40 ⋆ Goodbye

─── ･｡•̩̩͙˚｡✧: *.☽ .* :✧•̩̩͙･ﾟ｡───

Jungkook's POV

The wind was cold tonight. I stuck my hand out just a little, fanning my fingers in order to catch the cold breeze on the tips. The pale white flowers blew gently in the air, reflecting the light of the rising moon as the soft light of scattered lanterns illuminated the barren trees around me.

Tears fell gently from my eyes, quietly streaming down my face. I could only watch with stifled emotion as they slowly lowered the opened casket into the ground, Jimin's pale and still body resting peacefully inside.

His lips were still pink and his cheeks were still flushed. I let out some mutation of a gasp and a sob, tearing my eyes quickly away as a warm hand wrapped its way around my shoulder, tears filling her eyes too as my mother comforted me quietly.

I quickly sniffed and looked back at him as he descended lower and lower. His floppy black hair blew gently in the breeze, and something compelled me to hop into the grave with him.

My mother managed to tighten her hand on my shoulder as I took a hasty step forward. "Let him go, Jungkook. That's the best you can do." She whispered.

I looked at her miserably, knowing she had gone through this too, but she had gotten so much time with my father - hundreds of years. And I only had gotten a few months. The thought made me pull away from her grasp as I approached the near edge of his deep grave.

I couldn't bear to see him go up in flames, as what the werewolf's traditional funeral does. He deserved to be buried as humans did. He deserved normal. Unlike this life I forced him into.

I stared down at him, my hands shaking restlessly as my eyes locked onto his closed eyelids. My eyes scanned for any sign of movement, anything at all, but Jimin was still and dead. I slowly reached up and touched my neck, grazing over his mark, something I had laughed at when I received it. I shouldn't have laughed. I got onto my knees, in a kneeling down position, desperately trying to get as close to him as possible.

Pink lips, black hair, oiled eyelids, small nose, chubby cheeks. He looked... him. My hand reached up and furiously wiped away tears as my other hand clutched a white rose, not yet ready to throw it into the pit of sorrow.

Jimin was adorned in white flowers all around him. Moon lilies, white roses, wisteria, hydrangeas, magnolias. His body was draped with a white satin sheet and white candles, which would soon extinguish from lack of oxygen. They were all scattered around him as well. He looked peaceful, and as beautiful as the first day I met him.

"I love you. I will never stop loving you. You have made me the happiest man in the world and I will miss you dearly every day. From when the sun rises to when the moon falls, I will still be loving you. You are my whole world, and I will never let you go. You are my body, my heart, and my soul. Every single day I will hold you as close to me as I had every day you lived beside me. I will love you for eternity, and then some." I dropped the rose into the grave.

I fell backwards, bringing my knees up beside me to rest my elbows on as my hands enveloped my face in an attempt to muffle my sobs and stall my tears. The sound of dirt hitting the top of his casket after the cover was placed on made me flinch.

A rattle of dirt, a crack of a rock, a puff of dust from it stacking. Everything filled my ears, making me jump with every shovel placed on top of him as he exited this life, exited this world, leaving me alone.

"Come back," I whimpered, running my hands through my hair and grabbing the strands, tugging the living hell out of them.

"Please... just come back to me." I watched as the last few shovels of dirt were placed on top of his grave, officially sealing him off from myself and the rest of the world - a place never to be disturbed by the light of day again.

Everyone left eventually, placing a sympathetic hand on my shoulder, but no one spoke a word.

I stayed until the moon was almost gone from the sky and my fingers were completely numb from the cold.

Still, my tears fell steadily, a never ending river. I could see my breath fogging in the air from how cold the temperature was, but I couldn't breathe from my nose as I had cried so hard that it was plugged.

The lanterns had run out of candle to burn through and the lilies began to reflect a pale light of the sun rising in the distance, yet still, I stayed beside him.

A white marble tombstone was placed as the head of his grave, his name etched out in black paint at the top. "Jimin Park. October 13th, 1995 - December 12th, 2021. You may be gone from my sight, but you are never gone from my heart. Loved, but never forgotten."

I looked down at my fingers, catching a glimpse of some skin coming off around the nail. I picked it as I looked up into the sky of dawn, looking at the beautifully mixed colors through watering eyes.

"When my sister died, my father said this poem to the sky to acknowledge her existence. Knowing you, I know you'd love to hear a poem, even though I think they're cheesy and lame. But... I love you. So I'll make an exception - just this once though," I warned with false humor, as if he was still here with me.

"There can be no goodbyes for us..." I trailed off, laughing to myself at how silly I thought this was, but I continued on, "There can be no goodbyes for us, it's too painful thus, our connection will live on, although you're gone. But one day, once the sadness goes away, I will hold you close, in the place where time afroze. Each moment 'til the day arrives, until my time is through, I'll miss you more than words can say and always think of you. I'll look for you among the stars and each dawn's pastel sky, and whisper words of love to you, but never say goodbye." I dropped my head low, looking at the moon lilies and littered of tiger flowers waving below me.

Slowly, I rose to my feet, staring at the pile of dirt which now held Jimin, and walked away. I was jealous of the earth because it now carried him. It would swallow him whole and hold him within it, forever; what I was supposed to do. But I continued walking, and didn't look back.

My mind was empty as I returned to our quiet, dark home - my quiet, dark home. I managed to climb the stairs to the bedroom, only to find it silent and dark too.

The bed was made up perfectly, the curtains were drawn back to reveal the rising sun, and the closet and bathroom doors were shut.

Quickly, I walked to the curtains and pulled them closed, instantly blocking out the sun from the room. I opened the bathroom door, hoping he might be in the shower, only to find it empty.

I opened the closet, the smell of his clothes hitting me in the face instantly. Carefully, I reached out and grabbed a hoodie, handling it with such caution, it could've been an ancient piece of art.

I gently climbed into bed, turning on my side to face the closet and the doorway, resting the hoodie under my head in order to get full effect of his smell. I fell asleep with my nose buried into the fabric.

"Jungkook!" His scream came from the darkness.

I was spinning, turning in circles trying to locate the sound.

"Jungkook!" Jimin yelled again, but the noise sounded as if it could have come from anywhere. I made a random guess and ran to the right, only meeting darkness around me. It was snowing, and I was weaving in and out of trees, only enough light to see three feet in front of me before hitting total darkness.

"Jimin, where are you!" I screamed bloody murder, frantic as I stopped and looking around, only to turn around and meet his thin, naked shivering body standing a few feet before me.

His eyes were red from crying and he was freezing as his thinner-looking limbs shook under the snowy sky. I went to take a step forward, but my feet were too heavy, and I couldn't move.

"What happened to me?" He whimpered, staring at me with his beautiful eyes.

"Nothing, honey, nothing. You're okay. Come here." I tried, hoping maybe my words would make him come to me. He stayed in place, shivering harder.

Suddenly, a stream of blood made its way down from his head, pooling around his feet. My eyes widened as he continued to cry.

"Why did I die, Jungkook? I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die!" He screamed. I sobbed miserably, stuck in my place, unable to do anything.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't save you! Please come home! I love you!" I wailed at the top of my lungs, realizing he was getting further and further away from me. I reached out, reaching, reaching, reaching for him. But he was gone.

"Jimin!" I screamed into the nothingness. Vague, but a softly heard, "I love you," carried through the wind, the sound of Jimin's words.

I woke with a jolt in a cold sweat, my eyes frantically looking around the dark room. He was nowhere, but I felt as if I had seen him clear as day. I had heard his words and seen him, but it was a dream, and I was left even lonelier.

Slowly, I rested my head back down against his sweatshirt on the pillow and took a deep breath, allowing his scent to calm me once more. It didn't work.

I sat up after trying to go back to sleep, and failing, and walked to the bathroom. I walked over to the sink and began to run some warm water, cupping my hands under the faucet and splashing it back up into my face.

I did this a few more times before finally shutting off the water and looking at myself in the mirror. My dead eyes stared back, but something suddenly caught my attention.

Jimin's mark had turned black on my neck.

─── ･｡•̩̩͙˚｡✧: *.☽ .* :✧•̩̩͙･ﾟ｡───