Chapter Fifty-Seven

When his name left my mouth Ba Weis lips crashed onto mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. The feeling of his tongue against mine made the pleasure almost euphoric. When our lips parted the only thing that left our mouths were heavy breaths.

We lay there in silence for I don't know how long, and I couldn't help but be somewhat thankful. I knew if he were to look me in the eyes right now. The part of me in his hand that was now flaccid would definitely become hard again.

As that thought crossed my mind I finally realized what had just happened. I didn't think my face could turn any more red. He just jerked me off! He just heard me moan!

In the mist of my panic Ba Wei slowly pulled his body away from mine. He didn't say anything as he leaned back against his heels but he did look down. I covered my eyes with my arm and I heard a chuckle come from him.

"It was a lot," he said as he slowly stroked it making me arch my back.

I didn't say anything because quite frankly I couldn't. That part of me was so sensitive and just that small stroke made my heart beat way toofast. Ba Wei stroked a few more times before he let go and I heard him get to his feet.

"You can go take a shower if you like." I moved my arm and slowly sat up. I looked up at him to see him wiping his hand with something.

"Um...okay."

Even though I answered with that I wanted to say something else. I wanted to tell him to let me help him too, but it wouldn't come out. I watched as he walked into the kitchen.

"The bathrooms is that door right there," he said pointing to a door by the television.

I didn't say anything and got to my feet. I cleared my throat and walked towards the bathroom door. When I was about to open the door Ba Wei called out to me.

"What?"

"I'm gonna take the trash out. I'll be right back."

I didn't say anything and just walked into the bathroom. When I shut the door I heard the front door close. I turned and looked in the mirror and as I stared at my reflection a unfamiliar feeling surfaced.

As I stared at my reflection the only thing I felt was disgust. I did it again. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. Why do I always do this? Why do I always make things like this? Why am I always selfish? He hates me. That's why he left. He's disgusted with me. As I stared in that mirror I could feel the tears burning my eyes.

"It's okay," I said aloud, "I'm not the same. I'm not the same."

Even though I repeated that to myself I didn't believe it. Thinking back on what happened just moments ago made me angry. Why am I like this? Why am I so weird. He probably hates me.... He has to hate me. Why am I so gross?

I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and started to look around. The bathroom was small, but surprisingly it was clean. I undressed and walked into the walk-in shower and cut on the water.

When the cold water hit my skin I took in a sharp breath but I didn't move. Soon the water started to warm up and I let my head fall underneath the stream.The hot water felt nice against my skin. It made me forget about the feelings that had surfaced. Hopefully it would stay that way.

———

When I got out the shower Ba Wei still wasn't back. A tinge of pain hit my heart. I didn't run him off did I? I walked out of the bathroom with only a towel around my waist because I didn't have anything to wear. I should've thought about that before I showered but I didn't want to stay in those clothes after what happened. They left an empty feeling on my body. A feeling that reminded me to much of how I was before. It left me feeling dirty, especially since Ba Wei left right after. It was like a switch had ben flipped right after I orgasmed. He was cold. Colder than he usually was.

I sat down on the couch and leaned my head back and looked at the ceiling. I sighed and ran a hand through my wet hair. As I looked at the ceiling I heard the door open. I lifted my head immediately Ba Weis eyes met mine. To my surprise he shifted his eyes first. I followed his gaze and noticed that his eyes were scanning my body.

"Like what you see," I asked smirking?

His eyes snapped back to mine, "yeah I do." My face turned beat red when I registered what he said. "Why is your face so red?"

I didn't say anything and just looked down at the floor. I heard Ba Wei laugh and I heard the door shut. I looked up at Ba Wei and noticed that there was a bag in his hand.

"What's that?"

"What's what," he asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"The bag."

He sat the bag on the counter, "oh I went and got something to eat." So I didn't run him off after all.

"Oh..."

"Yeah I just went and got some cup ramen since it's so late."

"That's what took you so long."

"Yeah sorry. I thought you would be hungry after....well you know."

"Yeah," I said awkwardly. I looked down at my rather bare frame and looked over at Ba Wei. "Hey."

He looked up from the bag he was going through, "what?"

"Can you maybe give me some clothes?"

Ba Wei looked me up and down and a small smirk appeared on his face. He stopped messing with the bag and started walking towards me.

"Yeah. I meant to get you some before I left." He walked into a room right behind the couch. I listened to him rustle though something before he walked out and tossed some pants over to me. "These should fit you. It's the only small pair I have here."

"Small?"

"Yeah. Small. You're tiny. All of my clothes would hang off you."

I stood up off the couch and slipped into the pants, "you don't have to rub it in."

"I'm not rubbing anything in," he said laughing. "I did rub something off though."

I couldn't help but laugh, "fuck you."

"I'd rather fuck you."

I looked over at him in pure shock. Did he really just say that? He can't mean it...right?

"Don't be ridiculous."

He didn't say anything and just finished getting all the ramen out. I walked over to the counter and leaned against it. I was rather close to Ba Wei. So close in fact that I could smell what was left of his cologne. It was nice to smell something other than the alcohol from before.

"What are you looking at?"

"You. What else?"

Ba Weis eyes met mine, "your flirting is terrible."

" I'm not even flirting," I said laughing.

"Sure you're not." Ba Wei picked up one of the ramen bowls and turned around towards the sink. As much as I tried to not look at his ass my eyes still went there. Don't be inappropriate.

Even though I told that to myself my mind still went to a dirty place. Without thinking I pushed off the counter and walked up behind him. Ba Wei looked over his shoulder.

"How do you like your ramen?"

I didn't say anything and wrapped my arms around his waist. Ba Weis body stiffened and turned his head towards me.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Why are your arms around me if you're not doing anything."

"I just....want to touch you," I said slowly. I expected Ba Wei to say something but he didn't. He just continued to prep the ramen.

"You're gonna have to let me go for me to make the ramen."

I sighed and let my hands fall from around him. Ba Wei walked over to the microwave and put the bowl in. He turned around towards me and a smirk spread across his lips.

"Why are you pouting."

"I'm not pouting." Ba Wei walked up to me and pressed his lips to mine.

"You know you can't lie to me."