CH. 27 All or nothing (Part 2)

Dear all, as I promised in part 1 and as my status says, here comes part 2 of this chapter and well... get ready and take a comfy seat 'cause it's really long..no kidding!

Hope you'll enjoy it and well, I thank you sooooo much for all your comments and messages and you are all incredible!! Alexander Ludwig

Dedicated to all of you and to ANATOLEG' fans and in particular to angerbda, because I know how curious you were about Anatoly's past and about that specific person. Hope you'll enjoy it.

Enjoy!

DMITRI POV

When Jasper called me and sounded so stressed, at first I thought he was the one in trouble and I almost tripped down the stairs and risked to break my neck. Then my kitty told me it was that bastard of my brother and explained me what happened. While I drove there I almost got in an accident for a couple of retards driving in the worst and slowest way ever; for crying out loud, just freaking stay at home or get a damn cab if you don’t know how to damn take a car in the middle of New York. Retards. And sure wasn’t easy while talking to that Oleg dude and knowing dad was there and listening. That scary man seemed rather unhappy, to use a euphemism man, and wouldn’t like to be in my brother’s shoes.

I think I never cursed so much and honked like that before. I just wanted to get there to Jasper and see he was fine, because I am telling you, even if he tried to sound calm, he sounded stressed and I was afraid for the same thing Sasha was afraid. My kitty told me that Anatoly left the gang and got beaten for that for sure, now what was damn worrying me was the idea that those bastards could be still around the place. What if they would show up for round two? Sasha had the same fear and I knew he was probably already there, but told me to keep it cool and calm. And he was right.

One thing sure was that I was going to get tickets. Yep and who gives half crap about that.

So my brother really left the gang..wow…couldn’t still believe it. He has been acting sort of weird in the past weeks, but who thought he had that in mind? I understood why Oleg wasn’t so happy…man, he was responsible to look after him and right when he was outside New York that blockhead of my twin had to do such things. As I said, I wouldn’t like to be in his shoes. But man, he had left the gang.

Man, he had gone out of his twisted mind, I swear it. But I was damn happy he had finally managed the guts to leave that gang, it was about time; it was driving our parents crazy with worry and they had no more idea what to do for him.

Jas told me on the phone he had been beaten and I thought at first he somehow deserved a couple of punches, but sure didn’t expect to find my twin in those conditions; to be honest here, it shocked me and I knew that when I saw him I must have looked rather shaken. I was immensely grateful to Sasha for being there with his brother and I immediately went to hug my monkey, because I could see he was freaking out. But mostly, I was grateful to Jasper for having stopped.

Anatoly looked like crap, but that wasn’t the main point here man. The point was that I was honestly worried for him and so was my best buddy; he might seem made of ice and I knew he sure wasn’t going to forget and forgive all of this in a blink, but even with his poker face and stoic manners, I knew he was worried. I mean, they used to be very good friends. I never saw Tolya in such conditions, even when he had a fight with other gangs and came back home with a couple of bruises, and I know we also had fights and the like, but you had no idea how he looked like. One of his eyes was swollen and so part of his upper lip; his entire mouth was bruised and had few cuts, and so his face and his hands. I could tell he was feeling great pain and he was grimacing while Vanya checked his wounds. My eyes shifted on one of his hands and two fingers were clearly broken or sprained and I believe also his arm, since he wasn’t moving it. He looked pale and green at the same time and I had no idea how he managed to keep so collected.

I went beside him and I knew I said something moronic, but had to let it out. I mean, you know me right? I don’t exactly filter what I think and say, it just goes out. Good God, I was so happy Jas kept always beside me, softly touching me and sometimes running his fingers in my hair, knowing how that soothed me. When I told Tolya I had called Oleg, he shot me a rather freaked glare and I almost laughed at that, but stopped right when I saw again his busted face. It wasn’t exactly the time to be funny and I just listened to what Vanya had to say about his conditions and I was happy he declared he had been lucky. And he was right, my brother had been lucky indeed. I exhaled and scratched my hair rather frustrated, because I was worry and angry at the same time. Look where his stupid idea of joining a gang had put him. Moronic blockhead. Jasper kept beside me the whole time and I kept calm because he was there with me, I swear it.

“Hey tiger, how are you?” He asked me while nobody looked at us, because talking to those two men Oleg had called. Jas placed his hands on my face and pulled it down, touching my forehead with his. “You ok? Uhm, don’t worry for him; he’s going to be alright. Ivan said that he has no broken ribs and uhm well, I think that’s good and uhm, those two men will take care of him and …” I pressed my lips on his and he widened his eyes and went to pull away, but I kept him there. I needed to feel my kitty.

“Thank you Jas.” I simply said.

“Boy, I did nothing.”

“You stopped and called for help, thank you. You had all the rights to leave him there and walk away, but you didn’t and I know he is a twisted bastard and everything, but he’s still my brother and you Jasper are such an incredible person..” He blushed at my words and looked away, but I tipped his chin back. “Hey baby, it’s true.”

“Hmm well, also Travis helped and he thought of calling Alex immediately and boy, that for sure was smart, because in this way his brother could give him first aid. I was sort of freaking out when he insisted not to call an ambulance and boy, so glad Travis was there.” He relaxed and leaned on me. Lord, feeling him was like a balm for me.

“Yeah, I know. But that doesn’t change the fact that you stopped and stayed there with him waiting for help.”

“He’s your brother Dima…I couldn’t just walk away… I-I .. oh boy, I would never do that, especially knowing how much you miss him.” Man, was my kitty sweet.

What would I do without him? Nothing, I’d be another idiotic moron. I mean, see the point here? Jasper was such an incredible person; he had thought of me and forgot about his own fears. Man, how freaking lucky I had been to find him?

Those two men strapped Anatoly to a stretcher and took him inside a military ambulance and so my dad and I followed him. Oleg kept aside and just observed everything without saying a word, well, I mean, he had said enough before and yep, he was royally pissed with my brother, but mostly, he was dangerously enraged with the pieces of crap that beat Anatoly and now I knew he was brewing painful vendetta. He told us to go and that he would reach us at the clinic. He had thought of everything and sure this blockhead here could call himself lucky.

I think the punches and kicks and probably the painkiller were having some side effects on my twin’s brain. He could now talk more and he just kept saying things that had my brain almost reaching the limit. And then he dropped quite the bomb and had me and dad gawking at him like two retards.

“I am sorry, Dima.” He said looking me directly in the eyes and I knew he meant those words. I froze there and what came after shocked me even more. I never thought to see the day where my brother openly said that. I almost couldn’t believe my own ears. “For everything and Jasper was right. I miss you. I miss you all.” I just kept staring at him. He missed me, he had just damn admitted it and he also said he missed everyone else and finally called my baby with his name. About time.  Then he looked at dad. “I am sorry dad, for everything I have done.”

Now I was staring at my brother in complete shock and I believe it was the same for our father. The dofus there had just openly apologized and admitted that he had missed all of us; even dad looked at me and then looked back at Tolya as if looking at Han Solo confessing to be gay and in love with Darth Vader, I mean, how freaky would that be? So you got my point, right man?

“What?” I snapped out.

“I am sorry and I miss you all.” He repeated and I knew he cost him damn effort, but the hell with that, he had to go through that. “I am honestly sorry Dima, so sorry for everything and for what I did…I have missed you so much..”

I gulped down because didn’t know what to say. I was happy to hear that, but at the same time angry. Damn it, it was all so frustrating.

“You know that just a couple of words will not make the trick, right? You know that it won’t be so easy to forget everything, right?” I said, well, asked. He sort of nodded, if that could be considered nodding, given how strapped he was. “It will take forever to Sasha to decently greet you and I believe same for River and you will have to go on your knees in front of Jasper and his friends and tell them the same. They deserve it and you have to make things clear now.”

Fine, think whatever you want. That I had been a tactless moron for saying those words; that I should have been more understanding and all the crap you want. Well man, first try to be in my shoes and then maybe you can have a say. I mean, I still remember how Jasper was terrified of me thinking I was my twin. I still remember how he looked at him that day in the kitchen. I still remember how much dad and mum suffered trying to find a reason and solution and blaming themselves.

“I know.” He simply said and yeah, he really got what I meant.

“Man, I am starting to think that you just hit your head pretty hard.” I sort of joked and he snorted.

“Douche bag.” He grunted.

“You are the one to talk.” I replied and then paused. My brain was about to split today, because it absorbed too much information and right now I had no idea what to think of all of it. “Listen Anatoly, I have no idea what to say right now, too many news at once and..” He stopped me.

“I have more to tell.”

“Are you kidding me, man? More? Oh crap, my brain is going to melt.” I grunted and I saw a hint of a thin smile on his face. When was the last time I saw him smiling? Damn it, I had no idea. “I miss you too, but you know it. Jasper is been simply amazing and dare you to say otherwise.”

He rolled his eyes and couldn’t understand why he didn’t like my man so much, but then he cracked another thin smile.

“Fine, the chipmunk is pretty awesome, I admit it. And yeah, has cute eyes.” Now it was me rolling my eyes and then staring at him. Did I just hear well? The hell? “Also Travis seems an interesting guy and pretty hot.” Err..come again, the hell??

I gawked and almost chocked in air and I think the same happened to dad that then cleared his throat.

“Man, you seriously hit your head pretty badly, because you just call a guy hot and not a common guy, but Sasha’s man and if you value your life you better keep it for yourself. He’s damn jealous and possessive and … wait, that’s not the point here. You just called a guy hot? And you even said that Jasper has cute eyes? Hey, hands off and back off, he’s mine and only mine. What the hell, Tolya? Dad, he needs an x-ray to his brain, seriously. You are just the biggest homophobe in the US.”

He stared at me and then at dad and oh crap, I knew more was to come.

“I am gay.” He deadpanned with calm voice as if he was just telling us he had blonde hair.

“Oh man, just shut up until we reach the clinic. I cannot take more of this, I need Jasper.” I slumped back and closed my eyes. My twin brother was gay.

“Are you serious, son?” I can tell our father was rather shocked too. I mean, two sons and both gay? Yeah well, I wasn’t gay, but Jasper-sexual, but still, you got my point.

“Yes, you hate me for that?” Anatoly asked rather tense.

“I think your brother is right in saying that you need a check up to your brain. You forgot the fact your own twin brother has a boyfriend and that we had welcomed Jasper in the family? Please do not tell me that was the reason you changed that much, because you knew our family had always been open-minded and never judged. You forget how close we are to River’s family and how we always welcomed him in our house and loved him?”

“No, not that.”

“Not that what?” My dad inquired.

“Being gay is not the reason.” He said.

Then it hit me again. Better make things clear here.

“Hey, you might be gay, but if you just dare to look at Jasper..” He rolled his eyes and snorted, muttering a “midget” and I just shot him a dark glare. “No, I mean it. No funny ideas about my kitty, you hear me? I told you, he’s mine and only mine and end of the discussion.”

“I don’t care about your precious pet. There is no discussion here.” He grunted. Painkiller was working at full blast now, because he was talking more than before. “Who would like such midget? Only you. And Travis is hotter.”

“Hey, I warn you, and nobody is hotter than my baby. He is the most hot and sexy and I know what I am talking about, given I got to see his bold side and man, he is hot.”

Our father cleared his throat and shot me a rather meaningful glare and ops, maybe I said too much. Guess he wasn’t really comfortable on hearing about my sexual life and well, not that I would go and tell him what we did together and how Jasper was amazing and had a talent for making me crazy and for…err, snap out of it.

“Dmitri, Anatoly. Stop it. You are about to give me a powerful headache and I need time to absorb everything. Of course I do not hate you for being gay, but you will understand I need to time to cope with that.” Dad exhaled and rubbed his eyes, clearly tired. “I do not want to hear another word about this, not now at least and Dima, relax. Jasper clearly has eyes only for you and we do not need to know why you think he is… hot.” I blinked at him, given he had just said that word, and then decided to drop it and we finally reached the clinic.

They took him to a room and told us to wait outside. After a while the others arrived and Jas ran to me and I hugged him there in front of everyone.

“Oh baby, I’m so happy to see you. My brain is about to split, you have no idea.”

“How is Anatoly?” He asked.

“Man, he must have hit his head too harshly, believe me.” Sasha arched one brow and came over with Travis, holding hands. Jasper went a moment to see his friend. “And he just said that your crazy mate is hot.”

“He did what?” He asked almost growling and tugging his man in his arms. Ops, it just slipped out, but it was going to be fun to see Sasha sending threatening glares to Tolya.

“Hell, then he did not hit his head, seems fine to me, if he can see I’m hot.” Travis winked and we both laughed. Seriously, the man was totally crazy.

“I knew it.” Sasha muttered.

“You knew what?” I asked not understanding.

“Your brother is gay, isn’t he?” I stared at him and blinked. Man, he was another under covered Jedi master like River and Derek. “Don’t make that face Dima. I had just this idea and what he just said about MY man just confirmed it; better for his neck to drop any other thought about Travis.”

“Hmm baby, I love when you are so possessive and jealous.” Travis basically purred and snuggled in my friend’s arms that tightened more around him. Yeah, he sure was very jealous.

Also Stevie-midget came over and he just sat down quiet and saw that Ivan was there with him. We then decided to go sit with him and after few minutes Oleg and mum arrived and she was out of her mind. It took all of dad’s everything to calm her down and then she made a huge uproar until they let her see my brother and also dad followed her. She could be pretty scaring when it came to our family, I’m telling you. Do not touch her family or else you’ll face another very dangerous tiger. Oleg was still wearing the black suit, waiting outside with us and leaning on the wall, but he was looking too calm and composed, and Sasha muttered something to me.

“I bet he is planning something. When a man like him looks so calm and cold, it means he is planning something.” I peeked at him again and yeah, my friend was right.

“Your brother has been lucky we were passing by that street.” Travis said, now sitting on Sasha’s laps.

“Actually love, what the hell where you doing in such place?” He inquired.

“We were going to walk to nearby metro station; we just went for shopping as you know around that street there is one of my favorite shops, but we found nothing.” Travis explained and Jasper nodded. Sasha shook his head, but said nothing.

“Uhm yep, I casually turned my head and saw something and then realized it was a person sitting on the street and uhm well, when I saw it was Anatoly..”

“I know kitty.” I let my arms go around his waist and I pulled him closer. Oleg gave us a quick look and I had no idea what he was thinking about.

After what seemed a very long time, they finally let my brother out of that room and confirmed what Vanya said. No broken ribs and no internal damages; only two sprained fingers, a broken one, a broken bone in the forearm and stitches for the wound in the arm and in the brow, aside the bruises and minor cuts. They decided anyway to keep him in for the night, to monitor everything, because they told us he had been very lucky, as the eye was fine even after receiving such hits. They gave him a massive dose of painkiller and he was just knocked out. In the meanwhile Sasha had sent a message to our friends and his family and so they all came to this clinic, even Hayden. Apparently Oleg had left said to let in people asking for Anatoly Denisov if they answered to a list of names he had left at the entrance; he was rather creepy in his efficiency, but he sure was the best at that or else he wouldn’t be working for dad.

OLEG POV

Right now my duty was to stay here and help Mr. and Mrs. Denisov and to be fair I wanted to be certain of Anatoly’s conditions. He was out of any considerable danger, aside some broken bones and he was going to be well in little time; he was such an immature kid and had wasted so much time and now look at this. All of his past friends were here, his family, his brother and his partner and even the Lebedev family. I hoped he was going to realize that people had not left him behind has he thought; but I believe he did not really think it; he just made himself believe in that, as if convincing himself of something in order to be able to stay away.

I knew what was coming after this and I knew he wanted to confess everything. It would take an incredible amount of courage to admit such delicate matter and I had no idea how they will react to that. One thing is to confess to be homosexual, but one different thing was to tell you had feelings for your own sibling. I observed Anatoly that Saturday and few times before, when Dmitri and Jasper were around. His hostility was palpable and that Saturday confirmed my doubts and so did he with his reaction. I would never judge him for this, but I hope he will sort out his feelings, because I believe they had somehow altered.

What he now missed was his brother and not the object of his desire and interest; Anatoly missed having his brother.

Mr. Denisov said it was also thanks to me, but I was not so sure. I did little, only tried to make him understand the need to grow up and face his problems, making him taste his own medicine few times, but very lightly. I sure could not bring myself to hit or hurt him. And the fact I grew attached to someone I was suppose to look after and take care, as an order from my boss, it meant I sort of failed. I could not get attached to Anatoly or else my thinking and reactions would be too personal and impulsive. Of course I was attached to the Denisov family and I was grateful to them and I would give my life for them, but there are different ways of getting attached to a person. And the way with Anatoly was very different.

Anatoly had finally taken the right choice, but I was still raging mad. He should have told me about that and not simply decide it on his own. What if the payback would have gone too far? What if they would have killed him? They said he risked to lose his eye because of the hits and that he been lucky to keep it intact. Why he had to take such decision alone? He knew I watched his back, he realized that in the past weeks. And right when I was outside New York. My duty was to keep him safe and out of troubles and now he was in a hospital.

But mind my words. They were all going to pay for this, from the first little piece of useless crap to the last one.

A good and planned revenge takes time, because if you hurry things, it will not be effective and efficient, but if you take the right time and keep your blood cool to the right level, revenge would be something very enjoyable.

JASPER POV

They were all here and my tiger was really happy to see all of his friends around and here for his brother, no matter what he had done in the past. Alex really thought of everything and so did that huge and tall man, uhm, Oleg. Oh boy, he really looked scaring and intimidating and the fact he was wearing a dark suit and kept alone and silent with his hard eyes planted on the door of the room where they kept Anatoly, uhm well, that made him even more frightening. Boy, he was taller than Dima and Alex, so uhm, have your idea.

River and Derek sat beside us and Dee asked so many questions that my tiger snapped out saying that his brain was short-circuiting and so Travis and I explained what happened. River said almost nothing and he had an unreadable expression in his eyes, as usual sure, but don’t know, it looked different this time. He smiled at me and then he stood up and went to sit beside Alex and saw them quietly talking about something; my best friend winked and gave them space and privacy.

Dima was now relaxing down, hearing that Anatoly had not reported internal damages and that had no ribs broken or else. He will have a scar on the brow of his swollen eye and a scar probably on his upper lip, given the cut was deep, but my tiger shrugged and said that was nothing if compared to what he had actually risked. I peeked at Stevie and I knew it was costing him to stay here, because he had a very peculiar personality that took everything very personally and he was very stubborn. But I was happy he decided to stay with me and Dima.

When they finally took Anatoly out of the room where they made all of the check-ups, he was sleeping because of the painkillers and tranquillizers, as he was rather agitated they said, because he began to talk too much and he just needed to rest and don’t move. He was going to spend the night in here and only his family could stay, but somehow they managed to let me stay, since boy, there was no way I would leave my tiger alone. I called my dad, because I knew it would be pointless to call mother, and explained everything and after exchanging few words with Mr. Denisov, he gave me permission to stay over and said he would come in the morning to visit. It was of course out of politeness, but uhm, I was happy that dad reacted like that.

Mr. Lebedev and Julie talked to Dima’ parents and she offered to help with rehabilitation in case their son needed it and boy, she was really amazing and I just thought why mother could not be like her? River and Alex asked if it was possible to see Anatoly, but the doctor said it was better to let him rest and said they could come back in the morning. Derek tried to convince him and oh boy, you know how he can be, but that didn’t work and at the end Hayden dragged him away. Hayden didn’t personally know Anatoly, because he met the guys right before entering high school, but nonetheless he was there.

When everyone left, Dima went a moment with his parents to sign some papers and so I found myself waiting alone with that man, Oleg. Oh boy. I nervously sat on the bench and pretended to find the floor very interesting and then to find my green Vans interesting, but I could feel his stare on me and that was unnerving.

“May I speak a word to you and ask few things?” He asked politely, but with a rather hard and intense tone of voice.

I timidly turned my eyes on him and simply nodded. Oh boy, I would never even think of making this man angry at me. He looked at me from his impressive and intimidating height and then he sat beside me.

“Jasper Lucas,” he began rather seriously. “I honestly thank you for what you did today and I respect you for taking the decision of staying and not walking away. Believe me when I say that many would have simply looked to other way.”

“Uhm well, A-Anatoly is...i-is Dima’ brother.” I stuttered.

“It seems I am making you rather nervous and this is not my intention. I apologize; I suppose you can call it professional bias.” He didn’t smile obviously, but uhm, he sat less straight and so I slightly relaxed. I simply shook my head and he went on. “I understand what you mean and I thank you. I need to ask you few things, but if you do not know the answer, is fine.”

“Uhm ok.” I mumbled out.

“Did he say when that happened?” He asked.

“Uhm nope, he couldn’t talk much because it seemed painful and uhm, we didn’t want to force him talking with questions. But uhm, I think it happened in the morning.”

He changed no expression, but boy, I sure didn’t miss the way he clenched one fist.

“He said anything of what happened?”

“Nope, only that he left the gang and then that he didn’t want to call an ambulance and so Travis thought of calling Alex.” I explained and he nodded.

“Yes; that had been very wise and good. I think you understand the reason we took him here in a private clinic where a friend of mine works.” I wasn’t sure if that was a menace or anything, but I simply nodded. Boy, he studied my face and what he said had me gasp. “I am not threatening you, Jasper. I was merely stating a fact. For once Anatoly took a right decision, because calling an ambulance in his situation would be problematic. That would create problems for him and his family and so I must thank Aleksandr and his partner too.”

I relaxed at his words and sort of smiled. For a moment I thought he was threatening me to keep my mouth shut; boy, I sure wouldn’t say a word. It was about Dima’ family!

“Uhm well, I understand what you mean and uhm, I agree. Dima’ parents are amazing and they sure don’t need more to worry about.”

“Yes, you are right.” He had a strong accent and sometimes I had a hard time understanding every word. His accent was harder than Dima’ and it was clear he normally spoke Russian instead of English.

“Can I ask you something?” I impulsively asked and then bit my tongue. Was I out of mind? What was I thinking about? But he studied me and then nodded. “Uhm well, do you know them for long? I mean, Dima and Anatoly?”

“I have been working for their family for more than six years and so yes, I know them for some time and no, Anatoly was different when I began to work for them, but I saw after a little while that he had something in his mind. I believe anyway it is his own decision to tell it or not.” I nodded and he was right.

“Yes, I know. Alex told me a lot about that.”

My boyfriend and his parents came back and Dima stopped in front of me grinning and then he suddenly grabbed my wrists and pulled me up in one quick go, having me stumbling on his chest. His arms went around me and his chin rested on my head.

“Oleg, were you scaring my man?” Oh boy, I blushed like crazy hearing those words and good thing my face was hidden. I knew he was joking, but uhm well, you know Dima.

“I believe it is not so easy to scare Jasper.” He answered and then he stood up and when I peeked I saw him talking to Mr. Denisov.

“That dude is sure scaring, but he’s the real badass and his efficiency is almost eerie.” My tigers said still hugging me. “So, that dofus of my brother is sleeping now and they arranged a bed and chair for my parents in his room, but I am afraid we’ll have to sleep in here. Sorry baby, you can go home if you want.”

I pulled back and took his face in my hands and planted my eyes on his.

“No Dima, I want to stay here with you and I don’t care if I am not going to sleep tonight.”

He grinned and then smirked. Oh boy, I knew that smirk.

“You know kitty, what you just said sounded pretty inviting and tempting, not sleeping the entire night, I might have few ideas on how to keep you awake..” He winked and I just blushed. Then I playfully pulled his earlobe and he just softly growled.

“Boy, you are such a terrible tiger..” I giggled.

“Hmm, I’m your naughty bad-boy and horny tiger, just for you.” He pulled me so close that I could feel his muscles flexing and then he slipped his hands on my butt and I slapped his neck, uhm well, I softly slapped it.

“Dima.” I said narrowing my eyes and he just grunted and nodded.

“I know, I know, we are here and Anatoly is in that room sleeping and not exactly looking good. I know, but man, you also know the effect you have on me and I missed you to lose my mind this week…we only kissed, because both were busy and the like, but I need to feel you and have you, Jas...I’m addicted to you.” His bright and smiling light-blue eyes stared intently at me and I just stared in adoration at his handsome face.

Oh boy, it was impossible to resist him. I locked my fingers in his hair and pulled his head down and whispered in his ear.

“Uhm well, then I promise to stay with you tomorrow afternoon and evening and …” I hesitated a moment and blushed, but then said it in almost one go. “And uhm, we will do whatever you want.” I heard him swallow down and then his hands grabbed me stronger.

“For real?”

“Yep.”

And yep, I just said that. Dima needed that and to be honest, I missed him too. Boy, missed him very, very much.

“I missed you too, tiger.” He growled in his throat and his nose ran my neck, feeling his lips on my skin. Then he pulled back and grinned.

“I love you Jasper and not just because tomorrow we can do whatever I want...so I can basically jump you in any way and you can drive me crazy as you prefer, because I love to be in your hands and…alright man, I meant to say, I love you Jas. I have no idea what I’d without you.”

I smiled and felt like melting for his words.

“Love you too Dima and it’s the same for me.”

We stared at each other for other few seconds and then we sat down on the bench and his parents came back with something to eat. Mrs. Denisov hugged me tightly and kissed me thanking me for what I did and also Mr. Denisov thanked me. He said he was sorry he hasn’t spoken to me yet, but he was worried and I just told him I totally understood him and that I was happy Anatoly was out of danger. He gave me a really warm smile and I knew what he was thinking about, but we both said nothing. Then they went to the other room and it was just me and Dima, since Oleg had to momentary leave to take care of few things. Dima stretched on the bench and rested his head on my laps and I began to stroke his hair.

“Uhm, what do you think of what happened with Anatoly?” It came easier now to say his name.

“I don’t know man, it’s just such an overload of information that my brain is about to blast and he said he has more to tell us. I’m going to lose all of my neurons.” I giggled at his funny expression, but I knew he was happy.

“You are happy he left the gang, right?” He took a deep breath and nodded at my question.

“Yeah, I truly am. It was about damn time that he sorted his crap out. You know what he said before, in the ambulance?” I shook my head. “He said he was sorry, for everything. He said that to me and to dad and he admitted you were right, that he misses me and everyone. Well, he also admitted to be gay, can you freaking believe it?” I blinked few times. I think I heard him before talking to Alex, but I wasn’t sure I got it well. “Yeah, he’s gay and said you have cute eyes. The hell? I told him to back off because you are mine and only mine.” He snorted and I just chuckled, because he was just terribly adorable and sweet.

“Baby, you perfectly know that I love you, and that for me there is only you.” I told him. Dima stretched one arm and with his hand he cupped the side of my face.

“I know, but I’m still jealous.” We both smiled like two silly love-struck dofus. “But man, it’s great he finally admitted that. I couldn’t believe my own ears..he missed me and missed our family and our friends. I just wonder what he has to say more than that.”

“Uhm, probably he wants to explain why he changed so much. I don’t think it has to do with him being gay.”

“Yeah, you’re right monkey. He said that to dad.” He then started laughing. “It’s just priceless. Mum and dad are not going to have grandchild.” I giggled and shook my head. “Oh no, wait. We can adopt, right?” I widened my eyes and just looked at him. “Yeah, we can adopt. Hey, how many kids would you like to have? Oh man, I’d like two kids at least and then a dog and maybe a cat. What about you? ‘Cause I mean, we are going to spend our life together, right?”

I didn’t know what to say.

Oh boy, did he just realize what he said or not?

“Dima…”

“Hey baby, I’m serious. I want to spend my entire life with you.” Oh boy, he really was serious and the way his eyes intensively looked at mine said it all. “So, what do you say?”

I smiled and bent down to peck his lips. I just couldn’t believe at what he told me. Dima wanted to really spend his life with me and for me it was the same; I couldn’t see myself without him, as it was impossible.

“Uhm, I’d like a cat and uhm, yep, two kids I guess is fine.” I think my face was probably bright red and my heart was thundering so fast and loudly that I’m sure he could hear it. He grinned and pulled my head down to kiss me.

“Jasper, do you realize that since you came into my life things have changed in better for me? Do you realize that because of you Anatoly is finally getting back to his senses?” I shook my head and smiled.

“Dima, it’s not because of me. I think he was already there and I think that man, Oleg, had more to do with that than me. I simply provoked him that morning, that’s all.” I explained, but he made a comical expression and snorted.

“Yeah, Oleg sure has a huge part in this and that’s right, dad said so too. But I think that your provocation gave the final and necessary push and don’t shake your head, because I know I’m right man, ok?” I just gave him a smile and winked. “Well, anyway, my point is that since I got to meet you everything became amazing.”

“Boy Dima…” I bit my lip because you have no idea what his words moved in me. I loved him so much! “Everything is amazing for me too, since I am with you.”

We kept quiet simply gazing at each other and smiling and then he asked me something that I knew he had in mind for a while.

“Hey Jas, will you be able one day to normally face that idiot of my brother? Do you think I’ll be able to forgive him completely and re-start everything from the beginning?” He was now more serious and I let my fingers run in his hair. He closed a moment his eyes and visibly relaxed and then re-opened them.

“I don’t know, it’s too soon to say it now, but I am sure you two will be once again brothers and friends like before. And uhm well, it might take time, but well, I think we all be able to think of him as a friend, sooner or later. He already did a lot today and uhm, he also risked a lot. I think this is very positive and uhm, even Alex was worried for him, so..” Dima nodded and laced his fingers with mine.

“You’re right kitty; sooner or later everything will be fine.”

ANATOLY POV :  -THE FOLLOWING DAY-

I was still drowsy and sort of sleepy from the painkillers and the other crap they injected in me, but it made me sleep and that was good. However, my body was now freaking hurting everywhere and it was almost worse than yesterday; the doctor said it was normal and that I shouldn’t worry about that, since my body was simply sore from that damn beating.

Damn it, I sure didn’t expect them to go so hard on me, as I had tried already to talk to our leader a week ago and it seemed rather fine; but I had been a moron. He was just preparing everything for me and well, yesterday morning they took their fun in beating the crap out of me, but they sure got something back and my aching knuckles and knees were proof of it. Bastards, they even tried to tie me, but it didn’t work, so got seven of them on me at once and the boss simply sat on his bike with his b!tch and observed everything with an amused expression and when they were done with me, he came over and gave me the final blow stubbing me in the arm. He said with this I’ll never forget about them and then he said “see you soon” and sh!t, I knew that it wasn’t over. I just didn’t want to get my family involved, but about that Oleg this morning told me to rest assured and, as crazy as it might sound, I trusted him.

So far he had never lied to me and even when I was trying to fight against him and arguing, well, what he said was right.

Now I finally was resting in my bedroom and mum pampered me so much that had me groaning in frustration. I was about to turn nineteen, so I wasn’t a kid, but she told me to shut up and let her take care of her baby. Right, we’ll see what they’re going to say when I’ll spill out the beans. I asked them to come back in a while because I needed time to collect my ideas and to be honest, I was deadly afraid and for a moment the idea of backing off seemed very inviting, but then I mentally cursed my being a disgusting coward and imposed myself to talk. They had to know everything, because what Sasha told me this morning was right. I had to face them honestly and only then I could hope to re-start things once again. I was surprised to see also River and Derek and that other black-haired guy, Hayden. River was as sharp and charming as ever and said I did well in leaving the gang and that now it was all about letting people adjust to this new situation.

God, I missed him too. Since I kicked them out of my life I have never had a real friend.

Someone knocked at the door and it was Oleg. I shifted in my bed rather uneasy, because I knew he was deadly mad at me.

“How do you feel now, Anatoly?” He was again wearing a suit and I rolled my eyes. It was Sunday today.

“Aren’t you tired of wearing suits every single day? It’s Sunday today dude.” Oleg of course said nothing and did not react to my provocations, so I exhaled and simply gave up. “I feel like crap to be honest and I’m deadly afraid thinking about what my parents and brother we’ll have to say once I tell them everything. They’ll kick me out and throw holy water on me and so I’ll be on the street and then I’ll bug you and be at your door, but damn, you live here.”

He just casted me a rather hard glare and then sat on the bed. For some weird reason when he was close to me I felt strange and I knew that being gay of course made him a damn hot target for me, but c’mon, we are talking about Oleg. He’s a scaring and intimidating bastard that is made of rock and ice. And he is older than me. But couldn’t deny how hot his body looked and felt, since when we rode the bike I had to literally glue myself at him because this bastard here was a badass on his baby.

“I see you still are an immature child.”

“Hey, I’m not a child.” That somehow pissed me off like hell. “I’ll turn nineteen next month, so I’m not a brat or a kid, got it?” He said nothing, simply stared at me, thinking about something, but hell if I knew what.

“Do you need anything?”

“No.” He stood up and went to leave, but I stopped him. “Wait a moment.” He stopped and turned back.

“Yes?”

I gulped down. I wanted to tell him many things, but it wasn’t easy to face him and to maintain his hard and severe stare. I gulped more and cursed at me again for being such a pathetic little coward. Disgusting.

“You were right, about everything and I am sorry for the way I behaved before, with you and with everyone. You were right. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything, but had to do it alone.”

Oleg stared at me in complete silence and then took two steps stopping right beside my bed. He searched for something in his blazer’ pocket and handed it to me. It was a receipt of a body shop for bikes. Then I remembered my bike. Those bastards sort of destroyed it.

“I found your bike yesterday and took it to the shop, a friend works there. It will be back as before in two weeks and once your arm will be healed, we will try another circuit.”

“Thank you.” I was speechless and I didn’t even bother asking how he damn found my bike.

“But Anatoly,” I looked at him and swallowed down. His eyes were now completely dark and menacing. “I do realize you wanted to do this alone and I respect it, but you should have told me. You risked too much and you knew my duty was to look after you.”

I said nothing, because for some reasons his words pissed me off. With him it was all about duties. He gave me another hard stare and then left the room and after a while dad, mum, Dima and Jasper knocked at the door and then also that impassive bastard joined them and now it was really all of nothing.

The annoying chipmunk looked at me and he seemed nervous and then said something to Dima and went to leave the room.

“No, wait. I want you to listen to this, too, since it’s only fair for you to know. Also, sorry for what I did to you.” They all looked at me and I swallowed down the suffocating fear. The midget there simply nodded and my brother stared at me as if looking at a lunatic on crack. They were going to hate me, they were going to say I was a monster and disgusting, an abomination, and they were going to kick me out. No matter what Oleg said.

“I have something to tell and it’s about the reason I changed so much in these past five years.”

Mum was worried and dad had his arm around her shoulders; he looked calm and composed as usual, but his eyes kept studying me. My brother ruffled his hair and then burst out.

“Just spill it, dofus, because I am about to freak out here.” He groaned and the chipmunk giggled, but slapped his neck. “Ouch, sorry baby, but it’s true. This tension is killing me.”

“Fine, before your brain goes to waste.” I snorted and he rolled his eyes. “It’s not easy and I know you are all going to think I am disgusting and everything, but please, just let me talk first.”

“Tolya, what are you talking about? You are our son, how can we think of you as disgusting?”

“Mum, first hear my story, and then we’ll see about it.” She sighed and shook her head, but she let me continue. I took a deep breath and here it was.

The moment of truth.

All or nothing.

“Around six years ago I began to realize I liked guys and not girls and that was the reason I sucked at striking conversations with them, Dima.” My twin nodded. He already knew that. He didn’t know how I found that out. “It was shocking and it scared me, because I had no idea how was that possible and I was afraid of saying anything, because the problem wasn’t the fact I was gay, but how I realized that. It literally had me panicking and I felt sick.”

They looked at me and in that moment Jasper opened his mouth, but said nothing. Damn it. He understood it. I should really give the midget more credit. He closed his mouth and simply looked at me.

“Did you have a crush on Sasha?” Dima asked me, as usual not understanding anything at first. Jasper said nothing, but simply eyed him as to say to keep quiet. “Sorry, go on.”

“No, I didn’t have a crush on the mighty Sasha or on River or on that clown of Derek or on any other guy in school.” I swallowed down and felt my body trembling and my heart and blood rushing and thundering at insane speed. It was about to drive me crazy. My mouth was suddenly dry and the fear completely numbed the pain in my body. “It was not just a crush. I really liked this person and the idea scared me to death because it wasn’t normal and because it just meant I was wrong, sick and disgusting, but there was nothing to do about that. I tried to conceal it and to tell myself it was nothing and that it wasn’t real, but the more I tried to repress it, the more it became stronger and at the end it took over me and that’s why I began to push you away, Dima. I was deadly afraid you would find out.” Mum covered her mouth and dad stiffened on the spot. They had understood too. I was f*cked. I knew it. Well, they all understood aside my brother, of course. “Dima, the person I liked and loved was you, my own twin brother.”

He didn’t realize immediately what I said, because he just looked at me as if he hadn’t heard a word, but then he blinked few times and his mouth gaped and that mean he had finally understood what I had just said.

“Err…the hell? Are you out of your mind Tolya? That’s not funny.”

“Dima I am not joking.” Mum stood up and I knew she was going to leave the room or scream or do something or don’t know. She walked to the bed and looked at me and I closed my eyes. It was the end, I freaking knew it. The bed shifted and I felt arms going around me. When I opened my eyes I saw mum hugging me and felt her tears wetting my neck. I froze right there.

“Tolya, why you never told us anything? Why? You kept something like that for yourself and you thought you were sick…you were only a child. Why you did this to us? We would never hate you for something like this.”

“Mum, it was disgusting and wrong...”

“It sure was strange to love your brother, I admit that. It sure was not normal and common, but it can happen and you were just a kid.” She kept sobbing and my dad stood up and paced a moment in the room. Oleg kept calm and impassive as usual and when I looked at Dima he was going under some shock. Jasper took his hand and my brother snapped out of it and looked at me.

“You still…” He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence and could I blame him? I was shocked he didn’t yell at me how revolting I was. He was still looking at me.

“No, I don’t think so.  I just want my brother back.”

“Yeah well, I want my brother back too, but maybe not much hugging for a while...I mean, man..it’s sort of gross to like someone that looks exactly like you. Alright we don’t look the same, as I sure don’t have that idiotic hair-cut, but you got my point. It’s gross.” I almost chocked on my own spit and he nervously scratched his hair. “I mean, man, I need time to process everything, this sure is big, but well...oh man, I don’t know what to say. You must have been scared sh!tless, right?” I nodded and then Jasper looked at me.

“You find me revolting?” I asked him.

“Uhm, well…” He bit his lip. “I don’t want to say anything, I’m not your family and uhm well, you said you don’t feel anymore the same right? Because well, sorry to say it, but Dima is mine.” I widened my eyes and so did my brother. “I think you went through a really bad and difficult moment and instead of trying to talk to someone, you pushed everyone away and then tried to punish yourself for something you couldn’t control. It was wrong of you to join a gang, that was something wrong and something you could control.”

Mum pulled back and smiled at him.

“He’s right Tolya.”

Dad stopped in front of me and I had no idea what to say. He then slapped me quite hard and they all gasped, but I almost felt nothing. I knew he damn had every right to do so.

“Zhenya love, what are you doing?” Mum yelped.

“You put us through hell for years and thought we would hate you without even talking to us? You wasted years of your life becoming a delinquent, beating people, stealing, taking drugs and only God knows what else you did, risking your own life, because you were scared and you thought we would hate you? Do you have any idea what your mother went through these past years? She thought she failed as mother and I thought I failed as father. Anatoly Yevgenich Denisov, you are our son and we are family, do you understand it?” His voice was now thundering in the room and I froze on the spot.

I never saw my dad so angry and he actually never hit us. Never. This was the first time in almost nineteen years. He was shivering for how mad he was and I understood in that moment what a complete idiot I had been. I should have talked to them and not to that person. Dad wasn’t only angry, he was hurt and I think he was letting out everything I put him through with my past behavior. I had been a huge idiot.

“I am so sorry dad..” I looked down and felt a lump in my throat, but I swallowed it down. I was a guy, not a crybaby. “I’m sorry, I was so scared and it wasn’t normal, I felt different and wrong, and then I talked to him and he said I was a living sin and that I deserved only to rot in hell and that..”

“Who was this person?” I looked up and saw Oleg right in front of me and beside dad. My parents stared at him and so did my brother and Jasper. “Who dared to say such?”

“I went to talk to a teacher in school, because he seemed a friendly and open person and because he saw something was troubling me and so one afternoon I went to his office and began to explain and I was so scared, but I thought he would understand and help, but he looked at me as if I were a monster and began to say I was an abomination and that I was rotten inside and that God would make me burn in hell and that I was shaming my family for this, so I should pay for this and…” I felt nauseous thinking about what came after. I was such a brat at that time. Now I would react differently. Now I would have beaten the crap out of that person.

“And then what?” Dad asked this time, while mum squeezed my not injured arm. She was trembling.

I shook my head and swallowed down.

“Tolya, what the hell that piece of sh!t said?” Dima asked me, looking angry. I peeked at Jasper and he had paled down.

“Anatoly, and then what?” Oleg demanded and I gulped again.

“He said I should pay and that since I was an abomination, I should be used as such, because I wasn’t normal, and that I had no right to live a normal life and so he stood up and undid his belt and went to lock the door, but I freaked out because I understood and so I ran to the door and he stopped me there and I screamed when felt his hands on me, but he covered my mouth, but I was so damn scared that I managed to hit him and I ran away and nothing happened, then…I was so scared and I really thought he was right, and I felt dirty and sick and I could only think of staying away from all of you.”

I lowered my eyes because I felt like crap and couldn’t bring myself to face them with such pathetic expression. It was about to kill me to say all of this sh!t and I had no idea how they would react. They all froze there and nobody uttered a word.

“I want his name.” Oleg broke the silence and when I shifted my glance at him I widened my eyes almost in fear. If I thought he was mad yesterday, I had no freaking idea how to describe him now. I shook my head.

“I don’t remember his name.”

“Anatoly, give me his name.” He commanded.

Dad glanced at me with a very hard and tensed expression and then placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Oleg.” He said with calm voice. Oleg looked at him and nodded.

“Sir, I apologize. I stepped over the limit.” He simply said, but mum shot up and she was furious.

“No, he’s right. I want his name too. How he dared to call my son in such ways? My baby isn’t a monster and he tried to molest him.” Dad took her in his arms, because she was shivering with such anger and crying at the same time. “I want his name, Zhenya.”

“Shh, calm down. We will solve everything, I promise it, love. Nothing happened to our son, at least anything of physical.” He looked at me and his eyes were set belligerent; I knew that expression. He wasn’t mad at me, but he was trying to stay calm just for mum and he was calculating something.

“Yeah, who the hell was that bastard?” Dima sprang up too. He was livid and I couldn’t even believe it. “Who the hell was that sick piece of crap? If you can’t remember his name at least tell me what the hell he taught.” I looked at him first shocked and then I sort of chuckled and he rolled his eyes in a rather funny way and snorted. “What’s so funny?” He groaned frustrated.

“Actually, you are funny.” He looked at me as if staring at someone overly stupid. “Dima you suck big hell time at remembering names, let alone something concerning school.”

Jasper broke that pale face he had and sort of giggled and took my brother’s hand.

“Uhm, he’s right.”

“See, even your precious chipmunk says so.” Dima grunted at that.

“You are such a moronic dofus.”

“And you are a dense retard.” I talked back and he messed his hair up.

“I’m not retard, only a bit dense.”

“Only a bit?”

“This is enough.” Dad spoke and we both shut up. Mum seemed calmer and she sat back with me, hugging me and brushing my hair and I was so exhausted that I didn’t even protest at that.“I want to understand better this entire situation and Tolya, why you never told us such thing? How could you keep all of this for yourself? You are our son, we are family and of course we love you. I am sorry I hit you, but I believe you needed it to completely open your eyes, correct?” I nodded. “And son, I am sorry you had to go through all of that alone. If you told us, I would have hunted that man down and made him pay with interest. This is not over, anyway.” I just nodded, but I knew there wasn’t much to do about that. I seriously didn’t remember his name.

“People can be so cruel.” Jasper whispered and we exchanged a quick glance. “Sorry to hear that.”

“I think we all need to calm down.” Mum was now completely composed and she had that determined look in her eyes that I knew too well. “Tolya, we all love you and we missed you and we are happy you finally decided to tell us everything. Now please, don’t you ever do that again; if you have anything, come to me and to your father. Talk to your brother.” She paused and looked at Oleg. “I’m sure you can count also on Oleg.”

“That is correct.” He just said.

“Now, we all need to eat something and Tolya do you think you can join us or should I bring you lunch here?”

I had no idea what to say. Did they really just say they loved me even though I confessed such things? Weren’t they disgusted by me? Mum smiled at me and hugged me again and also dad sat down and gave me a quick hug. He wasn’t exactly the very touchy-feely person. Dima looked at me and chuckled.

“Err, not so sure I want to hug you…would that give you a boner?” Dad shot at him a dark glare and Jasper gasped, but I just rolled my eyes. He was a priceless idiot. My brother and as well my best friend.

“I can’t believe I actually liked a dense and moronic retard like you.” He grinned and laughed and after a moment, I followed him. I couldn’t remember last time we laughed together like this. “I definitely cannot believe it, but rest assured, you sure will not give me a boner anymore and anyway, the chipmunk there would probably kick my ass. Well, if he first gets to reach it with his short legs.”

“Oh boy, I’m not a chipmunk and I’m not that short.” He exhaled frustrated and crossed his arms in front of his chest and my brother wrapped his arms around his waist.

I looked at them and realized I no longer felt that crawling feeling of jealousy and resentment.

I looked at them and just saw that idiot of my twin brother being a dofus with that blushing midget of his boyfriend.

DMITRI POV

To say I was shocked was the dumbest and most obvious understatement of the freaking year and my brain had long gone and short-circuited and melted. RIP. Now I was resting on my bed trying to think about everything, but I seriously couldn’t do it; my parents were still a bit shaken with everything and it was actually amazing at how they reacted to such news. I sort of understood my brother, if I were in his shoes I’d have been scared sh!tless like him, no kidding man. The idea was sort of gross, because man, he was my twin brother and so well, it would take some time to digest it. I mean, it’s not something you hear every day, right? Exactly buddy, you don’t hear it every day and well, I needed time.

I was anyway happy Tolya seemed to be back to his usual self, but I could tell he needed time too. He was nervous and still sort of freaked and Jasper said he had never imagined anything of the sort. My kitty. He had been amazing and now he was here with me, simply stretched long beside me and cuddling.

Oh crap. To think we could be doing all sort of things I wanted. Man, I couldn’t believe I had to waste such a chance, but my house was rather busy at the moment and to be fair, I wasn’t in the mood and I think it was the same for Jas.

“Hey monkey, so sorry we are going to waste what you promised me yesterday, I feel a jerk.” I mumbled looking at his sweet chocolate eyes while my hand was softly rubbing his back. He smiled and shook his head.

“Uhm well, I don’t think it’d be the best moment right now.”

“Yeah, know what you mean. I feel the same.”

My kitty slipped closer and felt his body completely on mine. Man, alright, I might not be in the perfect mood, but crap, feeling him so close and so inviting…oh man, I was hopeless. He pushed me on my back and sat on me, then leaned down and rested long on my body. I loved to feel him so close. His eyes smiled at mine and his fingers tenderly caressed my face.

“But uhm, we are not exactly wasting it; we are just not using it now. It’s still valid for another day.” In saying so he blushed, but he then giggled and gave a light kiss to my lips. “Any other day you want.”

Oh man. I had no words.

“Jas, I am so going to jump you that day and drive you crazy I don’t care if right now I sound like a horny dog. You actually got me hard.” He giggled and he began to tickle me and I chuckled and tickled back and he started to twist around because he was super ticklish and so we rolled on my bed until we fell down like two morons. We both burst out laughing and then I stopped and pulled him on my laps, taking his face in my hands. “Thank you Jasper, you know, I was sort of freaking out before, but you actually made me feel better and relax.”

“Oh boy, to be honest I was sort of freaking out too before, uhm well, I mean, it’s not something so easy to elaborate and digest, but uhm well…things have changed and so..”

“I know what you mean and I think it’s the same for Anatoly. He needs time too to digest everything. But hey, I loved when you said I was yours, that’s really hot baby.”

He made a playful shocked expression and then giggled.

“Boy, it’d be weird to be jealous of your twin brother.”

“I know monkey, tell me about that.”

“But I think he really sees you only as a brother now, at least, that’s what I think and feel.” I thought a moment about what he said and I nodded.

“Yeah, I think you’re right Jas.”

“Uhm, I also think he has a soft spot for someone else, but maybe I’m just seeing things.” I crooked my brows not understanding and he smiled and shook his head. “Yep, maybe I am just imagining things.”

“Err, are you going to share it with me or should I use my Jedi powers?”

“Jedi cannot read minds.” He teased and I poked his sides. “Stop it, no more tickling.”

“Oh really?” I just said and then wiggled my brows.

“Dima...bad tiger…” I smirked and pounced him.

We sure were a cheesy and love-struck moronic couple. But man, I loved it.

Author's chit-chat:

So what do you think? Expecting any of this or not? Before you start yelling at Mr. Denisov, try to be in his shoes and understand how as father he must have felt during those years.. He loves his son.

Liked the POVs? Any favorite one? Told you it was long, right? Hope it didn't bore you...sorry about that.

Ok, quick note. There will be NO more of Anatoly or Oleg, because as I already said, this is Jasper and Dima' story and those two will have their own story. Thank you for understanding!

Next chapter, we'll have Jasper thinking about something for Dima and what might that be?? Who knows... Updating soon!

Until next time xox