Chapter 177

177 Coward

Selma Payne’s POV:

I gently knocked on the door, and Aldrich’s voice came from behind. “Please let me be alone for a while. Thank you.”

“It’s me, Aldrich,” I said.

He was silent for a few seconds before he opened the door.

“Hello, I heard you canceled today’s training, so I came to ask what happened.” I pretended to be calm, but my evasive gaze and unnecessary actions had already completely betrayed me.

“You’re going on a mission. Why are you still at home? Are you only leaving at night?”

I tried to find a topic to talk about, but when I realized what I had said, I wanted to slap myself.

“I don’t mean anything else, it’s just that I don’t know what I’m talking about, so I’m so embarrassed now. Don’t you want to invite me in? It’s awkward to be standing at the door like this.”

I blurted out a bunch of words like a machine gun. Aldrich silently nodded and gestured for me to enter the room.

The last time we were in his room, we watched a movie together. This time, the atmosphere was very different. The soft sofa made it difficult for me to sit still. I didn’t even know where to place my hands and feet.

Aldrich finally said the first words to me today, “Do you want some tea? I’ll get the servant to bring it up.”

“No need!” I was so nervous that my voice changed. “I had tea at the palace. It was lemon green tea with three sugar cubes. Kara also told me not to eat it so sweet and that it would cause tooth decay. Gosh! What am I saying?”

Aldrich sat down opposite me like a silent mountain. I suddenly realized that when he was expressionless, he was a completely different person compared to the usual sweet little dog. His strong body gave people an unparalleled sense of oppression, and his calm gaze treated everyone as air.

We sat in silence.

I quietly observed Aldrich. His expression was empty, and I didn’t know what he was thinking. He was facing me, but I was sure his dilated pupils weren’t looking at me. I would have thought he had fallen asleep if he wasn’t blinking.

Someone had to break the ice.

I thought.

That was why I was here.

“Aldrich, we need to talk.” I thought about it again and said, “It’s about everything that happened in the past few days, about what happened in the Rocky Mountains.”

He didn’t answer me, so I could only bite the bullet and continue, “First, I have to apologize. I know what I said to you that day was too hurtful, but please believe that I didn’t mean to put status above our relationship. I was affected by negative emotions then, and I couldn’t control myself at all because I had just absorbed the giant pine tree formed by the demonic shard.

” I regretted it the moment I said those words. I should have apologized to you, but I hesitated. I was afraid, nervous, and a little embarrassed. I don’t know how to tell you. I felt that anything I said would be wrong. It would be too deliberate. At that time, I was a bit of a jerk and didn’t want to do those things that would ‘lose face’.

“You didn’t say a word on the plane. I wanted to find an opportunity to say something to you, but I missed it because of my hesitation. After returning to the palace, I had an ostricious mentality and didn’t want to face this matter. I pretended it didn’t exist, which caused the conflict between us to deepen.

“I don’t know why, but I somehow feel that you’re gradually forgiving me. Please don’t laugh at me for overthinking, but every time I look into your eyes, I can’t help but have this thought. People who hate me won’t look at me so gently. You’ve been giving me hints, but I’ve been avoiding them.

“To be honest, I’m a little afraid you’ll forgive me. It’s contradictory, right? But that’s the truth. Because your temper is just too good, you’re always forgiving me. Whether I made a mistake intentionally or unintentionally, it doesn’t matter to you. I like this feeling, but I also hate this feeling. I don’t want you to break your bottom line because of me. The reason is very selfish because I don’t want to take on this role of controlling people.

“You know what? I’ve even thought about breaking up these past few days, but yesterday, my parents told me that...”

“I’m not breaking up.”

Aldrich, who had been absent-minded the whole time, suddenly spoke up.

“No matter what, I won’t break up.”

My train of thought was interrupted, and I suddenly stammered, “No, listen to me first.”

“I won’t listen,” Aldrich said unyieldingly. “In any case, I won’t break up. No matter what.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his childish behavior. “I’m not breaking up. I’m just telling you my feelings.”

Aldrich was like a doll wound up with a spring, suddenly receiving a vital life force. He looked at me with a serious and stubborn expression.

“I only had that thought for a moment.” I looked into his eyes and said thoughtfully, “Only one second, but I quickly brushed it away.

“It’s because I love you, Aldrich. Love made me a coward, but it made me willing to take on all responsibilities. I don’t think our conflict has reached the point where we can end our love, and I can’t give up because of this small setback. If I do, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life and look down on myself forever.”