Between Desire and Denial: Chapter 13

I followed him with my glass of water in hand. We went through the kitchen to the back porch where he showed me an elevated hot tub surrounded by pavers and stones. It all was atop a hill with a view of his acreage that couldn’t be beat. We passed a study and two rooms on the first floor before arriving at the primary suite. “I’ve been staying here,” he said, gesturing.

“Makes sense.” I shrugged and then padded across the room to peek into the bathroom.

I gasped at what I saw then. “Wow. This is heaven in a bathroom, Dimitri. Did you help design this?”

“Probably a bit too much. But I enjoy the luxury of it.”

“I love it. Look at this bathtub.” I giggled and skipped over to swing first one leg and then another into it. “This is what dreams are made of. I love a good bath”

A claw-foot tub sat in the middle of the tiled wet room where a rain spray ceiling mount was installed above it. “The layout was bigger than initially intended, and the marble mosaic tile along the walls is much too expensive to profit from on a flip, but I wanted it for when I was here. If you like it, you can stay in this room.”

I bit my lip at his offering, and somehow, us in that bathroom seemed much more intimate than it should have. Then, I cleared my throat and got out fast. “No. I … that’s not a good idea. Like I said, the upstairs works just fine for me.”

“Let me show you,” he said, casually, but as he passed me, he slowed to put the flower back in my hair.

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

“Putting things where they belong,” he murmured back to me before dragging his finger across my cheek and down to my chin where he lifted it. “Better, Honeybee. Much better.”

Dimitri Hardy was more observant than I gave him credit for. It was like he knew that damn flower was symbolic in some way. He didn’t say more about it, but he positioned it in just the right place on my left ear, like he’d known where it went all these years.

I stepped back because I didn’t want to indulge in the desire that was starting to brew much too quickly for a man I was going to be living with. Not that we’d be together a whole lot. He’s bound to be gone most of the time, I told myself. I’d have friends around. I’d meet new people. His building of the office near Paradise Grove was going to bring in herds of newcomers, much to the dislike of Paradise Groveians. As we made our way up the oak stairs, I noticed that the hallway on this floor wasn’t decorated at all.

It smelled of fresh paint, but it was all white. Two rooms and a bathroom with no furniture.

“So, you really haven’t been living here at all,” I observed.

“Nope.”

“So, who did your bathroom?”

“Just an interior designer, but—”

“Well they should help with decorating the rest then, right?” I told him. “I can’t decorate. Honestly.” Nor did I want to. The idea of making a house a home had me itching to leave it.

“They’ll need direction.”

“Direct them then.” I wasn’t going to.

“You’re here. We’re gonna play house aren’t we? Why can’t you?” The man smirked, and I knew he was trying to irk me. He truly must have enjoyed getting a rise out of me.

“The goal of me being here, for you, is to make people think you’re a part of this town so you can get them to approve your ridiculous plans. Not decorate this home.” Then, I looked in the next room and saw no bed either. “Is there only one freaking bed in this place? How do you have no furniture?”

“Well, as previously stated, I’m not here often.” He shrugged.

I turned slowly to face him. “Where am I supposed to sleep?”

He smiled big now, like he wanted to make a joke. “In my bed, next to me.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why? You afraid I’ll make you feel good again?”

“Nope.” Instantly, my body tightened. I’d probably indulge with him again if he weren’t friends with Kee. Or if I knew I didn’t need to stay with him and had a separate place to retreat. Things would get messy too fast living under the same roof. He was a bad idea. Yet my heart and body didn’t want to listen to my head. “We can’t sleep next to each other. We need boundaries. I’m here to help you and … there are issues with my brother, so I need to be here. Without complications.” I tried to be honest.

He leaned on the doorframe and stared at me in the white room. “Okay.” His voice was resigned. “I’ll sleep on the couch for a day or two. I’m going to head out of town anyway, won’t be here long.”

“Work?”

“Duty’s always calling, Honeybee.”

“Probably not the best nickname, considering …” I wasn’t going to finish that sentence.

“I have the Bee to make it nice and sentimental, and I coined the honey after I tasted you. I’m not dropping that nickname for anything.”

“Please stop,” I whined. “There has to be some sense of restraint while we’re both staying here. I’ll stay upstairs once we have it furnished, and you can stay downstairs. It’ll afford us some privacy.”

“I don’t really know why we need privacy.”

“Because, Darling D, I like my personal space.”

His eyes narrowed, “Why does that nickname feel like a slight?”

“Because it is one after you started calling me Honeybee in front of everyone.”

“Is the D for my name or for—”

“I don’t know, Dimitri. Do you think it’s darling?” I asked him sweetly.

I knew he wanted to say more, but the doorbell rang.

“Pizza’s here.” I turned and went to the door. I swung it open and smiled when I saw Esme, a blonde sapphire-eyed teenager who was one of Knox’s close friends. I gave her a hug as she welcomed me back and then saw that Jameson and Franny were standing beside her.

“Jameson and Franny came to deliver pizza too?”

“Esme drove with the pizza light on her car, and I wanted to say hi because she never delivers!” Franny announced.

“Guilty,” Esme admitted, laughing. And then she flipped her long, straight hair like she’d done years ago when she was going to share some gossip. “Dad came home from the board meeting in a tizzy, saying you two weren’t really living together or dating. Guess I’ll have to report back that you are.”

That was when Dimitri came to stand beside me, his big arm wrapping around me to pull me close. “Really dating. Really living together. And really enjoying it too.” He took his time looking down at me and then rearranged the flower in my hair before he kissed my temple softly. The gesture was so intimate that I felt myself melting into his touch so much that I purposefully steeled my emotions and stiffened in his hold.

“Daddy, I thought Olive Bee was your girl who ran away?” Franny bounced in front of us, her hands clasped.

Jameson looked at me, his icy blue eyes serious all of a sudden. “The girl who got away, Franny. Not ran away.”

I bit my lip at his admission. At one point, I would have wanted to hear that, but now I was standing there with Dimitri by my side, trying to ignore the pull between us.

“She’s back now. Next door. So, why does he get her?” She pointed at Dimitri. “Don’t you get her back?”

Jameson scooped her up and bounced Franny on his hip. “Maybe I’ll be given the chance to steal Olive away for a lunch or two, huh Dimitri?”

“It’s Mr. Hardy, Jameson.” Dimitri corrected him and I felt his body tighten next to mine. The tension in the room suddenly shifted, crackling between the two men. When I looked up at Dimitri, his stare was cold and hard as he held Jameson’s gaze. “And I’ll be clear now so there’s no misunderstanding, I don’t let anyone steal my girl away from me for anything.”

“Not even for a favorable vote from the board?” Jameson pushed him, raising an eyebrow.

“You could offer me this whole place on a platter and I wouldn’t want it without my Honeybee.”

The silence stretched after his response. He’d said it so definitely. Like I meant something to him all of a sudden.

And I think he would have kept up the act all night had Jameson not chuckled and stepped back toward the door. “We’ll see, huh? Either way, me and my girl Olive need to catch up.”

“She’s no one’s girl but mine now. It’s best you remember that.”

Jameson didn’t say anything else as Franny yelled bye. Esme wide-eyed me, pulling me in for a hug and to whisper, “Awkward. They both want you.”

After she left, Dimitri turned to me and said, “We’re going to have to work on your public displays of affection.”

“Why’s that?” I leaned against the countertop, looking at the pizza box instead of him.

He stepped close suddenly, and I felt him everywhere. It was like I couldn’t escape how my body responded to his, how his touch ignited a fire in me that I couldn’t put out. “Because you’re stiff even when I kiss your head in front of your friends, Olive. Or is that because Jameson isn’t just a friend?”

He caged me against the counter, and I licked my lips while I looked up at what seemed to be burning jealousy in his bright-green eyes. “Dimitri, Jameson is just a friend.” Why did I have to defend myself?

“Really? How long ago was that crush you had on him? Because I’m convinced his crush for you is still going strong.”

“He likes any single girl within a two-mile radius,” I chuckled and patted Dimitri’s chest.

Jameson had always been a womanizer, but we’d gotten along fine through the years. He had his own issues to deal with, but having a family who put their burdens on their children gave us something in common and made him an ally. It’s what we bonded over.

“You’re not single. You’re mine. Do I need to remind you of that?” Dimitri growled. “Maybe I need to go to lunch with you two.”

“Well, considering you’re not going to be here much, you’ll probably miss out. Right?” Why did I throw that out like I wanted him to be around?

“All the more reason for me to establish that boundary right away.”

“What boundary?”

“That he can like every other woman in a two-mile radius, but he can’t like my woman.”

I laughed at that. “Get real. Even if Jameson and I quietly see each other, it’ll be no skin off your back. He’d be discreet. Believe me, he’s probably hooked up with half the women in this community and none of them know it.”

“You’d hook up with him?”

I scoffed because this conversation didn’t matter. “Dimitri, my sex life is close to nil right now. I left Rufford, slept with you only to learn what I’ve been missing out on, and now I have to spend a stressful who knows how long in my hometown while working on finding a career. If I want to destress with someone, I will.”

“Or you can destress with me.” His forehead fell to mine as he cut me off with that soft statement, and my stomach dipped at the thought. He continued on. “We are supposed to be together.”

I couldn’t contemplate this idea. It’d mess everything up. “Couples swing and cheat all the time.”

He jerked back to stare into my eyes. “We’re not being a couple that does that.”

“We’re not a real couple. Our relationship is a fake one,” I reminded him. “Plus, like I said, if Jameson were interested, he would be discreet, I can guarantee it. Just like when you are traveling and want to be discreet, that would be great too.”

I hated saying that. It felt like a knife to the gut thinking about him sleeping with someone else, but honestly, it made things much easier. We were establishing realistic expectations.

“You think I’m going to go fuck someone else, Honeybee? When I still think about the taste of your pussy?”

“Jesus, Dimitri.” I shook my head at him.

“You’re mine, Olive. As long as we’re here. Don’t forget.”

Right. As long as we’re here. And that meant he was concerned about his investment, not me. I reminded myself that as I squeezed his arm and slid under it to step aside before my body reacted to him being this close. “Well, Jameson is harmless to our efforts, and me having lunch with him will ultimately help your cause.”

“I don’t really give a—” He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think it’s necessary.”

“I think it doesn’t matter one way or the other. He’s a friend I need to catch up with. I should talk to him about my brother too.” Jameson always knew what was happening in Paradise Grove. He’d know if my brother was talking to people he shouldn’t be.

He hummed as if assessing something. “You want to talk with Jameson about your brother but not me? That’s interesting.”

“I just …” I chewed on my cheek and stared at Dimitri. I was going to have to put some trust in him if I wanted this to work. “You’re close with your siblings, Dimitri. In a way, I wish I was close with mine.”

He nodded but waited for me to continue, and somehow his silent acceptance made me feel like I could share what I was ashamed of.

“You’ll think less of me when you hear that I left Knox when I went to college and stopped visiting after having a falling out with my father and stepmom. I was selfish in protecting my own sanity rather than—”

“Selfish? I’ve seen you taking care of Kee, not traveling the world, Olive.” He frowned at me. “You put her first a lot.”

“Right, well, of course. She’s a good friend, but I could have been caring for my brother, too, and I should have weighed the priorities more.”

He scoffed at that. “Olive, did you put yourself first much as a kid?”

“I mean my mom was sick…” My mouth snapped shut and I frowned before I chose my words carefully. “I am happy for every day I got with her, but you don’t put yourself first when someone is sick. I tried my best to care for her when my father wasn’t around which was most of the time.”

“Right. So, I think you’re selling yourself short. You then came and took care of Kee right?”

“Hardly taking care of her. I did her hair and was a friend to her.”

“Kee needed you always, Olive. You know that. She dealt with a lot being in the public eye and you were there for her.”

“Maybe,” I begrudgingly agreed.

“And now you’re back, figuring out things with your brother. I’ll say it again, don’t sell yourself short.”

Dimitri Hardy was making me feel better while we stood there in the living room, and I was completely falling for it. Him giving me grace now had me appreciating having him with me while I navigated being back home. It made me wonder if I’d been selling him short. “I appreciate you saying that even if you don’t technically know everything I’ve been doing in the last few years.”

He chuckled. “Well, we need to work on changing that, considering the circumstances.” He stepped up to me, closing the distance between us so that our chests were touching, and I took a sharp breath. My resolve at denying myself his touch was waning now and any touch from him felt like lightning through my veins. It reminded me of the times I was with him. My body hadn’t forgotten even though I desperately wanted it to.

“How do we go about that?” I shouldn’t have asked.

“You share with me certain things, and I share with you certain things. We learn.” I licked my lips and his eyes snapped to them immediately. “Don’t you want to share so I know how to make it look like you’re my girlfriend?”

“I …” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to figure what he meant by that. I stepped back and turned to grab a slice of pizza. I took a bite and mumbled, “I’m going to unpack and rinse off quick.”

He went to grab my suitcase. “I’ll take your luggage to the primary suite. You can unpack and use the dresser and closet. There’s a ton of space.”

I hurried to finish my slice as I shook my head. “No. I can do it. Or we can just put it upstairs for when we order another bed and I stay up there.”

“I’m taking your things to our damn room,” he grumbled and walked off. I followed him as he combed his hand through his hair like he was trying to shake off the tension between us.

“You’re right. I’m not even thinking. I need to look like I’m living with you anyway,” I agreed as we walked down the hall.

I swore I heard him grumble that it wasn’t the point, but I couldn’t be sure. “Just put your stuff wherever you want, okay? Our bedroom should have enough space for both our things.”

“It’s your bedroom,” I corrected him.

“Well, ours tonight since you’re sleeping in my bed. I’ll let you unpack, but call me if you need anything, Honeybee. Anything at all.” His voice rumbled under my skin and caused me to shiver.

“Thanks,” I murmured, but he was already gone, leaving me to unpack and then unwind in that oasis of a bathroom on my own. I searched the cabinets and found his designer must have taken great thought into what should be stored here. There were plush towels, soaps with gold specks in them, and bath bombs that I was sure Dimitri didn’t use.

Someone had stocked and decorated this bathroom for a king. Or for Dimitri, hoping he would be thankful. It was a reminder that I might have Jameson after me, but Dimitri probably had hordes of women after him.

I sighed and grabbed a bath bomb. I wanted to relax for just a short minute, to decompress alone, to relieve the tension of being in the house with him.

Dimitri didn’t know me or my past. He didn’t understand that this town could turn a person inside out and eat them alive. I was bringing him into that, shaking things up, and he was shaking me up in the process.

I let the bath bomb spread across the water and turned on the rain spout from above. The pink foam fizzed, smelling like sweet fruit. I breathed out as I got in the hot water and let it work on loosening my muscles. I was surprised to find the bathtub had small jets too.

Everything melted away—every worry, every concern—and all that was left was the thought of being in his home, in his space, completely naked, like I belonged there.

He may have had another woman create this oasis, but I sat there with the smells of him all around me and the echo of his voice still in my ears. I felt how he’d breathed my name in that kitchen, how his eyes raked over my lips as I bit them, and my hand immediately slid between my legs. Desire is always strong when a release is needed. I wanted him even though I knew I would have to deny myself. Here in the bathroom alone, I could envision him though.

I slid my hand into the water, down my body, and then between my legs. I imagined him with me, how his hands felt, how he was rough but so gentle when he wanted to be. The moans I let escape were small as I worked myself higher and higher.

“Honeybee.” My name rumbled from deep in his chest as my eyes flew open to see him leaning against the doorframe.

“Oh my God!” I jumped and a bunch of the water and bubbles sloshed over the tub onto the tile floor. It’d been designed to take water into a drain three feet away, so I wasn’t concerned about that. I was concerned that he was standing at the doorway, leaning against the frame, looking like absolute perfection with just sweatpants on.

“Don’t whisper my name when you come. When you’re in my house, scream it nice and loud so I know you’re thinking of me.”

“What are you doing in here?”

“I came to put on my sweats after I showered upstairs and heard you saying my name.”

“So, you just walked in?”

“It’s my bathroom. You said that. Plus, I thought you might be calling me because you needed something. Maybe to destress?” He brought up our conversation from before and that smirk on his face was almost irresistible.

“You were supposed to be giving me time to relax,” I reminded him.

“I still am.” He looked into the bubbly water, and I didn’t shift to cover anything of mine now. “I just want to witness my girlfriend relaxing. Maybe learn a bit more about what she likes.”

I looked down and saw how his sweatpants were pitching a large tent. I couldn’t look away either. I licked my lips and tried my best to will myself to close my eyes, but they wouldn’t listen to me at all. “You should leave.”

“I should. But you know I’m not going to.”