Chapter 15

Alex looked different than usual. He did not smile and his eyes did not hide the flames of joy and optimism. He looked more like a tired, indeed, exhausted man. Only now I noticed sacks under his eyes, which were probably souvenirs of sleepless nights. I was surprised that I didn't notice it yesterday either. He looked at me with his tired eyes and sighed as he was about to do something really unpleasant ...

"What's wro ...?" I did not finish, because in one second he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, and my eyes saw numerous scars that wrapped around his arms like snakes. "Oh my God!" I whispered, covering my mouth with my hand and choking a moan of surprise.

He reamin silent. He didn't want to speak. He just looked sadly at me with those blue tired eyes. He didn't come up to me. He preferred to keep his distance. I respected that and didn't approach him either. I watched his scarred wounds from a distance and that was enough for me, because they looked really terrible, as if after whipping.

"Are you afraid of German soldiers?" He finally asked. I didn't answer or even nod my head, but he knew my answer. " And you're right. We beat people to death, put them in jail, torture them and murder ... I guess, you heard the story of Mat's parents. I helped them to escape form Poland. After that, someone reported to me for the command." He took a deep breath, as if he was preparing to be hit. " So I got my punishment. I was whipped for 3 nights in a row. They whipped all my body except hands, feet and face." He took a short break to inhale again. " After the punishment, my former associates beat me on the street. They said my punishment was too mild and that I betrayed our nation." He confessed, and as he spoke, I translated his words into Polish in my head, but I did not know the meaning of some of the words he used. However, I understood that he was punished with lashes for helping Poles and later someone else beat him. I felt sorry for him. For a moment I forgot he was German and I wanted to hug him, but I remembered it in time and stopped myself. He was still standing by the window, looking out into the snow-covered world. He wouldn't look at me and I understood that. It was probably difficult for him to talk about it, even to a Polish maid.

"Do they know?" I finally asked ending the silence between us.

"No." He replied after a few seconds.  " I don't want them to know what price I had to pay for the safety of their family."  He turned to face me and with a sad smile said. " I'm sorry that it had to be you to listen my story.  There was no one who could listen to this and understand me."

I felt that I was blushing and he left the room  quickly. I was left alone confused...