Chapter 4: The Flaws In Us?

Kai

"What time is it?" I asked one of the people in the meeting room. Everything inside the meeting room was just so bright that I can't tell what time it was. With how fuzzy my eyes were now after endless of this discussion that turns out considerably better than I expected, it was hard for me to look at the wall clock clearly.

One of the people in the room looked at me speechless, then looking at her watch as quick as she could before answering me. "Uh... 5.40 p.m. Mr. Everest," She answered which was enough for me to be very frustrated at the moment.

"Shit! Okay... um... do we have any other things to add?" I asked quickly. The sounds of clocks ticking were getting louder in my ears that I can't seem to hear any other thing that they said.

"Well, there is one thing on this list but if we want to take a brea-,"

"Okay! That would do. Now, everyone...scram!" Everyone stands up and immediately walks out of the meeting room. While they were doing so, I fished out my phone to give a quick text to Stan to tell him that I was going to be a 'bit' late.

After that, I stormed out of the meeting room like my legs was made of wind. Everyone else who was on their way back home stares at me like I was a mad man running away from an apocalypse and all I could think regarding from their gaze was nothing but the stare Stan would give me if I was late for this.

I can't be late. I can't be late. I can't be late.

When I got back to my office, my feet rushed to get to the desk and gather all of my stuff from my wallet, my car key to anything essential that I need to bring back home especially work. I was brimming in pools of sweats and there was nothing cool enough that can dry them off quickly. Maybe I should have been aware of the time back then.

"K- Woah! Man, where are you going in such a hurry," Hayes spoke, entering my office with his hands in his pockets.

I had no time to look at him as I scan the desk to figure out anything else that I need to bring before I get out of here. "There's no time to chat Hayes. I am in the full speed of getting out of here and getting to a date that I promised," I replied. As there was nothing left that I need to bring back home, I went towards the door and leave but not before Hayes stopped me.

"Hey, hey. Slow down... it's not like your boyfriend wouldn't understand you're late,"

I gritted my teeth. "I can't slow down. If I ruined this, I'll be dead by tomorrow if not tonight,"

By the time I went to walk away again, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back towards me. "If he doesn't understand you're late, then he's not really a good boyfriend," My mouth gape open to hearing such words coming from him. What is he talking about? That Stan is not a good boyfriend. Bullshit, Stan has been taking care of me more than anyone else.

"You don't know what you're talking about. Now, let me go," I yanked my hand out of his grasp forcefully - telling him that he was messing with the wrong person. Not wanting to hear another crap coming from him, I rushed out of the place and went as quick as I could to the lobby. Everyone was asking me 'what's with the rush' and some even cheered for me to go faster or some would I assumed that I have a wife and that she was in labour. These people should mind their own business for god's sake.

By the time I reach my car, I got inside immediately and start the engine in one swift motion. The way it roared to life startled the other workers that were getting in theirs. In the act of putting my seatbelt on, I received a message from Stan and my hand trembles from getting the phone out.

"K,"

Oh, no... He's mad.

"Ah, shit. You have got to be prepared for the cold eyes, Kai," I reminded myself as I drove out of the parking lot and went straight to the restaurant that we agreed on for the date. While I was driving there at the limit speed, my eyes would go back and forth between the road and to the car clock. The way it didn't produce that annoying ticking sound was good enough but in my head, a minded clock was sounding very constantly like a blaring alarm. Therefore, all I could do was mutter strings of profanities from shit to fuck to crap and to nonsense words that I come up with.

What should I do? What was I going to do now?

I can't just say sorry now, can I?

Exhaling breaths of tiredness and regret, I continue to drive to the restaurant with a hope that everything can be solved by its own. There wasn't much to do but be there and try to make amends with him and try to show him that I was late for a reason. I have no intentions of being late, and things just couldn't be undone.

Henceforth, as I arrived there at the luxurious restaurant - the time was already six twenty, and I pray to God that he wasn't too angry at me. My gut was telling me that every time I walk closer to that restaurant, something bad would happen. I hate to think of that and I don't want to. With slow steps to the greeter, I said my reservations slowly and reluctantly to him. He would glance at me from the board in his hand and back to me - throwing daggers inside my eyes like he knows something. My worst fear was just starting, and it grows more when he guides me to the table where Stan sat.

Nearing and nearing... I could see him from afar. The way his body was always on my eyes, and it would make me look down to my hands - fiddling and thinking about what I wanted to say.

To a distance where I was two feet away behind the raven-haired man, and when I examined his slouching body that sunk down on his seat while he sipping his drink - my heart broke into in cracks to see him waiting for me so long all by himself. The aura that came from his radiating body heat just entails me with disappointment. What have I done?

Shortly, I went to the seat in front of him and sat down with a worrying feeling. He looks up from his drink and stares at me lifelessly. The way his eyes doesn't sparkle anymore was a sight that I wasn't used to. It's like all the emotions he felt had just been sucked out of him as he waited and waited for me to come. Then he would look down as if looking at me makes him hate me little by little. I winced in terror.

"I-I'm sorry I was late. Um... have you ordered?" I started, flipping through the menu book that the waiter had given me.

He doesn't respond to my question and taps the glass that was in his hand. When I look up to see what he was doing, he was talking to the waiter. The waiter glances at me and I started being confused about what they were both talking about. Soon after he left, Stan turns to me with the same expression. I hated that mask on him. It wasn't the Stan that I had come to know and love. It made me want to cry of fear of why he was acting this way.

"We need to talk," He spoke, ignoring my question earlier.

I blinked my eyes. "Y-yeah, sure. Let's talk... what do you want to talk about," My weak smile showed even the worry and tiredness covered me like a tattoo.

"Let's break up,"

I stretched my eyes as wide as I can hearing his words. W-what? He can't be. This isn't right. W-why? Please... he can't... I can't...

"Are you serious? I was just late... it can't be that-," I respond but was soon to be cut off by him. "The truth is... we've been so busy with work lately... and it's hard to reach out for each other," He paused, making my heart beat so fast that it felt like a heart attack.

"We barely even talk to each other anymore every time we see each other. Every time we're in the car... at home...," He trails off, looking down to the white plate that reflects his face beautifully. "We haven't had sex for a long time... stopped talking about our feelings...," He continued, making me clench my fist under the table for support. I wanted to say something, but I can't. I can't even say something to reject the breakup. My two hands were sweaty and shivering anxiously that I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep - trying to feel that all of this was just a nightmare. I feel like I want to faint.

"Perhaps this was the end of us," He said before standing up. I stare at him with a frown. My voice was muted, my body was frosted and my head was throbbing with impalement. "I'm... going to go now and take my stuff out from home. You haven't eaten yet so just stay and eat, I already told the waiter that I'll pay for everything,"

He was about to leave the table and never come back, he was going to leave the house and never return from war, and he was leaving me - surrendering himself from being a part of my world again.

"Is it me?" I uttered, breaking the silence I had - my voice trembling and my eyes glossy.

He looks at me for a while before turning away. "Just... forget about me and move on," He answered, steering away from answering the question. The way he said to forget about him had my heart sunk down into pits of sorrow yet there was no cure to being happy again. The way he said to me to just move on was trying to live my days ignoring the amazingly astonishing, vivid, beautiful and courageous love story that I have gone through - like everything we have done was wasteful, was like planting a tree together that would soon, in the end, be chopped off.

It was physically and mentally harrowing.

With that, he left me. He left me to myself as I sat there staring at his figure walking away and disappearing from my eyes. All those years of loving him, all those years of waiting to get back with him... all those hardships, all of those... it meant like nothing ever happened now.

And this is it. The outcome that I still haven't tried to process. The outcome that I never expected and what I assumed would be deserving of me was... truly agonizing, and it made me lost my appetite there and there. I couldn't even look at the waiter as he comes back to ask if I have ordered.

What I just wanted to do was leave as well and grieve for someone that was still alive. Crying to the point I can get past that feeling of weeping soon. And realize that it was true that the flaws in us were just too strong to let us be together anymore...

- - -

Oh, man...