Chapter 10

Sky Wongravee

The cold air bites at my skin as I walk, but I barely notice it.

My mind is too busy racing.

Nani's gone.

And no one told me why.

He looked like he was about to break. I don't know what happened before I got there, but I do know one thing—I can't ignore this. I won't.

If no one else is going to tell me what's going on, I'll figure it out myself.

I have to.

My feet move faster, my breath coming out in sharp exhales as I head to the first place that makes sense.

Our dorm.

Maybe he just needed space. Maybe he went back, locked himself in our room, and is waiting for everything to pass. It wouldn't be the first time.

I take the stairs two at a time, barely registering the burn in my legs as I reach our floor. The second I get to our door, I push it open.

"Nani?"

Silence.

I step inside, scanning the room. His bag is here, his books are stacked neatly on his desk, but... he's not.

The bed is untouched. The air feels empty, like no one has been here in hours.

I clench my jaw and turn on my heel.

Dew and Win's place.

I walk fast, my hands clenched into fists at my sides, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. When I reach their door, I knock twice before trying the handle.

Locked.

I frown, pulling out my phone and dialing Dew. It rings a few times before he picks up.

"Sky?" His voice is a little muffled, like he's somewhere loud.

"Where are you?" I ask, cutting straight to the point. "Is Nani with you?"

There's a pause before he answers. "Me and Win are in his hometown, remember? Visiting his family this weekend. Nani's not with us—why? What's going on?"

I exhale sharply, pressing my fingers against my temple. "Nothing. Never mind."

I hang up before he can ask more.

The library.

I take off down the street, not caring if I bump into people. He likes the quiet. When things get too overwhelming, he disappears between the bookshelves, letting the weight of stories that aren't his drown out whatever's in his head.

But as I step inside, my stomach drops.

It's empty.

I check every aisle, every quiet corner where he might be sitting, but there's nothing. The librarian glances at me when I pass, but I ignore it.

Nani isn't here.

My hands tighten at my sides as I push through the doors again, my legs moving before I can think.

Cafés.

Parks.

The campus garden.

Everywhere I can think of.

Everywhere he could be.

And nothing.

The frustration in my chest is turning into something heavier, something sharp. I stop in the middle of the sidewalk, breathing hard. The city feels too big all of a sudden, too vast, too full of places where he could disappear.

Where are you, Nani?

I press my lips together, forcing myself to think.

And then, like a whisper at the back of my mind, a memory surfaces.

A place.

Our place.

I don't hesitate. My legs move before I can process it, my breath uneven as I weave through the streets, past familiar corners, past blurred faces of people who don't matter right now.

Because if he's anywhere, if he doesn't want to be found—

He'll be there.

I push through the last turn, stepping into the small, hidden clearing tucked away from everything else. The streetlights barely reach here, the trees overhead casting shadows across the ground. It's quiet, untouched by the rest of the world.

And then I see him.

Sitting on our usual bench, shoulders hunched, staring at nothing.

His hands are clasped together in his lap, his fingers gripping each other so tightly his knuckles are white.

His chest rises and falls with slow, measured breaths—like he's trying to keep himself together.

Like he's unraveling.

Something in me twists at the sight.

I take a careful step forward, my voice quieter this time.

"Nani."

He doesn't look up.

Doesn't move.

But I know he hears me.

I swallow the lump in my throat and take another step, stopping just beside the bench.

"I've been looking everywhere for you."

Silence.

The wind rustles through the trees, the distant sound of traffic filling the gaps between us.

I exhale slowly, forcing myself to sit down beside him, leaving just enough space between us.

I don't say anything.

I don't push.

I just wait.

Because whatever's going on—whatever broke him tonight—I need him to tell me on his own.

-----------------

The silence between us is unbearable.

I can feel the anger rolling off Nani in waves, the way his body is tense, his arms crossed so tightly it looks like he's holding himself together. He still won't look at me.

But I can't take it anymore.

"Are you going to keep ignoring me forever?"

Nani's jaw clenches, but he doesn't move.

I exhale sharply, letting out a humorless laugh. "Right. Of course. Just keep acting like I don't exist."

That does it.

His head snaps toward me, and his eyes—God, his eyes—are burning with anger, frustration, but underneath it all, they're red. Puffy. Like he's been holding back tears for hours.

Like he's barely keeping himself together.

"You think I'm acting like you don't exist?" His voice is quiet but razor-sharp. "Are you serious?"

I frown. "That's literally what you've been doing, Nani."

His breath stutters. He lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head like he can't believe what he's hearing. "Unbelievable."

"Then talk to me!" I snap, frustration bubbling over. "Everyone's acting weird, our friends won't tell me anything, and you—" I hesitate, my throat tightening. "You walked past me today like I wasn't even there."

His expression flickers—something flashes in his eyes, just for a second, before it's gone.

Then, he speaks.

"You kissed me, Sky."

My stomach twists.

The memory slams into me—drunken haze, warm skin, the way Nani froze when my lips pressed against his. How he didn't pull away. How, for a second, I thought—

No.

It didn't mean anything.

I open my mouth, but Nani doesn't give me the chance to speak.

"And you already told me it was a mistake," he says, his voice sharp, cutting through the thick air between us. His hands are trembling now, clenched at his sides. That same night, Sky. You didn't even let me say anything before you looked me in the eyes and told me it was a drunken mistake."

His voice wavers.

I feel like the ground is crumbling under me.

"I—I was drunk, Nani," I force out, my voice weak.

He lets out a sharp laugh, but there's no humor in it. "Yeah. I got that part loud and clear." His eyes darken, and when he speaks again, his voice is lower, rougher. "But do you even hear yourself, Sky? You chased me down tonight. You're looking for answers. Why?"

I stare at him, confused, overwhelmed. "Because things are different, Nani! You're avoiding me, our friends are acting like something huge happened, and I don't even—"

"Something huge did happen!" Nani explodes, his voice breaking slightly. "But you already decided for both of us that it didn't matter!"

His words slam into me, knocking the breath out of my lungs.

"You want to fix things? You want to go back to normal?" He laughs bitterly, shaking his head. "Then why are you here, Sky?" His voice drops to something quieter, something almost broken. "If it was just a mistake, why do you care so much?"

I open my mouth. Nothing comes out.

I don't know.

I don't know why I care so much.

All I know is that I can't stand this. I can't stand the way everything feels wrong, how Nani won't even look at me the same way anymore, how our friends are acting like something irreparable has happened.

"I—" My voice cracks. I shake my head, frustrated. "I don't know."

And I hate that answer.

I hate the way Nani's face twists, the way his fingers tremble at his sides.

His breath stutters again, and I notice the way his chest rises and falls unevenly, like he's trying to keep it together. But his eyes—God, his eyes—they're shining.

"You don't know," he repeats under his breath, shaking his head. He presses the heels of his hands against his eyes for a second, exhaling sharply, like he's trying to force the tears away. But it's no use.

His voice cracks when he speaks again.

"Then maybe I should stop waiting for you to figure it out."

The words hit something deep inside my chest.

"Wait—what does that mean?" My heart pounds. "Nani, what does that—"

"I can't do this anymore, Sky!" His voice breaks, and this time, so does he.

A tear slips down his cheek, and he furiously wipes it away, like he hates that I'm seeing him like this. But the tears didn't stop flooding his face.

His shoulders shake. His hands curl into fists. His breathing is uneven.

"I can't keep pretending like I don't care, like it didn't mean anything, like it didn't—" He stops himself, squeezing his eyes shut. His voice is barely above a whisper now. "It's not fair."

My stomach twists. "Nani..."

He steps back, shaking his head. Another tear falls, and this time, he doesn't wipe it away. "You don't even realize it, do you?" His voice is shaking. "You kissed me, Sky. You. Not the other way around. And then you woke up and threw it away like it was nothing." His breath stutters. "Like I was nothing."

I feel like I'm drowning.

"Nani, I—"

"Save it," he cuts me off, turning away. His shoulders are trembling. "You don't get to do this."

And before I can stop it—before I can stop him—Nani walks away.

And this time, he doesn't look back.