Chapter 30

Nani Hirunkit

The library was alive with quiet chaos. The weight of upcoming exams pressed down on everyone, turning the once-lively campus into something heavier, something more strained. Papers rustled, keyboards clicked, the occasional frustrated sigh broke through the near-silence. Some students were hunched over their textbooks, furiously highlighting passages as if their lives depended on it. Others whispered to their friends, whining about how much they still had left to study.

I wasn't paying attention to any of it.

I sat at one of the large wooden tables, posture straight, reading glasses resting on the bridge of my nose as I scanned the dense text in front of me. My notebook was already filled with neatly written notes, each line carefully thought out and structured. I had highlighted important points in yellow, underlined key phrases in black ink. A second notebook sat beside me, already half-full of practice questions I had gone through earlier in the day. My laptop was open, a document pulled up with even more notes—backup, just in case.

For once, my mind wasn't wandering. It wasn't drifting off into thoughts I didn't want to face. It was grounded, rooted in the work in front of me.

I flipped a page, eyes moving quickly over the text. The world around me blurred, sounds fading into the background.

Across from me, Aou was resting his forehead against the table, groaning into his arms. "I swear, I was born to do something else. Not this. Anything but this."

Boom, who sat beside him, didn't even look up from his own notes. "You say that every semester. And yet, here you are."

Aou lifted his head just enough to glare. "Boom. I'm serious. I think I'm actually dying this time."

I didn't react. I barely even heard them.

I reached for my pen, spinning it between my fingers absentmindedly as I continued reading. There was something oddly comforting about getting lost in this, about letting myself disappear into the structure of my studies. Here, there were no complications, no feelings I didn't want to deal with. Just facts. Just words on a page, equations to solve, concepts to memorize.

Across the table, Dew sighed dramatically, tossing his pen onto his notebook and slumping back in his chair. "I can't anymore," he declared. "My brain is officially shutting down."

Win, who sat beside him, barely glanced up. "Keep going."

Dew pouted. "Babe, my brain cells are actually dying."

Win still didn't look up. "Then let them die quietly."

I smirked slightly but didn't look away from my textbook. I jotted down a few more notes, my focus unwavering.

Perth and Santa were at the other end of the table, both wearing headphones, fully immersed in their own work. Every now and then, Santa would tap Perth's arm and point to something on his screen, and Perth would nod, adjusting his glasses before scribbling something in his notebook.

Joong and Dunk were sharing a book between them, whispering about something—whether it was related to studying or not, I couldn't tell.

It was late. The clock on the library wall read past six, and yet no one had moved. No one had even talked about leaving.

I pushed my glasses up slightly and went back to my notes. My fingers were starting to cramp from all the writing, but I barely noticed. I had found a rhythm, a pace that kept me steady. If I kept going like this, I could get through everything before the exams.

Boom stretched, letting out a yawn. "Nani, you haven't said a word in like... an hour."

I finally glanced up. "I'm working."

Aou narrowed his eyes. "No complaints? No 'this is hell' speech? Nothing?"

I shook my head. "I just want to finish this."

Dew gave me a long look before turning to Win. "I think our son is possessed."

Win hummed in agreement, not looking up from his work. "Let him be. It's nice when he's quiet."

I rolled my eyes but said nothing. I went back to my work, flipping another page.

The world outside the library windows had already darkened, the sun having long since set. The warm glow of the lamps cast soft shadows over the pages of my textbook, the overhead lights humming faintly.

It was exhausting. It was draining. But at least here, buried under books and endless notes, I didn't have to think about anything else.

Just this. Just the work.

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The night air was crisp against my skin as I stepped outside, away from the suffocating walls of the university. My head ached from hours of studying, my eyes sore despite the reading glasses still resting on the bridge of my nose. Exhaustion settled deep in my bones, but it wasn't just from today—it was from everything. It built up inside me, weighing me down, making each breath feel heavier than it should.

I leaned against the cool metal railing just outside the building, letting my bag slip off my shoulder. The university courtyard was nearly empty at this hour, just a few scattered students walking back to their dorms, heads buried in books or phones. The distant hum of traffic mixed with the occasional chirp of insects, creating a quiet that wasn't really silent at all.

Pulling out my phone, I unlocked it out of habit. My notifications were nothing but class group chats and deadline reminders. I clicked my phone off just as quickly, shoving it back into my pocket. I wasn't even sure why I checked. It wasn't like I was waiting for anything.

...Or maybe I just didn't want to admit what I was hoping for.

The door behind me swung open, the sound breaking through my thoughts. I turned my head slightly, expecting another late student heading home, but my breath hitched for just a second when I saw who it was.

Sky.

He had a bag slung over his shoulder, his usual confident posture slightly slouched, probably just as drained as I felt. His eyes landed on me, and for a moment, neither of us spoke. I saw the flicker of hesitation in his face, the kind of surprise that came when you found something you weren't expecting.

"You're still here?" Sky asked, breaking the silence first. His voice wasn't cold, but it wasn't exactly warm either.

I nodded, shifting my weight against the railing. "Yeah. Studying."

Sky hummed in acknowledgment and stepped closer, stopping a few feet away. He leaned against the railing beside me but kept a careful distance. Not too close. Not too far.

For a while, we just stood there. Neither of us rushing to fill the silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't easy either.

Then Sky exhaled and ran a hand through his hair before glancing at me. "You look like shit."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Thanks. You're so good at compliments."

A quiet chuckle escaped him, but it faded quickly. He looked at me again—really looked at me. And for some reason, that was worse than him saying anything at all.

"You should get some rest," he said, softer this time. "You're gonna burn yourself out."

I turned away, focusing on the glow of the streetlights instead. "Mhm," I hummed. But I didn't move.

Neither did he.

The silence stretched again, but it was different now—less tense, more fragile. Like both of us were standing at the edge of something neither of us was ready to name.

Eventually, Sky sighed and pushed off the railing. "Don't stay out here too long," he muttered before turning toward the parking lot.

I watched him go, a strange hollowness settling in my chest. I wasn't sure what I wanted him to say, but I knew this wasn't it.

Yet, as I stood there alone in the quiet, I realized something.

For the first time in a long time, Sky had actually looked at me. Really looked at me.