Chapter 9: "Seventeen Stan" (III).

Kai

After I have taken a pillow and a blanket to my office, my body went directly to the couch that was in front of my working desk. I laid there on the couch knowing well enough it wouldn't be comfortable but what was I going to do? Sleep at the table?

I knew my back would hurt a ton in the morning when I woke up, but I just got to live with it then. Things have just been so constantly aching and here I am, lying with a thought that goes around my head every time.

Just how long is it going to be like this?

"Kai? Are you sleeping?" his voice came, opening my eyes once back more to look at him.

He stands in front of me with a pillow and a blanket in his arms. What was he doing? "Stan?"

"Why are you here? I told you to sleep on the bed," I continued, watching as he pushes the table further away from the couch and began lying there on the furry carpet acting like he didn't hear my question. "I'll sleep here,"

And I asked why? Why was he doing this? I just want to sleep peacefully tonight and woke up early tomorrow and here he is who would soon to be filled with his chattering and question that would soon interrupt my sleep.

"I won't be noisy...," I answered, in such a way that he had heard my thoughts. Did I speak out that out loud? "I just want to hold your hand...," He continued, having me stare at him stunned by his neediness. The movement of his hand reaching towards my hand had me felt butterflies tickling my insides feverishly.

"Please?" He added, adding the length to my widen eyes. He... looked sad... what's wrong?

"I'm actually terrified earlier...," He began, his eyes drooping with a hint of sadness as he recalled what happened earlier. "I knew that right at that moment, I was nowhere a place I recognized. Everyone was different... different gadgets in their hand... different style of clothes. Even when compared, I just knew that things were different, and it had me felt so lost in what I would do. I could have gone astray. But when I saw you at the park, I knew - I felt... everything would be fine once you're here next to me,"

Those words he said made me look at him with just fear as well when I thought what would happen if I didn't come and get him. If he didn't remember my phone number... it would be arduous for me to watch if he strays around day and night trying to find where he would go.

What is going on with me? Earlier I pushed him away and now...

"Thanks for coming to get me... you're absolutely the best boyfriend," He smiled, leaning onto his pillow with his hand on the couch - waiting for me to hold it. I smile back at him. I always loved the way he expresses himself to me. It was just so open and just hearing it makes me have this weird feeling inside that I need to do what he wanted.

So without hesitation, my hand reach forward to grab his hand slowly and delicately. When our touched, it brings me back memories of how touching Stan felt like. I missed him... I missed him so much. Yet here touching his younger self felt like it was temporary - saddening me even more.

"Goodnight...,"

-

When daylight came, I was surprised to not feel anything that was hurting on my back. I woke up with a dream of meeting Stan when we were younger - with just how much buoyant we had with each other. The teasing... the laughter... it made me woke up with a smile but then frowns when I realized it was all a dream of the past.

I glance towards where Stan was sleeping peacefully. But then my eyes were stunned when I saw his hand was clenching onto mine tightly. He didn't even let go of my hand when he's asleep. Did he sleep like this all night?

Rubbing my eyes, I went to release my hand from his grasp. As I did that, he instantly woke up - sitting up quickly with his hand still clutching onto mine like he was afraid I would go and leave him. I would never leave him. I was just preparing to go to work.

Today was Monday, and it was the day that I needed to go back to work and start living my life 'normally' - expecting that it would go to normal when I had a young Seventeen Stan in the house. With his insurmountable feelings of love still, I can't just live normally.

"Where are you going?" He asked, letting go of my hand when he saw that he was grabbing it tightly.

I hate to explain this to him... but I have to. "Work... it's Monday,"

"You have work?" He questioned, lips sinking down.

"Yeah... what do you expect? I'm a grown man and I need to work to earn money," answering the boy as I got up from the couch and went quickly to the bathroom to get a morning shower before work. But then paused when he called my name again.

"What should I do when you at work?"

"Um...," I never really thought about that.

"Do I just stay at home?"

Looking around, I tried to think about what he could do when I'm at work. Yet nothing came to mind and when I saw the time saying that I had thirty minutes left to get ready and go to work. I left his question unanswered while I just go to the bathroom hurriedly. "I'll... figure it out. Just continue sleeping or whatever. Sorry, I need to get a hurry. Time's running late for me,"

He stares at me confusingly. "Huh??!"

Just like that, I went away in the bedroom to get ready while thinking of what Stan can do while I'm at work. I can't just leave him here, right? Please, brain! Give me something - an idea to tell him what he needed to do while I'm away for the day.

I tried calling for the present Stan again and still - the voice of the operator came into my ear and from there, I just don't know what to do anymore. Why is he not answering my calls? Is he really that mad at me that answering my calls would be a huge deal? I was here taking care of his younger self and he... he just acted so ignorantly.

In the end, I just opted that Seventeen Stan should just stay at home all day long. It was the worst best option that I had in my mind because I can't have him go outside on his own. He doesn't even know the roads... the path... what if he got kidnapped or got mugged by someone dangerous.

If he's dead... then present Stan would...

Does it work like that?

Shit... I don't really know. It's like my knowledge about physics isn't going anywhere near that.

"Kai? Are you off to work already? I thought you would say what I would do while you're at work?" asked the raven-haired teenage boy while I grab my keys from the keyholder.

I looked towards him with a guilty smile. "Just stay at home and be a good boy, okay? Just do whatever you want at home - there're tons of food in the fridge," I spoke, walking towards the door and get a start to the company.

"Kai....," He gloomed, frowning at me as I went out. "I'll be back soon!" I reassured, rushing towards my car and hoping with a big heart that he doesn't get upset that I left him like that.

-

Why won't Stan answer my calls? I have been calling for countless times and all I get was the annoying sound of the operator's voice. Could it be that he had some problems too? Or was it just that he was avoiding me to the extent of not answering me?

Eventually, I just texted him - thinking it could be the only way he would notice my urgent calling. Maybe... or maybe not.

Truthfully, I didn't know what I was going to do anymore. It's not like I could build a time machine out of scratch like some magic. It was more complicated than I ever thought it was and once I saw so many journals and research about the topic - I just went insane and give up. Furthermore, it was not something I could figure out that fast... it needs time... hell, a lot of time.

Not fully aware of my surroundings, one of my colleagues came into my office, with Hayes standing beside her nervously. I haven't talked to him a lot since what had happened between us and after that one month break. But all I could see from his expression was that he was guilty of something.

"Hey Kai, the team is going to celebrate launching the new product that we discussed. You should be there, you helped us the most," said the woman whose name I believed was Amber. They launch the product already? Well, that was fast. I wanted to go but knowing Seventeen Stan was at home probably sulking at me, I figure not.

"Um... I'll skip. I have my cousin's cat that I need to babysit," I smile softly, lying through my teeth but nonetheless, it didn't feel like it was a bad thing. "Oh wow! Alright then, enjoy your time with the furry thing!. Also, take some pictures for me! I want to see the adorableness too!" She said, leaving me with Hayes following behind her, his head hung low.

Speaking of cats... Bubby...

Bubby has been living with my parents' house and the cat just doesn't want to follow me anymore but follow my mom and dad. If I did have him at my house... I would have gone through that one month with much little ease. I would talk to him and cry in front of him but since he's being a sap for my parents... that would not have been able for me to do.

Consequently, as time passed by, I continued my work until it was time to go home. When I walk my way towards the lobby, I could see the others going on together for the celebration. It's not that I wanted to go because even if Seventeen Stan wasn't at home, I wouldn't even go likewise. I presumed that I was still the same me as when I entered college because going out wasn't on my priority at that moment.

With a not so guilty heart, I continue my walk to my car and get back home as soon as I can. While on my way towards home, I made sure to buy some take out dinner for Stan and I, because something tells me the boy would just be eating snacks and instant noodles. Ha... he couldn't even cook for himself at that age... what could I possibly do?

"I'm home~," I murmured, entering the house to hear screaming silence.

Eh? Where was he?

Walking around the house, I went to search for the seventeen-year-old like he was a toddler playing hide-and-seek with me. Everything in the house looks clean and untouched, and not so much trash was evident to my eyes after he had eaten those snacks.

Just as I entered my office to put down my briefcase, I saw him. Lying down on the couch with the bed's blanket all covered upon him - hiding his face but I knew that he wasn't asleep. I saw clearly that his eyes were open and that he wore a grouchy face.

As I thought... he's upset.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to be dumb.

He huffed. "Being an angry caterpillar,"

I smiled mentally at his words. He would be so cute when's upset. "So you just stayed home all day?" I continued to which he got up with a harsh expression. "Of course!! You were the one telling me to do so!!" He snapped, his hands clenching onto the soft blanket.

"Sorry...," I chuckled inside. "So... anything fun and important happened today?"

"Nothing was fun or important! Aside from getting myself to read a book at the end which was so boring because I don't know how to work that stupid futuristic coffee machine!" He replied angrily, rubbing his hair severely.

Smiling weakly, I went on to sat on the floor - leaning my head on his thigh. "Cut me some slack... I'm taking the day off tomorrow," I offered. The angry and upset face he wore diminish immediately from his face, his face showed growing happiness.

"Really?" He claimed. I nod my head, rubbing it onto his thigh. "Yeah... I'll stay with you all day tomorrow and we'll go out if you want to," I returned, earning a lopsided smile from him.

"Alright, I forgive you,"

He was just so easy to pleased...

We went on talking about things that he wanted to do tomorrow. From going to the cinemas to going to eat a place that would have those exquisite cuisines that would cost me a tonne. Since when he was this spoiled? It was just different from how I see him when I was his age because, at that time, all I see what Stan all mysterious... shy... rebellious... gets what he wants... stubborn... but here in front of my twenty-five-year-old self, all I see is a needy lover.

Later, we ultimately went to sleep in the bedroom this time. He slept on the bed while I slept on the floor with a soft thin mattress underneath my body. The way it felt so thin under me made me irked in the upcoming back pain.

"Can't we just sleep together?"

"No,"

He hummed, admit defeat after I told him many times that I won't sleep with him. "Kai... am I troubling to you?" He started again, his eyes gaze at me as he lay on his side.

"You're worried about that?" I returned, astonished that he was worried about that instead of how he would get back. "Of course! I'm worried that you would hate me for this,"

I sighed, how can I hate Seventeen you. "I don't hate you... although to answer your question then yes, you are troubling me a lot,"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously,"

He cooed, pouting after realizing that part of his presence here. "But I don't want to burden you... I love you... I can't make you feel heavy because of me... Man... I hope I can go back soon," Those utterances made me glance at him as he slowly drifting into slumber. He loved me...

"Yeah...," I said closing my eyes - not wanting to think if he ever goes back. What about me? I would have to go back to what I initially wanted to do. Moving on... Why was it so hard for me to just understand it? Seventeen him being here just feels like a reminder that he still loves me. If only... he was a bad person... someone I hate... then maybe - maybe I could move past it easily.

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