Chapter 29

SARAH

The apartment was quiet when she entered, Seth asleep on the sofa with Indie tucked into his arm, just as she had left them. She peeped into Seth’s room and checked on Connor, but the little boy was tucked on his knees, his butt in the air with the most angelic smile on his face. Sarah checked on Amelia and smiled as she brushed the blonde hair from her daughter’s face before placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

Sarah stood under the shower until the water ran cool, her thoughts on the few hours she had spent with Gabe, her emotions rocking from the ecstasy she felt in his arms to the worry about him when she left him. She knew Gabe was a dangerous man, and not just to her emotional well-being. He had become a solid, muscular rock when they had heard the sound, and if she hadn’t been standing close enough to feel his heart beating and his warm skin, she would have sworn he was a statue.

Even his voice had gone dangerously soft when he had commanded her into the truck, the use of her full name telling her that arguing was futile. And then the fear when she heard the shot. She hadn’t even seen him take a gun with him and hadn’t known where it had come from, but it must have been close enough for him to have armed himself. He most definitely didn’t have it on him when they were together.

Sarah shut the water off when she started shivering, not sure if it was because of the cold water or the fear that had gripped her in the quiet after the echo of the shot had died on the lake. Hearing Gabe call her was like her heart restarting, and the world allowing her to breathe again. She checked her phone, worry creasing her brow when there was nothing from Gabe yet. He had said he would call her, and he would keep that promise, she knew that.

Feeling restless, Sarah went to the kitchen and took out the ingredients for the marzipan trimmings she would need for the wedding party she was preparing for, her phone close by in case it rang. She was busy shaping the petals for the roses when Seth slid onto the counter beside her. She glanced up at her brother but carried on with her work.

“Jiminy is going to break your heart, Sarah.”

She looked at him in shock. “How—how did you know?”

He smiled fondly. “Gabe and I have shared bathroom facilities since we were eighteen, Sar. I know the smell of his cologne, which was all over you this morning. And when Indie told me about the messages from Jimi, it was easy to connect the dots.” He shrugged.

Chagrined, she dropped her eyes to the delicate flowers she was making. After setting four more petals on the counter, she frowned up at her brother. “Why are you both so convinced he’ll break my heart, Seth?”

“Both of us?”

“He basically told me the same thing this morning.”

Seth bit his lip, and she knew he was debating telling her, but then he shook his head. “The man who saved me fifteen years ago is a hero to me, Sar. He was there for me when my lover died on my shoulders, and he was my voice of reason after Ranya died. He was the one who kept my sanity intact when I thought I had lost my world. And if he was the same man who I had left back in the Marines ten years ago, I wouldn’t have reservations about you being with him.

“Don’t get me wrong, Sar, I love the man like a brother. I have yet to meet a man with more integrity and morals than Gabriel Von Ashner. Despite the shit we were assigned to do back then, I would gladly have walked you down the aisle to him.” Seth stared at the neon green numbers of the oven clock as they flashed, his eyes troubled as he thought about Gabe and the demons haunting him.

Then Seth looked at her. “Something happened to Gabe before he retired. Something made him retire. And that is what is scaring me, Sarah. Whatever made Gabe leave the Marines must have been so bad that it changed my fun-loving friend into a haunted shell. My fear for you, Sarah, is not that Gabe doesn’t want to love you but that he cannot love you, no matter how much he wants to. He will snuff out that light he switched on inside of you with a flick of his fingers.”

Sarah hadn’t realized that she was crying until he gently wiped the tears that had fallen. She rested her head against his thigh as she silently sobbed, knowing that he spoke the truth. She had sensed it in Gabe, and Gabe had tried to tell her the same thing but not as eloquent as Seth had. They stayed like that for a long while after her sobs had subsided, Seth gently stroking her hair.

~“…I’m hell up here on a high wire, you’re the hallelujah kind, I’m the dust that spins in a gust of wind that’s blowing by, I’m a desert dry, and in my thirsty eyes, you look like rain…”~

Sarah remembered the night Gabe had sung those words to her when he was dosed up with medication when she had fetched him at the hospital. His eyes had been nearly black in the dim lights of the dashboard of his truck, the emotion so palpable Sarah had wanted to wipe it away by stroking her thumbs across his chiseled cheekbones.

“I’m not saying don’t love him, Sar, because heaven knows that will make me a hypocrite. Just don’t tear yourself to shreds trying to save him, because only he can do that.”

Sarah looked up at her brother, her eyes red from crying. “What if he’s the one putting my soul back together, Sethford?”

He looked at her, understanding registering in his eyes. Her phone rang before Seth could respond. He chuckled softly as he spotted the name Jimi on her caller ID. “You better get that then. I’m gonna get my woman to bed. I love you, Sar.”

“I know,” she whispered as she accepted the call.

“Rah…”

Her bones melted at his gravelly voice. He sounded tired and frustrated, and she could detect a bit of irritation as well.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She choked back a laugh. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

“Yes.”

She heard the smile in his voice and sighed softly in relief. She put the phone on speaker and then packed the finished roses on a drying tray and started wiping down the counter. “I’m relieved that you are okay. You never told me how you got your injuries though…”

“Ah, Rah, it’s all part of the job.”

“Cazzate!” She called his bullshit and he laughed loudly. “Seth has been doing this job longer than you and the only time he was shot was by Tereza, his crazy ex-wife…and that was while he was between shifts.”

“Nah, Rah. There are three types of cops… Seth, me, and the one trying to sell his badge.”

“So what’s the difference?”

“The sellout will give every excuse to half-ass the job, cut corners, and just try and do the minimum while taking the maximum from those around him. Cops like Seth do the job because they love to serve the community, and they’re immune to taking bullets. It’s as though they have an invisible shield that deflects the bullets. And then there are cops like me—”

“Who’ll take the bullet so that cops like Seth can do the job unscathed,” she said softly.

“I’m no hero, Sarah. Don’t put a cape on me.” The smile had died from his voice when he spoke.

With a deep breath, she changed the subject. “Why do you wear that specific cologne?”

“Don’t you like it?” he asked slowly.

She laughed. “I love it… It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“Hey, Jiminy,” Seth greeted as he walked into the kitchen. Sarah turned to him with a frown and scowled deeper when Gabe was silent for a bit.

“Hey, Seth,” he returned. After a heartbeat, he asked Sarah softly, “I thought you were going to wait before telling him?”

She grimaced. “Seth figured it out. He recognized your cologne after you left this morning.”

“Okay.”

She could almost see the grin on his face, and she missed him immensely.

“So, now that the fam knows, how about a proper date?” he said.

She gasped but then looked up at Seth who had dropped the glass he was filling with water into the sink.

He spun around to look at her with a dark scowl. “If the two of you haven’t been on a proper date, then what the fuck have you been doing?”

Simultaneously, Sarah and Gabe responded, “Fucking…,” before bursting into laughter