Chapter 24

The green glowing numerals of my dashboard clock said 6:15 by the time I finally left Tampa General Hospital and turned my little car towards home. The first faint blush of dawn was coloring the sky a delicate gray-pink, and I was supposed to be married in less than five hours.

I felt like hell.

At least Genevieve was going to be okay. She’d regained consciousness not long after being admitted, and I had held her hand until the nurse made me leave. She seemed a little disoriented, but she was still sharp enough to take in my appearance and see that I wasn’t my normal self.

“Holy shit, Kemet,” she muttered when she got a good look at me. “What the hell happened to you? My head feels like a pride parade is going full tilt inside it, but you look like the parade ran you over.”

“I’m fine,” I assured her. “And the doctor says you will be too. Thanks for helping me, I’m just sorry you got knocked around in the process.”

She waved her injury off with a flick of her wrist. “Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked, tactfully not mentioning Richard by name.

I cleared my throat. “Yes, unfortunately.”

She shook her head and winced. “Ow, my head. I knew I’d be sorry I helped you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I said, squeezing her hand. “Some things we have to find out for ourselves. You’re a good friend, Genevieve. I’ll never forget you.”

She looked alarmed. “Hey, you sound like you’re gonna go end your life or something, Kemet. For God’s sake, don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

I laughed, a broken, choppy sound. “It’s hard to regret if you’re dead, you know. But no, I’m not going to commit suicide. I’m just going to get married. If Charles will still have me.”

“Charlie-boy?” She frowned. “You’re going back to him? But I thought your brother, er, I mean Richard, was the guy you were jonesing after.”

“I thought he was, too.” I closed my eyes, seeing flashes of my ordeal in the cage, of the beast plunging into my open, unresisting body, of the pain and pleasure that had filled me.

“So what changed?” Genevieve asked with genuine curiosity.

I sighed. “I guess I found out that sometimes the dull, safe choice is the best. I’ve gotten involved in some…some pretty bizarre things since Richard came back into my life. I was seduced by the excitement of seeing him again at first, but now…now the normal, boring existence I have with Charles is looking pretty good.”

“Well…” Genevieve looked at me doubtfully. “I guess now is the chick-flick moment when I’m supposed to say, ‘follow your heart,’ or some kind of shit like that. But to be honest, Kemet, I’ve seen too much on the job to tell you that. What you need to do is follow your gut. If you have warning bells going off inside your head, then don’t ignore them. But don’t just jump into one situation to get away from another.”

“I’m not jumping into marriage with Charles,” I pointed out. “We’ve been engaged for what seems like forever. I’m just going to follow through.”

“Okay.” Genevieve closed her eyes wearily. “I’m too beat to argue with you here, Kemet. Just take care of yourself and do the best you can to stay out of trouble.”

“Lately my best isn’t enough,” I said with a sigh. “Especially after…”

“After what?” She cracked one eye to look at me. I thought about telling her that the Tampa PD had to worry a lot less about organized crime now and decided against it. She’d find out on her own soon enough and besides, the nurse was shooing me out the door.

“Never mind,” I said. “Just take care of yourself, Genevieve.”

“You too,” she murmured, her eyes closing again.

I left her dozing peacefully in the hospital bed and headed for home. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew that a call to Charles was in order, especially since I had now decided that boring and predictable was good—very, very good. With Charles I could be certain of a life of normalcy and stability. And even more important, I would never have to worry about my body betraying me into unnatural lusts or moonlight murders. Yes, that was definitely the way to go. Which meant I didn’t have much time to get ready.

On the way home as I watched the sunrise, I called my fiancé, hoping to get his voicemail again. It would be so much easier to just leave a message and show up at the wedding as though nothing had happened than to dredge up an explanation of why I had missed my own rehearsal dinner. But luck wasn’t with me this time. Charles picked up on the first ring.

“Rachel?” he asked, his voice sounding tense and irritated. “Where the hell are you? And where were you last night? Mother was beside herself when you didn’t show.”

I sighed wearily and thought ~Here we go.~ “Didn’t you get my message?” I asked him. “I was with a friend. I, uh, had to take her to the hospital. In fact,” I added with sudden inspiration, “I just left the Tampa General ER not ten minutes ago.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t really the truth either, and telling it made my stomach hurt.

“This must be some wonderful friend for you to stand me up at our rehearsal dinner.” Charles sounded extremely pissed. Or ‘put out’ as he might have said himself. “Are you going to stand me up for the wedding as well, ~Dearest~?” he asked in an icy tone.

“No. I’ll be there.” I swallowed the angry retort I wanted to throw at him. He deserved to be angry at me. In fact, he deserved to be ~much~ angrier than he was, he just didn’t know it.

“Are you certain?” Charles’s voice softened a little. “I really was terribly worried about you, Darling. You weren’t home and you didn’t answer your phone and I guess I just assumed…well, that you’d reconsidered.”

“You thought I got cold feet and decided to skip town?”

“Well, from the way you’ve been ducking my phone calls the last two weeks and the cool reception I’ve been getting from when you ~do~ pick up, it didn’t seem to be an unreasonable assumption,” he pointed out.

I felt a sudden stab of guilt. Charles might be a bore sometimes, but he was still my fiancé. I’d made a commitment to him and I knew I needed to honor it no matter how empty I felt when I imagined myself walking down the aisle to stand by his side.

“I’m sorry,” I said in a low voice, taking the turn for my house. “I know I haven’t really been emotionally available lately, Charles. I’ve just…I let myself get distracted.”

“So I gathered,” he said dryly. Neither one of us mentioned Richard’s name, but it hung in the air like a boulder between us.

“I’m back on track now,” I said in a stronger voice, trying to assure myself as much as Charles. “No more distractions. And I promise I’ll show up at the church on time.”

“Well...all right then. I’ll be waiting for you. You’re going to make a ravishing bride, you know.” His voice dropped into a sexy growl. “And I for one can’t wait to ravish you.”

“And you’re going to make a handsome groom. I...I can’t wait.” I swallowed hard, hearing a click in my throat. “I better go, Charles. I just pulled up at my house and it’s going to take me forever to get ready.”

“Shall I send Mother or Ursula to help you?” he asked considerately. “I know they’d be more than pleased.”

The thought of having to deal with either my nasty-nice fake-polite future mother-in-law or the simpering Ursula at this time of day turned my stomach.

“No, no,” I said hastily. “I’ll be fine. In fact, I think I need a little alone time. To calm my nerves.”

“Well, if you’re sure…”

“I am. But thank you, Charles. And I’ll see you at Our Lady of the Immaculate Heart right on time, I promise.” It was like I was promising to keep a business appointment instead of talking about my own wedding but I refused to let myself think about that.

“All right then, I’ll let you go. And Rachel?” he said.

“Hmm?” I was already getting out of the car, planning to take the hottest bath I could stand.

“I love you.” Charles sounded so sincere that it stopped me dead in my tracks.

“I...love you too,” I forced myself to say. The words felt heavy and dry in my throat but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Good, then get ready to stand up in front of five hundred people and say so.” He laughed and hung up.

I flipped my phone closed and made my way to the door. A bath, I just needed a nice hot bath to wash the grime and craziness of the previous night off my skin and then I’d be ready to get married. Wouldn’t I?