thirty-two

"But how..." Jisung whispers. "How do you know?"

Minho wipes the tear on his cheek. Places a kiss on his lips. Brings him closer to himself. "Hyunjin said she said your name. She's been asking if he has seen you. And she's not well..."

"Mama Haeun— Mrs. Hwang's not well?" Jisung says. Fright shows in his eyes. His hand touches Minho's chest. Over his heart.

"So you remember... her name..."

"Yeah..." Jisung says. He sniffs. Lays his head on Minho's shoulder.

"What else do you remember, sweetheart?"

Jisung's voice trembles as he speaks. "I remember... everything about them now. She'd tell me to call her Mama Haeun..."

"She'd make clothes. She was very good... She always made shirts for her son... I remember, he's Hyunjin's father..."

"He got me for her so she could try clothes on me when he was working. She talked to me a lot when she was measuring clothes on me... I think she said nice things because I started hearing her, then changing..."

Hearing? Changing? Is Jisung lifeless until some regular attention... brings him out? Good attention. Like kind words... interest... care...

And then love keeps him going?

That has to be it. Minho complimented him out loud in the beginning. Drew him. And Hyunjin's grandmother... must've done that too.

"How did it go... the first time she met you?" He asks.

"I didn't remember my name then," Jisung says. "I was scared because... I felt that people get scared of me and want to hurt me..."

"And she was staring at me... so I told her not to be scared and to please not hurt me... but she asked me if I was pretending to be a mannequin this whole time and why I was doing that..."

"I cried because I thought she already hated me... but when I started crying... she stopped being mad..."

Minho hugs him tighter. Hyunjin's grandmother might have felt sorry. Worried. He would've too... if Jisung burst into tears.

"My poor baby..." Minho pecks his shoulder.

"She told her son later, when I was a mannequin... and they were both waiting for me the next day..." Jisung's voice is wobbling a lot.

"T-They were so kind... Hyunjin's father would read to me... he showed me many things... t-taught me so much..."

"Hyunjin said... he had a heart attack..." Minho says.

Jisung pulls back. His hand is on Minho's chest again. His eyes are swollen. "H-He was in pain... Mama Haeun wasn't there... I d-didn't know what to do... then he... stopped..."

Minho's heart sinks. He realizes...

The man had a heart attack with Jisung there. Jisung couldn't help him. Didn't know how to. It led to his death. That's why the woman was upset. That's why she got angry with Jisung... who was clueless...

"She told me... I should've helped him... asked why I didn't help him..." Jisung whimpers. Gasps. He starts heaving from his cries.

"Sungie, it's not your fault. You didn't know how to help him. He must've been sick... it was just a bad situation..."

Minho's trying not to cry too. "Listen, even if you helped him, he still could've died in the hospital. I think his health wasn't very good, Jisung... You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know you were scared... seeing him die... watching your Mama Haeun come home to that. Whatever she said to you then would've hurt."

"But I think it was because she was scared and sad... not because she hated you or thought you were a bad person..."

He gently pulls away. Peers into Jisung's eyes. "When we get scared, upset, or angry, we say and do things we don't really mean... we do it without thinking. It can hurt people we love..."

Jisung sniffs. His hands rub at his eyes. "L-Like when I broke the bowl?"

"No, baby, that just fell out of your hands... but maybe when you were snapping at me? And... when I kicked you? I didn't want to do that... and I know you weren't being mean to me that day, you were just tired and your memories made you very worried and stressed..."

"I thought you wouldn't want me anymore..."

"I know... but that won't happen, okay? I love you. Even if you say things that hurt, or I do, we can talk about it, apologize, and try to understand each other, okay? That's how it's supposed to be."

"I will always love you. You make me so happy and I don't like it when I don't see you. I don't like the thought of losing you from my life..."

"So, that's why I think... maybe you should see Hyunjin's grandma... maybe you two can talk about Mr. Hwang, because... he was important to her, and you cared about him too..."

Jisung is still crying. Sniveling. "W-What if she wants to see me to... to get angry at me again? What if she tells me I hurt him—"

"I don't think she'll do that," Minho says. "And Jisung, you have me now. If she's angry about that, then she doesn't have to see you again, and you don't have to see her."

Minho kisses his reddened lips. "You're staying with me, living with me, being alive from my love. You're my Jisung, right?"

Jisung blinks. He nods slowly. Minho smiles. Pecks his mouth.

"So? Is it okay if I ask Hyunjin? It doesn't have to be soon... just whenever you feel ready. I know you're scared, but I'll be with you."

"If I get really scared... I might turn into a mannequin again."

"T-Then... I'll sit in front of you and cry until you turn alive..."

Jisung touches his face. "No... don't do that. Don't cry. I don't like it."

Minho hugs him. Places his head in Jisung's warm neck.

A few minutes later... Jisung speaks again. His voice's tiny from all his crying. "Minho... are there any strawberries in the fridge?"

To be continued...

Can I just admit something real quick... I fucking dislike hearing those 'baby' or 'sweetheart' nicknames irl.

I just cringe for some reason. But even when I'm writing, I sometimes cringe at them lmao. But apparently, according to my friends who are already in a relationship... nicknames are cute.

Idk bruhhh maybe I'm just not used to hearing those. Like, I never heard my parents call each other bAbY or SwEetHEart.