17- 🌟 (pt. 5)

(A/n: lol.. I've just found out that Hanbin is actually the same age as Jennie 😂 yet I clumsilly made Jennie call him oppa on the previous chapter.. Sorry.. I was clueless, I'm not actually keen of other K-pop idol group but Blackpink.. That's why... )

Jennie follows her with a matched pace, leaving Hanbin behind. Lisa is sobbing so hard that Jennie can see how much pain did she pinned in that tall girl, a mix feeling start to attack every inch of her existence.

"Lisa! " she tugs the Thai girl's hands. Lisa didn't look back, she pull her hand roughly and keep on walking leaving the brunette behind. "Lisa stop! " Jennie says anggrily, owning an ignorance from the Thai girl make her marches forward to stop Lisa from walking. "Stop Lisa! " She grip Lisa's arm tight as she stands in front of the girl.

JENNIE

"Why are you being like this Lisa?! " I let out a shaky voice repressing myself from screaming, my anger and confusion are dominating my body. She shoves me to the side as she make a through and continue walking away, my heart rate increase deliberately making me loosing my patience, I tug her hard and turned her body around to face me.

"Lisa.. Talk to me, stop being childish! " I'm loosing my patience, my voice raised up and that make Lisa head up to look me, her looks made my heart tear apart.. "Who the fuck is being childish here Jennie Kim? Oh.. I see.. " she let out a mocking laugh.. "Is it because I embarrassed you in front of your popular crush?!"

I shoot a fury gaze at her "What the fuck Manoban?! Did you get a silly jealousy because I was trying to be friendly to everyone?! That's absurd Lisa, like I've just stand there for a fuckin 20 minute and having a good talk! Why are you being childish? " I fire back at her. I can't tell if I'm still owning my breath because I don't feel I'm in control anymore.

My sudden rage made her stunned, she's looking at me with a fully raging feeling "Unbelievable Jennie Kim, I was eyeing you from the start and did you really thought you are giving him a friendly attitude? Do you like.. Exchanging flirty line to be friendly at people to make a good conversation?! How super friendly you are! " she mock me with the friendly words, I fumed right away..

" You.. " I was going to throw my heart out when she cut me off "And exchanging number?! Is that how you're being friendly?! "

LISA

"...and exchanging number?! Is that how you're being friendly?!" I snapped her right away and that earn a tight grip on my shoulders. "Excuse me?! Who are you to forbid me from exchanging number to anyone I like?! It's not that I want to date all of them?! And who are you? My girlfriend?? "

I swear.. After that sentence, I hear my heart cracks instantly. My eyes started to bulged with tears, I don't want to cry.. I don't want to cry..

"After all this time Jennie? After our fucking kiss? " I can't hold up my tears anymore, it's flowing tremendously with our kissing scene playing in my mind, remembering all the stuff we did together, the indirect confession through our lyrics, did she really feel nothing? Then that's mean.. I was being delusional, for God sake! I was a fool.. I'm truly a looser..

"Did you play with my emotion Jennie? What did you expect from me after feeling like I owned you already because I fucking swears I own the world when you start being all affectionate to me, like.. " I can't continue my words, it's already choked between my throat "I thought I own your heart beat Jennie, you kissed me back when I kissed you.. What was that? An experiment to stomp on this pitiful Lalisa Manoban?"

Her rageful expression begin to soften, she slowly walk towards me but I step back, she paused on her track and stares at me with a 'please' look. I'm a sobbing mess, I don't care anymore if someone caught us in this our silly drama.

"Why did you fuck up my feeling Jennie? Did you stay with me because no one gonna pick me? Because I'm just an underrated person who've been picked up from a garbage, because I was alienated? " I can hear my voice resonating in my head and it leave a deep hurtful wounds around my inner body, it's funny when my own words hurt me, I feel like I just wake up from a good dream and now I'm facing a reality.. Jennie Kim doesn't actually likes me back.

"Lisa.. I.. " Her face seems regretful and totally loss of words, I just can't hear any breaking words from her anymore "Listen Jennie.. I'm sorry for being a fuss in your life.. I love you so much Jennie and its hurt so much.. please leave me now.. I can't do this anymore.. I need time to recover, it won't be easy for both of us.. but I.. "

I can't finish my words when Jennie bump her body to hug me.. I can feel her wet eyes on my bare shoulder.. "Lisa I..please.. I'm sorry.. " I clench my eyes tightly, as much as I want to hold her and feel her warmth, I can't.. So I pushed her body from me, I tremble from crying so much that I can't even feel my whole body. "Jennie.. I'm sorry.. But I need time alone.. "

And with that.. I walked away, I usually look back at her if she's still looking at me but not today.. Or maybe never again..

.

.

.

Lisa has completely being distant to all of the members. It's not that they are hurting her directly but having them with her means having Jennie with her too and she was so hurted that she doesn't want to see Jennie. It's better to be able to look at her without a drip of anger than forcing yourself to accept her existence when all you feel is draining.

Jennie also look soulless with Lisa distance, she wants to fix things, she wants to face her.. And say sorry at her, because this time.. She feels so horrible at herself, she feels so horrible and ashamed at Lisa for treating her like that. She threw a nasty word to the person who've been loyally with her, despite her awful treatment towards the Thai girl, she was there with her when the whole world is against her.

Without Lisa, she feels empty.. Her heart ache to hold her, her body craves for her warmth affectionate touches, her eyes long for her deep loving stares..her whole body, yearn for every inches of Lalisa Manoban's existence.

JENNIE

"Chaeng, did Lisa came today? " it's been 2 weeks since I barely saw Lisa, she would gather with us when it comes to practicing but never hanged out with us again. "Yes..actually unnie..she just walk out from here, she greeted us awhile then went out minutes after that.. " I sigh, I know Lisa was avoiding me. "Unnie, you should probably talk to Lisa.. She is hurting so much that she didn't care about her health.. I don't mean to make you feel bad but.. I'm worried about Lisa.. "

I know Chaeyoung was just being considerate to Lisa, it's my fault anyway.. If it's not because of my stupid mouth.. I can hold Lisa close to me. " it's okay Chaeng, I'll talk to her the next time we gather for our practice. " I says, assuring Chaeyoung, she is Lisa's best friend so she must seen Lisa hurting so much.

But it need to be fixed right away..

This messy matter should be settled..

"Chaeng.. Can you tell Lisa to meet me at 8? She doesn't want to reply my text or call. She blocked me" I say sadly. Chaeyoung sit closer to me "Okay unnie, just please.. Don't mess it up again.. I know you didn't mean it.. Don't worry, you'll be always her great Jennie Kim, it wouldn't change.." The tears I've been holding escaped instantly when I feel a warm assurance from Chaeyoung. "I just want to show her my regret Chaeng.. I'm a horrible human" I cried tremendously, I can't lift this huge mixed horrible feeling inside me anymore.

Chaeyoung pull my body into her embrace, stroking my back softly. "Unnie.. Don't worry Lisa will talk to you" I can feels her sob, she cried with me too. This softy is so easy to cry, she just simply cries when other cries. I pull out my body slowly when I feel calmer and lighter. "Thank you Chaeng.. I didn't know how much I need a shoulder, I appreciate your presence" I sincerely thanked her, despite my awful words to her best friend she's still care for me.

.

.

.

Chaengie : unnie, I texted her.. But, she said she doesn't want to see you

Jen-unnie : Aish that brat.. But I really need to settle this Chaeng! What should I do?

Changie : hmm.. This is so complicated.. I'll go with you then, I'll knock the door, and leave..hehe, u can talk to her after that..

Jen-unnie : aww~but I don't want to trouble u Chaeng :( it's okay if Lisa doesn't want to see me..

Chaengie : unnie.. I just want to help both of you, okay.. I'll fetch you, wink!

Jennie smiles when she reads Chaeyoung text, she's relieved that Lisa's best friend is willing to help her.

Inhale..

Exhale..

Inhale..

Exhale..

Nervous..

Now they are standing in front of Lisa's dormitory. Jennie bought a plastic of chocolate milk and a roses for her, because the last time when Lisa apologized she went all the trouble to buy the things Jennie like for her forgiveness, it send a choking feeling inside her lungs when she playback the scene..

"Unnie.. I'm gonna knock.. " Jennie nods at Chaeyoung.

Knock! Knock!

"Lisa-yah.. It's me Chaeyoung.. Open the door! " it was silent for a moment before they hear Lisa voice. "Chaeng-ah.. Why are you here?! I have eaten already.. And I don't want to talk about Jennie, just go back Chipmunk.. I'm okay.. " Ouch thats hurt.. Jennie form a sad expression. "Lisa yah.. I just want to have a little conversation with you" Chaeyoung seems nervous as she doesn't know how to make a good logical excuse. Moment later..

"okay.. Hold up" Lisa voice was small but still hearable.. Okay.. That was unexpected like the excuse is so lame.. Chaeyoung curl a small smile when she hears her best friend is going to allow her to enter her room, with that lame excuse.

The door opened..

"Chaeng you better not.... " she stunned as she sees another person standing beside her best friend. "What the fuck Cheng?! You evil chipmunk.. Yahh! Don't you dare Roseanne Park! " Lisa yell at the sneaking away Chipmunk, Lisa wasn't expecting this to be a twist event. She sigh, massaging her temple.

Jennie is still standing.. Like being froze, she didn't flinched a bit. "What do you want Jennie.. It's late, just go back.. It's not safe walking at night.." She voices coldly. "I want to talk to you Lisa.. " Jennie low down her head, the guilt is serenading her whole body. "About what? About that night when you were talking with your so called friend Hanbin? " She asks sarcasticly.

Jennie shook her head, she gather a courage to stare at the brown orbs but what she sees isn't the eyes with glitter but a pair of eyes that reflect sorrows. "I want to say sorry about what I did.." She mumbles in shaky voice. "What you are sorry for actually Jennie? " She shoot back a confusing question, Jennie seems puzzled a bit.. She thought she stated it clearly.

"Are you aware of the real issue between us? " She ask again. Jennie body is stiff, it gained the Thai girl a puzzled look from Jennie. Lisa smile sadly.. "It's okay Jennie.. You don't understand.. I didn't blame you for what I feel, I started it.. I was foolish.. I'm sorry.. I was being delusional over your sweet act" Jennie frowns. "What do you mean Lisa? "

Lisa bow down her head and the sobs are starting to control her body. Jennie reach Lisa's shoulder to pull her in a hug but Lisa pushed the latter body slightly, afraid of loosing over her crave for the latter's warmth. "Just go Jennie, give me time.. I'll heal eventually" Lisa was closing the door but Jennie quickly hold the door knob. "I want to fix this mess Lisa.. Please.. Don't be like this.. " Jennie plead at her.

"What mess do you want to fix Jennie?! I am the mess in this problem.. And I can't be fixed! " Her hands tremble to pull the door, dismissing the older girl. But again.. Jennie hold Lisa's hand to stop her. This time, she can't bear it anymore.. She just want to fix the mess, she can't let the girl go like this. "Then let me fix you! " Jennie cried out.

They were both crying, hurting and falling apart. The atmosphere isn't filled with words anymore.. The sobs and the tears are lurking in the cold night. One person is craving for love and one person is remorsing with guilt. "How can you fix me Jennie? " Lisa asks weakly, her voice is small and her stare is aching. "I.. I will treat you better, I will not throw a mean and nasty words to you anymore.. I swear.. I promise! I'll be good for you.. " Jennie beg to her, Jennie Kim begged for the first time in her life, it's all for this precious person in front of her.

"Jennie you don't fucking understand!! You can't fix me with that! " the Thai girl yells, the frustration grew drastically as the shorter girl can't understand the real matter between them.

"Then what is it Lisa?! Tell me how can I fix you! Tell me what exactly do you want from me to fix you! " Jennie backfires her.

"Love me back Jennie, tell me... All the moment we shared together were real.. Tell me the kiss was real.. I want you to love me.."

Silence.

"That's the only way to fix me....."