Chapter 87
Discovering Us Spin-Off: Introspection
ASHER
I donât make a beeline for home or my parentsâ place. Instead, I steer my car toward the bustling restaurant district in town, hoping to grab some grub for the three of us and escape the suffocating atmosphere of my parentsâ fortress-like home.
I never realized how much the towering fences and the lack of a view beyond their property unsettled me. Now, itâs clear why Iâve always preferred the openness of my apartment and the hotel.
As I pull into the restaurant strip, I notice my dadâs security team tailing me. Even when I park outside a quaint Thai joint, they hang back, parking a good four rows behind me.
Theyâre trying to blend in, to stay out of sight, but Iâm too alert not to notice them. The number of guards shadowing me has increased. I count more than six now.
Iâm certain thereâs another car somewhere, watching from a different angle. Normally, this would irk me, but right now, I understand my fatherâs need to ensure my safety.
Itâs odd. I never thought Iâd appreciate Callumâs overprotective tendencies.
âLetâs grab lunch,â I suggest to Ebony and Addison, both of whom are unusually quiet.
âOkay,â Addison responds, sliding out of the car from my side.
Ebony, however, remains silent, following Addison and me out of the car. Once again, she reaches for my hand, holding onto it as if itâs her lifeline, and stays close to me as we walk.
To passersby, we might look like a couple. But thatâs far from the truth.
I watch our feet moving in sync, finding it strange to have her so close outside the bedroom. Am I losing it?
Iâm discovering a profound connection in something as simple as touch. Iâve never been this close to anyone, never tried to be intimate in any way other than sex.
And surprisingly, I think I like itâholding hands and talking instead of just getting physical. I recoil at the thought as I open the door to the Thai restaurant.
Then, I think of Maddison and how Iâve been sleeping with her for days, how her touch never seems to bore me. Iâve never thought of being with someone for more than a night, so why am I having these thoughts now?
I shake off these thoughts and request a table for three. When we sit, I make sure Ebony doesnât sit next to me by pulling out two chairs on one side of the table for the girls.
Control⦠Thatâs what I need to maintain. Once these girls are gone, maybe I can go back to my blissfully lonely life with the occasional one-night stand.
Who am I kidding?
We order food right away, with Addison deciding what she and Ebony will eat, and me sticking to my usual order. As always, the food arrives promptly.
The conversation, however, doesnât flow, and the three of us eat in tense silence. I wonder what we look like to others.
Is it strange for young people like us to sit in silence while eating? Why do I even care?
I usually wouldnât. These girls are changing me, revealing a side of me I didnât know existedâa side that cares about others besides myself.
My thoughts drift to my parents, their recent ultimatum about work, and then to Daniel. I think about the job Iâve been neglecting, the mounting bills that are eating into my savings, and my sisters who seem to have their lives together.
And then thereâs Atty, whoâs everything our parents want. I donât think I care anymore.
I try to push these thoughts away as I drive us back to my parentsâ house. I long for the quiet in my mind, for the calm and suppression I used to have.
I miss the drugs; they kept my mind from wandering like this.
âHow long has it been now? A few weeks? More?â
I thought quitting would be harder, but itâs been easier than I expected. Cannabis is much easier to quit than the hard stuff.
But then again, Ebony seems to be doing better too. She hasnât asked me for drugs or tried to find any, as far as I know. Zach always keeps a little stash tucked away, and Iâm pretty sure heâd share if she just asked.
Heâs never been one to judge about drug use, never made me feel as bad as the others. I suppose thatâs one thing I can give him credit for.
By the time we make it home, itâs late, past eight in the evening. I think I intentionally stayed out longer to avoid being here.
We took the scenic route back home; I drove aimlessly for a bit, watching the sunâs journey across the sky. Iâm sure my dad thinks Iâm up to something.
I half expect a welcoming committee when we pull up, but surprisingly, the house is quiet. I leave the girls and head to my room, craving a few moments of solitude, only to find Maddison has claimed my space.
Sheâs curled up under the duvet, fast asleep. For a moment, I consider telling her to leaveâto reclaim my room, my sanctuary.
But something holds me back, something deep within me as I watch her sleep. I find myself appreciating things I shouldnât.
The curve of her breasts in the tank top sheâs wearing, the way they press together as she lies on her side. Her lips are slightly parted, revealing her teeth.
Her hair is a tangled mess sprawled across my pillow. I walk over and stand at the foot of my bed.
My bedâwhere sheâs peacefully sleeping.
She shouldnât be here, but for some inexplicable reason, I canât bring myself to kick her out. Iâm confused; my mind is playing games with me.
My feelings for her and Ebony are a jumbled mess, and I wish I had someone to talk to about these changes within me. But my mom would just jump to conclusions and assume Iâm falling in love, and my dads⦠Well, I already know what they think about the girls.
And my brother? What would he think?
I honestly donât know, but Iâm pretty sure heâd be surprised and probably a bit quiet about the whole idea of me actually liking these girls that Iâve sort of rescued.