Between Desire and Denial: Chapter 27

Why did Melly’s house have ten hallways and a hundred rooms before I found the bathroom? And why did the bathroom have to look perfect?

Her house was decorated in soft neutral tones and beautiful arches in the doorways and gemstones that popped with just the right colors on the counter of the bathroom as I peed. Plus, she had a pool. And her life together.

She’d told everyone tonight she’d just landed another great client for her advertising business. And I could only admit in the quiet of this bathroom that I was utterly jealous of all of it. Of every single person I’d mingled with. I’d pasted on a smile and told everyone how amazing they were doing. Yet, I felt the burden of my own future crushing my soul. The thesis and the leatherbound book had me wondering where exactly I belonged.

I took a deep breath and straightened my outfit before flushing the toilet, washing my hands, and splashing some cool water on my cheeks. Stop moping, I told myself. I was here, I was working, and I was forging my own path of life. Just because the road was a bit rocky didn’t mean it was lesser than someone else’s.

And then I heard whispers outside the door. “Esme! How are you? I saw you by Knox.” She responded with something noncommittal and then the woman said, “Right. Right. He’ll come to his senses. He always does. Can’t say the same about his sister though. My God, right?”

“What about her?” Esme replied, her tone off.

“Well, Knox told me that their father isn’t happy about that relationship. So, I’m sure Dimitri and her won’t last. I mean, come on. How could it? The girl’s a mess.”

“Why would you say that?”

“She’s still getting her master’s. I also heard she slept with her professor. There’s no way Dimitri Hardy stays with that. I’m just hoping my girl Melly can sway him tonight. They would be the cutest couple.”

That’s when I chose to swing the door open and try my best to stand tall as I walked out and away from them. Esme called my name, but I didn’t want to hear what she had to say right then. I just wanted to get out of there.

I knew I wasn’t a ten in anyone’s book. I knew this whole grill out was going to feel like a damn high school reunion gone to shit, but I’d come and I’d been a part of it. I’d put on the best show I knew how and right then I realized it was still not good enough for me to be worthy to some. So, now, I wanted to leave. Yet, just as I turned the corner, I heard my name from Melly’s mouth.

“I did push her accidentally on purpose into the pool once. It was so long ago, though, and you know how teens are. I was a brat but turned out okay, right?” Her voice snaked out like a conniving purr, and I knew right then who she was talking to.

“Sure,” Dimitri said back to her. His tone was noncommittal, but I hated that he’d even agreed.

“So, please tell me it’s not that serious between you two. She just doesn’t really seem like your type.”

“She isn’t my normal type,” he responded, and my heart cracked a little.

“I didn’t think so.” Could Melly sound more excited? “She’s cute, but I see you with someone a bit more, I don’t know, comfortable in their own skin, right?”

“In the past, it’s what I went for. She’s definitely different.” Different didn’t feel like such a good thing when he said it like that.

“I think at some point in our lives, we would have made a great match, Dimitri. And to think of all the stuff we could have done around here.” Her laugh was so soft and muffled, like she was right against him. “Maybe we still could, hmm?”

I hated that I thought the worst as the silence stretched. I didn’t even really give myself more time to think about it as I cleared my throat and walked into the room. Melly gasped loudly and jerked away from him with a smile on her face as she wiped away her red lipstick, and I glanced at his shirt to see a smudge at his neck.

“I’m leaving,” I whispered because it was all I could get out. And then I stalked off toward the patio doors, beelining for my purse, pants, and cover-up as fast as I could.

I heard him call after me, but I didn’t want to talk to him. It wasn’t that he owed me anything; we weren’t really together. It was that he was doing that with her, a woman who was well aware that we were supposedly together, yet she was maliciously trying to hurt me again. And he was allowing it.

I stormed out, ready to go grab my belongings. I didn’t get far at all though. Dimitri sped up to me, his eyes filled with worry as he raked his hands through his hair. I couldn’t tell if that look was because he was guilty or because he didn’t want me mad or to make a scene.

I couldn’t be for sure of anything, not when my heart cracked with betrayal.

I was going to cry. My life was an absolute disaster. I was spinning off in so many directions that I couldn’t keep any of them straight. That girl outside the bathroom with Esme was right.

And just as the first tear fell, Dimitri walked right up to me and said, “I’m carrying you to the enchanted woods, Honeybee. Don’t fight me.”

Then he scooped me up like a child and walked right down the glowing pathway. I don’t know if anyone looked or saw us, and I didn’t care.

I needed a moment while I crumbled. After that, I would deal with the fact that the man who was saving me from complete embarrassment in this moment was the man I hated because he’d caused it.