Epilogue
Discovering Us Spin-Off: Introspection
ASHER
^FOUR YEARS LATER^
If someone had predicted that Iâd be standing here as Callumâs partner in Sense, I would have laughed it off. I would have insisted that I wasnât deserving of such a title. My life had been a series of missteps. Despite having the potential for greatness, I had chosen the path of addiction.
I could have been Attyâs partner in the hotels and club, working side by side with my twin, just as our father had envisioned. Alternatively, I could have carved out a life for myself away from all this, given my wealth and intellect. But again, I chose drugs.
If someone had told me that I would be clean of all drugs and alcohol for four years today, I would have vehemently denied it. I would have insisted that I lacked the strength to be anything more than a selfish addict. Yet, here I am, ticking off milestones as I build a life for Maddy and myself.
Damn, I almost lost her, and it was a bumpy ride for a while as we tried to move forward. I was so engrossed in my addiction that I missed the signs that she needed more from me.
I was under the impression that I was giving her my all, treating her right, and making her feel loved and complete. But that was all a figment of my imagination.
I wasnât taking care of her; I wasnât loving her the way she deserved. I never once asked if she needed more, never once checked if she was happy. I was seeing what I wanted to see, pretending to give her my all while secretly spiraling back into addiction.
Thatâs why I chose rehab, spending nearly a year away from my family, away from her, to work on myself and discover who I truly was.
Itâs strange; I was convinced that my memories of taking care of her sexual needs were real, but reality slapped me in the face. She felt the need to seek someone else to make her feel complete.
Yes, she was wrong for that, and perhaps we should have communicated more, but we were just kids in our first relationship. Weâve grown so much since then, improved ourselves individually and as a couple, and weâre finally happy.
She indulges my need to take care of her, and I cater to her desire to be dominated. Weâre happy and content, and I wouldnât want it any other way.
And honestly, Iâve even visited my parentsâ club a few times, purely for educational purposes, of course. She wasnât introduced to sex the way I was.
It wasnât all romance and candlelight for her, and I never bothered to acknowledge or confront that. Her needs were more complex; she craved things that seemed almost morally wrongâthings that I resented my fathers for because my mother had similar desires.
But I understand now that her being my submissive is not what I once thought. A submissive holds a lot of power in the grand scheme of things, and I like Maddy to have power.
I enjoy elevating her above me where she controls everything to her heartâs content, and she willingly steps down as my submissive in our private time to find her unique high. Seeing her thrive in a life of natural ecstasy, Iâve learned to find my own natural high in her.
Maddy is my world, and Iâve relished living this sober and privileged life beside her. Sure, we both still have our issues, and we both work on ourselves with our therapists, but at the end of the day, weâre there for each otherâwith open arms and listening ears.
And thatâs one of the main reasons why Iâve decided to propose parenthood. I know sheâs been yearning for a childâsubtly soâbut Iâve seen the way she lights up around babies.
She transforms into a different person as she coos down at these miniature versions of us adults. But she has respected me enough not to ask me for the one thing I swore I would never have.
She deserves thisâand so do I. I firmly believe this. Iâm waiting for her as she finishes her shift as the assistant manager of my parentsâ hotel. She stepped down from helping Atty run Mile High, stating she couldnât handle the jobâs demands.
I was proud of her for making that choice, and Iâm glad she did step down. I believe that the club put her in a mindset that perhaps contributed to our significant failures back then. Sheâs been around a lot of triggering behavior lately, and I canât help but think itâs planting seeds in her mindâseeds that might not have sprouted otherwise.
âHey, Ash,â she greets me, standing at the front desk with a new trainee sheâs been mentoring.
Sheâs wearing one of the hotelâs crisp white button-downs, her name stitched neatly over her heart. The shirt is tucked into a form-fitting pencil skirtâa soft shade of grayâand sheâs paired it with black stilettos that make her legs look miles long.
I canât help but love when she dresses like thisâit brings my secretary fantasy to life, and we often have a little fun when she gets home from work.
She says goodbye to the young girl sheâs been training, then comes over to me, planting a kiss on my lips without a hint of embarrassment.
Who knew touch could be a love language?
âDo we have plans? Am I late?â she asks, stepping back to hold my hand.
âNo, youâre not late. But I do have plans. Dinner, actually. Are you hungry?â
âStarving,â she replies, her lips curling into a secretive smileâmy secretive smile.
I know sheâs already anticipating whatâs to come. Tonightâs her night, which means we play. But first, dinner.
Weâre quickly seated at the semi-private table my family always uses, and our appetizers arrive almost immediately. I let her enjoy the sautéed mushrooms before I speak again, taking a sip of water as I watch her swallow in a way thatâs undeniably sexy.
Iâm a lucky man, indeed.
âWhat?â she asks, her cheeks flushing a deep pink as my gaze lingers on her a bit longer than I intended.
âI have something I want to talk about, Maddy.â
âWhat?â she asks again, a hint of panic creeping into her voice.
I smile and reach for her hand, staying silent as the waiter clears our plates.
âWhat is it, Ash?â she asks.
God, she takes my breath away.
âI want us to try for a baby,â I say, watching her closely to gauge her reaction.
âAre you serious, Ash?â
âMm-hmmâ¦â
She lets out a squeal so loud that she quickly covers her mouth, her eyes wide with surprise.
I donât think Iâll ever tire of seeing that look of pure joy in her eyes.
âIâd love that. Can you imagine a mini-you running around, Ash?â
âNo, I canâtâbut I can imagine a mini you,â I tell her, and we both burst into laughter.
I canât help but wonder. What will we be blessed with?
^SEVENTEEN MONTHS LATER^
MADDISON
I never thought Iâd be a mom, especially after everything thatâs happened. I figured my niece, nephew, and cousins would be the closest Iâd get to loving a baby. Initially, I didnât want kids, which was fine because Asher didnât want any either.
But as time went on and we grew together, overcoming our issues and becoming a solid team, I found myself yearning for a child of our own. Just one would be enough, one little person to shower with love.
But I knew Asher had no desire to be a dad. So, when he was the one to suggest we try for a baby, I was more than just a little surprised. My heart swelled with an indescribable emotion that day.
He wanted to start a family with me, wanted a child who would call him Dad. The idea filled me with joy.
Of course, getting pregnant doesnât happen instantly, and I needed some scar revision surgery due to a previous ectopic pregnancy. But eventually, we did get pregnant, and to our astonishment, our one baby turned out to be two.
Identical twins nestled in my womb, growing steadily over the past nine months. Iâm scared, thrilled, and apprehensive.
I thought weâd have one baby to care for, to feed, change, and take turns soothing when they couldnât sleep. But it seems God had other plans.
God always seems to have His own plans for us. And I thank Him every day. He helped me find my voice, helped Asher get sober, and now Heâs blessed us with not one, but two miracle babies.
My pregnancy hasnât been easy; carrying two babies is obviously more taxing than one. Thatâs why we decided to have an elective cesarean section this morningâbaby A is transverse, and it wasnât worth risking the remaining three weeks of my pregnancy hoping theyâd change position.
Regardless, Iâm ready, excited, and a bit nervous. Weâre all prepped, a nurse has just gone to fetch Asher, and Iâm lying here, staring at the bright white ceiling and lights above me, trying to keep my breath steady.
Soon, weâll know if we have two daughters or two sons.
âYou okay, baby?â Asher asks, making me turn to my left where theyâve placed a stool for him.
I nod, not sure if I can speak as I shiver from the effects of the spinal block. I focus on him, noticing the camera around his neck, ready to capture the birth.
I can only stare at him, hoping this will be over soon.
The doctors are pulling and pushing against my stomach. It doesnât hurt, but it feels strange and uncomfortable.
âHow are we doing, Maddy?â the nurse asks.
âIt feels weird,â I manage to say, my voice shaky.
âBaby Aâs nearly out.â She reassures me with a smile and a comforting squeeze on my shoulder.
Sheâs right. They pull hard, and then thereâs a moment of silence before our firstborn announces their arrival with a loud cry.
Asherâs standing, snapping pictures over the makeshift fabric wall as the doctor holds up our child for us to see.
âOh fuck, itâs a girl, Maddy,â he says, turning back to me, his eyes wide and filled with tears.
âA girl?â I echo as our second child makes their entrance.
Everything goes quiet as I process this. The girls are quickly taken to the trolleys where two teams attend to them.
Asher moves between the tables, taking photos and talking to our daughters. I can only lie there and watch him cry, which makes me cry.
Then the nurses hand him our babies, taking his camera so he can hold both girls.
He comes to sit beside me, looking incredibly proud. With the nurseâs help, he places the girls on either shoulder, allowing me to take turns looking at our daughters up close for the first time.
They look just like their daddy, with dark hair covering their heads, his nose, his mouth. Theyâre like two perfect little copies of their father.
âCongratulations, guys,â the nurse says.
Asher grins at me, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.
âSoâ¦â he begins, reminding me of the wager we made on the day he first suggested this possibility.
The bet was simple: if we had girls, heâd get to pick their names, and if they were boys, the honor would be mine.
âIâd like you to meet Aurora and Avery,â he announces, leaning over to plant a soft kiss on my forehead.
Heâs standing over me, capturing our first family photo with our newborn twin daughters.
Aurora and Avery Henderson⦠I have to admit, heâs chosen beautifully for our girls.
End of Book 4