Between Desire and Denial: Chapter 20

He slid his fingers out of me, and I spread my legs because I was more ready than ever for his cock. He was by far the biggest man I’d taken, and I wanted to feel him again, I wanted him to slide into me and fill me the way he had before. I craved him now, my pussy practically convulsed at feeling the emptiness his hand left.

Yet, he simply stared at me with those green eyes and placed his three fingers that had been in me into his mouth. He sucked them dry before saying, “Such a sweet pretty little pussy you have there, friend.”

His voice delivered even the filthiest of comments in such a smooth and erotic way, it didn’t register at first what he was saying. When it did though, my stomach flipped in revolt. Were we still just friends after that?

He squeezed my leg as if he was trying to be soothing as he continued. “I hope you make sure to hold those guys on that app to this standard. You deserve it.”

I felt my whole body flare with embarrassment. Was this a brush-off now? Was I someone he was simply having fun with? If so, then he could finish what he started. I expected him to lower his shorts and position himself over me, but he actually moved back to his side of the bed and laid his head down on his pillow by my feet.

“What are you doing?” I blurted out, shooting up from the blankets.

“Going to bed.”

“What? Why?” I frowned at him as he turned onto his side and stared at me. “Aren’t we going to … you know?”

“I know what?” I heard the mirth in his voice.

“Well, I just figured you’d want to do stuff for yourself after …” I couldn’t bring myself to say more, so I let the silence stretch between us until he spoke up.

“No. If we’re just friends, let’s call it a night. I have meetings in the morning.”

I wanted to scream at him. This wasn’t how this was supposed to end. He was supposed to bang me against his headboard and tell me I was the best he ever had. Then, we would go to sleep and deal with the consequences later.

I took a deep breath and tried not to care.

Maybe he had someone else in a different place that he did that with. My stomach truly rolled then, and it felt like food curdled inside it too. At least here I wasn’t being led to believe there was something more between us. “Right. Of course. I get it.”

“Get what?”

“Well, I know that you have women I’m sure you meet when you’re traveling.” Saying it out loud made total and complete sense, but my stomach twisted in knots. “You’ll leave again soon. So, actually, well, thanks for even doing that with me,” I grumbled in embarrassment.

“What did you just say?” he murmured low.

“Never mind.” I scooted further onto my side and hit the nightstand light. I just wanted this night to be over. “Also, you don’t have to sleep with your head down there.”

He rumbled out, “I think I might at this point.”

“I really and truly don’t care if you’re up here.” I sat up to fluff my pillow angrily before reaching over the side of the bed to grab my shorts. Once I’d slid them back on, I threw my body back down. “It’ll only be a few more nights till the mattress for the other room is here anyway.”

I turned away from him and tried not to think about it. This was for the best. I should be trying to text no-face Mr. Perfect and hopefully build a connection. But then I felt rustling behind me and the wind of his pillow whooshing past as he put it next to my head.

Then his body curled around mine, and his arm tightened on my waist before he yanked me close. “I just tasted your pussy again and you think I’m considering flying around the country to have another woman?”

“Well … I …” What was I supposed to say?

His hand smoothed the skin of my stomach as I felt him shift, then he was under my blankets where he could get close enough that I felt his length against my ass. “This is what I feel every morning. Your ass against my dick nestling closer and closer.”

“I know,” I admitted, wincing. “I drift over to your side when I’m sleeping. Like I said, the other bed will be here soon, and we can put a pillow between us in the meantime. I’m sorry—”

He chuckled as he lowered my shorts down my thighs from behind. Before I could say anything else, his bare cock was against my ass, and he murmured, “You think all I want is an apology even with my hard cock up against you?”

“I … I don’t know.” I hoped he’d want more.

“I try to hide how much I want you daily, Honeybee, and it’s pure torture. You’re the only person I think about when I’m in bed with you, the only person I’ve thought about for days, and the only person I’ll think about when I’m traveling.”

“Oh.” I breathed because now his length was moving up and down so close to my pussy, that I was wet all over again.

He gripped my hair and pushed me down to an angle so that my center was more accessible to him, and he pulled my hips up toward him. “Say it’ll be the same for you, Olive. Tell me you’ll think about me fucking you too.”

“I will. I am thinking it right now.”

“I want you to think about me sliding in and out of you all the time.” He put the tip of himself right at my entrance. “Not some damn guy from an app.”

“Dimitri,” I breathed. This wasn’t fair, and he knew it. “You’re supposed to want me to find someone on the app.”

“You don’t need to find anyone but me.” He slid into me then, his cock stretching me just like I remembered—almost to the point of pain but somehow with only pleasure. “I fit this pussy perfect. I make it soaking wet so that I can fuck it. I make you come so good I’m the only one you want inside you.”

I moaned and cried out his name, but I didn’t agree. I wasn’t supposed to want him like that. We were in denial if we thought this would ever work.

Yet, I couldn’t resist the desire, couldn’t resist him. I let him grab my hair roughly as he fucked me from behind and took every inch of him because I wanted it. I wanted him and he knew it.

He knew he had me at his mercy.

He murmured in my ear, “Tell me I fuck you best, Honeybee. Tell me this sweet pussy is all for me.”

“For tonight, it’s yours, Dimitri.”

He growled and pounded into me harder, his grip becoming bruising on my hip. I loved the feeling, like he wanted to own what he could. “For just tonight or forever? I’m not going to forget how this feels. And you better not either. Don’t you dare forget.”

He said it over and over as he fucked me roughly and came deep inside me. I convulsed around him then, too, crying out as bright-white light burst all across my world. The orgasm was so overwhelming that it actually hurt to come back to reality as my body relaxed. It was like I wanted his come to stay within me for much longer than a night.

I was wrong and delusional to think this would last more than just the night. I took deep breaths and closed my eyes tight as his hands drifted through my hair, then to my breast to rub my nipple, and then over my stomach to pull me closer to him.

He couldn’t possibly think we were going to cuddle now.

This was over.

It had to be.

I tried my best to break away right after.

“What are you doing?” he grumbled into my neck as he nuzzled closer to me.

“I should go wash up so we can go to sleep.”

“Wash up in the morning,” he murmured like he was half asleep already.

I was falling asleep too. “Dimitri, cuddling after sex is blurring the lines. And I told you I don’t cuddle.”

“There are no lines. You’re here. With me. You’re mine. My cock’s so far in you right now, I’d venture to say I’m yours too.” He kissed my neck, bit at my ear and sucked it better, then pulled out of me. He got up to go to the bathroom. When he returned, he had a warm washcloth. He tapped my thigh. “Open for me, honey.”

“I said I was going to go clean up myself.”

“And yet, I’m here, doing it for you.”

I tsked, not sure why he needed to, but his eyes were on my legs now, determined. “Why?” I asked as I spread them for him.

He slowly dragged the warm cloth up each thigh, then against every sensitive part of me. “Showing you what boyfriend material is.”

I couldn’t look away from him as he said it, as he focused on his task, as he cleaned away the evidence we’d made together of our desire for each other. “No way a guy is going to do this every time.”

“I will if you want me to,” he said softly. “Or I’ll leave myself all over you if you want me to.”

“Why would any girl want that?”

“Because it means you’re with me and only me, Olive. Some women do want to be with me.”

I hated that I got butterflies with the way he said it, with how the warm cloth dragged over my clit too. “They must know it’s nearly impossible to be with you exclusively.”

“Is it?” he whispered, and I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t respond. I let him move another clean cloth all over my body, and he did so slowly and precisely before he discarded it into the dirty laundry and then laid down next to me, bare naked still. I felt his cock again, wanted him again, almost arched into him again, but then he murmured, “Go to sleep, Honeybee. Go to sleep.”