time that began the reign of terror on the fae people. "So one night she gave Nikolaus and Valerie a visit in the home they had just built—the house you grew up in—and she killed him right in front of your mother, iced his blood the way she tried to ice yours the other day."

The girl did not know what to think or feel. There was the fact that her own father was killed inside the house she had lived in her entire life, and there was also the fact that her own mother had to witness it. Nyx had always thought she knew more about her mother than anyone else in the world, but she was suddenly learning of such tragic and prominent events that her mother had endured without ever telling her. Her heart ached for her mother and the fact that she raised her all alone after watching the father of her child be killed right before her.

"B-but why didn't she kill me or my mother, if she was so angry?" Nyx questioned softly, feeling liquid prick her eyes. She was not necessarily sad, only overwhelmed by all of it and wishing she could go back and hug her mother for being so brave.

"She was going to, but Valerie told her that she was pregnant with you. I suppose Eira found the first and last strand of empathy somewhere within her to not kill a pregnant woman, but she promised your mother that the day you turned eighteen, she would come back and kill you both. Her only reason is that she doesn't want you to take the throne since you are Nikolaus' heir."

Nyx realized that was why her mother always got so nervous when there was a knock at the door, especially the older Nyx got—she was always waiting for Eira to come and get them. That was why she wanted Nyx to get married and move off—it would put her farther away from Eira and ensure she was never brought into the fae world.

A single tear rolled down Nyx's cheek, one which caused Al to roll her eyes and grow uncomfortable. But it was not sadness fueling the tear; it was guilt. She remembered a couple days prior when she had been accusing her mother of being selfish, of wanting to get rid of her. Little did she know that her mother was only trying to keep her safe, just like she tried to tell her.

"My mother," Nyx suddenly gasped as another hot tear rolled down her other cheek, her vision of the fae before her blurred by her tears. "You said Eira is going to kill her? She's home alone, what if they—"

"Stop that fretting," Al immediately cut her off, her voice sharper than it had been. "We have several wind and earth fae surveying your house. If Eira or any of her ice fae even come near your mother, they will fight them off until I get there and take Eira's head off myself."

There was promise in Al's voice, a strange sense of security and assurance. Even though Al frightened and intimidated Nyx, there was an overwhelming aura of reliability around the fae, a sense that Nyx could trust the fae with her life if she needed to. Maybe it was just because she was the leader of an army and was responsible for all of their lives, but either way it calmed the girl down a bit.

There was still so much for the girl to process, though, and as her honey eyes landed on the flames of the fireplace, she drifted away into her mental space where she thought of her beloved mother and how the truth only made her love and respect her even more than she already did. Alastair watched her, the way her pink lips pursed together in thought, her blonde eyebrows sewing closely together. Her eyes, still watery from her tears, reflected the flames of the fire which cast orange light across her face. There were a few freckles dotting random spaces on her skin, and Al traced them with her eyes.

"So," Al began, breaking the few moments of silence she gave the girl. There was still so much more she needed to know and understand, but she figured the girl had to get over all the tender stuff before she could tell her the plans to overthrow Eira and her stolen throne. "I have some things for you." She eyed the blood stains at the chest of the girl's dirty olive green dress and the few rips and tears at the skirt.

Wiping the halfway dried tears from her cheeks, the girl sniffled and turned towards the fae.

Al stood up and crossed the room again, picking up something off the table before bringing it over to the girl. As the fae held her hands out to her, Nyx realized that it was about five or six dresses folded into squares. They all looked silky and soft, nice dresses but also comfortably casual. "There are some undergarments between them, as well," Al said with obvious discomfort before clearing her throat loudly. "They should be just your size."

Licking her chapped lips, the girl gently took the folded dresses from the fae, careful to not touch her skin—she didn't know if fire fae had lava for skin or not. She ran her hand over the folded dress at the top, which was a soft peach color with white lace lining the neckline. "Oh," she breathed, trying to focus on the gifted dresses and not all her swirling, confusing thoughts. "Where did you get these?" She had seen these dresses in the windows of shops in her village, all of them too expensive for her mother to buy.

"Well, let's just say the humans in your village aren't very good at keeping their doors locked," the fae answered humorously, walking over to the front door of the cottage.

Nyx chuckled as she watched her, standing up from her seat slowly as she sniffled once more, feeling pathetic for crying in front of such a powerful and poised creature. "Thank you," she said graciously.

Alastair swung the door open and ignored the girl's gratitude as she stood behind the open door. "I've got many things to do and I hate distractions," she breathed, glancing up to the large clock that sat over the fireplace. "Run along, now," she curtly spoke, eyes boring into the girl.

Taken aback at the subtle rudeness of the faerie, Nyx gripped the dresses against her chest and nodded, making her way to the doorway before the fae would burn her to ash or something of the such.

Al watched the girl as she walked past her, wavy blonde locks bouncing at her back as she kept her eyes trained on the ground. Her sweet scent invaded her nostrils as she passed her and stepped out into the snow. The girl was about to turn to say goodbye, but Al quickly closed the door before she could, not one for sentiments of any kind, including casual goodbyes.

Little to the girl's knowledge as she began making her way back towards the frozen willow tree and to the other side to show Catori the dresses, Al watched the girl through the window, listening closely for any other foreign footsteps or wings that could signal danger. She watched her intently all the way until she disappeared past the willow tree, letting out a sigh of relief when she watched Catori approach her and take the dresses from her arms with a smile on her face.

Keeping the girl safe had always been her mission, but for some reason she now felt the urge to protect her stronger than ever.