Chapter 4

DIANA

Regret filled me the instant the stinging remark slithered off my tongue. However, that wouldn’t make me apologize. A twisted pride knotted like a spider’s web throughout my ribs.

Each step of the way, I ensured our distance. Brittle tension followed, connecting us despite the gap. Guilt pricked at the back of my neck as awkward seconds passed.

Levi looked up to my father. In some ways, I could see where Levi had mimicked his style.

A decade ago, he was one of my fans when I was a rising teen star. That didn’t change my feelings about our collaboration.

Levi’s admiration of my family’s musical history wouldn’t sway me in his favor. One glance at the healing gash on his nose reminded me of who and what he was—a swaggering, arrogant rock star.

Levi took it in stride. He wanted to say more. I read it in the softness around his eyes.

Thanks to my constant scowl, he refrained from doing so. After changing the subject, he gave me a brief tour of the studio downstairs.

A side door opened into a dimly lit control room. Low blue lights edging the ceiling and the matte black walls gave the room a darkly comforting energy.

A low, tufted, brown leather couch sat under massive canvases of additional posters on the left wall. Next to the couch, I noticed a drink bar with a mini fridge containing various drinks and a luxury coffee maker on top that I instantly envied.

A square stone coffee table divided the center of the space. To the right, I found digital equipment.

Panels of recording devices, wide monitors, microphones, and speakers that were larger than my head. On the back wall, I obsessed over the dozen guitars hanging there.

A range of Ibanez, Fender, and Gibson in a span of colors with varying types of classical, acoustic, and electric. Strolling into the room to gape at the guitars, I noticed a glass window behind the three monitors giving a peek into the recording room.

I peered through the glass and my jaw gradually dropped as I admired each painfully expensive instrument within. I nearly swooned at the glittering red drum set and grand piano staring back at me.

It whispered at me, beckoning me to sit and put my hands on the keys and play. My finger twitched at my side, excited at the thought.

A spark of light I hadn’t felt in months winked behind my ribs. The smallest flare of a desire to create reawakened in the inspiring space.

Levi broke me out of my trance before my dreams got carried away.

“You have access to the entire first floor here. The studio and all the instruments.”

He rubbed the back of his neck when I blinked at him. “Anything you need to write, really.”

“How come I’ve never heard of this studio before? It’s nice,” I grudgingly admitted.

Levi’s eyes sparkled at the compliment. “That’s because it’s my personal studio.”

“Oh. What’s upstairs?” I shouldn’t have asked.

“That’s my personal room up there, and the rule is you have to be naked to get in.”

The wicked smile kicking up his mouth caused my veins to pulse under my skin. I didn’t want to have a physical reaction to him.

My anger snapped back, stronger than my respect for his workspace. A haughty scoff jumped past my lips.

“God, you’re just like every other annoying rock star, aren’t you? I bet all you want to do is fuck bitches and do drugs.”

“That’s not a very nice assumption. You don’t know me,” Levi said.

Displeasure darkened his tone and the brutal scar over his nose made him appear menacing.

Every visceral ounce of my agitation bubbled up and bowled over me. The tidal wave propelled over me, spurred on by a past wound I’d never fully recovered from.

“Am I even safe here alone with you? Men like you take advantage of women when they’re alone, and no one would ever believe me if I said anything against you. You’d get away with it and I’d—”

No matter how deeply I gasped, air wouldn’t fill my lungs. They expanded yet remained empty.

Ice shards raced in my blood, coursing faster because of my drumming heart. My skin restricted my muscles, tightening and squeezing until the room blurred.

“Diana, breathe. What’s wrong?”

Firm hands grasped my shoulders. Memories I’d fought for years to bury reared up when he grabbed me.

Ugly, monstrous memories that roared and mocked me. Agony and fear skittered through my bones, threatening to drag me into the pit of despair growing beneath my feet.

I swayed unsteadily due to the lack of air.

“Shit,” Levi cursed.

I didn’t notice him guiding me back until my bottom landed on the solid leather couch. As soon as I went down, he backed away, raising his hands in the air.

“I’m not touching you. See, you’re okay,” he said.

His back met the chair in front of the control panels. The squeak of leather and clatter of its wheels over the floor when he bumped the chair helped me focus on my surroundings once again.

I took one breath at a time, until the blurred edges of my vision cleared. Stiff and trembling, I tipped my head up to Levi across the room.

The stone table separating us might as well have been a wall. He remained frozen with his hands in the air. The distress and pity in his eyes punched me in the gut.

Levi knew me, and he remembered my father. That meant he would have seen the news when my father died, and he’d remember the articles that came after.

Half the world might never forget the incident that ruined my life and made me leave the industry. One drunken rock star, high and out of his mind.

A man my father trusted more than anything. My father caught the bastard cornering me.

His bandmate didn’t get far before Dad arrived at the studio and the following argument turned into a fight that killed him.

Famed musician Devan Johnson was shot by his own bandmate while protecting his teenage daughter.

It wasn’t the attempt on me that scarred my soul and mind; it was the aftermath.

The trauma of seeing a man I’d grown up around go into a crazed state and shoot my father had haunted me for the past ten years.

Devan Johnson was buried, and his name went into the Hall of Fame. The former bandmate went to prison.

That year, I’d stopped singing entirely and vowed I never would again. Only after a year of therapy and convincing from Damien did I consider dipping my toes back into that world.

I agreed to take work, but only under a false name. I maintained anonymity and avoided the world to preserve my sanity.

It had been a mistake to leave the safety of writing as a faceless lyricist. Damien had assumed enough time had passed that I could collaborate with an artist in person again, but he was wrong.

I was a naïve fool for agreeing to this.

“I shouldn’t be here.”

I lurched to my feet.

Levi reacted instantly when I rushed for the exit. He stopped in front of me, blocking the door. His chest heaved, and his voice dipped as he spoke.

“I’m not like him, Diana. I’d never hurt you.”

“I can’t do this.” I swallowed the apology that danced on the tip of my tongue. “The man that killed my father is on that poster you have so proudly displayed. I’ve heard enough about you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re just like them.”

“I won’t lay a hand on you, Diana,” he insisted.

~Unless you want me to.~

The unspoken promise hung in the air between us.

Part of me wanted to believe him, but the heavy chains of my past kept me confined—alone.

It didn’t matter.

I brushed past Levi’s mountainous frame. A whiff of his alluring, masculine scent tantalized my nose. I closed my eyes and grabbed the door handle.

“Please don’t project someone else onto me.”

His soft plea halted me.

When I paused, he continued, “Whatever rumors you’ve heard, whatever you assume about me, know that I’m nothing like him. You don’t know how honored I’d be to work with you. I truly admire your work.”

I risked a glance over my shoulder. With all the thoughts running through my head, nothing prepared me for the genuine compassion in his eyes.

“You’re brilliant,” he exhaled, utterly awestruck.

Muddled thoughts warred in my mind. A pounding on my skull after the near panic attack influenced me to twist the doorknob. Yet I couldn’t see past the sincere depth in his brown eyes and his unashamed need for my help.

“I’ll think about it.” That’s the only consideration I provided before vanishing through the door.

Levi didn’t follow.

In the lobby, I hesitated in front of the poster again. Dad appeared so happy in that picture. I still couldn’t believe I’d never seen it before.

Engulfed in the flames of the photograph, the monster at the back of the band glared back like a fiendish creature.

“I hope you burn in hell,” I hissed. Then I stormed out of the building.