38. Unspoken feelings

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Author's POV

Today, Ishika and Sahil were on their way back to their mansion. Mr. Raj had given her some medicines. Both were seated in the back seat as the car drove back to the city.

Once they arrived, Sahil headed to the company, while Ishika returned to the mansion. The house had been quiet and empty since the night of her panic attack.

After reaching the mansion, Ishika tidied up their bedroom and her sleeping couch. Then, she decided to visit Aditi, as it had been days since they last met.

When Ishika arrived at Aditi's apartment, Aditi opened the door and immediately pulled her into a warm hug. After a moment, Aditi stepped back, smiled, and led her into the living room. As they sat down, Aditi studied her friend carefully, her expression shifting to one of surprise.

"You look different, Ishi," Aditi remarked.

Ishika smiled faintly. "A lot has happened in the last few days," she said, before recounting everything, including her time with Sahil and his efforts to make amends.

When she finished, Aditi leaned back, arms crossed. "That explains it. No wonder he sorted out your leave at school."

Ishika shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

Aditi tilted her head, curiosity gleaming in her eyes. "So... is he pursuing you?"

"What? No!" Ishika said, her response was immediate and defensive.

Aditi smirked. "Relax, I was just asking. But seriously, has Sahil ever been in love?"

"I have no idea. And honestly, it doesn't matter," Ishika replied, brushing the question off.

Aditi leaned forward, her voice soft but insistent. "It's not too late, you know."

"I'm not interested in him, Aditi," Ishika said firmly.

"But he seems interested in you," Aditi countered, her tone playful but probing.

Ishika sighed, exasperated. "No, he's just trying to apologize. That's all."

Aditi raised an eyebrow, her expression skeptical. "Ishi, why would a man like him go out of his way to apologize if there wasn't more to it?"

Ishika hesitated, her confidence wavering. "You're reading too much into it," she muttered, looking away.

"I don't think so," Aditi said, her voice thoughtful. "If I'm being honest, you two seem closer now than you were when you were married."

Ishika shook her head, a faint laugh escaping her lips. "That's impossible. We used to fight all the time. Parting on good terms was a miracle in itself. Being civil now is just... progress."

Aditi smiled knowingly, her gaze unwavering. "Maybe. Or maybe it's something more."

"Even if it is," Ishika replied firmly, "I'm never getting back together with him."

***

Around 8 o'clock,

Ishika was sitting on the couch, engrossed in a novel, when she heard the faint sound of an engine shutting off outside. A few minutes later, Sahil entered the room.

She didn't look up, pretending to remain focused on her book. Sahil glanced at her briefly before heading to the bathroom. When he returned, he furrowed his brows, noticing she hadn't even acknowledged his presence.

"Have you had dinner?" he asked, breaking the silence.

Ishika looked up at him and replied, "No."

He nodded. "Let's have dinner."

She hesitated for a moment, then said, "Okay."

They sat across from each other at the dining table, eating in silence. Sahil occasionally glanced at her, his expression unreadable. Finally, to break the quiet, he asked, "How are you feeling now?"

Ishika was taken aback. Sahil had never been the type to initiate conversation during meals. His sudden effort to engage felt unusual, even out of character.

"I'm better now," she replied cautiously.

He nodded, and silence fell between them again. After a moment, Ishika spoke up. "I'm planning to start going back to school from tomorrow."

Sahil looked at her, his expression neutral. "It's your call. If you feel ready, go ahead."

Ishika gave him a small smile. "Okay."

They finished the rest of their meal in quiet companionship, the unspoken words lingering in the air.

***

After dinner, Ishika was preparing her couch for the night when Sahil's voice suddenly broke the silence.

"Sleep on the bed," he said firmly.

She froze, turning to him with a puzzled look. "What?"

"From now on, you'll sleep on the bed," he repeated, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Ishika narrowed her eyes. "I'm not sleeping on the same bed as you. Back at Mr. Raj's house, I only did it because I had no choice. But here? No way."

Sahil held her gaze for a moment before speaking, his voice calm but resolute. "I know you don't want to sleep beside me. That's why I'll sleep on the sofa, and you'll take the bed."

"What?" Ishika blinked, utterly confused.

Without waiting for her response, Sahil stepped forward, gently took the pillow from her hands, and placed it on the sofa. Then he settled onto the sofa.

Ishika stood there, staring at him with wide eyes.

Noticing her stunned expression, Sahil smirked and teased, "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"

She immediately shot back, "No, I just... Why are you doing this?"

He looked at her with a softness that made her heart skip a beat. "Because you deserve to be comfortable," he said simply. "Good night, Ishika."

Still stunned, Ishika hesitated before climbing into the bed. The mattress felt softer than ever, but her mind was racing too much to focus.

After a long pause, she murmured,"Good night."

On the sofa, Sahil's lips curved into a quiet smile, as if her words were all he had been waiting for. The warmth of her voice lingered in the air, and with that, he finally closed his eyes, a rare sense of peace washing over him.

Ishika lay there, staring at the ceiling, her heart fluttering as she replayed his words. "Because you deserve to be comfortable." For the first time in a long while, she felt... seen.

***

Next Day,

Ishika returned from school, her bag slung over her shoulder. The moment she stepped into the living room, the butler approached her with an envelope in hand.

"Madam, this letter arrived for you this morning," he said politely.

Ishika looked puzzled but nodded, taking the letter. Without a word, she headed upstairs to freshen up. After changing into more comfortable clothes, she settled down on the sofa, the envelope still in her hand.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she tore it open. Inside was a handwritten note.

To Ishika,

It's me. I returned in a hurry and didn't have time to see you. Forgive me.

Beneath that line was a series of numbers, likely a phone number.

I'm almost done dealing with my family matters. I will come back to see you in two months. If there's an emergency, call this number. Also, I'm doing well, so don't worry about me. Take care of yourself, Ishika.

Signed,

Yuvraj Singh Chauhan

At the bottom of the letter, a sentence had been crossed out, rewritten, and then crossed out again. It seemed to reflect his inner turmoil.

Frowning, Ishika moved closer to the window, letting the sunlight illuminate the faint words. Squinting, she could finally make them out:

"Is he treating you well?"

Her heart clenched. She set the letter down, her thoughts a tangled mess. If Yuvraj was back, why wouldn't he see her? The only explanation was that he feared causing her trouble.

Ishika's heart pounded like a drum. She was both excited and worried. Yuvraj was like a more family than a friend. Knowing that he was safe was a significant relief.

She sank back into the sofa, memories flooding her mind. She thought about the times they had grown up together, the bond they had shared. After her parents had passed away, her uncle's cruelty had made her life unbearable. But Yuvraj had been her rock, her protector.

Now, after all this time, they were finally going to meet again. Her eyes filled with tears, but she quickly brushed them away.

A soft knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts. Composing herself, she sniffled, wiped her face, and went to open it.

The butler stood there, his expression neutral. "Madam, lunch is ready," he informed her.

She nodded, her voice steady. "I'm coming."

With one last glance at the letter, she placed it inside her bag and headed downstairs.

***

Ishika picked up her phone and called Aditi, eager to share the news about the letter she had received from Yuvraj.

"Aditi, guess what? I got a letter from Yuvraj," Ishika began, her voice a mix of emotions.

"Yuvraj? So, is he coming back?" Aditi asked, her excitement evident.

"It seems like it," Ishika replied, her tone soft but hopeful.

Aditi couldn't hide her enthusiasm. She vividly remembered the stories Ishika had shared when they first met in college. Back then, Ishika had surprised her by speaking fluent French, and she'd learned that Yuvraj had taught her when they were teenagers.

Smiling at the memory, Aditi suddenly asked, "By the way, did you send him money this month?"

"No," Ishika admitted. "He never used the money I sent him before, so I stopped sending him money a few months ago."

Aditi raised an eyebrow. "But didn't you use Sahil's card to send him money back then when you didn't have enough?"

Ishika felt a twinge of embarrassment. "I did, but I returned the money later."

"Did Sahil know?" Aditi asked, curious.

Ishika shook her head, even though Aditi couldn't see her. "No, he didn't. Back then, I was practically invisible to him. He hardly paid any attention to me when we were married."

Aditi hummed thoughtfully but decided not to press further. Instead, their conversation shifted to lighter topics, and they chatted for a while before finally hanging up.

***

At Malhotra Enterprises,

At Malhotra Enterprises, Sahil sat in his chair, his gaze fixed on the phone in his hand. The screen displayed old screenshots of bank transactions, each accompanied by notes. He scrolled through them slowly, his heart heavy with memories.

He had known about these transfers from the very beginning of their marriage. Every time she sent money to Yuvraj, it had felt like a dagger to his heart. Yet, here he was, reading through them again, willingly reopening old wounds.

"Are you doing well, Yuvraj?"

"Is this bank account no longer needed?"

"I hope you're not in any trouble."

The words weren't just casual remarks; they were filled with care and concern. They were words she had never spoken to him.

When he realized she still loved Yuvraj, his world had crumbled. He had buried his feelings, choosing to believe she would never reciprocate them. Instead of confronting his fears, he had let his bitterness fester.

Sahil leaned back in his chair, the weight of the past pressing down on him. He had spent years believing she had married him for his wealth and influence. He had convinced himself that every time she came to him, it was only because of her uncle's requests. Even their first time together had felt transactional to him-tainted by the weight of her uncle's request.

That night, when they were together, he'd seen another notification of a transfer to Yuvraj. He had snapped, his hurt and jealousy boiling over. He had said the cruelest words he could think of:

*Flashback begins*

She clenched her fists and asked him, "Don't you like me, Sahil?" She continued, "Tell me, have you ever found yourself loving me even once in these two years of our marriage?"

Sahil paused, the silence between them thick and suffocating, as if the very air had frozen with his hesitation. His gaze was sharp, almost icy, as he looked at her, devoid of the warmth she once yearned for.

Then, his voice cut through the tension like a blade, cold and unfeeling, "Don't make me laugh, Ishika. I married you because of the arrangement between our families. There is nothing between us, it's just an obligation for me."

*Flashback ends*

It had been a lie, born out of pain and pride. The truth was, he had fallen for her the moment he saw her. She was the only woman who had ever made him feel this way. He had gone to his grandmother, asking her to arrange their marriage, hoping that being with her would bring him happiness.

Having lost his mother in childhood, Sahil had never truly desired anything in life. Loss had taught him to suppress his wants, to live without expecting. But then, for the first time, he desired someone. He dared to dream of a future with her, only to realize she was never his to begin with. When she asked for a divorce, he didn't fight it. He didn't argue or plead. He was tired-tired of the constant bitterness, the hollow silences, the absence of care. Their marriage had become an empty shell, and he didn't have the strength to hold it together anymore.

Or maybe, deep down, he didn't believe she would actually go through with it. Every time he declined her uncle's requests, she would threaten divorce. And every single time, he would give in, not because he agreed but because the thought of losing her was unbearable. He couldn't imagine her walking out of his life, leaving him behind. Even if their marriage was broken, even if love had been replaced by resentment and distance, he still wanted her near. He still wanted to see her, to know she was there.

He clung to the faint, desperate hope that maybe, just maybe, things could change. That one day, the walls between them might crumble, and they could find their way back to each other. She was his only desire, his only weakness. Letting her go would mean giving up on the last thread of hope he had left.

But now, he felt an odd sense of relief. Thanks to Rajveer, the divorce wasn't real. The decree was fake, a lie he had allowed himself to believe in. Sahil knew it was wrong-deeply, unethically wrong-but he couldn't bring himself to make it official. He couldn't sever the last tie that kept her in his life. Even if it meant living a lie, he would hold onto it, because letting her go was a pain he wasn't ready to face.

Then, one day, he saw her-really saw her-for the first time. Her vulnerability, her brokenness, the pain that clung to her like a second skin. He saw the trauma in her eyes, the way she flinched at the smallest gesture, as if every touch, every word, was a reminder of the hell her uncle had put her through. He had tainted her life, twisted it into something unrecognizable. And all the while, Sahil had been blind to it, caught up in his own pain, his own confusion.

But then he realized the truth. He had been cruel to her too, in his own way. His indifference, his emotional distance, his reluctance to truly understand her-it had all pushed her further into that dark abyss. He hadn't known it then, but every time he pulled away, every time he failed to protect her, he had broken her just a little more. And now, standing there, seeing the weight of everything she had endured, he felt the full extent of his own guilt. He had been a part of her suffering, had unknowingly pushed her into the darkness that now consumed her.

His heart shattered as he realized how much he had failed her, how much more he had hurt her when all she needed was love, care, and someone to fight for her. He had been so focused on his own pain, he never saw the damage he was causing to the one person he had vowed to protect.

For months, the bank transfers had stopped. At first, he had thought it was because she had finally let go of Yuvraj. But now, he wasn't so sure. Yet, whether she had moved on or not no longer mattered to him. What mattered was his decision.

He would fight for her.

Even if Yuvraj still held a place in her heart, Sahil was ready to compete with her first love. He would do whatever it took to win her over, to make her see the depth of his feelings.

In the silence of those moments, Sahil had come to terms with his own failings. He had let jealousy and pride dictate his actions, clouding his judgment and driving a wedge between them. He had pushed her away when all she needed was understanding, patience, and love.

Now, he feared it might be too late. But that fear wouldn't stop him.

Sahil resolved to do everything in his power to make things right. He would tell her the truth about Shanaya, lay bare his feelings, and show her how much she meant to him. He would earn her forgiveness, no matter how long it took.

Because he loved her. And the thought of losing her was something he could no longer bear now.

________________________________

End of the chapter.

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