Chapter 38

I reacted the way I shouldn't have reacted. Instinctively I covered my mouth with my hand and took a few steps back from the bed. Alex visibly frowned at my reaction. Mateusz was also shocked by this sight but he did not move, just watched the stump. Alex, half confused, half embarrassed, tried to say calmly.

"I told you, I'm good. It's alright. It's not that painful as it looks..." Neither me or Mateusz were convinced.

"Who did this to you?" I screamed in shock, tears in my eyes. It just couldn't be worse...

"No one. That was only my fault... And my friend's." He made a little pause. "He stepped on mine and I was walking next to him. He's dead and I'm..." He hesitated.  "I'm like that now. Without left hand and..." He was visibly uneasy and I felt that it could be worse.

"And?" I insisted.

"And a little bit of left leg..." Mateusz carefully perked up and opened the quilt in the place where Alex's left leg should be but there was only emptiness there. He pushed the sheets higher and higher until he finally reached the stump.

As Alex said, he was missing his left leg from the knee down. I started sobbing openly at the sight. Why is this world so cruel and unfair?! What did Alex do to deserve all that?! I cuddled up to him and hid my face in his linen shirt.

"Hey, beautiful girl..." He started patting my head. "... It's alright, sweetheart. It's okay." His words sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than me.

Since then, I've moved to an apartment above and taken some time off from work. I took care of Alex and his injuries. He was clearly happy that I had moved in with him and so he was able to spend more time with me now than before. For the time being, his supervisor had released him from military service and he could stay at home. I cooked meals for him, cleaned the apartment, helped him get to the bathroom. He was helped in the baths by Mateusz, who was specially coming upstairs at the appointed hour and together with Alex they would shut themselves up for some time in a bathroom.

While Alex stayed in his bedroom, I settled myself in the living room, on one of those comfortable and little used couches. Of course, he offered me to sleep in the same bed with him and promised not to touch me. I declined.

One day, when I went downstairs to the apartment for a moment to get the ingredients to make pancakes and came back upstairs, the sight I saw curdled my blood. Alex was standing on a stool in the living room with a noose around his neck that was attached to a chandelier...