L. Boys did it for L.O.V.E.

When I returned home, my mom angrily said,

"You don't earn money, but you waste it on Ola cab, couldn't you have taken the train? I'm a retired teacher, I get a pension, what do you expect? Should I give you some money to blow away?" I ignored her.

I climbed up to the roof, it's 8 PM. I saw Shraddha talking to someone. I wish I had a friend like that, not someone like Vishwash who keeps chanting about love 108 times. Sometimes, being around him feels suffocating. I wish people understood the meaning of 'no.' Sometimes, I wish I could hug someone to vent about everything that's gone wrong. I get angry too, I've turned 23, and I've lived my life like this, that now I feel like the pillow is my favorite person.

I slouched and went to my room. She was walking and talking on the phone, my room door was open. I was lying on the bed, looking at my phone, but I got frustrated and went to freshen up. When I came back, there was a message from Vishwash:

"HI."

We had been talking all day, how much more does he want to talk? I'm going to get tired of this. I wish I had some magic to live alone. I took an empty page from a book and tried to draw something with a pencil, but my hands were shaking. Black pictures were running in my head, like two people fighting. I crumpled the page into a ball and threw it towards the dustbin, but it didn't make it in. I had to stand up and throw it in, but Shraddha's voice was coming from the roof, and I angrily said,

"If you want to talk loudly, go somewhere else, don't dance around on my head. These days, these couples never let anyone live in peace."

She quickly put the phone down and said, "What's your problem? Yelling won't make things better."

"What should I do? Can't you speak softly? My head hurts," I said, letting out all my frustration.

She gave me an annoyed look, as if she wasn't in the mood to argue, but then she gave me a 2-second glance. I don't know if she can read body language, she's an artist, so maybe she can. She asked, "Do you want me to put balm on your head?"

"Are you crazy? Keep the balm to yourself. I just want some peace!" I said in frustration.

"Fine." she replied and walked away. Wait, is she not going to fight back? I actually wanted to argue more. Maybe I said too much. I went outside and asked, "Can I have the balm?" My tone was controlled, but I knew she was definitely going to get angry.

She threw the balm at me. I knew it. I picked it up and said, "Thank you! And... sorry."

She shouted, "What did you say?"

"Nothing." I quickly tried to change the subject, feeling really embarrassed. Then Shraddha calmed down and said, "Sorry!"

I opened my eyes wide and asked, "Why?"

She said, "I threw the balm! Sorry, let me put it on for you."

I said, "Nah! I'm fine."

"(Parantu kem? (But why?)"

"I'm not used to people doing things for me." I answered honestly.

"To shu? (So, what?) You're not used to friends?"

"Oh, to ekhono tumi amar bondhu hote prostut? (Oh, so now you're ready to be my friend?)"

She took splits of second to understand words.

"No! We can never be friends, but as a person, I'm helping you." She understood again my words? impressive.

"No! I'll take the balm!' How do I explain to Shraddha that no one has ever done this for me? It feels so weird to have someone care for me when I'm not used to it. It's not normal for me. Never friends with a girl. boys did it but for L.O.V.E.

Shraddha said, "Okay, go! Parantu agau thi. (But next time), don't take other's anger out on me."

I started to leave when I thought to myself, "So, Tumi janteo? (So, you knew.)"

"Yeah, I knew, but you forgot that I'm Shraddha. Hun tara vishay badhu jaanu chu, tara darek pagla (I know everything about you, all your moves.)"

"Oh? Tumi ki amar moner kotha porte paro? (You can read my mind?)" I said, trying to act cool, but feeling nervous.

"What? Porte paro?  dev or paro? that was hard"

"You can read my mind?"

"No, it's easy to read you." (She scanned me with her eyes.)

"Okay, then tell me why I'm angry."

With confidence, she said, "Kyaank tamari mom kaim kahyu. (Because your mom said something.)"

"How do you know? Wait, how?" I asked, shocked.

"Because no one else hurts you in your life, you've gotten used to Vishwash." She smiled and handed me a book from her bed. I looked at it.

"Read this book. Time will pass, and you won't have to fight with me anymore." She looked into my eyes. Her words seemed normal, but why did I feel like she was trying to seduce me? But I wasn't falling for it. I wasn't interested at all, just bored. She must be up to something, I'm sure of it.

"You thinking? How do I know?"

I lied, "No, I was just saying your voice was annoying."

"I'm not a singer, this is just my voice." she smiled and picked up her paintbrush, starting to paint. Watching her paint felt nice, though I couldn't understand her paintings. But, still, I was calculating what she was doing when she turned around and asked,

"What now? Are you going to stare at me like this?"

"Eww, cheap, I was looking at your painting."

"See? Now you're making excuses."

Now I understand, she's just guessing, she doesn't know anything about me. If I give an expression, she might understand. Now, ashol ami ke, bolte dao! Oke bujhiye debo je ami ki korte pari!

(let me show her the real me.)