Chapter 45

Xavier’s POV

It was so peaceful here... wherever here was.

I felt like I was floating in a lake of blackness surrounded by more blackness. It was the first time I had felt completely at peace with everything that was around me. I didn’t have the worry of Blaine leaving me, the grief of losing my family or the paranoia of when the next threat would hit our pack. I felt... free

I sighed as I breathed in a deep breath of air, but froze when the oxygen started to cause a tingling in my lungs and shoulder. It wasn’t a nice tingle, like the telling signs of a mate link, but more unpleasant as it continued to spread throughout my body. It was like a small voltage of electricity was being shocked through my system and the more time went on, the more powerful it became.

I flinched away from the feeling, craving the blissful nothingness of the black waters that had previously surrounded me, but the more I fought it the stronger it seemed to get. The fingers of electricity gripped onto my flesh and bones as I felt it tugging me in different directions, screaming in agony as I fort against it.

Just when I was about to blackout, not being able to stand the force of the currents, they suddenly ceased their movement. I could still feel them, rippling away under the surface of my skin, but they were no longer forcing me to go somewhere I didn’t want to be. I sighed and sagged in relief, glad that I was able to return to my peaceful nothingness, but when I lay back down to go back to sleep I frowned. The tugging may have stopped but for some reason the sense of calm I had previously had didn’t return.

I looked around at the nothingness that surrounded me and frowned as I felt a shift in me, I no longer felt safe here. Before the blackness was like a calming balm to my emotions, soothing me so that I felt nothing, now though it was like a horror movie. I had no idea where I was and no idea what was lurking in the darkness just over my shoulder.

I was craving the electricity pulls again, wanting them to pull me to safely so that I could feel calm again, but they did nothing, just sat under my skin as if waiting to be told what to do.

The outline of a body suddenly started to materialise in front of me and I froze, not knowing where to go or what to do. The body shimmered a light gold colour, forming the only source of light around us, but it did little to light up my surroundings.

Just when I was about to get up from my position on the floor, not knowing where to go but feeling like I needed to go somewhere, the figure sifted and before I could blink, I saw my mum standing in front of me.

She looked as beautiful as I remember, maybe more so, as she started down at me with the constant love and happiness I always saw there. Gone was the blood and tears that always plagued my brain whenever I thought about the last time I saw her and what replaced them was gold and sequins that were scattered all over her dress and skin as she almost glowed in the nonexistent light.

“Mum?” I whispered, unable to believe that she was here right now, in front of me.

She continued to stand there with her hands clasped in front of her, looking down at me as if assessing my every body part. She used to do this a lot when I was a kid, whenever I came home from school or if she’d knew I’d been in some form of scuffle, she’d run her eyes over me to make sure that I wasn’t damaged or in pain. I had always complained about it when I was younger, telling her that I was fine and she needed to stop treating me like a child. Now though I craved it, craved the normality of it and the wave of nostalgia that followed.

“Hi Xavier” she whispered as she held her arms out to me with a soft smile on her face.

I sat there for a second, not believing that she was actually in front of me, before scrambling to my feet and engulfing her in a hug.

The hug felt weird, I could feel her in my arms as her own looped around my shoulders, holding me close to her, but at the same time it was like I was hugging a ghost. She was there but at the same time, she wasn’t.

“I don’t... how are you...?” I stuttered but couldn’t finish my question. I was so happy to see her after so many years of missing her, but at the same time I knew what it meant.

“I-I’m never going to see them again am I?” I questioned as my heart ached for the loss of Blaine, the loss of my friends and the loss or my pack.

“That’s completely up to you Xavier, I’ve been brought here to help guide you through towards the Moon Goddesses garden, but your mate and family are working tirelessly to try and save you. It is up to you whether you allow their efforts be in vein or not” she explained as she held her hands in mine.

Just then I heard muffled voices coming from somewhere I couldn’t quite distinguish. They were quiet, to quiet for me to understand what they were saying, but it didn’t take me long to figure out it was Anna yelling something to someone.

I turned around, looking for the voice, but when I couldn’t find anything but the blackness I turned back towards my mum and took a step closer. “But you’re my family” I muttered as I took a few more steps towards her. With every step I took Ana’s voice got further and further away, until I could no longer hear it.

“They are your family too Xavier” she soothed “just because they aren’t blood related it doesn’t mean that they care and love you any less than we do” she whispers as she ran her thumb along my cheekbone.

It was then that I felt an invisible finger brush against my hand, it was the smallest of touches but it caused the electricity to reawaken within me and I was suddenly being forced backwards again, away from my mum and my family.

“MUM!” I screamed as I held my hand out for her to take, hoping she would reach out for me and help me stay, but she didn’t move.

“It’s your choice Xavier, say with us and I will bring you to the garden where your father and Louise are waiting, or go on and live your live with that beautiful mate of yours” she smiled.

“Help me decide!” I yelled, my hair and clothing having a mind of their own as if I were in a wind tunnel, the breeze pushing me backwards with every second.

“I can’t help you decide this Xavier” she whispered with a shake of her head, her quiet voice piercing through the rushing of the wind with ease. “Just know that your dad and I are incredibly proud of you and if you decide to live your life the way it should be then three of us will be here, watching over you and smiling down at you” she reassured.

Anna’s voice suddenly piped up again, screaming at someone to stay with her and to stay alive. At first I thought she was talking about me, pleading me to choose life and not enter the garden with my mum, but when I heard another voice scream Blaine’s name I turned. Blaine was in danger?

“You’re mate can’t hold this up much longer Xavier, make your decision or it won’t be you I’ll be leading to the garden” she smiled as she took a step closer to me, the wind causing the gap between us to grow.

“Mum” I almost sobbed as the voices became clearer.

“We will be right here and waiting for you when it is your time” she whispered as she reached out and again stroked her fingers down my cheek with a loving look in her eyes.

A tear escaped my eye as I looked into her own, her irises shining bright gold against her pale skin.

“I love you” I whispered with a sob as I held her hand against my cheek.

“We love you too” she replied with a smile just as I heard Anna scream that rogues had been spotted at the border.

The finger that had just brushed against my hand suddenly gripped onto mine tightly, linking our fingers together as the electricity increased to almost painful measures.

“Bye mum” I muttered as I watched her light slowly fade into the darkness and disappear.

The pressure on my hand slowly increased and before I could blink it was dragging me out of the darkness and towards a soft glow that I hadn’t noticed before. It was different from the light that was glowing around my mum, this one was a bright white colour instead of a soft glow and the more the hand dragged me towards it the more pain I was in.

My shoulder was on fire and my hand had deep gashes in it as the blood trickles down my fingers and dripped onto the floor beneath me. My skin started to look a sickly grey colour and the muscle definition I once had was slowly deteriorating with every passing second.

I tried to shake the hand off of me, not liking where it was bring me or what it was doing to me, but it was no use. I had made my decision to stay and live.

“We’re losing her!” A voice yelled from in the distance.

“Someone bring the crash cart in!” Another voice shouted as a sound almost like a squeaking wheel rang through my ears.

“Someone separate them” I recognised being Jax as I felt another hand brush against my skin. I scream in pain as blood continued to ooze from my hands but the pain lessened when I heard Anna yell at him to stop.

“Don’t break the connection, if you do that we could lose the both of them” she whispered. Her voice sounded pained and worn out, almost as if she was suffering through as much pain as I was.

“Annabelle if we don’t break the connection you and Xavier will be shocked and we could lose all three of you, including the baby... I won’t do that happen” Jax growled.

“Just wait two seconds” she pleaded, “we’ve got him but we just need to make sure-” Anna muttered but before she could finish a small whimper escaped her lips.

“Starting CPR” the origional voice yelled but I ignored it as I focused on Anna’s voice, needing something to grip onto to find my way back.

A few seconds later I felt a blinding pain spread throughout my body before falling onto a hard surface with a thump. I tried to breath but it felt like something was down my throat causing me to gag and splutter.

“Get that Intubator out of him!” A voice called before I felt the object being pulled up and out of my lungs so that I could breathe easier.

“Break the connection... get the crash cart in place... 1 2 3 CLEAR!”

There was so much noise around me and the room was almost to bright for me to see as I tried to prise my eyes open. I recognised the smell of the hospital and the fact that I was lying down but other then that I was confused and lost. Weren’t we just in the caves fighting Benjamin? How am I suddenly in a hospital bed and being shook awake.

“No responce... charging again... clear... we have a rhythm... get that other bed in here stat!”

“wha...?” I tried to mumble but instantly cringed at the scratching of my voice. I tried to lift my arm up, wanting to rub my eyes to try and help them refocus, but frowned when it was tugged back by something.

“Careful Xavier, you’re connected to a lot of leads right now so just stay still and we’ll sort you out when we can” a voice, Hannah, muttered close to my ear.

I just nodded as I tuned out the craziness that was going on around me, happy in the knowledge that I had made the right decision and I was back where I belonged. My mum was right, they may not be family by blood but they were still my family.

This update was soo hard to write, I’ve been writing it all day! 😂

A few of you said you weren’t a fan of me putting in Anna’s POV so I decided not to :) I hope you all enjoyed it <3