chapter 61

Thulir's POV"Akka, you should change your nose stud. It's fading," Thalir remarked suddenly, catching me off guard.Her words brought an unintentional pause to my thoughts. When was the last time I even thought about changing this nose stud? A faint smile played on my lips as I realized how far I'd drifted from the younger version of myself—the one who used to change her nose pins and rings so often that it became a sort of statement. I had an impressive collection back then, and the habit itself was sparked by none other than my crazy younger sister, who loved to meddle in my choices."You know, Anbu, it was me who convinced Akka to get her nose pierced," Thalir declared, breaking into the story she never seemed to tire of narrating.Anbu, who was seated on my left, looked intrigued and leaned in to listen. This was all the encouragement that Thalir, seated to my right, needed to dive deeper."Akka did her nose piercing much later," she began with a flourish. "I was the one to get my piercing first, of course, and from then on, I wouldn't stop nagging her to get hers done too. She just wasn't interested. But you know me—I don't give up so easily! I'd always drag her along to choose nose pins and rings for me. I thought, maybe if she picked a few herself, it might ignite her curiosity. Slowly but surely, it worked. She finally got her nose pierced, but let me tell you, it took so much persuasion and borderline brainwashing!"Her animated expression made me laugh, but it was Anbu who seemed utterly captivated. As the story unfolded, her phone chimed, snapping her attention away. She picked it up, read the message, and sighed audibly, her mood visibly shifting.Sitting between them, I noticed her reaction immediately. With a slight tilt of my head and a raised eyebrow, I silently asked what was wrong. Anbu glanced up, hesitated, and then spoke softly."It's already 10 PM. He's reminding me," she said, her voice tinged with a mix of guilt and frustration.Thalir stopped mid-sentence, her curiosity piqued. "Reminding you of what?" she asked, leaning forward.Anbu hesitated again, her lips pressing into a thin line. I reached out gently. "Anbu, you don't have to hesitate with us, ma," I said in a reassuring tone.She smiled faintly, gathering her thoughts before explaining, "I just recently joined back, but my sleep cycle is a mess because of Ilayakiyan. He stays awake all night, and I've gotten into the habit of sleeping only in the mornings when he finally goes down. That's the only time I can catch some rest. Even though Atha and Mama take him to their room a lot now to give me breaks, I still struggle to get back on track. It's hard to adjust. So, he—my husband—reminds me to sleep before 10 PM. If I stay awake past that, it's like Shivaratri for me. I just end up staying up all night. In those moments, I don't want to disturb Atha and Mama, who handle him all day, so I keep Ilayakiyan with me. And tomorrow, semester exams begin. I need to get there early, so I specifically asked him to remind me yesterday."Her voice trailed off, and she looked down, a shadow of guilt flickering across her face."Anbu, you should have told us earlier, ma!" Thalir spoke up, her tone slightly scolding but full of concern. I nodded in agreement.Anbu looked up at us, her eyes earnest. "That... Anni, this is the first time after my marriage that I've seen you both together like this—happy, laughing, and talking like old times. I didn't want to ruin it. I didn't even notice the time until I got that message. I'm sorry, Anni."Her sincerity struck a chord deep within me. Anbazhaghi, or Anbu as we fondly called her, was Mithran uncle's youngest daughter—the quietest and most reserved of his three children. She was someone who often seemed to fade into the background, rarely attending family functions or gatherings, unlike her siblings.So, when Amma announced that Anbu was her choice for Thuyavan, it had surprised us all. It was an unexpected match, but everyone had been delighted, especially Mithran uncle, who was a close family friend and well-wisher. This is full on arranged marriage, a union that brought joy to both families. At that time, Agathiyan's posting was in Orissa, and we had only been able to attend the wedding briefly and went back.Looking back, it hit me how little we had engaged with Anbu back then. My relationship with Thalir had been strained during that period, and although we had liked Anbu and spoken to her kindly, our interactions had been brief and polite. This was the first time we were sharing an evening like this, filled with casual banter, nostalgia, and real connection.And now, hearing Anbu's heartfelt words, I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. How had we not made room for these moments sooner? How had we let so much time pass without truly embracing her as part of our lives? She had carried so much on her shoulders, quietly and without complaint, and it took this evening for me to realize just how much she deserved to feel supported and understood.The illusion I held of being responsible and fulfilling all my duties now felt deeply questionable. Had I focused so much on Revathi Illam that I ended up neglecting my maternal family? The thought unsettled me, refusing to be dismissed. I knew how people would speak—about her, about us—and the weight of those whispers made my heart heavy. Anbu is a reserved girl, and I doubt she would have shown her hurt outwardly, but I couldn't shake the feeling that the judgments would have affected her in some way.I recalled one occasion when Amma had retorted and taunted a group of women. At the time, I hadn't given it much thought. Those women had been blaming Anbu for the rift between Thalir and me, which had also impacted Thuyavan. Their backspeaking had crossed a line, and Amma had confronted them on the spot. Poor girl—how had I overlooked all of this? This was her struggle, her pain, and this is also my family. My self-loathing spiraled as I tried to make sense of my own failures.I was jolted back to reality when Thalir spoke with sudden authority."Okay, it's getting late, Anbu. You go and sleep now. And this weekend, it's just us three—shopping, spa, everything! It's our time, and from now on, we're going to catch up on all the moments we missed. Don't even dare to feel guilty or blame yourself for anything. None of this is your fault, understand?"Her stern tone was met with a soft smile from Anbu as she nodded in agreement. I turned to look at Thalir, pride swelling in my chest. My little sister—childlike in so many ways, playful and carefree—had grown into someone capable of great empathy and wisdom. She knew when to set aside her mischievous demeanor and live up to the responsibility of being Revathi Illam's daughter-in-law. She embodied the legacy beautifully.Then, she turned her attention to me. "Akka, I'm heading to my room now. You should rest too. Malar and Alar are alone inside—go sleep with them. If they wake up in the middle of the night and find the bed empty, they'll be scared, Akka."Her concern brought a chuckle out of me. "Those two are mini Kumbakarnis—they won't wake up in the middle of the night. You go and sleep. Goodnight, Thalir. And Anbu, goodnight to you too—go sleep now."They both smiled at me warmly before leaving the balcony. We had been sitting there for hours, trying not to disturb Malar and Alar, who were fast asleep in the bedroom. But once they left, the space felt overwhelmingly quiet. I was left alone, grappling with an avalanche of thoughts—regret, guilt, and the bittersweet realization of the ways I had failed to bridge gaps in my relationships.