If You Love Me: Chapter 43

“Can you pass me the syrup, please?” Fee asks.

“Absolutely. Whipped cream, too, right?” I pass her both.

“Oh, and the blueberries.” Fee reaches across the table for them. She’s in much better form this morning.

“Can I have more bacon?” Callie asks.

“Can I have more bacon, please?” Lexi adds another slice to her plate.

I set my knife and fork down. “Okay, now that we’re all here, Lexi and I wanted to let you know that we’re starting family therapy next week.”

Lexi and I discussed it this morning, and she agreed that it’s something the girls need. We all do. These girls are grieving the loss of their parents, and they need a sounding board who can help them deal with their feelings and all the changes they’re managing. And I need to learn not to overcompensate.

“Therapy?” Fee looks nervous.

“We’re an unconventional family, and we all need a safe place to talk about our feelings. We’ll see one therapist together, all four of us, and then if you girls want to talk to someone on your own, we can do that too,” Lexi explains.

“I’m sure Peggy’s therapist would be happy to take you girls on,” I add.

“Aurora’s in therapy?” Fee seems shocked.

“She has been since she was six. She started with art therapy and progressed. She goes every other month now, but for a while she went weekly.”

“Was there something wrong with her?” Callie asks.

“Nope. She just needed someone to talk to when she was having a hard time with her feelings and didn’t know what to do with them. I see one, too. I started going once a month this year because I’m retiring, and I have some feelings about that.” I want therapy to be normalized for them, like it is for Peggy.

“Okay. If Peggy can handle therapy so can I,” Fee says decisively.

“Can I try art therapy?” Callie asks.

“Sure. We can give that a shot.” Lexi squeezes my hand.

“Great. I’m glad we’re all on board.” I look to Lexi, and she smiles, giving me the go ahead. “Now that you girls are moved in, Lexi and I thought it would be a good idea if we came up with a list of house rules.”

“House rules?” Callie parrots.

“Yup. I think it’s important, now that we’re the Hammerstein-Forrester clan, that we have our own set of rules.”

“We get to help make them?” Fee asks skeptically.

“We’re a democracy, so we should all get a say,” Lexi confirms.

“Like if the dishwasher isn’t running, put your dishes in it instead of leaving them in the sink.” Fee gives her sister a look.

“Sometimes I’m in a hurry,” Callie says defensively, while grinning.

“The kitchen can have its own set of rules,” Lexi clarifies, “which are different from our family rules. So what are the things we want to make sure we always do or don’t do when it comes to respecting each other?”

“Never go to bed angry?” Fee asks.

“I love that one. Peggy and I had the same rule when she was growing up.” I write it at the top of the list.

“Okay, Callie, your turn,” Lexi says.

“Be kind and use kind words.”

“That’s a great one,” Lexi says.

“I didn’t make it up. It’s a rule in my class.” Callie drags her bacon through her maple syrup. I’m pretty sure she learned that from Peggy.

“Definitely a great class rule and house rule.” I add it to the list.

“Is it Lexi’s turn?” Callie asks.

“It sure is.” This feels good, like we’re part of a new team, working together to figure things out.

“Be accountable. That means when we do something wrong, we own our mistake and try not to do it again,” Lexi explains.

“It’s okay to make mistakes, though. We’re all human,” I add. “But when we say we’re sorry, we should always mean it.”

“Those are rules three and four, right?” Fee pops a blueberry into her mouth.

“Yup. Your turn again, Fee.” I write down rules three and four.

“Um…” She taps her lip. “How about always be honest with each other?”

“Love that one.” I jot it down.

Callie bounces in her chair. “Oh! Never say it’s too hard or I quit!”

“You sound like a true goalie.” I wink.

“It’s Lexi’s turn again,” Fee says.

“We always keep our word, to ourselves and to others,” Lexi adds.

I dip my chin in agreement. “It’s okay to fail, as long as we learn and try again. Okay, Fee and Callie, last two rules, what should they be?”

“Always have fun!” Callie shouts.

“Yes to that. I love it. Fee, what’s rule ten?”

“Listen to each other?” she asks.

“That’s perfect. I think we have a great list.” I read them over, before I ask, “Are we missing anything?”

“I think it’s good,” Callie says.

“I like it,” Fee agrees.

“Me three.” Lexi smiles.

“It’s unanimous, then. I’ll get Peggy to help me turn it into a poster.”

“I could do that! I’m good at graphics,” Fee offers.

I grin, it’s amazing to be surrounded by so much love. “Even better.”

We finish breakfast, and the girls help clear the table before they go to their rooms. Lexi wraps her arms around my waist. “I adore you.”

I stroke her cheek. “And I adore you.”

“Thank you for making them feel heard.”

“We’re a family. Families make decisions together.” I kiss her softly, marveling at how lucky I am to have found Lexi, and that against all odds we came back to each other when we needed each other the most.

“How do you always know what to do and say?” she whispers.

“I don’t. I just know that the first time around, I didn’t have a partner to do any of this with. And this time I do. So I want us to make decisions as a unit, and the best way to do that is to ensure everyone has a voice.”

She fingers the hair at the nape of my neck. “I’m a little obsessed with how incredible you are.”

I pull her tighter against me. “I’m a little obsessed with everything about you.”

“Kiss me, please.” She tips her chin up, and I drop my head, covering her mouth with mine.

“Oh. Ew. No. New rule! No making out anywhere that isn’t behind a closed door!” Fee groans. “I’ll be in my room, rocking in the corner, if you’re looking for me!”

“Add it to the list,” I call over my shoulder.