Chapter 40

Lisa's POV

"Lisa, can we talk?" Jennie said with an almost shaky voice.

The scenario that put me in despair flashed right in my mind. Those hurtful words that came from her, the words that gave me nightmares, echoed in my ear. I was at the verge of having a panic attack as I recall that hurtful memories when I felt her warm presence beside me.

I look at her, worry, pain and sadness are visible at my eyes which I'm pretty sure she notice because I saw how her breath hitched.

"What do you want?" I asked, trying my best to show that I'm strong.

Jennie didn't answer, she diverted her eyes away from me and stare at her fidgeting fingers. Silence filled the atmosphere for a few minutes until I decided to break the ice.

"If you're going to say some hurtful words to me again, please stop. I've already heard enough." I said.

"No!" Jennie's pitch went high which made the both of us surprised. She took a deep breathe first before started talking again.

"I won't say another shit words again." She said in a low and vulnerable voice. I felt my heart soften at the tone of her voice. She really is my weakness.

"Then what do you want to talk about?" I asked calmly.

"I just want to..." Jennie paused and faced me. I saw fear and regret mirrored in those cat-eyes of hers.

"I want to apologize for everything that I've done, for everything that I've said." She added which made me to widen my eyes on her.

"P-Pardon?"

"I know that my hate towards gays started when my mom left but I didn't know that hate of mine will be the key to hurt and lose the person who never left my side. Rosѐ was right. Not all gays are like my mom. And not all gays are just going to hurt me at the end. You never done something that will hurt me which is I didn't see before because I was blinded with my hatred and anger. I hurt the person who did nothing but to accept me for who I am." Jennie said. I was just looking at her, listening, I don't even know how to respond.

"I don't know if I'm late but I still wanted to apologize to you Lisa. You're my best friend, well, used to because I pushed you away which is the thing that I regret the most. If you hate me and can't accept my apology, I understand. I deserve it for being an ass anyway." She said and smile weakly.

Do I really can hate Jennie? Do I really can hate this lovely feline? I know what she said to me was like needles that pierced right into my heart but I somewhat understand the part that she has some battles inside her which she needs to fight alone every day.

I stare at her for a minute, I can sense sincerity at every words that she said.

"What happened to your homophobic ass?" I unconsciously said which made me shut my mouth quickly and looked away from her. I was ready for another savage answer from her but I heard her giggle instead.

"Let's just say I'm trying to get my homophobic ass out of the picture. It's not getting quite healthy for me, you know." She said. I chuckled a bit before getting quiet once again. My mind is a mess as of now, I can't think straight. What would happened to us if I accept her apology?

"I guess you need some time to think. I should leave." Jennie said and was about to walk away. But she stopped when she heard me calling her speak.

"I think I can accept your apology."

"Y-you do?"

"Yeah. No one is perfect. Everyone make mistakes, even me. Who am I to not accept that sincere apology of yours?" I said and let out a genuine smile but it quickly faltered when I heard her answer.

"So, are we, friends? Or best friends, again?" She asked.

"I'm always here for you every time you need someone but I don't think I can go back from what we are before. I mean, not now."

"W-why?"

I moved closer to her and held both of her arms while staring right deep into those eyes that I love the most.

"I need to forget my feelings for you Jen. For me, for us, to be able to go back from the way that we started." I said. Jennie locked her eyes on mine. Her eyes seems to tell something.

"O-Okay." She softly muttered and hung her head low. I let go of her arms and let out a deep breathe.

"Give me some time Jennie and I promise, I'll be back as your Lili. As your best friend Lili." I said before leaving the balcony.

I saw Rosѐ standing right beside the front of my room. I presume that she heard everything because I saw that usual worried look on her face. I smiled at her weakly.

"Hug?" She said and spread her arms wide.

I didn't think twice and I threw myself onto her. I hug her tightly and burrowed my face in her neck. I felt her hand tapping my back in a comfort way.

"Everything's going to be fine Lisa." She said in a calm, smooth voice.

--

Today is the third day of our robot-making thing. Even if just three days, I feel already exhausted. Jennie and Jisoo decided to stay at my house until we finish this. So, basically, I have two more borders. They we're occupying the guest room at the second floor which used to be Rosѐ's room.

"Remind me again why do you need to stay in my room?" I asked. We're currently on our way home from the convenience store. Our supplies we at the verge of disappearing since this chipmunk can't stop herself eating from time to time. I wonder how she maintain that figure of hers.

"Why? Do you want to sleep with Jennie instead?" Rosѐ said while smirking.

"Of course not!"

"No need to be defensive. I'm just asking." She said between her chuckles which made me roll my eyes playfully.

"Besides, you don't want Jennie to know about you having nightmares, right?" She added.

It's true. If Jennie would knew about me having nightmares that would definitely a disaster. She might blame herself from time to time which is what I don't want to happen. She's been through so many things, and I don't want to add up.

We're few meters away from my house when we heard Jennie screaming. Rosѐ and I looked at each other before rushing our way inside.

"What's happening?!" I asked, well, yelled apparently.

"Is there a fire?!" Rosѐ said and her eyes scanned the house. "Oh, there's no fire."

"Turn off the god damn TV Kim Jisoo!" Jennie yelled once again which earned our attention once again. I saw her hiding behind the couch.

"What? This movie is so good. You should watch this Jendeuk." Jisoo said while grinning. Rosѐ step up and looked at what they're watching.

"What movie-aaahh!!" Rosѐ screamed and quickly hide behind me. I was surprised when she suddenly grabbed me and use me as a shield. My eyes diverted towards the television and saw what they're scared of.

Jisoo was watching another horror movie and this two really hates that genre. I noticed that the movie that was playing was Insidious, one of my favorites.

"Turn off the fucking TV!" Jennie yelled again, still hiding behind the couch. I bit the inside of my cheeks so that I won't be able to burst out in laughter.

"Kim Jisoo!" Rosѐ yelled.

And as fast as the speed of light, Jisoo quickly took the remote and hit the off button. When Rosѐ heard that there were no more noises coming from the television, she move herself away from me and send deadly glares towards Jisoo. Jennie also popped up from the couch and do same thing. I saw Jisoo's throat move up and down as the two approach her.

"Lisa, help!" She said when her eyes darted to me.

"Nope. Good luck." I said and watched as they chase each other inside the living room.

Jisoo was fast despite of those short legs of her which is clearly opposite from Rosѐ. Her long legs are useless. She should donate those to someone who really needs it.

"If I catch you, you're a dead chic-" Jennie wasn't able to continue what she was saying because she suddenly trip.

She was about to lose her balance and fell right off the ground but my reflexes were fast enough to catch her. I held her waist for support, not minding how close our faces are. Jennie's eyes were shut tightly, she must be waiting for her butt to land off to the floor. But when she realized that she didn't fall, she slowly opened her eyes which made me froze in my spot.

I can feel her warmth breath. I saw how her pupils dilated and my eyes took its time to scan her features. My eyes we're glued at those lips which I once claimed. And what made me lose my sanity is when Jennie unconsciously bit it. Lucky, Jisoo and Rosѐ were here. I heard fake cough coming from them which made us to pull away from each other.

"I-I think w-we should get back to work." Jennie said.

"Y-yeah. I agree." I replied and went towards my workstation.

"We should before this whole thing turns into a hot making out session." Jisoo said which made Rosѐ to pinch her ear and drag her towards where her laptop is.

Jisoo and Jennie were the one who is assigned to make the program that we need for our robots since they are the one who has the most knowledge when it comes to it. While me, I was assigned to do the wirings. I have some basic knowledge about this since I always like to watch some electronics stuffs when I was a kid. While Rosѐ? Well, she's the one making our snacks. She told us that she doesn't know anything about this and she decided that she would be the one who would do the talking at the day of the science fair. Who knows, someone might bombarded us some questions.

We were so focused in finishing this project that we didn't notice that it was almost time for dinner. If Rosѐ didn't call us, maybe we're still having our attention locked on the things that we're assigned for.

Since we had a few more days before the science fair starts, and we're almost done doing the robot, we decided to call it a night and get some rest after we ate our dinner.

But then, I woke up at the middle of the night.

"Nightmares. Again." I muttered to myself.

I glanced beside me and saw that Rosѐ was soundly asleep. It's a good thing that I didn't woke up screaming tonight. I don't want to disturb her and make her worried. She has done so much for me.

I went downstairs to get a drink. My throat went dry from having that stupid dream. I drank the water straightly and rest my hands at the kitchen counter.

"When will this nightmare of mine will stop?" I asked to myself. I slowly getting sick of hearing those words every night.

My eyes flickered towards my work station. Since I'm not feeling sleepy again, I decided to go there and continue what I'm doing.

I saw some spare LEDs which gave me an idea to do the thing that I love doing when I was ten. I made a cube out of the spare LEDs. I opened Jisoo's laptop and started to type some codes. This cube would be boring without some touch of programming.

"What are you doing?"

I jumped out in fear when I heard Jennie spoke behind me.

"What the fuck? You scared the shit out of me." I said as I held my chest. I heard her sweet laugh and my eyes look at her with disbelief as she sat beside me.

"Why are you awake this hour?" She asked.

"I just can't sleep." I lied.

"So, mind telling me what you're doing? You seemed much focused to that. You didn't even notice that I was standing behind you for minutes."

"An LED cube."

"Wow. Where did you learn to do that?"

"From a YouTube video. Here, let me show you." I said and press the enter button to transfer the program to the cube.

I press the button and the LED lit up. I pressed it once again and the lights started dancing. I glanced at Jennie and saw how amaze she is. She must sense that I was staring at her so she quickly turned her face towards me and show her gummy smile. I felt my heart skipped a beat. It's been a while since I saw that gummy smile of hers.

Both of us were silent as we were watching the cube. Until I felt something heavy landed on my left shoulder. I slowly turned around and saw that Jennie has fall asleep. I can hear cute little snores coming from her which made my lips curled up.

I diverted my attention towards the cube and continue watching how the light dance. Suddenly, I heard Jennie sleep talk. And what she said made me stiffened.

"I miss you Lili."