Chapter 33
You & I ✓
"Did you tell him?" Alex asked sitting besides me on my bed. After I called earlier today she came rushing by my side within the quickest time. She was very supportive and didn't force me to speak anything. I slowly confessed everything to her and she listened patiently to me. I was grateful to have her by my side.
"No and I don't plan on telling him." I said without looking at her.
"You know I am not going to force you to do something. Its your choice but as a friend I suggest that you at least tell him about his own child. He has the right to know. I am not saying that you forgive him but just let him know." She said.
"Alex, we don't even know what will happen if I tell him. He may completely refuse to accept my baby or he may take my baby away from me. I don't want my baby to grow with them, calling Christine his mother. Though it was all of a sudden, I love my baby no matter what. I am perfectly capable of taking care of my baby and I don't need him or his charity. I am not going to suck his money for childcare." I said huffing.
"I don't doubt your capabilities but you work with him, its understandable that he wouldn't notice now but what will happen when your pregnancy will start showing?" She stated the truth but I had already thought about it.
"That won't be a problem. I am resigning. I'll take a new job anywhere else where no one will interfere in our lives." I palmed my flat belly lovingly. Though my baby was unplanned but still I would always love him. I knew about him for only a few hours now but I had already fallen in love with him. He would be my support for my life.
"I know what you must be going through. I support you in whatever you plan to do." She smiled at me positively. I was so relieved to hear that. I was in need of my best friend's support and she was giving me exactly that.
"Thanks Alex. I am so lucky to have you by my side." I said with tears in my eyes.
"Aww! Getting hormonal already? How far are you again?" She said cooing.
"Six weeks."Â "You know you have to help me with this pregnancy throughout. You'll always be there if I need you right?" I asked her just for reassurance.
"Only on one condition." She said smiling. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.
"You'll have to make me the godmother of your baby." She said. I smiled in happiness. There was no way anyone else would be more deserving than Alex.
"Have you planned any name yet?"
"O God, No. Alex I just found out like three hours ago. I am still adjusting." I said with horror.
"Right. Sorry." She smiled sheepishly. I was feeling better now than earlier. Sharing my feelings with Alex definitely helped me.
One thing I was clear of now was, I wasn't just alone now. I had a little one inside me. Someone who would be only be mine. I didn't have to share him or her. I would give him or her all the love in the world. My baby would never feel lonely like me. He or she would always be loved by his or her mommy. Mommy! That felt so unusual and so foreign to be called. I wasn't scared anymore to be ending up like my mother. Images of a little boy with curly brown hair and blue eyee and a little girl with the same brown hair and brown eyes like her..... Daddy swirled in my mind, where they were running in the park and smiling cheerfully.
For just a moment I thought about what would happen if the circumstances were different. What if we never separated? Would Ethan be happy that we were having a baby? Of course he would be. We would be a perfect happy family. My eyes instantly watered. God! Alex was right, I was already so hormonal.
But now was not the time to think that. Now I had to submit my resignation and then find a new job that paid well enough for both of us. It was going to be difficult but I had to do it for the sake of my little baby.
Monday morning....
I was nervous about meeting Ethan. I had made up my mind and there was no turning back now. But still I was feeling nervous. I typed my resignation and took a print. Signing it, I walked to his door. I knocked his office door and he called me in.
He looked up at me as I went in. His eyes got stuck on me. The way he was looking at me was making me feel weak. I cleared my throat to get rid of the awkwardness the air. He crossed his arms in front of him and motioned me to sit.
I walked until I was in front of his desk and stook there fidgeting with the envelope. It was difficult than I thought it would be.
"Do you want to say something?" He spoke.
"Yes, I.... Umm... No..... I mean..... Actually, well I wanted to.... I..... " I couldn't form a sentence let alone tell him about my resignation. I sighed in defeat.
"Well?" He spoke.
I handed him the envelope. I figured that it would be better than saying anything. He took it from me and examined the outside. He eyed it confusingly and raised his eyebrows at me.
"What is this?"
"Open and see it." I said not leaving my eyes from his face. If this was my last moment with him I might as well make the best of the moment. He looked handsome as ever even with a tired expression on his face. I could see that he had been taking a lot of stress lately and the dark circles under his eyes were a clear evidence.
He tore open the envelope and unfolded the letter. He began reading the letter from the beginning. I looked away from his face not wanting to see the expression. A long moment of silence passed between us. I peeked to see him staring at the letter. He had finished reading it a long time back but he just kept on staring. His jaw tickled with... anger.. fury? I didn't utter a word. I waited for him to say something. The silence was deafening now.
"What is this?" He asked slamming the letter on his desk.
"Well, it is a letter stating my resignation, Sir. It states that I am resigning from Monroe Industries and that.. " I stated not caring about his scoffing at my response. He cut me off.
"I know that. I can see that." He yelled at me. I flinched at his tone. "Why are you resigning? You can't leave m.. You can't leave the office. I.. We need you here." He said.
"I can't continue working here with all the things going on. I want to leave. Please accept it." I cut short the truth. I could never tell him the true reason.
"Like hell I will. I refuse to accept it." He said dismissing me. I was not going to back down now.
"Why can't you accept it? What do you want? Do you want me be here and see you having a happy time with your new family while having my heart crushed. I don't have a problem with you being happy. I want you to be happy. But I can't be a part of it. You said that you didn't want anyone finding about us, right? Then that's what I am doing. I am helping you to keep our secret, a secret. Go enjoy your fortune. Let me be free." I said with tears in my eyes. I just wanted to be out of here. He looked at me for a moment without saying anything. I could see that he was having a battle with himself.
"Am I suffocating you? Is that what you are trying to imply?" He said with a defeated tone. I was shocked with the words. He didn't suffocate me. He was my life and now my baby. So I said with determination.
"Let me go Ethan."
"Fine. I'll send it back to you before today." He said looking away from me. I nodded and left.
On returning back to my office. I sat in my chair and took a deep breath to calm myself.
******
It was almost the end of the day now. Being my last day here now I collected my belongings and stuffed them in my bag. Alex came in and stood by my side.
"You packed everything?" She asked looking around.
"Yes. I took whatever was mine." She looked at me and smiled.
"I wish you all the best Erica. I know you'll take good care of him." She said patting me on the back.
"Thanks." I smiled. "How can you be so sure that it will be a boy? What if it'll be a girl?" I asked. Since I found out that I was pregnant she had been referring to the baby as 'he'.
"Oh I just know, okay?" She laughed.
"He will be a lucky one to have you." She said with her smile fading away into a sigh.
"I am lucky to have him. He has made me realize that I don't need anyone else to be happy. We can start our new lives far away from here. He is already making me so happy. Day by day I feel myself getting more attached to him. I never imagined this day will come in my life. But I'm happy that it did. I'm so excited." I spoke with happiness. I was very positive that everything would be okay now. Just me and my baby.
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