Total Abandon🌶️🌶️🌶️

‘December 18th, 2017’

‘Lumen’

Eve

“You’re dancing,” he growled into my ear. I spun around, putting my arms around his neck.

“It’s the Haze,” I said, gyrating against him.

I needed physical contact. I needed someone to join in, to dance with me, to feel these feelings.

“You feel it?”

I nodded, grinning. “So much.”

“I’ve never seen a smile like that on you before,” he said. “I like it.”

“Don’t get used to it,” I responded, and then I kissed him.

He pulled away. “I’m sorry I left you last night. I had no idea we’d be needed in Texas—”

“Shut up,” I ordered, pressing my lips against his. Because right now I wasn’t thinking about the past, and I wasn’t even thinking about the future. I was only thinking about the now.

And in the now, I wanted him.

We were kissing so intensely that he must’ve fallen over at some point, because the next thing I knew, I was on top of him and his back was on the ground.

I was moving my hips around and around, getting hotter every second. The friction was too much.

But it still wasn’t enough.

I reached down to pull his shirt off, and that was when he stopped me. Again.

“Wait, Eve, hold on a second,” he got out, wearing a scowl like he couldn’t believe what he was saying. “We’re outside the Pack House.”

“So? Werewolves know what sex looks like.”

“Our haze hasn’t hit. They won’t understand,” he said, lifting me off the ground and carrying me back inside.

My legs were wrapped tightly around him, and I could feel his hardness pressing into me.

“Since when does the big bad Alpha need anyone to understand?” I murmured into his ear.

“Don’t tempt me,” he warned, nearly running through the halls.

We needed to get to his room ~now~, but we were still on the main floor. There were a few minutes to have some fun, at least for me.

“Or what, Raphael? Will you take me in this hallway? Will you push me against the wall and pull my panties down and—”

Before I could finish the sentence, he stopped walking to grab my face with one hand and kiss me.

But it was a vicious kiss, not a gentle one.

No, this kiss served a purpose.

It reminded me that he was in control.

Well, that was what he hoped it did, anyway.

All I can tell you was that the sheer force of his lips on mine, the way he moved against me and decided the tempo, the rhythm— I liked it.

I liked being the one not calling the shots.

But if you ever asked me to repeat that, I wouldn’t. Not even if my life depended on it.

He let my face go and tore down the hallway again, running up stairs until we were outside his door.

He opened it as fast as he could, and then we were inside.

I didn’t wait for him to close the door behind him. I jumped down out of his arms, and then I tackled him onto the sofa. And then we were a mess of limbs, of urgency.

I was kissing him, kissing down his neck, scraping my teeth across his skin. He growled. And then he growled again, louder.

I looked up at him. His eyes were flashing— with lust, with mischief. With fire.

It had reached him.

He was hazed.

He growled again, and then it was his turn to jump onto me.

In under a second, he had flipped me onto my back and pulled my jeans off, and now he was working on my tank top.

It was tight, and he was getting frustrated with yanking it up and off, so he tore it open instead.

“I liked that shirt!” I scolded.

But he silenced me with his mouth, again pressing his lips into mine. “Mmm,” was all I could say in response.

I felt his fingers trail their way down my chest, down my stomach, to the edge of my panties. Then they were gliding over the lace, right over my sex.

I moaned. He wasn’t playing fair. He wasn’t giving me what I needed.

“~Now~,” I breathed, and he was in no state to argue.

He pulled my panties down and had his fingers back on me, and then in me, and ~oh God this feeling was too much.~

I felt my eyes roll back in my head. It was ecstasy. Who the hell needed drugs when you could just... ~ah!~ He was inside me.

Without warning, he’d entered me, and I felt consumed by hunger in a way I’d never been before.

It wasn’t enough that he was in me. I needed him faster. I needed him faster and more and from every angle, all at once.

I opened my eyes and looked at him, and it was like he understood, without my saying a word.

He twisted me around so I was chest down, grabbed my legs, and thrust into me from behind. I cried out. “~Fuck!~”

And oh, fuck he did.

For minutes, hours even.

The mating season had turned him into a machine. He was thrusting, rubbing, licking every part of me that needed attention, all at the same time.

And that first orgasm of the Season…~Jesus~.

I was no religious gal, but it had me seeing God.

The next seven days were pure sex-riddled bliss.

Raphael and I didn’t leave his bedroom, not for food, not for work, not even for the people we cared about.

We locked ourselves inside his four walls and only left the bed when we wanted to screw on the floor.

The Season turned us into animals. It had never hit either of us so strong, but then again, we’d never been together for a Season before.

Mates felt the Season with each other stronger than they could ever feel it with anyone else.

It was the seventh day, a Saturday, and I rolled over on the bed to look at Raphael. He opened his eyes, woken up from a nap by my gaze.

“What is it?” he asked dreamily.

“You know… this doesn’t change anything,” I said softly. “We still can’t be mates.”

“Eve…” he said, closing his eyes.

“I’m serious.”

The conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door.

We looked at each other. There hadn’t been a knock the whole time we’d been in here.

Raphael got up and, throwing a towel around his waist, opened the door.

“Zack?” he asked.

My eyes rolled. ~Of course Raphael’s Beta would be the one interrupting.~

“Hey, Raffe… sorry, man, I just… came to remind you that today’s the… er… Yule Ball?” I saw him squeeze a look into the room over Raphael’s shoulder.

I waved at him.

“Just wanted to know if you guys are… coming out… any time soon?”

I couldn’t help it. I snorted, my laughter pouring out.

His discomfort filled me with joy, and I wasn’t sure if it was still the Season talking or just my cruel sense of humor.

“Yeah, we’ll be out. Give me a few minutes.”

And then he closed the door and turned back to me, and I saw it loud and clear.

The fire that still hadn’t gone out, burning right through his eyes.

Anya

have u seen her?

Anya

in like idk the past WEEK?!!?

Reyna

Why do you care Anya

Anya

im just saying its weird!!!

Anya

and kinda gross

Anya

and she is supposed to be PROTECTING US

Reyna

I think shes done her fair share of protecting us

Reyna

Anyway its the mating season

Anya

ew i so do not want to think about her doing that

Reyna

Ok prude

Anya

im NOT a prude

Anya

ur the one who still hasnt even kissed jed

Reyna

Go to hell

Reyna

Seriously stop texting me

Anya

fine

Anya

what dress are u wearing tonight

Reyna

Since Anya and I had to share a bathroom in the Pack House, we were both squished up against the counter, trying to do our hair and makeup at the same time.

The Yule Ball was only an hour away, and usually, I wouldn’t really care what I looked like for it.

But tonight I cared.

Because tonight… I wanted to have my first kiss. With Jed.

And maybe my first… everything else, too.

Right before the Haze hit him, he told me he liked me. Like, like-liked me. And I totally like-liked him too.

For the first time in my life, a guy was actually giving me butterflies.

It was almost too hard to believe, and it made me miss my mom even more.

She would’ve known what advice to give me. She would’ve been beyond happy for me.

But instead, my options for advice were my annoying little sister or my clueless dad. Or Eve, who literally groaned the one time I’d tried to hug her.

“Can I have the curling wand?” Anya demanded, hands on her hips.

I passed her the steaming wand, rolling my eyes.

“You look good when you don’t wear heavy eyeliner,” she said to me, looking at my reflection in the mirror.

My eyes met hers in the glass, and I couldn’t believe she’d actually just said that.

I think that was the first compliment she’d ever given me.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“Hey… have you ever… kissed anyone?” I asked, and I saw Anya’s eyes grow wide.

“No. Why? Are you… with Jed…?”

“No! Well. Maybe. I don’t know...”

“OH MY GOD you so should! He’s so into you. I can tell.”

I regretted telling her immediately. I finished applying the coat of mascara and packed up my makeup, heading for the door.

“I don’t know. We’ll see,” I said, ending the conversation.

“Reyna!” she exclaimed, squealing. “You’re like… way cooler than I thought you were.”

I nodded. That was definitely more of an Anya compliment.

Eve

It had been more than a week and still no sign of Llinos. Which meant two things: that I was right to have given up on Deity’s help and I was going to have to take matters into my own hands.

How? I had no goddamn idea.

I thought going to the Yule Ball would distract me from running the same things through my mind again and again.

It was like my brain was a maze and I couldn’t find the way out.

The way to get Snow back was to kill Raphael, but I couldn’t kill Raphael.

So where did that leave me?

Ideas usually came to me when I wasn’t killing myself focusing on them, so the Ball would be a welcome distraction.

I’d drink wine, get ogled, and a plan would just—come to me. That was the only option.

When I was back in my room, I pulled the dress I’d ordered specially for the Yule Ball out of my closet.

I’d ordered it weeks ago when I first got to the Pack House. I hadn’t planned to, but I saw the dress online and fell in love.

I tore my current outfit off and, once naked, took the dress off the hanger and stepped into it.

I pulled it up and over my curves, closing the zipper and tightening the tie-waist. Then I looked in the mirror. And I almost couldn’t believe the reflection staring back at me.

It was an old-school gothic-style dress, something I would’ve worn when I was Lady Eve Knox at my manor in London.

My suitors would’ve dropped like flies if they’d seen me in it.

It was black with purple accents and had a bodice that pushed up my breasts and accentuated my small waist.

The train of the dress was billowy, and the fabric seemed to dance with every step I took.

I looked beautiful.

More than beautiful.

Plenty of other girls in Lumen were more than good-looking. The healers, especially. They were stunning, the kind of girls you’d see on runways.

But me, I was otherworldly. I never said this to sound arrogant. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. No, my looks had always gotten me into more trouble than good.

But it was the truth.

When it came to beauty, regardless of whether my hair was golden blonde or black as night, nobody else came close.

I twisted my scythe ring around my finger and then grabbed my purse from the hook, heading for the door.

My stomach rolled over, reminding me that I still hadn’t heard back from Killian.

But on Kimbringe’s advice, I ignored it.

I walked out into the hall, ready for the ball. Maybe this time my gut feeling would be wrong.

Maybe this time, I’d think of a way to get Snow back myself, and someone I cared about wouldn’t get hurt.