Chapter 29

RHYS

The constant pounding on the right side of my head reminded me last night wasn't a terrible, horrible dream. My entire body ached and hurt so much I could hardly move my limbs. I tried to focus on anything other than the pain, but it was next to impossible. I deserved every punch Blaine threw at me. I was a fucking awful brother and an even worse friend. After Ivy left, Blaine locked himself in his bedroom, and with much effort, I pulled myself up off the ground, told everyone the party was over, and made my way down to the bunkhouse. There was no point in trying to talk to Blaine. I had already done and said enough.

When I walked back into the ranch for breakfast, I had no idea what to expect and saw Blaine standing in the kitchen. His back was facing me as he stared out the window. He wore the same clothes he had worn the night before. They were stained with dirt and spattered with my blood. Slowly, he turned to face me. His eyes were hollow and bloodshot, and his face was sullen and pale. He looked like shit. He probably didn't sleep a wink. I could only imagine I didn't look much better.

"I thought you'd be gone," he hissed.

My head hurt so much, and memories of last night started to flood my brain. I wished I could block them out. I wished I could rewrite the past. I wished more than anything Blaine would forgive me. Memories of seeing Ivy walk away from both of us made my heart painfully thump, and I begged it to calm down.

"I probably shouldn't be driving anywhere," I hobbled toward him and propped myself against the kitchen island. My legs felt weak and sore. I needed some support. "At least until some of the pain goes away. You throw a mean left hook," I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"How could you, Rhys?" Blaine's voice faltered. He was unable to look at me. "How could you fuck her? How could you do that to me?"

"Blaine," my voice was scratchy, my throat raw. "I'm so sorry. I am. But I love her. I think I always have."

"You love her? God, Rhys...of all the girls in the world, you just had to have Ivy? I can't believe my brother betrayed me like this. I trusted you. After our fight, I even asked you to move her back into the ranch because I trusted you. And you fucked her..." his voice was strained. He exhaled heavily and swallowed before running a hand through his hair. "You fucked Ivy." When he exhaled those three words, it was as if the reality of it all physically knocked the wind out of him. He gripped the countertop and clenched his jaw. I noticed his knuckles were still raw and red from attacking me. "I gave up everything to be with her. I chased after Ivy for all of high school, even though Veronica loved the hell out of me. I turned down Dartmouth. I turned down Paris. And all this time, you loved her...and she loved you...I was the fucking fool."

"You have every right to be angry with me," was all I could say.

He looked up at me, and I watched his eyes shift through multiple emotions before he relaxed and his features settled on one.

"I wish you'd just told me how you felt about Ivy," he ran a hand down his face. "All these years, Rhys? Sure, it would have hurt. You always got the girl...and of course, you did again. But it would have been so much better than you two pretending all these years. You should have told me, Rhys. It would have been way better than how I found out."

"You're right. I should have told you ages ago. I wished and hoped my feelings for Ivy would eventually go away...I knew how much you loved her....so I tried to stay away...but being in close quarters with her was...challenging."

He raised his head, and his eyes suddenly looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept all night. "You were the last person I thought would hurt me, Rhys."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried not to let my emotions get the better of me.

"Anyone but you..." He spoke so softly. "I thought Ivy might find herself looking your way...I mean...girls have always just thrown themselves at you. But I never thought I'd have to worry...I thought Ivy loved me...and I thought I could trust you." He looked away from me, and there was a bitter note in his voice I wasn't used to hearing.

"Now what? Where do we go from here, Blaine?" I asked. "We both lost the girl. She walked away from both of us."

He ran a hand through his hair. "It's simple. You will go your way, and I will go mine." Tears immediately glazed his eyes as I looked over at his sad but calm face. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you." He swallowed hard and took a deep and steadying breath. I started to say something, but Blaine beat me to it. "You won't need to worry about me. I was able to re-secure my spot at the University of Paris. I'm leaving. And I'm sure as hell going to be okay." He swallowed and looked away. "I won't be going back to Missoula with Ivy."

I couldn't control the tears as they fell down my cheeks. I hated how I betrayed him.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine."

He exhaled slowly, and I could see a struggle building in his eyes before he finally spoke. "If you love Ivy like you said, you need to go after her."

I had no idea what to say, so I just nodded. I couldn't believe his selflessness. He turned and left me. I watched him disappear up the staircase, and my chest stung at the vision of Blaine leaving. I understood that he needed to go. Maybe we'd be able to repair our relationship one day. For now, the thought of not having Blaine in my life hurt more than my battered and bruised limbs.

He was right about one thing, though. I needed to go after her and beg for her forgiveness.

______

I turned off the car, and the engine ticked in the silence. I was parked in the Bishop's driveway, staring out the windshield at Ivy's home, which featured a white porch wrapping around old gray siding. The front windows were timeworn and needed to be replaced. Inside, I could see the hint of heavy floral curtains. The house was average-sized and full of character and held many memories of growing up in Moose Creek. It dawned on me that I hadn't returned to the Bishop's home since our Senior year graduation party.

I bravely reached for the door handle and got out of the car. It took one knock for Anna Bishop to appear at the door. She gasped when she saw me, probably shocked by my fat lip and black eye. The concern on her face didn't go unnoticed. She looked at me with her eyebrows drawn together. "Rhys?"

"Hello, Ms. Bishop," I said.

"Rhys, honey..." she took a cautious step forward. "What on earth happened to you? Your face is black and blue."

"I'm alright," I shrugged. "Just a little scuffle between brothers."

"Blaine did this to you?" she puffed, horrified. "Geez. Are you okay? Have you been to see a Doctor?"

"No, ma'am. I'm fine."

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Umm...well...I'd like to speak with Ivy...and Eddie if he's around."

It was the first time that I considered coming here might be a horrible idea. I was in love with Ivy. She could see it all over my face. How would Ms. Bishop react to that?

Tilting her head, she said, "Honey, neither of them is here. They left for Missoula," she continued. "Ivy came home last night upset as hell...and Eddie drove her back to Missoula first thing in the morning. I begged her to stay ... but you know Ivy, she already had her mind made up. Did something happen last night between her and Blaine? Is everything okay?"

"Wait. She left?" was all I could muster.

"Rhys, what is going on?"

I closed my eyes, knowing I'd decided to accept defeat as soon as she said that. Ivy didn't want me anymore. It pained me more than my current state. There's no point in holding back now. My heart hammered in my throat, chest, and every inch of my skin. This felt like the worst form of heartbreak. Of course, I'd been with other girls, and they'd ended things with me before. But nothing felt like this – some ripping ache buried deep in my soul – that made me know Ivy was different. She always has been.

"I've screwed everything up in my life, and I have no idea what my future holds... but there is one thing I'm certain about Ms. Bishop...and that's your daughter. I love Ivy."

Realization dawned on Ms. Bishop's face. "Oh boy...did Blaine find out? Is that where you got that black eye from?" she asked.

I nodded. "When you talk to Eddie, can you tell him I'm sorry? I'm sorry for everything." I stepped back, scrambling to end this conversation quickly, but Ms. Bishop didn't move.

"Maybe you should come in for a cup of tea and a slice of my homemade apple pie," she suggested. Her eyes are glossy with pity. It made my stomach turn. This was the most embarrassing moment of my life.

"No, thank you, Ms. Bishop. I need to get going," I said.

"You are headed to Nashville, right?" she asked, curiosity laced in her voice. "Blaine had mentioned something."

I nodded and ran a hand through my hair. "Yeah, and I can't help but feel I've made a huge mistake leaving Ivy behind... but I couldn't ask her to come with me when everything in my life is so uncertain, you know? Ivy deserves better than that. I came by because I couldn't leave without telling her how much I love her. I needed her to know, even though I'm sure she's done with me. And I'm sure she'll move on... I just hope I can, too."

"And you don't think you can?" she asked softly.

"I don't think I should."

"You and Ivy are so young," she sighed. "Believe me, honey, if two people are meant to be, they will always find their way back to each other, no matter what road leads them apart. Maybe you both need to work on yourselves right now, and that's okay. Maybe some people find the one they're meant to spend the rest of their lives with right when their lives are starting out, but that doesn't mean they should give up on their hopes and dreams of being together. You need to be patient."

"But what if Ivy is the one, and I let her go?" I ran my hand over my face and realized I was sweating a little. I wanted to be with Ivy so badly it hurt my head. "And what if we don't find our way back to each other? I would regret my decision for the rest of my life."

"Then chase her down in Missoula right now and ask her to follow you to Nashville," Ms. Bishop smirked as if she were challenging me, knowing full well what my answer would be.

"No. I can't do that," I breathed. "I can't ask Ivy to give up everything for me."

"One day, you will find your way back to Ivy." She placed her hand on my face and gave me a reassuring smile. "I'm sure of it."

And with that last thought in mind, I said my goodbyes to Ms. Bishop, uncertain whether I'd ever see her again.